Her Moon- OOC - not in the journal

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the following piece is a of a sensitive and sensual nature. If you may be offended, please stop now.

it is not a story as recorded in Grr's journal, but was written as a glimpse into his life, as seen by the Library Spirit and its inhabitants.
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The icy night air snaps at Grr's furless form as he bounces into the building he has thought of, if not called as home for almost a whole year. Hands tucked into armpits he briefly shakes first one bare foot then the other from the slush that coats them and frowns "fuckin un-natural." In the dimness of the library and wearing the shape of a man, Grr does not smell Her. He would not have heard Her even had he been in a more natural skin. He saw Her hair, pale skin and scarlet dress. Colour, the only redeeming feature of being in this shape. Even had he wished to, pulling his eyes from Her would have been difficult.

The army field manual stated that vampires were naturally attractive, that that was as much a feeding adaptation as his mottled golden fur allowing him to blend into dry grass and desert was. Her prey would be drawn to that beauty as easily as his would oblivious to him. "do come in from the cold GrrBrool, I wouldn't want you to catch your death" He walked over and dropped to one knee beside Her. "ah, I do so love the New moon". He rolled his eyes as She spoke, their joke. "Yer Ladyship..." was all he said, voice and enunciation clearer without a mouth full of fangs.

There were many reasons a casual observer might have found the scene amusing. The tall man in beautiful, if a little worse for wear clothes, the delicate seeming woman, regal in Her finery, one kneeling before the other, unshod even as snowflakes melted in his hair. Or at the way She looked carefully, observed and reached forwards to preen him, plucking a brier from his coat and straightening his long copper-gold hair. A casual observer would see this and perhaps think "what a mismatched couple."

A keen observer would see far more startling reasons to think this. The extra set of buttons at the back of his trousers at the belt line, who goes out with bare feet in the snow. The deathly stillness of Her countenance and pallor. His inhuman golden eyes. This was a couple of beings who were traditionally foes. Yet here the were. Grr leaned into the preening and opened his eyes "well I suppose there are two good things about bein Fleshie". She pauses for a moment and smiles, "and what would they be, my Coyote?" A flash of a broad smile, not innocent but guileless, crosses Grr's human face. "colours and tha look in yer eyes, Yer Ladyship."

Her laugh was musical and long. "thank heavens for small blessings then". A blush creeps over his face and he drops his gaze for a moment but as he does She extends a hand hand and lifts his chin, Her fingers as cool, smooth and hard as porcelain. As his gaze lifted they exchanged a look. For a moment not woman and man, not Lady and Praetor, for a moment, as She locked eyes with him, two predators saw into each other. A serious exchange that again, the casual observer would miss. Yet when She allowed the slightest curl of a smile to cross Her lips, he lifted his head high, the blush faded and broke out into a broad, lopsided, toothy smile.

Taking Her hand from his chin Grr held it for a moment and looked at it. Turning it over in his own, he studied it as She looked on bemused. "what is ... " She began as he pulled the hand to his chest, pressing it flat to his breast. "yer hand is cool, Yer Ladyship, not as cold as air or stone, for ya have fire in ya, but let me offer warmth." With this he shuffled forwards until he bumped his thighs . He placed his hands on the arms of Her char, and tilted his head, leaving his eyes on Her, and offered his neck to Her."Warm yerself?, my Lady?" A more than casual observer, would see this not simply as a thrall offering blood-service to a mistress, but, given the man's hidden, animal self, an act of deep trusting submission, as left her hand on his chest, and bared his throat to her. Knowingly, willingly. She sighed, wistful, or perhaps simply content.

"What a mismatched couple." some might think, but as She cradled his head, and leaned forwards, to place Her red lips against his neck, tracing the lines of his throat with the gentlest of kisses, before pressing Her mouth more firmly against Grr's throat. He winced for a moment, then breathed deeply, and relaxed into the embrace, with an undulating moan. She held him, one hand on the back of his neck, fingers twined through his long loose hair, the other on his chest and drank in his warmth, scent and as she swallowed, the very water of his life.

Holding him, the Lady kept Her lips to his throat, gently massaging the back of his head, still leaving Her other hand upon his chest. Grr knelt at the chair, human looking hands upon the armrests, eyes open, Watching. He saw the expression upon Her face, the gentle rapture of feeding. He watched as colour crept into pale skin. Swaying gently at her touch, and from the Kiss, Grr was focusing on the woman in red to whom he had offered his throat. The hand upon his chest slid upwards, and with a quiet tinkle, finds the bronze amulet that hangs around Grr's neck, and a solid bronze circlet. The slender ring has no latch or catch, and runs continuously around his neck. Her lips still pressed firmly to his neck, She swallows slowly, it is apparent there is no rush, no frantic need, only an intimate, shared moment.

Pulling her lips softly from his neck, She pauses to inspect the mark, and deftly licks with the tip of her tongue, each of the punctures, then licks the skin around them free from bloody smudges. Releasing the hold on the back of his head, She runs Her fingers through Grr's hair once more, straightening a loose strand, still cupping the amulet in the other hand. "I am very pleased to have you at my side, my coyote". Grr blinks several times, and wobbles slightly. She has not drunk deeply, but it is not mere biology that makes him swoon. "i would stay at yer side, Always, Yer Ladyship, or any other place ya would have me" He flashes another broad grin, eyes twinkling between swift blinking as he strove to remain still. She matches his smile, and hooking a finger through the circlet, draws his face to Hers.

She kisses him deeply, and Grr moans again, feeling the chill fading from Her lips, as the heat from his own blood flows through Her. Hotter than human, fueled further by Her own particular nature with each successive beat of Her heart.Their kiss is as passionate and filled with longing as any may be. A brief eternity passes, and She pulls back, he waits, and with a sly smile, She asks "at my side or and place I would have you, is it?". The thought registers in Grr, and
he straightens as he kneels beside the Lady, grins, and not needing words, nods enthusiastically. She releases the grip on the token he wears, and stands, taking his hand leading him away, upstairs.

They move silently, Her pace making little sound on the stone floors, more from ages of practice than any attempt at stealth, Grr's bare human looking feet are rough, but he moves with a simple animal grace, holding hands as they cross the floor, up one set of stairs, then another and across the open floor to Her private office. They slip inside, and the door is closed. They look about the sparse room and move to the couch. Reaching it, She releases his hand, and unbuttons his jacket, and pushes it off his shoulders. With no shirt under it, the broad crisscrossing scars that cover his torso and arm and trace down into his waistline are plain to see. Grr starts to look
bashfully at his body, but She clicks Her tongue and smirks, tracing one scar to another, and reaches up to unfasten the shoulder of her gown. Any sign of shyness is washed from Grr and the dress starts to slip away. Without moving his gaze from the Lady, now a pillar of white, standing in a crimson pool of fabric, red hair spilling over shoulders and back, he unfastens the belt that his too-large-trousers on. They slip away and he steps out of them.

Standing like this, in the dimness of an office, in a winters night, two naked people, one petite, pale and blemish less, the other tall and lithe, in prime condition, but covered in wide, jagged scarring, again, a casual observer might think "what a mismatched couple". They could not be further from the truth.

Grr sways slightly in the cool night air, his skin raised in goosebumps as they stand together, hands just lightly touching as they simply look at one another. Through the closed blinds colourful lights of the Haven twinkle through gaps, the faint sounds from outside add to the setting, in only the slightest of ways. The light that does enter plays off their skins, and still, both watch, and drink in the sights of the other. She reaches up and traces the line of his temple, running fingers through his hair behind his ear. In kind, he dips and rolls his head at the touch. His hands are already on Her as She, takes the half step closer to him, tracing waist and back. Skin meets skin, freshly fed coolness to feverish metabolism's heat. It was not the chill that gave either the stiffening nipples, however, nor the dark that dilated their pupils.

