"ezekiel 25:17"

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Pencil note, dated 15/7/08, with a torn out page from a glossy book pasted in
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Tha book fell onto tha floor of tha Library as I was sittin lookin at tha fire, it was late, or early, tha Hour of the Wolf. Even in a place like Tox, folks bunker down when that time hits. Tha streets were empty. Tha Library was still. Just me and tha Fire. Tha book fell, and so I stirred. Rats maybe. Or bloody spooks. I didn’t smell anybody, nor rats. Even tha rats know better, and I can always make more burgers. Its been almost a month now, and still tha Library is . . . empty. Tha Spirit we summoned has not shown itself, not ta me, at least. Tha book fell, so I went ta get it. Its what I do, its Respect. Same as when I touch tha stone walls as I come or go. It Knows, I know it does. It cares. It deserves our respect.

I get tha book, and as I pick it up from where it fell, a page falls out. I go ta shove it back in place, and I get a surprise. Tha page is already there! Tha loose page is fer ME. Tha Library gave me a page. Its back! I swear, if anyone had happened by as I was dancin about and caryin on like a . well. Wild thing . .ha. they would have had quite tha show fer free. Once I finish dancing about, book in one paw, spare page in tha other, I shelve tha book, and walk over to tha patch on tha wall where I gouged clawmarks in tha stone, and signed a pact with it in my Dimentox-charged blood. I rest my paw on the spot and close my eyes, thankin tha Spirits fer givin us tha strength ta bring it back.

So I have a look at tha page. Its tha way tha Library has always spoke ta me, well, since that one time with Nareth . . . I shudder still at that day . . . Tenguska . . . Her Ladyships rage, Poncho, throat all but torn out, Denny’s fury, Lari’s compassion, Legion, inhabitin Lorne, voicin its scorn and me, cowerin behind tha pillar, transfixed by tha forces these beins called forth. Flame and Ice, Wind and Light.

Tha smell of so much blood as so many stood around and did nothin. It wasn’t my place ta interfere. They weren’t my Family, just those that lent me a spot by their fire and generally bore me ta be around. Now Lorne is gone, followin Legion’s pull, ta tha Shadows. Arcann, gone to tha Coven, where he sits doin whatever it is he does, and threatinin those who used ta be his own. Lari dead and back again as an Angel, Poncho, vanished after what happened with Nareth.

Nareth. Huntress. She never liked me. Omega’s Childer. Her Ladyships Own Blood. It doesn’t matter if she did or not. Tha loss of Nareth, it wasn’t good. For all of us. Fer Her Ladyship tha most. I know that sting. Labyrinth came forth. Nareth was . . ett. Tha Shadows ett her. Ritual they say, ta bring forth Labyrinth. Nareth’s will, that say. She wanted it. Labyrinth says its Eris.

Eris is a goddess. Goddess of strife. A primal force, conflict, breakin. Things fallin and lost. Nareth is lost in Labyrinth. Gone, says Labyrinth, but ya can never trust tha word of a godling. Unless yer its equal, and I aint. But I know somethin that Labyrinth don’t, or is too high and mighty ta consider. Foolish Beast, it calls me. Nareth used ta call me names too. Both are right. I am a Beast. I am a Fool. I am a creature of tha Wyld.

I opened my paw. Opened my eyes and looked at tha page tha Library had given me.

"Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children."

Tha words that spring forth. There is a black guy with a gun and bad hair. Looks like that Jedi in that movie. Tha words hit me like tha fist of, well, we all know which fist I’m thinking of. Tha meanin is doubly powerful when I remember Legions ghostly whispers words from tha beak of Raven, that same eve.

"We shall love you to ferry her elsewhere. We shall adore your being for bringing her from darkness to happy hunting grounds, or dreaming time We shall beg you to bring her from the cold and lonely night...."

Labyrinth says Nareth is no more, that she’s gone. Dead and gone. That’s just what Eris WOULD say. And I don’t fuckin believe it. I made an oath ta Coyote, when My-She freed me from my sufferin. I made an Oath to tha Library, in part payment of that. It don’t bother me none. I am a Shaman of Gaia. I have a debt ta pay fer all i was before. A debt i will never pay off. Ya know what? that dont bother me none, neither. I'm gunna ease Nareths Passage. Bring her back to Her Ladyship, if i can, send her onwards if that is all i can do.

But she ain't gettin left behind in tha Maze. I know better than ta take on a Godling in a game i can't win, but i have a gift. Somethin It don't. I offered ta help It, It dont get why. I am Free. i have my own Will. If It understood that, maybe It would understand WHY i'd help free it, fer all its done, fer all it could do. I am not tha cowerin outcast i once was. I am not a lot of things i once was.

I will find tha lost Ones, and guide them where they need ta go. I am a Scout. I am a Shaman. I am beloved and love. I am Free. I am a creature of tha Wyld and need not fear tha Void. Cause if it takes me, then it wont be tha Void no more. And won't Coyote laugh then? Coyote can't abide a Void. Always gotta poke a paw in and stir up His Own flavour of trouble, one Eris aught ta remember.