OOC - A Grr Song

i have it on good authority, this is a "Grr Song"

Blue - Angie Hart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slxcyKObrm0

do any others spring to mind, gentle readers?

A Soldier's Christmas (poem)

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a tattered and torn page fallen from Grr's paw as he sleeps alone beside the fire
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A Soldier's Christmas,

Michael Marks

December 7th, 2000

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight;
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight;
The sparkling lights in the tree, I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep
In perfect contentment or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eye when it tickled my ear;
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near;
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold;
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light,
Then he sighed and he said "It's really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night.

"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line
That separates you from the darkest of times;
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

(section missing from Grr's copy, due to damage)

"I can live through the cold and the being alone
Away from my family, my house and my home;
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

"I can carry the weight of killing another
Or lay down my life with my sisters and brothers
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To insure for all time that this flag will not fall.

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least
Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

"For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

full piece with two extra verses can be found here

(http://vets.appliedphysics.swri.edu/mmsolchr.htm)

--unfinished entry--

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Pencil note, dated 24/11/2008, it is unfinished
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this is gettin beyond a joke, im not sure if i can keep tha Institute tagether all by myself like this., We're playin host ta tha fuckin Horsemen of tha Apocalypse, two at least, and one is in Spirit Gal.

Featherpants is who tha fuck knows where recoverin still from losin his marbles and fishin fer Pickett in Hell, and her Ladyship is still outta town

I need their help, i'm not gunna be able ta . . . . . . . . . ..

Feedin Khali

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Pencil note, dated 24/11/2008
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Death glided up behind me makin the air cold as she came, she puts her arms around his waist to embrace me. Deaths embrace ain't nothin ta be mockin or even scornin "You do not like me much, do I give you too much work Ferryman? I thought these forms would have pleased you at least, my brothers and I are enjoying the city though we lack two vessels still". Tha Spook fidgeted. Good reason too. I stood real still "i dont answer ta yo or yer brother no more" Death breathed on my neck the cold air of what she is, like ice cubes, slippin over me. "You are mad at us for taking your lover, you can still enjoy her as she is now with my brother in charge. Much more fun that way". Death fuckin tutted me like a pup, slidin her hands down my flanks "You do and you should, you can not break such things Ferryman. I continue to reap the souls of the dead for you". Some times it takes a primal force ta confront a primal force. So I Sang. I sang slow and low to Blue's Rider

"O, Death, Won't you spare me over til another year
Well what is this that I can't see
With ice cold hands takin' hold of me
Well I am death, none can excel
I'll open the door to heaven or hell
Whoa, death someone would pray
Could you wait to call me another day
The children prayed, the preacher preached
Time and mercy is out of your reach"

I finished I said to Death "you took my sister-lover, you took my sister-lover's sister" Death said "It is fate" fuck me. How do I argue with that? I said "i aint sayin it aint Fate. i'm a servant of tha Change, i KNOW Fate. When you see your red brother, you tell him he knows my heart. i know tha role i have ta play" Death embraces me tighter, I could tell It was enjoyin the warmth of my fur, of my life. "Your role is what I say it is, their role is what I say it is. I have that right, and this vessel grows hungry". I answered It back, with what I could say was tha authority of my office. "but i am what i am, and you and your kin have taken from me and my Family" Death said "I will take from where I see fit. There is no distinction" damned Thing. It don’t, it can. It will and it did, so I said "but i dont answer to you or your red brother no more, i answer to tha Laughter, but i still walk tha Path to yer River. i will not hide that, or my duty. I got still, desperate so I asked It direct. "what do you WANT?"
Death rested her chin on my shoulder simply listening to me, "The end of all things, it is our duty and purpose after all". Shoulda expected that. So I said "ask your Red Brother the debt i have to pay in Yer and His name to tha Laughter." Death said "must I do such weary things?" interestin point there. Avoidance. They may not be here on official business, unsanctioned action. We can use that.