They kissed, and the affection was obvious to any who might have seen, predatory, hungry, but deeply caring of the needs and feelings of the other. Kisses becomes an embrace, the embrace wobbles, and they sit down heavily on the couch. Grr caresses the Lady, but She pushes his hand aside, and puts a hand again on his chest and none to gently pushes him back into the chair. Again, a casual observer would see nothing unusual here, yet a keen observer would notice the shove, slight as it was, moved both Grr and the couch. Once pinned, he squirms once, then stills, as She traces a fingertip over his chest, eliciting a gasp, and more squirming as he is tickled. This amuses Her, and it is continued, working lower and lower. It was not by accident that She brushing Her breasts against him whilst this was happening, thighs and knees to begin with, and as his twitching and squirming built, higher and higher, until She felt his arousal, in very tangible fashion, bumping and rubbing against Her.

At that touch, Grr jolted and let out an almost strangled sigh. His Lady chuckled and asked "oh, My Coyote, should I stop, was that uncomfortable?" The look of shock that crossed his face was exactly as hoped, and his desperate head shaking the reward She was seeking. Pulling back slightly he moved to follow, but the next action She took froze him in place. Dropping arms over his thighs, palms resting on hips, She pulled his legs in with Her elbows till they rested against her flanks. Cool breasts lay on his thighs and his breathing had picked up, but only until She smiled, not Her pleasant, social smile, nor the threatening snarling smile, this was a wicked, and enamoured grin, with bright flames burning in Her eyes, and fangs bared. Grr's breathing stopped. Not fear. He felt no fear in Her presence, vulnerable, yes. Exposed and aroused, yes, but not fear, never fear. He too, was rewarded. She descended and with the barest brush of fang, showed that there was more to Her hunger than blood.

Time stopped, or it seemed to, from Grr's perspective, and the world seemed to fade away, as the Lady took her time, and made him sing. The noises Grr made, the warbling, undulating moans and squeaks pleased Her, and this in turn pleased him. Sweating now, against the cold, he ran finger tips over Her arms, shoulders, ears, and the back of Her neck. Trembling touches, twitching touches, clawing gently at Her with human looking hands. With a last, shudder inducing motion, She pulls away, and up, causing Grr's taught body to drop back to the couch as though he were a puppet with his strings gone slack. Grinning still, She stood up and stepping forwards, straddled him, putting hands on his shoulders. Looking each other in the eyes, She asked "My Coyote, is this what you seek?" As if the answer was ever in doubt, the formality, the askance, the offering and ritual, gave the scene an air of the sacred. And sacred it was. Down through the ages, this offering has been made, and understanding is as clear to Grr, as is his need, and desire. Sacred. "Goddess, yes."

Sliding against him, eyes on each others, She presses Her lips to his, Her breasts to his pumping chest, and both strive, bend, meet and join. Both cry out gently, weather from the sensation, the delight taken in the other, or as further offering to some greater power, none could say. What was true, in all regards, was that as these two came together it was as was meant to be. More than two beings of such different origins. More than Lady and Her man. These were two flames that burnt all the stronger for being together.

New Faces, Old hearts

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pencil entry, dated 28/1/2009
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Tha day i met with Strong Gal and Snappypants at tha Shelter, and we talked about redemption, i met some new meat. A cybernetic chick who looked half-done, and a Feather lady. They seemed real interested in tha Library when it got brought up, so i told em to come around and look me up. So look me up they did. Tha bot-girl didnt seem ta have any memories for anythin other than that week, and tha Feather was cheery but not to sure of herself, like she's been sent here fer bad behaviour. They both seemed nice enough.

Redd and Tonks. Both real polite, and eager. I got tha feelin that Dee, who Featherpants Named "Double" Dee, on account of how her name gets spelt. (That and she's not a nice rack, i think, Featherpants has always got an eye fer that kinda thing. ) Anyways, i think that she "woke up" before she was done, whether she got abandoned or not, i dotn think she was quite "done". She's fine, she dont seem ta be bothered much by it, except she worries about how she looks. That and she worried about what it meant that i called her a construct ta someone. Worried that she weren't real, or worth anythin, cause someone made her. Spent a long while tryin ta do herself harm, cause of it, and doubtin her feelins. All come back ta that.

Tonks, Tonky, is a cheerful Feather, real eager ta help out, and do stuff. Young. Do Feathers get made, or born? Do they know time like tha rest of us? She's sure younger seemin tha Featherpants, younger than Tobe. Nice kid, i guess thats kinda their job, but. Bein nice, at least, early on, it seems. Turnin people inta pillars of salt and layin waste ta cities dont come till later, apparently. Seems she's got a taste fer fur, too, as her mate, Pensive, Pennie, a cousin of mine. Another good kid. He had his First Change leadin up to tha Full Moon, and tha Hunt. Tonky got recruited, but i think Pen is holdin back ta run free, fair enough too, we run a strict house, and he's new. Bitten new, i think. I dont right remember.

Then there's Kryss tha Scale Lady, we only got to know each other recently, i think she musta arrives whilst i was bonkers, so, i missed out on tha meet and greet. She's some kinda nagha thingy, snake lady. Demon of some kind, but more like a Shifter. She's interestin, like a Fanger, but, like a Shifter too. She can change shapes, but, she aint a were. She was born, or, kinda yeah, born, but tested, they got a culture about it, which is interestin. If it weren't fer tha scales, you'd think they were lika a Pack. If it weren't fer tha bein alive, ya might think they are like Fangers, tha way their culture works, and, endures. Old. Not just lastin, but, old, their elders are, so Scale Gal says.

Just more recent was Doc Basalia. Formerly of tha Ryders, Fleshie Israeli trauma surgeon. She runs real close with Stilleto tha K.A. Fanger. They work on bloodlines and specialised in tha infective agents of tha Fanger Makin Embrace and tha Lycan Change Gift. This is gunna be tricky. One of her first lines was ta point out that she dug chicks and "was that an issue". Can't say as it was, I prefer females, so we got common ground. Spirit Gal had a giggle at her, askin if it mattered if she -did- mind. Seems tha Doc prefers to be on top. She learnt quick that our Matriarchy is already strong. Strong and stable. The Triumvirate is joined again.

Dee. She's a real person, she's more than just flanges and wires and meat and programs. And tha Maker proved that. I figured if she was, and she hit on him, he'd get all indignant and cat-bum faced. So I told her it was a test. He did, she passed. She's a person. Lucifer's soul detector can't lie. Not if it means he has ta point out how much he needs it and how much he suffers. He's too wrapped in it for that. Perfect tool for tha job.

"artwork" as coloured by Grr in his Fleshie form

Chief Joseph

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a carefully torn out page of a book, pasted into the Journal dated 22/1/2009
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You sound like your forefathers, Coyote
xoxoxo, redd

Tell General Howard I know his heart. What he told me before, I have it in my heart. I am tired of fighting. Our Chiefs are killed; Looking Glass is dead, Ta Hool Hool Shute is dead. The old men are all dead. It is the young men who say yes or no. He who led on the young men is dead. It is cold, and we have no blankets; the little children are freezing to death. My people, some of them, have run away to the hills, and have no blankets, no food. No one knows where they are - perhaps freezing to death. I want to have time to look for my children, and see how many of them I can find. Maybe I shall find them among the dead. Hear me, my Chiefs! I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands I will fight no more forever.
Chief Joseph - Thunder Traveling to the Loftier Mountain Heights - 1877

Disciplinin tha Alchemist

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Pencil note, dated 17/1/2009
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We had just been dealin with one of Featherpants' meltdowns, and low and behold, tha Shadow-Wives were in attendance. In fact, we had a whole gaggle of Shadows come callin. Spirit Gal had been talkin to Featherpants before he blew and and stomped off yellin somethin like ""Fuck This Institute and fuck Toxian City, I think I'll tender my resignation to Omega next time she is here". Not happy, but, thats been tha way of things for a while. Since he went ta Hell ta fetch back Blue-Wife. Bad trade if ya ask me, but, love is a funny thing, it seems. I'd have gone into it, or looked after him, but we had a situation brewing, more like about to boil over, that i needed to see to.

Blue-Wife snaps aloud "quit that, I will sting you in the ass... I am warning you" I look over and see Blake, standin about like a lump, grinnin. Blue-Shadow reacts, and tells Spirit Gal she's goin ta back up her sister-wife. Blake is oblivious to tha trouble "oh lookie here imma shadow . . ." Blue-Wife frowns, then grins wide and asked "hows the skin rot?" Spirit Gal leans up against me and groans. Blake got the Shadow-Wives in a foul mood, and they cursed him with some kinda flesh eatin bug, gave him a right cankerous wound. We sorted it, tricky in a Fanger, but he just dont learn. "oh much better, i thought it was sexy how you spit in the wound" great, just what we need.

I saw Blue-Wife flick her tail out, lashin at him trying to jab him in the ass, he just chuckled "hey hey heeyyy now" So i get involved tellin him "Blake, dont antagonise our guests, or you'll be in tha same shit yer always fallin in" Tha Shadow, Mei pipes in askin Spirit Gal "isn't your lot supposed to be non-violent? And non-irritating?" Don't know where she got that idea. With all tha crap goin on in tha city, we've stepped up our security, and close quarters battle trainin, and its been one of our long standin operatin procedures to NOT be irritatin. Better intel gathered that way. Blue-Shadow steps up to Blake and talks to her wife. "How about we deal with him easily?"

Blake tries to squirm his way outta it nowm he sees tha trap hes stumbled towards "im just joking...i know who not to provoke.." Bollocks he does. Tha drongo couldn't negotiate his way outta a wet paper bag with both hands. Blue-Wife ain't mollified none "he's too dumb to be taught... just like a retarted puppy... all you can do is drown it in the bathtub" Blue-Shadow follows up with "make him drown himself its easy" What did tha dumb as say to that? Did he back off, shug it off no, more fuel to the fire. "i love it when you talk dirty, not that i need to breathe.."

Now Shadow Kytara decided to get involved "Hey Blue, is that dinner?" she smirked as she headed out. Blue Shadow was firin on all four cylinders by now, "Fill your body with cement so you can't ever come up you can just rot under the ocean" Doesnt sound like a fun plan ta me, but Blake just goads them along "give yall something to do huh?" Spirit Gal sighed heavy like and took my paw in her hand. "How are you, beloved?" She looked up at Double Dee and smiled. Blue-Wife shrugged "I already cursed his skin to rot off once... didn't seem to detur him. I don't actually mind... he's just another loudmouth like the rest of this city. No manners, no brains, no balls"

Figured i needed to call fer some order, so i told them "Shadows, behave, we'll look to ours, awright? Blake, shut the FUCK up" as he was comin out with "ya'll seem to have the balls" he grabbed at his crotch lookin between her legs

Kytara hadn't left after all, "Aww, that's a shame. Probably doesn't taste very good then." She chuckled as she heard me startin ta give Blake a dressin down. HE just wandered up to the window and looked out. Blue-Wife smirked and shook her head "like I said... retarted puppy", "Needs a brain transplant" said her Sister-Wife. He must have been feelin lyrical, casue he just started philosophisin "this city is humourless ..no wonder everyones so bitter..." grins, and walks off. Right into my trap.

"Blake, you start this kind of shit with them every time you cross their path. do you require me ta get tha chain of command involved? you will NOT keep provoking tha Shadows, as a member of tha Institute, do ya understand?" he gives me a "yes Praetor" as Blue-Wife calls back at me "should have let me leave the curse on" but i'm startin ta see red at his lack of sense. "you grinnin at me, boy? or do ya think ya'll enjoy what tha "or else" is? Spirit Gal and Double Dee ar etalkin, but stop about then. a still settled on tha Library.looks down momentarily. Blake looked at tha floor.

Blue-Wife looked at her sister-wife and fretted a tad "lets go hmmm? this place has too many memories" she nodded and said "I need to sleep" but i was on Blake like a pup on a bone. "because this is exactly tha kind of fucked up shit that tha other Factions spend their whole fuckin lives wadin through, and we got plenty better things ta do than puttin out tha fires that tha people who are meant ta be workin, but aint, are lightin in tha magazine, Do. You. Understand. Me?" i can smell blood as Blake bit his own tongue, eyes still to the floor, frownin. "and if ya intend to stay in tha Institute then you will put this shit behind you. Am. I. Understood?" He mumbled "i understand Praetor"

I kept on it, because lettin a bloodied deer go aint right. Finish tha job. "because as Coyote is my witness, if -i- can, after all tha fucked up shit that i have gone through with tha House of Fuckin Shadows, then you can pull yer fuckin head in, and toe tha line. Do we have an understandin?" He said we did, so i decided it was done "Good, dismissed. get out of my sight, and do somethin useful for Her ladyship." He scuttled off. Tha Shadow females had all pissed off too, leavin just me, Spirit Gal, and Double Dee. Spirit Gal wandered over and stroked my arm soothin me. Double Dee winked. I relaxed some, and unlocked my posture. I bleew a raspberry, with if ya never seen or heard is somethin else, from a Shifter in War-Form.

Spirit Gal smiled "One should never think that you are tame, Beloved. It would be a serious mistake." Aint that tha truth. I gave her a big, sloppy kiss, makin Double Dee squirm and blush in shock, and head out for a run, to go stomp some snow. Dickhead.

the Fang that bites no more

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Pencil entry 14/1/2009, faint blood smears
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Right. Time for some geurilla tactics. I can rememeber Ardere tauntin me when i was broken in tha head. Suggestin ta have me put down, stirrin tha pot when i needed ta settle. She was doin it fer tha joy of seein me squirm and suffer. Wasn't much i could do, cause she was right on tha money. Her and Pontifex, they were close, i gathered, these days. I dont know where Angel Lady had gotten to, but it seemed Big Red prefered darker meat with a lighter skin, these days. Not that i give a damn, he made his choice, and lives as he likes, servin no one but himself, and free ta worship tha thing that was tha Godling, Nareth.

But i hear tell that Ardere had been tradin harsh language with Spirit Gal over havin me fer tea. and not tha Russian Caravan, white and one, Tim-Tam's and lammingtons tea. Grr-tarter, Grr-sushi. She wanted ta fuckin eat me. tha idea really bothers me. Kill me? well, i cant see why, but, hell, shes a demon, who can say. Torture me? well, again, demon, its what they do, no reason i expect, other than i was broken, and she liked seein me suffer. Eat me? fuck that right off. i'm an apex predator. no one eats me! (well, not like that, anyways.)

As it happened, i came inta tha Library and caught Pontifex, and Spirit Gal, castin a bindin ritual on her, somethin about bindin her to his will. Right in tha fuckin Library. Made me mad ta see, but Featherpants waved me down. The did it. With wheelin circles of lights and swirlin stars. Durrin it all, Spirit Gal yanked out Ardere's last fang, just sorta reached in and plucked it, it was broken, i guess thats part of it, how to bind a demon, take its fangs. Or something. I found out later that Omega had taken the other one, yonks ago, and had given to Nareth. Turns out she still has it too.