That don't get Spirit Gal back though. So I said "I owe nothin to tha one that took my Spirit Gal, and i will rile against that one forever, it is in my nature, my kind are excused from Its grasp, for tha most part. and i HATE IT" Death huffed a little turnin her head to nibble upon him, Death fuckin NIBBLED on me. "Ferryman stop babbling and feed my vessel". I squinted and looks at Deaths eyes, I said "burgers, or cookies? we got LOTS of rat right now, swimmin in it . . ." Death giggles in my ear, "This vessel feeds on sex, I smelt it on her before I took her".I squinted and looks at Death Seein Blue's demonic form, knowin she was trapped in there, and now Tha Thing was tellin me it was starvin. I Watched with dispair and compassion, "Khali-rama, Khali-ur, Khali-Bhavatarini. if that will appease you." Death pressed her body closer to his rubbing slightly as she purrs low, the air getting colder around her. "You disappoint me, you can not tell me you do not find this one attractive"? Death slid her hands down the front of my pants, "Then what is stopping you Ferryman? Feed the vessel". Holy Fuck. Literally. Tha Little Medic wanders in but from tha look in her eye I gather she feels she should aughta wander back out. I said "nothin stops me but desire, Khali" I leans in close so I could tell It, personal like "and you got coooold hands" I started sniffin all over Death face and shoulders. She hardly smelt of Blue Shadow, more like dust and old bones. Not my idea of an awesome scrumpin partner, even pretty lookin like It was in Blue Shadow's skin. Death purred tenderly, her tail waggin, so I could tell she was takin in the femine side ofthis body, she was rather enjoying molestin me Tha Spook was seethin with a confusion, poor critter, I figured she got no understanding of what was happenin. I traced Blue's shoulder with a clawed fingertip as i sniffled her, a hard look in my eyes as I studied It and how it responded to me. I looks over at tha Spook and asked tenderly do you know what Khali is?" Death whispers softly to him in that not-arabic they talk as she swayed her hips slightly.

Tha Spook nodded an anxious "yes", and I swayed with Blue, tracing her skin with his clawtips, intricate swirling patterns, dots, "well, little Spook, this ya see before ya is an aspect of Her". Tha Spook begins to whisper, "no, no, no" as Tha Little Medic bit her lips, worried about my proximity to tha demon. Death shivered slightly, her eyes closin to the tender attention I was give, "It is appropriate that I took a demon to live in, specially one that needs a certain food source hmm” I nodded sadly as I swayed entwined with Death, continuin ta trace patterns on her arms, back, flanks and any exposed flesh. I had a plan. Tha Spook 's voice cracks, above a whisper for the first time in her memory: "Our God who is in Heaven - hallowed be thy name. " I said "Khali the Black, Khali the Hungry, Khali the Reaper, Goddess of Death, Sex. . . . . . .” Tha Spook goes on, "THY Kingdom come, THY Will be done - in corporeality as it is in ethereality. Gee ye us this day our daily food, and forgive us our sins as we forgive the sins of those who harm us." I flicked my wrist to find purchase on an edge of cloth, then pulling it free. Death bit me on the shoulder, she kept her voice low and purrin as she directs her words to Tha Spook "It is his will that I am here". She reached her hands up under my shirt her claws trailing through my fur, tracin my scars, "His will". Tha Spook chants "Mother! Jai Ma Kali! Kali Ma! Siavea!" I was gettin close ta what I was wantin ta see, I said "are you feeling this? is this what you need for your vessel? Tha Little Medic watched on anxiously as Death replies “full feeding I believe requires copulation” whilst Tha Spook sings "Shanti prava prava, om shivaya!" I think maybe she was startin ta be faced with what she was MEANT ta be, I said "and what does your vesel think of that? we aint exactly close . . .” Death said “I do not care what the vessel thinks, tell that one to be silent or I send her to where she belongs” I distracted her by tuggin away more of her clothes befer turnin my muzzle towards Dryl "dont you get yerself fried . . . . i know what it is that i'm doin, tha Gods require offerins, and tha vessel . . .Blue Shadow, she dont deserve ta starve because of this, Spirit Gal neither, and i fed her too . . ." Damn Death stuck its boney mit in sayin “the Ferryman is so giving to the poor things we enslave, her hunger batters me. I have never felt what this is before, it will be new to me” Poor Spook, she was all but beggin me ta stop. I traces more shapes into the back and flanls of Blue with his claws, pressing hard enough to raise whelts but not yet break the skin