Later on, a few days later, i chucked both Pontifex and Ardere outta tha Library, cause he was disciplinin her there, ta appologise fer beein a sandy vagina to Kit-sis, and to Spirit Gal. Discipline looked ta turn to torture, and me and tha Library got jack of it. Pontifex has been spoutin a lot of jibberish, and i wouldn't be surprised if hes got a few roo's loose in tha top paddock too, lots of that goin around. i dont judge him fer that, and frankly, it didnt bother me none that he was bendin tha bones of Ardere, but it bothered tha Library, and Nareth, and she was right, he didn't have tha fuckin right to be doin that, there. Lots of skanky dark holes fer that kind of behaviour.

Then, when i was doin a set at Haven, Ardere was there, workin tha pole, and i had a bunch of tha Institute lettin their hair down, i got an idea, and asked Spirit Gal if she still had tha tooth, she did, and she gave it to me. Once together, always together. So I got to work, and set about a Workin, ta give myself a bit of an edge on Ardere. Tha Rite of tha Ashen Tongue. Any time she lays paws on me, she tastes ashes. See how fond of eatin me she'll be once i set that up.

Tha Hunt, Tha Sacred Rite

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Pencil note, dated 13/1/2009
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Full moon last night.

I Hunted along with tha Pack.
I shared my kills with tha other Packless.
I returned, and found one of my mates.

The Moon will be pleased, and so would Coyote.

i think Spirit Gal was too, eventually, heh.

After the Hunt - OOC - not in the journal

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the following piece is a of a sensitive and sensual nature. If you may be offended, please stop now.

it is not a story as recorded in Grr's journal, but was written as a glimpse into his life, as seen by the Library Spirit and its inhabitants.
==================================

the Hunt had finished, and Grr returned, unclothed, golden fur splattered with flecks of blood and melted sleet. He padded past Denenthorn standing watch in the doorway, and towards Tonks, who offered him praise and thanks for looking to the needs of his less fortunate or skilled kin, dropping parts of his kill at the snow at their paws, teaching them, showing them the way of the Hunt. He nodded to Denenthorn and they shared a wry joke, and exchanged eye rolling at Lei's whining and moaning about how the Pack was pathetic, but at the same time, would not lift a paw to better them.

Grr had other things on his mind, though. in the warmth of the Library, his unclothed body began to steam, frost thawing and melting away, and he padded over to the fireplace to drive off the rest of the chill and damp. He looked for his clothes, discarded when the Hunt arrived, and he heard its call at the windows and door. Kicking them behind a chair, he wiped the remainder of the rat-blood off his paws and looked upstairs. Upstairs to the room beside Her Ladyships office. Upstairs where Spirit Gal was sleeping.

A yearning need was tugging at him, calling, and he slowly made his way up, bare paws making barely a sound other than the click of claws on stone and polished wood. Denenthorn walked to the hidden doorway and lay against it, guarding the returned Childer, but Grr, his thoughts were of the living, tonight. Passing the foyer, reaching the spiral staircase, he wound his way up, all four paws clicking and padding. Reaching the top, he padded close to the door, and checked it. Locked, but not to him.

Slipping inside, Grr padded to where the sleeping woman lay, her breathing was even, and the scent of sleep was in the air. Clothes lay draped over a simple chair and a pair of golden earrings lay on a dresser against a wall. Reaching the foot of the bed, he gently lifted the heavy quilted cover, and poked his head very slowly under. A movement, and a foot slid one way, Grr froze, then after a moment, continued to slide under the covers, an inch at a time, claws reaching under as he pushed his lean furred body into the bed. Breathing in the scent, he crawled further forwards.

For a moment there was stillness, then flesh touched fur and a another frozen moment passed. Stillness. Anticipation. The leg move again, access is gained, and taken. With the alacrity of a commando raid, Grr, clawed his way further up the bed, towards the source of the heat, the scent, agaisnt the sleepy legs of the stirring woman. She was waking at the sudden motion and sensation, but groggily, the press of soft warm fur of Grr's muzzle and neck ruff strangely familiar in her dreaming.

Suddenly, she realises something is happening and sits up, in a panic, and tries to pull away, but Grr is on her now, paws reaching up and pinning her thighs. She cries out, in the daze of sleep and panic, and a pulse of prana lashes out, in defence. Stunned for a moment Grr slumps in the bed, his paws gone slack on the womans thighs and she tries to pull away, but he recovers quicker then she expected, such was his need. With a grunt, he levers himself forwards, gripping her thighs again, and presses his muzzle forwards, and manages one long lick before stilling again.

A quick gasp as tongue hits its mark, and a pause, "Beloved? Grr?". The quilt is lifted and a light is switched on, the light plays over Grr's fur, dappling the caramel coloured fur, still flecked with blood. Blinking, dazed he tries a grin, but with his ears pressed back by the covers, and most of his muzzle wrapped by thighs, it is only his eyes that express his delight. Then his tongue speaks for him, in action rather than sound. Regaining his bearings, he pulls back at her hips, pulling her towards him, and himself to her. She smacks her palm on the top of his head several times, trying to object to the intrusion, the shock, but his insistance is . . . insistent.

"you startled me, Beloved, are you alright?" she asked. The only reply Grr made was a low rumble, an an intensifying of his licking and lapping, all along thigh and behind her knees, edging further and further upwards again, after the initial lick. With a pull of both his warm leathery paws, Grr presses to her mound, need taking precedence to subtlety, and laps vigorously, letting the curl of his tongue caress and part her, nose pressed, snuffling firmly and growls softly.

Before he got very far, Grr felt a firm palm press on his head, on the ridges of his pointy skull and the woman spoke. "Beloved, wait, what if . . .." Grr continued licking, tasting, but lifted his head, forming a crest in the covers through which he peaked. Looking over her belly and breast, covered though they were in a nightie, his eyes glinted in the shadow, even as his matted muzzle rested between her thighs. He had stopped, for a moment, then with a throaty and cheerful snort, and a shake of his head, he continued, nuzzling into her groin, pressing his nose into her mound as he parted her with his agile tongue.

She made a noise, pleased but at the same time, anxious. There was a brief moment, a decision was made, Grr could feel it. She sighed and pulled the covers over his head. Grr took this as a sign and continued, under cover. As he chased his hunger, she lay back in her bed, and with a chuckle resigned herself to having been caught. Grr's tail poked above the back of the bed, wagging he had hunted, but now he had far deeper hungers to satisfy. The quilt undulated as Grr went about finishing what he started, and soon the woman was making noises as animal as his.

As she lay back, trembling, gasping to catch her breath, hands grinning the sheets in now slack fists, she felt him, fur against her thighs, shoulders against her knees, and the huffing breath, waiting. There was a stillness in the night, no gunfire, or screams, only the faint faraway crackle of the fire in the hearth. The building was still, watchful, but calm. This was the feeling they shared, flesh on fur, entwined, longways, as it were, for a moment. This dreamy warmth ended abruptly with another cheerful snort that she felt for than heart, sending tremors of delight once more. It signalled a rush of motion.

With a paw on either thigh still, Grr gripped, pulled and twisted, lifting the slight woman and rolling her. In a daze still, she was momentarily confused and wondered what was happening, but she felt Grr clamber onto the bed. With a gentle but insistant shove, she was dropped first onto all fours, then knocked onto her elbows. The room barely had time to stop spinning when she felt Grr behind her, a press of fur to the backs of her thighs, along the curve of her back, and along the backs of her arms, as his own planted and wedged her in place. It began.

It began with a soft searching, a fast paced and shuddering entry, followed by a pause, and Grr hugged the woman close, still not having said a word, waiting for both acceptance and confirmation. He gained it as she throatily gasped "oh, Beloved, yes" No further signal needed, he moved within her, and they shook. She felt the burning need, tempered by a compassionate heart, struggling. Always holding back, always tender and gentle, she felt the struggle, and acted.