Death drew her hand to his chest, she nibbles along his neck. "Make her bleed, that is not wise I know what her blood does". I offered tha Spook a sad smile and told her "i am a Shaman, Little Spook, i have a Sacred Duty, i cant pick and choose how i play my part, Tha Goddess gave me tha strength, Coyote gives me tha Will, and if not me, then someone else, someone who's soul aint prepared, and they might not fare so well . . ." Tha Spook was weepin, tryin ta make head or tails outta this. She’s lookin about like she was tryin ta find help. Death thought about what I had said, “Could always try Delrith she loves so much, what a tear it would be for him. Once again for him to be betrayed” I looks right at Death’s eyes as i griped her tight and pulls her close growling "dont think i aint fergot that, neither, this blood sent me back ta Timor. This blood is madness and death. Sex and madness." Death slid herself around to face him kissing him on the nose, "Line of Belial... Lord will not be pleased with this but I however am” I griped Death so tight that my clawtips began ta work through tha fabric and into tha skin "not be much use to ya if i was a screamin comabt vet again, now, would i?" Tha Spook collapses, and Tha Little Medic bends down ta tend her, as best she may, with soft words. Death lifted her right leg hookin it around me, the spikes on her thigh rakin me, but not doin me too much grief, "True enough Ferryman". Lickin her lips she gave a low and fervent moan, lettin it course through her body in a tremor.

I feel all these conflictin things, Blue is in there, back-stabbin, poison spreadin, Shadow Demon without a conscience. She’s locked in her own body, bein toyed with like a meat puppet. Spirit Gal’s heart-sister. I can feel my expression change from anger to compassion, to despair and resignation "i do this as an offering to tha Goddess, in Coyote's Song.” I offer my blessing to Life. To Laughter. There is no life without death, no death, without life, and both sides of tha coin must be honoured. I pulls more of Blue’s clothes free, as Death draws me closer to her, "You are an odd one Ferryman, always have been". She pushed up my shirt to bite at my chest, tracin tha scars that brought me ta her service in tha first place, her tail wagged slowly in tha air around her cold but now full of the energy she needed. I said ""do what thou wilt, and that shall be tha whole of tha fuckin law" and with that, I lifted my shirt, so It would feed and be gone. I bared tha deep and unnatural criss crossing of deep scars running over my furred belly, chest, back, up his left arm and into my waistline. Death lingers over my form staring at it, she licks over every inch of me she bites upon trailing each of tha scars I bear from her callin. She paused in her actions and backs away from him, all of a sudden"That is enough". Her cheeks were warm despite the cold she produced, she was shakin from things she never felt before it was overloading her. "I will take no more, I can not".

I think I called its bluff. I said "do my scars offend ya? they are tha badge that binds me to you and yer Red Brother. they were His gift ta me, and as i lay bobbin in tha Wide River, i came inta my callin as Guide of tha Dead. This is tha mark that bound me to ya both.” Death puts a hand to her face, "They do not offend me, I had not counted on the vessel feeling so much". I pulled my shirt back on and covers up tha scars. Seems maybe It bit off more than it felt like swallowin this time around. Now, I’m not fond of braggin, but it put a glow in my pants ta think that Death-as-Khali had had enough before it’ shad gotten inta my pants. I said "i would never let my Family starve whilst i stood by, whole and fit. and tha body you have taken is tha sister of tha heart to my Spirit Gal, my sister-lover. i offer to her that what she needs, i do this fer Kin, pack and Blood” Death shook a little takin the last strands of lust from around them, "It has been many centuries since I took over a coperal form, I do not need your lecture on family. No matter I will get accustomed to it and use it to its fullest". I look Death in Its eyes and make my point, I was talking ta Blue. “well, maybe im tellin HER that”

Raven's Song wanders in from the front, makin her way down the stairs to the lower seatin area. Death shifts her weight on her feet, "One of yours is here".
I nodded and finished fixin my clothes as Raven's Song halts, her head snappin up as she peers toward the sound of the voice, her gaze shiftin immediately to me as her body goes tense, eyebrow quirked. I looked up her feelin sad, tired in tha eyes "g'day Raven's Song. i been sharin a sacred meal with Khali here" Death giggles as she bounced past me, groping my groin fondly before soddin off. "More like starters", she moves for the door her shadow being dragged behind her bound and tied. It screamed in protest but, silent. I said "if ya see tha Little Medic, Wire, or tha Spook, Dryl, tell em i'm awright, will ya, they were aweful worried fer me soul.” Raven's Song 's eyes narrow as she repeats. "Sharin'?" she looks toward Death, wary and cautious as though making ready for near anything. I sneered at the passing of Blue's body. Death said “Next time Ferryman” I said "knot you” don’t get much more personal than that, really.

Raven's Song watches Blue leave... then turns her head to peer over her shoulder at me. "Are you... Are you alright?" No, I aint awright. I just fed tha enemy, one of tha things that sotle my Spirit Gal away, but I did it fer a reason, and I learnt more about it cause of that. It gained something it could get anywhere, I gained something it’d never let me know otherwise. I said "seems i'm too much beast fer It ta bite off in one helpin, is all. Blue, tha real Blue, she, err, feeds on passion, fuckin . . .Death that Rides needs ta feed its prisoner. i was tha warm body it took a first shinin to, mostly ta spite me i figure, or more likely, ta spite Blue Shadow. sacred duty of a Shaman, Raven's Song, ta partake of tha Great Rite, and honour tha gods and That . . . . embodies Khali, as well as holdin Joah's heart-sister captive. it got its passion, and then had enough. kept my pants on, if thats whats botherin ya?”


Raven's Song said “They've got other ways of feeding. I may be chaste but I am familiar with tantric. What concerns me is that you're feeding the very thing we're going to need to combat. Yes, she's your friend, and Joah your love but, right now, neither are themselves and... weaker is better... at least from what I've learned." She got quiet a moment, like she thought se’d probably spoken out of turn. "But, my strength is yours. I gave you my oath. I'll do what you ask."
I shakes his head " i dont think they need tha body strong fer them, they got all tha power they need" I paused and looks around, then stops, and quickly looked back at Raven’s Song "yer chaste? as in no breedin and scrumpin?” I looked where Blue went "well, fer me, err, not bein ever been a Fleshie, its natural as livin and feedin, and ya know, gave me a wee chuckle knowin i was offerin life ta Khali, see tha symetry there? i think, one day, Raven's Song, ya'lll find a mate worthy of ya. i'm a pack creature, i believe in tha sanctity of a matriarchy, and sustainin Family.” Raven's Song said “Khali is the mother Goddess. The Hindu equiv to Gaia, Nature Goddess and who I... we... Wiccan give knee to.” I nods to Rhaven " not tha kind mother ya might be thinkin of, "Khali the Black, Khali the fierce, Khali the Hungry, Goddess of sex and death, the Jackal Rider”

And I made her buck.

tha Spook and tha Medic

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Pencil note, writen in a strained, messy hand dated 24/11/2008
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Tha Little Medic nudged me as I stood by tha fire, dryin off and tryin ta get warm. Tah fire is still stinkin, but more like a funeral pyre now, rather than a charnel house burnoff. Tha Spook whispers "hello" to her from the shadow of tha fireplace, tha Little Medic waved back. I looked from tha Little Medic to tha Spook "g'day there Little Medic . . ohhh! you've met tha Spook! ripper!" She made a face, guess it’s a cultural thing, and tha Spook blushed, I think . . Tha Little Medic scratched her head. "Th-the who with th-the what now?" and I waved to Tha Spook to come closer, in a relaxed fashion, she fidgeted... but creept closer...and tha Little Medic rubbed her nose and inspects Tha Spook. "W-who's she?" I can feel tha Spook strainin to appear as relaxed and friendly as possible, and at tha same time is fightin ta calm her fidgetin.

Tha Little Medic grinned a little, which is good ta see. Tha Spook gave her funny lookin smile back. I think she's been practicin. I said "well. thats actually a hard question ta answer, but . . have ya asked -her-?" its always good ta treat folks who can talk like they can answer. Odds are they will. Tha Little Medic said "Uh…oh…wh-who're you? P-please …err…uh…m'am…miss…" I could tell Tha Spook was thrilled to answer, she gets a bit more "here" when she's feelin good. She creaks an answer "I am called 'Wraith' by the Institute's scholars - " I gave Tha Spook a conspiratorial wink. Tha Little Medic nods. "N-nice to meet you… uh… Wraith…s-so w-what are you?"
Tha Spook blushed deeply and went on, "The Praetors have determined that I am composed of the incorporeal essence of 81 creatures, mostly human, all victims of the Toxian catastrophe." Tha Spook went on ta say how she once believed that she was only a piece of forgotten paper blowing in the wind. She has learned that she is, in fact, a corporate entity and a real Girl. She finished up grinnin proudly.