Growling slightly herself, she turned her head, and bit his forearm as it gripped the bed, wrapped around her own. This tipped the scale, and Grr let instinct loose. Wild and free. Hungry and inhumanly strong. The coupling became rough, and fast. Driving forward over and over, Grr had pushed the woman further down, so that her shoulders were on the bed, his paws against the sides of her chest at her armpits, so that his fur was brushing that delicate flesh. Need and hunger. Primal and passionate.

Something new. something she had never felt, and had only pondered. A pressure, a parting, a fullness, followed by a rush of heat, a shuddering throb, and a mixture of Grr's whining, whimpering and deep throated growling and utterances, words and non-words. Sounds that might have had meaning, or simply been the language of the gods. Then stillness, they lay together, joined, tied both physically and spiritually. the fierce heat of Grr's metabolism, combined with not only the rush of the Hunt, but of the fires of their passion, combined with the fire that lived within the woman drove away any chill in the air.

Pulses continued for a long, long time, and when the feeling of fullness did not abate, the woman turned her head, and kissed Grr, who was still crouched, supporting himself on digigrade knees and along his forearms. She could see that his eyes were half lidded, his tongue lolling out as he panted, staring into the Other, and with every third or fourth breath, they shared another pulse, and his nostrils flared. "Beloved? . . . Grr?" No answer, but the slightest contented smile and a rolling "hmmmmm" she felt throughout her body, covered in her own, personal furred blanket.

Slowly Grr stirred, and after many long minutes, Grr was able to withdraw, and did so gingerly, having regained enough rational thought to consider his partner. The moment he had, again, in a rush of sensation , he clambered off and behind his mate, and soothed her in the way most natural to him, with licks. This was almost too much for her to bear, and only after a moment, she pulled away, rolled to her side and grabbed at his fur, pulling him up to lay with her.

As they filled her little bed, limbs entwined, and touching each other, fingertips running through fur and tracing scars and tattoos, and claws tracing skin and curved, Grr uttered his first distinct words, and his last for the night. "Spirit Gal". They lay, sleeping or gazing, until duty and the ruckus of the city stirred them on another cold, Toxian winters day.

Nareth returns

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Pencil entrty, dated 12/1/09
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Tha Huntress returned! Well, no, not tha Huntress, that was clear from tha onset. This was Nareth, Childe of Omega, sacrificed in tha Pit to open a door to tha Godling, Labyrinth. Tha Huntress was a bold and fierce creature, without pity or mercy. Tha Nareth who returned from tha dead, from BEYOND death, was not tha same creature. Spirit Gal found her wanderin tha streets in tha snow, out by tha Hospital. I swore to Raven i would ensure Nareth made it over tha Wide River and found peace. But. She was beyond my reach, and i couldn't help her.

At first we thought it was a trick. Tha godling Labyrinth come back ta finish tha job. A ghost, a trick from hell. Wouldn't be tha first time. Then it dawned on me, that it looked the same, smelt tha same and 'felt' the same. She said that tha moment, back in summer when she had tha choice to go to tha Pit, die, and let Labyrinth into tha world, or not, "this" Nareth chose not to.

Some kind of time magic. Guess that kind of thing happens when ya deal with gods. I wonder when in my life i'd like a big reset button. Can't think of any in particular. Maybe runnin from tha 7RAR-L sooner, but maybe it all happens when its meant to. Maybe i make all tha right choices, when i make em. Fuckin unlikely. Too complex. I think i just don't notice.

She was back, but she didn't know when or where. Summer one minute, decided not to get ett at tha Pit, then she was back, in tha snow, weak and confused. Like tha rest of us. I knew. KNEW. That this wasn't tha Huntress no more. Same Fanger, same soul. Different spirit. This was tha Realmwalker, who chose not to be, rather than die and end her Hunt.

This was someone new. Old, still Her Ladyship's only Childe. Not tha Huntress. For Her Ladyship's sake, i'll see to her recovery. For Raven, i will make sure her soul finds peace. For myself? If she turns out to be Labyrinth, i take her fuckin head.

Journal

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Pencil entry dated 12/1/2009
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I can't say how good it feel to have this journal back. I need it cause it reminds me of what i've seen, what i've done, who i've met and who I am. Twice now in Tox i've lost my marbles, and having this little book, means i can read back, and put everything in order.

This last time, i lost this book too. Tha Messenger had it, stashed and safe. This journal has my life in it, I guess you could say. . .

Tails of recovery

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Pencil entry, dated 5/1/2009, starting off messy, and clears a little, as though writing is remembered
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So much has happened, two times tha moon has hid her face before I write this. Tha last thing I wrote, it was about dealin with tha Horsemen, in Spirit Gal and in Blue Shadow. Then it all went FUBAR. We’re talking serious Charlie Foxtrot. So bad I lost my marbles, I cracked, shell-shock. Its all a bit of a blur, I remember parts, maybe all of it, but it’s all a mess, I can’t say when what happened, and even workin out who said what is hard. Tha faces all blurred, and tha settin seemed ta change. Sometimes its Toxia. Sometimes its Timor, sometimes somewhere else. It took me back ta my old life. Like that’s what kicked in ta keep me alive, tha trainin. Guess those bastards in tha top brass of tha 7RAR-L knew their stuff. I shot tha Messenger. She took two ta tha chest, off-centre, but still. She had run me through, tryin ta snap me outta it, did a fair job, but I managed ta get off a burst. I shot one of my own and she was worried I’d be angry at HER. Kin, pack, Blood. I belong with these people.

But I been tryin ta put it all back tagether, so I went fer a walk, and visited tha Shelter, ta see how Strong Gal was farin, still on garrison duty, her mate, Snappypants not trustin her delicate self out on tha mean streets. Fer good reason too, but, been causin a lot of strife in tha Institute fer it. I know what its like ta be tha beast in tha cage, but at tha same time, sometimes tha bars keep tha bad out, as well as tha beast in. I rocked up and I heard them talking, as mates do. What they were talking about bothered me but didn’t surprise me much. All’s not been well in our Family, and we need ta regroup and tend our casualties.

Snappypants was sayin "normally Denny would be laying on the sidewalk bleeding his excuses just there but since he has served as your adopted dad I did not wish to present you with said spectacle. I will not stand insults like that though baby, I only hold myself back for your sake. Mine... and what he said was just rambling" ta which Strong Gal lisped bewilderedly, "But...his words.... were...untrue..... the words he said, He knows differently....." I padded in, scentin tha air, tha reek of tha plague rats was still gone, I been back since, I even did some food-prep with Strong Gal, taught her how ta make my spice cookies, but still, tha memories were strong, and scent is tha strongest. But they cleaned it good, and it’d been, well, over a moon at least. I smelt no one else, so I poked my head around tha corner Snappypants shook his head slightly "no baby, he does not know better, most of the people that are not us really don't know. they have not been in a similar situation themselves, either because it would be impossible for them or simply because it didn't happen. do not worry yourself with what they come up with and what ideas they have and don't ever think anyone but the two of us can have any educated opinion about our marriage and its state or blessing" he caressed her hair and tailed his fingertips down her neck and buried his head in tha crook of her shoulder.

I announced myself, never enter tha territory of another unannounced unless yer their fer hostile intent, casue they might get tha wrong idea. Good logic. Course, if ya ARE there fer hostile intent, get in quiet and do yer job and get out befer they know they’re dead. Better logic. "err, am I bein an intruder?" I asked, still in tha hallway, lookin around tha corner. Tha walls are thin, but still offer some cover, at least, line of sight cover. Strong Gal looked up and shook her head a negative. She cuddled with Snappypants and waved ta me. "You can come in...we are talking about Denny...who was not kind."