Tha Little Medic nodded. "T-that's wild." Tha Spook thought so, too she even showed off her new skill of winking at me. I think she's soft on me. Can ghosts get tha hots? If they do, can they -do- anythin about it? That would suck, if they couldn't. I like her. I was happy ta ask her if she'd like ta go on tha books we couldn’t ger her ta sign nothing, but, intent is everythin. Tha Little Medic said “S-so are you a g-ghost then?” Tha Spook answered in her Real Girl voice "Yes. A ghost, as in Lewis Carol's fiction, or as in folklore." Tha Little Medic nodded "N-neato, th-then I won't e-ever have to s-stitch you b-back up!" Tha Spook shows Tha Little Medic her skill at becomin unseen. She asked me”H-how's your nose Grr? G-good, fur growin' back”, whilst grinning at tha dissapearing act. I said "err, yeah, i, um, dealt with that . . . had a bath and everythin . .fur dont regenerate, but it does grow back, one day, when she's ready, i'll be happy ta ferry tha Spook across tha Wide River, but only when she's ready ta go” Little Medic took it in and said “Eat l-lots of c-carrots and f-fish.” I guess its fer tha healin, and give my coat a nice healthy sheen, as opposed tat ha nasty greasy one it gets walkin about Toxia.

Tha Spook trembled..... but then sorta paused like she remembered to say "thannnnk you verry much" in her out-loud whisper. I guess she don’t feel like goin away anytime soon, and as long as she aint sufferin fer bein on this side of tha Wide River, I’m happy ta have her here. She kinda idly wondere outloud if anyone else has noticed that FLeshies look lovely by firelight, and added that she had become a huge fan of Agatha Christie, I don’t know who that is, but I think it’s a book thing, and also that there is a secret entrance into Hell on the other side of the rocks on the south beach. That at least was interesting info. I nodded "err, actually, i shifted ta Fleshie and back as i swam, fur came back then." She then wondered aloud if carrots and oranges taste the same. Tha Little Medic nods.. and then did the old “yawn and stretch trick and stuck a hello-kitty bandaid on me they have a bit of a giggle and I asked "does that me look more or less scary, ya think?"

Then tha mood dropped, no fault of those two, their sweet as. Tha Little Medic asked “H-how's Joah?” Tha Spook reported in her Real Girl voice that “Joah is immensely open, and far too close to the ether for such a fragile and sensitive person, and that she hoped with all her heart that Joah was well, right now, wherever she was”. I swallowed several times, fightin back bile and rage, grindin my teeth fer a moment before answering "Joah . . . .is still in tha grip of Pestilence, the first of the Four Horsemen . . . . we're workin on how ta ger her back" Tha Spook frowned and started weepin invisible, immaterial tears of worry! Just cause ya ain’t got no body don’t mean ya cant cry, it seems. Tha Little Medic asked me “Grr, i-is there anyway t-to ask f-for help f-from more powerful s-spirits, like, l-let them possess you?” I nodded slightly, "maybe thats tha best way, but, we're still lookin ... its a high cost deal, tha bigger tha Spirit, tha higher tha cost, and tha Hosemen . . .well, they embody tha four disasters, thats pretty heavy.” Invitin something strong enough ta go toe toa toe with them, might be worse then them anyways. I could call Coyote, but, Coyote aint one ta oppose Nature’s course. Cheat it, maybe, trip its minions, but not stop anyone doin what their path is.

I frowned and looked to tha poor, sobbin Spook, and offered a frownin smile, then brightens, and rummaged in my bag. Tha Little Medic said “E-emotional l-li'l gho-ghostie aint sh-she?” Tha Spook dodges herself, as others dodge bullets, she’s plenty shy, I want ta open her up, not shut her down, so I had a thought, hence tha rummaging. I said "i got somethin . . . .when Pestilence was here makin that goddess-awful stink, i thought of ya, and remembered somethin
I pulls out a box of nag-champa incense, and reached into the fire, whish still bubbled and pops with the smell of burning meat, lighting the ends of six sticks, and stuffed them into a wrinkly but still good orange, letting the aromatic and decidedly sensual smoke rise up swirl about "there, good smells” Tha Spook 's face relaxed, and dreams entered into her from the beautiful smoke, and she ceases to think quite so much...slowed down and got calm. I said "i remembered that Fleshie cultures offered burnt offerin’s ta tha spirits of tha departed, because they cant eat or drink, but can smell smoke”.