Snappypants looked over ta me too and grined slightly noddin a greetin. Old, he is, old like Her Ladyship, but not as quite. Here’s some more advice. Anythin that lives that long is GOOD at livin that long, that means they’re dangerous. Because there’s plenty out there that looks ta make ya dead, and they evaded, defeated or over come everythin that’s come their way, fer a LONG time. "no intrusion there Grr, has been a while since I last set my eyes on one of the specimens of your kind I do not mind having in my immediate surroundings" he grinned wider and gestures me over. I’m glad him and Her Ladyship make exception fer me. My kin and theirs, we aint exactly bestest of friends. Natural enemies some would say. Predators chasin tha same prey, just not fillin tha same niche. We distress them, cause we’re monsters that tha Fleshies can see, and it makes them wonder about tha ones they –can’t- see, like tha Fangers.

I padded over and hopped onta tha short heavy table in tha lounge, and copped a squat. "I been . . . .broken, in tha head, but, I’m better now, not best, but, better, and . . . I wanted to come and see ya both" even now, its hard ta make sense of it, and harder ta make words ta tell of it. Strong Gal said ta me, "Merry Christmas....and....yah...Merry Christmas." She thought a moment, then answerd her mate "I thought Denny would know better than his words." She asked me if I was well, but I was starin at tha kitchen, and tha floor as tha smell seemed ta come back. "I remember comin, err, before, tha . . .before tha , when there were rats" Strong Gal nodded to me and said "And we made cookies one day not so long ago....they were good cuz you don't cook them." Snappypants caressed his mate’s hair and kept tha ever-present grin on his face listenin to Strong Gal's description "not best you say but better. better is a whole step from worse Grr, glad to hear you are recovering and I hope it is speedy to that best part, mind you"

I looked ta Strong Gal, she’s delicate, fer all her strength, she don’t see things tha way they are either, but not tha way I did. She sees things better. Brighter. She sees new friends, where I saw a target rich environment. She sees a spot fer a picnic, where I saw kill-zones. "cookies, yeah, we baked . . . did you like them? its hard ta get all tha right stuff fer em, but, they're good solid food, tops fer tha body." I asked her, then pondered a bit, and offered my own worries about Featherpants. "Denethorn . . .he's been . . .real cranky, so, I guess we both been burnt by tha fire of his mind recently then .. ." Strong Gal smiled real bright hearin cookies are good tucker, but frowns again about Featherpants "He called Ethan vile things... and.... then he said our marriage was cursed and mentioned divorce!" Her mouth curls into a pout and she blinks wide-eyed before cuddlin Snappypants.

That’s fuckin bat-shit crazy, that is, I know Featherpants and Sanppypants don’t see eye ta eye on a lot of things, especially where mate and adopted pup are concerned, but, that’s daft and I couldn’t get it right in my head "but . . .yer .. .yer mated . . I, why? that don’t make no sense .. ." Snappypants smirked slightly but recovered his grin turnin to Strong Gal "he was either drunk regardless of what he said, or just hurt about some other matter. maybe his girl ran away or he didn't get a girl he wanted... or he was just miserable and could not see straight. really princess, do not trouble yourself with him at this time, besides I told him to stay away from you until he manages not to upset you with his presence"

Bombshell! That’s just fucked up. I know he’s been goin through some fuckin aweful times, he went ta fuckin HELL, and brought Blue-Wife back, at tha cost of parts of his soul, but, I seen him since, I remember it, with one of my kin, courtin, it looked like. He seemed on top of things, at least, getting on with it. But, Snappypants went on "how IS that recovery going though Grr and are there any issues you could need assistance with regarding the recovery?" I try ta answer, but I’m still flash-banged from hearin about what Captain Featherpants said. I look ta Snappypants and then ta Strong Gal, on his lap, in his arms "Mr Brit, you always put tha Corp . . .no, Strong Gal, you always put Strong Gal's good first, right, as she's yer mate?" She looked up at him and back ta me, then kissed him on tha head and said "My beloved always takes care of me, It's why I stay close to him."

Back ta me, and how im recoverin, "ahh, its all . . .my head, I was seein things wrong, like my past was overlayed on my now, and, Her Ladyship, she reminded me, she sang down tha moon for me" Snappypants nodded in response ta my initial question about Strong Gal's good, then tilted his head like he was tryin ta follow my story. I talk funny, at tha best of times, I been told. Go figure, my brain aint wired fer Fleshie thinking, I can do it, butm, it aint tha way I was born, I had ta learn. He asked me "she sang down the moon for you... would you like to elaborate on that one Grr?" turning ta Strong Gal he said soft like ta her "that sounds like more or less of a romantic story" Strong Gal looked up and her eyes went wide. "How can someone sing down the moon?" She touched her mate's hair more as she heard him speak, "Oh yes, please...I wish to hear the story."

So I started my telling. "well, when I was broken, I could talk, and think, but if I touched what was broken, I couldn’t talk, if I thought about it? I couldn't say, I was trapped in my head. but I could sing. my breed, we're called tha singin dog, we sing to tha mood on tha nights when she's lonely. I think in tha way back, we upset her, so now we sing to make her happy. so even with my brain broken, I could still sing my heart. Strong Gal listened, but looked up and asked "You mean the moon...is a she?" I looked over and could see she was strugglin to understand. I just rolled my head side to side cause it was a strange question but I remember, "yep, she’s a she, tha Lady Phoebe, or Mother Luna, she's a she . . ." Snappypants runs his hands down Strong Gal’s back "I think it is a mannerism but the moon is often referred to as a she. now if it is a female indeed or the big orb floating in space is called a she for example's sake is rather irrelevant. what is important is, is Luna has an effect on Grr and his ancestors it seems what the sung communication goes" then thinking on my words and turned ta her "there you have your answer" She looked out tha window ta see tha thin crescent of tha Moon that hung there, givin me back tha gift of Change, which, right now, let me wear my furm, and be warm.

So I went on "I sang and I sang, and no one understood me, except tha Spook, Dryl, she sang a little back to me, but, she had ta go away, and I couldn't give her enough song, folks asked me what was wrong, they told me I was crazy, tha nasty angel lady said they should put me down, they laughed, or cried, but couldn't listen to my songs. they HEARD my songs, but they couldn’t listen to them" Strong Gal blink blinked a few times, like she was rememberin and puffed her cheeks. "I thought you were just singing...." Someone wandered in and got a bowl of chilli and sat eatin. I went on with my story. "I know, its awright, Strong Gal, I don’t mind none, but, there were times I just wanted ta die, I was . . .trapped, and broken, and no good ta no one"

Snappypants looked over his shoulder and nods in his usual greeting at tha eatin one, then turns back to me "sometimes we have to break hard, so we can rise and know we are whole again but it is rather healthy not to have the need of that often..." he hushed to hear the story continue, so I did "I stood my Watch, like I was ordered, I guarded War, like it pleased Her, I stood and I starved, and I sang. Then War went away, Death went away, Pestilence went away, and there was just me, broken, locked in my head, singin fer help. then . . . then . . .. Her ladyship came back ta me, I didn’t rightly know when, or how, but, She was back, and She loved me. So tired, She was, so, I fed her, and she held me, and loved me, not cause I fed her, but because I would, because I will Always, Always, be there fer Her, as long as Coyote gives me breath and blood ta live, and, maybe longer, because tha Wide River hold no mystery from me"

Strong Gal ran her fingers through Snappypant's hair rememberin something . She buried her face against his hair, a few blinks and she pulled back ta look at her mate. Snappypants blinkd once at the 'fed her' part and looks my neck and wrist, then looks back down trying not to stare for too long. Don’t know what he was expectin ta see, he leaves his bites on Strong Gal, plain enough, but, I got fur, and I heal, real fast. "but I was still broke, even fer all tha love and care, fer all their guilty thoughts, and such, my head was broke. they fought, tha folk in tha Library, about how ta make me better. They wanted ta magic me, I had folks rummage in my thoughts, pokin and proddin, and all I could do was sing" Snappypants nodded letting his head hang a bit "sometimes people come with the best of intentions and all but examine you to death searching for an approach that really touches your being" he smirks and clenches his fist momentarily like he knew what he is talking about, from personal experience.

"but, eventually, Her Ladyship listened to my songs, she heard, and she listened and I sang ta her, a song of us, and she knew." Strong Gal asked me what I meant about them tryin ta magic me. As Bohny tha Feline came in talking ta tha new folks "they were wanting ta use magic, and MAKE me better, ta fix my head like they thought it should be, I only got a small brain, Strong Gal, and a thick skull, and it was pretty messed up in there, I don’t think even if they tried, none of em seemed ta get that I aint a man, dressed as a dog, im a wolf, given tha shape of a man. As Bohny chatted, then wandered off, I was watchin her, old instincts and memories bubblin up, she wandered off, and I muttered, watchin her tail go "she's got good breedin hips . . . .err . . ."

Snappypants tried to keep focused on my story with all the interruptions but I saw him cover his mouth after my comment about good breedin hips "that reminds me of something" he trails the sentence off "but don't let me interrupt" he looks back at the new lookin couple millin about who just got assigned a room "there might be an issue with the beds squeaking but there is an oil can under the sink" Tha fella chuckled and shrugged. "That's fine. At least it's a bed" I grinned and added "not fer internal use" which sent them both giggling and blushin. Tha female was real pale and not bothered at all by tha cold, dressed in, well, not a lot. Fanger, my guess. Strong Gal asked ""You may wish to find some clothing for your beloved....or she will freeze...or someone will think she is like um... maybe... yah..... she needs clothes before she dies of cold." But it sounds like they both knew who, and what, tha female was.

Back ta my story, like I told them, small brain, easy ta get off track, when their aint a task at hand "err, Sergeant Menjou . .no . .. no, Spirit Gal, my Spirit Gal, she saw somethin I was lost without too, and she, she helped me, so much, she took me, or, showed me tha Path, at least, ta tha Forest. tha First Forest, tha Great Wood and, I , we, we went there, I took her. I ran, I RAN, through ta trees, in tha wild, oh, Strong Gal, tha feelin, tha wildness, tha purity, it was . ... primal. I hunted, I cast off all my army stuff and ran barefurred and hunted." Strong Gal keeps listenin ta me, as she directs her charges about and I can see she’s obviously followin what I mean, which is good, we connect more often than we don’t, I thinkwhich is odd ta think, sometimes, I’m all fire and earth, and she is water and air. I keep goin "I killed, and brought my kill back ta Spirit Gal, and we ate, under tha forest sky, we shared my kill, she's, she . . .we're mated too, I’m very lucky ta have tha both of them, they, I need them, tha fire, tha air, tha night, I need them both like fire needs wood and air, like it needs dark ta shine."

Strong Gal gasped happily, "you married Joah????" I just rolled my head side ta side lookin at Strong Gal, she was real excited by what I said, but I didn’t quite know why. Snappypants blinked like he was wonderin how he would explain. I tried, "I walk tha Path with her, wherever it leads, I took her ta tha Wide River and froze and burned fer her, and she'd do tha same. i shared my kill with her under tha open moon, does that mean we're married?" Snappypants gets a real nervous look in his eyes and looks from Strong Gal ta me and back a few times She looked thoughtful fer a moment then said "Well.....if she is your beloved...and you are hers....and you love each other...and are going to stay together...and are dating and god approves, I think it means married....yah?" She looks to Snappypants fer confirmation. Snappypants intentionally looked away checking tha soup and cookie supply before hearing her reply. Yup, fear, ha. "well, I would say that is rather accurate... if all of the above applies at least" he looks over to me biting his lower lip "congatulations then" he worked hard ta give me a happy face, but something was worryin him, not about me and Spirit Gal, but about how he was gunna explain ta Strong Gal tha details, I think.

"err, ta, mate, its nothin new, ya woulda seen me holdin her down when her and Strong Gal here got lust-dusted a whiles back." Strong Gal asked, "Lust-dusted?" and turned, rubbin noses with Snappypants and still playin with his head fur. "well, yeah, there was somethin tha two of ya got exposed ta, somethin that made ya beg fer kisses, and cuddles, remember?" Snappypants reminded her too "when you trashed Deb's bike and Joah and you were rather intensely asking for cuddles and kisses after getting exposed to that stuff in dust form" Sorted. So, I went on "but, err, anyways, Spirit gal reminded me of tha wild, and that let me heal, she made tha big step, and took herself in with it, and put herself at risk ta help me. . .. she, she cant walk between worlds on her own, and, well, she had only hope that when we got there, I wouldnt eat HER, but, love is thicker than madness, yeah? and she healed my spirit there. and in time, we came back here, where my Family is," Strong Gal turned beaming at Grr. "So she saved you....." Nodding, she beamed again and lisped at me "Beloveds do that for each other."

"that she did, Strong Gal, and so, I came back, still broken, but only in tha head, my spirit was mine again, and Spirit Gal was mine again, and that made tha world a better place. but, I was still broken, and I still was trapped in my head, and that’s when Her Ladyship listened to my songs. she listened as I sang of War, tha horror of it, tha pain that comes when ya cant leave it, and at tha same time, tha love I have fer Her. I sang Our song, and that’s when she KNEW, she thought I was askin ta die and be like Her at Her hand, at first, ta be unmade and then eternal, but, that aint it. I wanted Her ta know I would Always, ALWAYS be Hers. fer as long as I have breath and blood, fer as long as my debt ta Coyote lasts, and beyond. And then . . .then . . She sang to ME. She sang, ta ME."

I could feel myself startin ta cry. Big scary werewolf, big tough dog-soldier. Its ok, aint nothing wrong with havin emotions, I am wild, I am free, and holdin that locked up aint good, "She sang of peace, of tha end of War, sang of a long future, song of joy, and . .. She sang, ta ME". Strong Gal hopped up and dashed fer a paper towel thingy ta let me dry my face on, sweet thing she is, I got FUR, but, never poke a gift Fleshie in tha eye. She told me "She sang because she loves you...." Snappypants was tappin his figers on the chair listenin and focused real close on my tale blinking in surprise at tha tears, I saw his eyes open wide but he locked up shop not makin any move or lettin him express himself freely. Bottled up. Maybe that’s why he’s lived so long, but he said "and through this you started healing on the inside again?" I nodded at him, and went on, with hardly a blubber. "She sang down tha moon. Strong Gal, that’s what my kind do, in tha cold of tha night. when we are alone and empty, we sing, and tha moon listens, and comes ta kiss tha ground, and we sing to each other, and find our mates. She sang ta ME. and yeah, She reminded me, She let moon touch ground, and I . . .I .. . un-snapped, with her love, and Spirit Gal's"
Strong Gal goes soft in tha eyes, softer, even, I guess, and "oh’d" softly. She nods understandin and said, "I'm glad you are getting well again." With a glance to Snappypants, she lisped, "I would perish if my beloved did as well."

He looked reall worried fer a second there again, and I aint quite sure why, or I wasn’t at tha time "that is a touching story Grr and it is good to know there are those that care and will go out of their way to reach for you" I thought I needed ta say more though, cause tha tale wasn’t done. "I . . .I almost killed Spirit Gal, ta free her from tha Thing, I burnt with Sacred Fire, and it worked, fer a little while, I took her ta tha Wide River where the dead go, and nothin can die, and . . .it wasnt enough. then tha Things took Her Ladyship, MY Omega, and I stabbed Her, pinned Her through tha heart to tha wall of tha Library, thats when I snapped. thats when it all went crazy. thats why tha Library kicked me out. But, they came back, and they came back fer me. I wasn't left behind again. I wasn’t left in tha crater. with tha bodies, in tha blood, in tha mud" I started ta loose it again, I remembered tha siege at tha Firebase, tha Indo Felines comin over tha wire, tha barrage, tha whistle and tha fire, tha blast, and tha pain, and what came later, in tha hospital . . . after they eventually found me. I musta been starin off fer a while, I realised I was scratchin at tha scars on my chest, that poked through my open jacket.

Strong Gal asked Snappypants "Is this why you do not wish me to go back into the library?" Snappypants stays silent regarding Brit's question for a while then responds "the events Grr described or part of them were definitely a fragment of the reasons I did not wish you on the road alone during those days" he looked back ta me "as I said, not best is fine as long as you are on your way to best and better is a good waypoint towards that". he nodded over to the newcomers "welcome to the shelter" I snapped back tat ha here and now "but they did, both of them, and all my Family, they all loved me, needed me and were there, and now, now I’m better, not best, but better" I looked over my shoulder and waved "g'day folks, warm and safe in here, food in tha pot, chilli taday, its good" then blinked, shook my head and grined "see, some things come natural, some things, tha things close ta my heart, take some doin . . but yeah, im on tha road ta redemtion . . ." Snappypants repeats rather mumbled "redemption" he mouths the word slowly and goes absent minded for quite some while. I looked Snappypants right in tha eye, noddin "I speak true, Mr Brit, I only had a short span, but I need just as much as those with a longer one, and I think ya understand, too, better than most"

Strong Gal asked me "Grr...is...um....the library safe again?" one of the neew folks perked right up and asked where it was, and I told Strong Gal "far as I know, if Blue Shadow aint bled anywhere, I . .. I need ta talk to tha Spirit, yeah mate, its my home, and Strong Gal here's . .. err. Brit's . . OTHER home" She goes on, telling tha new folks "there is a beautiful library...." She looks to Snappypants and back, "But I cannot go there....these days It has a pretty fireplace...and it is warm.... We used to canoodle in front of the fire place way lots....it's very good place to canoodle." Snappypants took a while to respond and then waited for a moment until there was a silent span again looking back at me "I reckon such a thing has nothing to do with the time we have been given but with our drive for it, that can build up rather magnificently in days and weeks and months and doesn't need aeons. I understand you well. maybe better than most would think, Coyote" he turns to Strong Gal and his previous expression fades into a warmer one. looking over at the couch he grins slightly "good we have not found any rat pieces there in a while"

He called me Coyote, too, fer all his stuffy ways, and bein a Fanger and all, I like Snappypants, he is true ta himself, and sees deep. "a critter's gotta eat, and, tha Felines all seem ta prefer fish in cans . . ." Strong Gal lisped, "It would have been like your dream buffet then...cuz they all exploded from the inside out...everywhere." She looked at tha walls, ceilin, and floor. Snappypants shruged in memory of that "whether it tasted good or not, that sight was rather appalling. even the sight of hundreds of chicken exploding uncooked all over the place is not rather good for appetite" he shook the image off "good thing the chilli smells better, too" he points at the pot on the stove. We talked a bit on tha best ways ta make use of city-meat, burgers and peanut satay, they were my favourite ways. Back ta Strong Gal’s question, I told them both "ha Library is safe. though, too safe fer some, these days, tha Library Spirit was well rankled that tha Horsemen could out-strip Her fer power" Strong Gal nibbled her lower lip and peeks at her mate again. She puffed her cheeks slightly and looks thoughtful, then shaking her head, she said, "I'm glad...it is safe again."

Snappypants gestures goodbye tat ha new folks, I think they will be stopping in at tha Library soon, seemed, clever too, we should look ta recruit em, if they last long. He looked over at Strong Gal like he was half keepin track of what she just thought and not said. I wonder how close their bond is, they seem ta know each others minds pretty close "maybe I will take you again sometime soon"

I grinned and shook my head as they left "kids .. .ha . .. was I ever that young? hell, im still probably younger even . . " Strong Gal nuzzling Snappypants, smiled sayin, "I'd like that....to go again with you...." She smiled real warmly at the thought and cuddled playfully. Then ta me, she said, "I'm glad you are well again...better.....I would have been very sad.....very sad....if you would have lost your way...." Snappypants added "or if you had perished..." he nods several times after the statement. "after all, you are very set to your sense of duty and no-one can really keep his track constantly without exception, you are rather of the reliable sort when you are not in the worst state, just as long as it is good, better or best" he caresses Strong Gal's hair slowly "we should do that soon"

"well, we'd like that, Strong Gal, Mr Brit, we'd like ta see ya both there, and yeah, Kin, Pack, Blood. Duty ta all three" That got her thinking, and she puzzled over my Words. Tha motto I learnt as my first words. "Kin... Pack.... Blood. Kin is family? Pack... is...... um Blood.... like sharing as I do with Ethan?" Snappypants blinks up at her question and looks ta me with a slightly amused grin on his face "interesting question I would say, though I think the initial meaning was meant to be a bit different" So I tried ta explain so she’s understand. "kin, thats my own kind, tha other shifters, Pack, thats family, like you . . . and blood, that’s, those I would fight for, shed blood for, and beside, my brothers and sisters in arms" Strong Gal, sharp mind she’s got in there, asked me a real good question, something that’s hard ta explain ta civilians. "what is the difference between family and blood?" I give it a shot, in terms I think she’ll follow "Family, is all of those I would protect, who protect me, my future, my dear ones, my Beloveds"

Snappypants coughed unnecessarily to conceal the plural form of the "Beloved" word like he was hoping it went unnoticed, then nodded "family is important to any animal, including humans mind you" he didn’t seem to exclude himself from the animal description and nudges Brit with the side of his cheek, that’s good, that’s what I hoped, and expected ta see, that’s why they are good tagether.
"Blood, are those I respect for their strength, and their sacrifice, their fulfillin of duty with their bodies ahh, yeah, not tha same . . .that, that’s what I would call Pack, in yer case, Strong Gal, you and Mr Brit there, a pack of two." Snappypants grinned wide and repeated me mouthin it slowly "Mr Brit" he turns to her and nudges her again "you see, I am your pack" he looks back to me "you see, I do only work in a pack that big, I could not have a larger pack than that" he looks back ta her "nor will I ever need to" She wonders fer a moment "That is not very many... Perhaps Gweneth is part of the pack." She looks to him and shrugged, "When she is near.... she came when it was important for her to be here Maybe two....is enough... Beloveds rather than a pack, maybe." Ahh, see, this is what Snappypants was wonderin over. "I understand that, its in tha nature of most two-legs ta make a small Family, but, well, I was never like that, I was born in a litter of six, my kind, we'd have big Families, lots of uncles and aunts ta look ta us, and care fer us, but, in tha zoo, there was only us . . ." Strong Gal muses some more. "I only had Pars...then....Denny and the people in the library....then...Ethan." Trailin her fingers through his head fur, she lisped, "And....our marriage is not cursed....and....we will not divorce....... and..... Ethan will always be my beloved...and my one and only. Denny is not usually unkind."

Snappypants shifts a bit uncomfortable in the sofa "Gwen is like adopted family but not pack, it is more like a child, that now is old and is not supposed to live at home anymore staying out there to hunt and be on her own" he shrugged and looks to his mate "you like beloveds more? beloveds it will remain" he shakes his head again "stop thinking about what Denny said, he was just rambling, baby" This is my cue ta tell em how I felt about tha two of them. I was reall worried, when I first noticed Strong Gal, well, becoming Strong Gal, but, I think I see what and why, now "I think yer marriage is one of tha best things thats ever happened in this city" and I can leave it at that.