Tha Little Medic scratched at her funny little Fleshie nose. "Y-y'know, I'd b-be willing t-to offer m-myself as a v-vessel, s-since I don't h-have any supernatural p-powers." Another one willin ta lay down their very soul fer tha good of others, I reached over and laid a paw on her shoulder. "yer real brave ta offer that, Little Medic, we'll see what tha plan is, and i'll be sure ta remember ya volunteered . . ." Tha Spook desolidified a bit, and becomes full of Empty, fadin inta tha Other and makes a Silence. She looked at me real soulful like, well, kinda, deep, and looked less afraid. Tha Little Medic shuffles her feet. "A-also…uh…s-so wh-what exactly h-happens t-to the spirit wh-when the v-vessel dies?" Tha Spook musta seen many, many different sorts of outcomes. I can see a look in her eyes, guess she knows first hand, a lot of ways. 80 or so, at least. I answered "err, ya mean in general, or . . .Pestilance?” Little Medic said “I-if there is a g-general rule a-at all. I…g-guess in general” Tha Spook supposed that the lucky ones are just poured out, “like smoke from a cup” she said, but that most, though, demand ta be taken ta Hell and tortured for some reason. I never understood that, neither. Unless they knew deep down, they weren’t bein true to who they were. I said what I knew "well, if all goes well, ya get sent along to tha Next Place, through tha Other, or ya get another turn here, and get reborn and recycled”. Tha Spook told us she has never, ever met another ghost. It seems an unusual fate. I have, most of them were wretches, and needed ta get taken over tha River.

Tha Little Medic asked us “I…uh…h-have you ever r-read R-romeo and J-juliet?”
Tha Spook got excited and told us had and loved that Shakespeare guy. I frowned "thats tha same guy that did Henry Vee? about intertribal conflict and betrayal?" We got some of his stuff at Basic, teachin us about tha Glory of War, and leadership. “once more unto the breach, my friends, once more” and “we few, we happy few, we band of brothers” and all that. Stands my fur on end, even now, when I’ve given up tha Warriors Path fer tha Shaman’s Path. From a Fleshie who’s been dead hundreds of years no less. Wacky world. But I guess he wrote other stuff too. Tha Romeo and Juliet story was about two tribes at war, and two kids in tha middle, or something, not important ta our trainin, so it got missed. Tha Little Medic nods at tha Spook. "Y-you k-know th-the scene w-where J-juliet t-takes the f-fake poison, and t-tricks the family into th-thinking sh-she's dead. M-medically s-speaking i-it's possible t-to k-kill someone, th-then bring them b-back.” We’re both noddin at this stage, tha Spook remembers something in tha story, and I know ya can get flatlined on purpose and brought back. It’s a good way ta do deep surgery on a Lycan, our healin makes cutting on us difficult.

That’s tha procedure, but I think I see her plan, I asked "to shunt tha bugger out, is that what ya mean? Tha Spook told us she’d gladly trade her murky existence for the safety and happiness of Joah. Tha Little Medic went on “S-sometimes i-its used t-to d-diagnose v-very serious illnesses…anyhoo, y-yea, t-to trick i-it so t-to speak.I've a-already b-been working on s-streamlining th-the procedure, s-so it's only a m-matter of t-two injections.” Droppin Spirit Gal in tha Wide River was one of tha hardest things I’ve ever had ta do. I coulda lost her right there. Freed her, but lost my Spirit Gal to tha lands of tha Dead. Thinkin of doin it again made me swallow heavy and get tha shudders, fur ripplin over my whole body. Tha Little Medic said “S-something w-wrong?” Tha Spook wonders out loud “where the line between Death and simple not-being lay.” And then she saw me and looked afraid I was getting angry, but, no, just sad, real real sad, cause I’d failed my Spirit Gal, failed ta free her, almost, so close, but, no. I tell them what I could manage ta get out "i . . . Joah . . .she did die, a little, and it did leave her, but . . . . it came back and i did it, well, i did it my way, which is a messy way, maybe yer jabs would be better..” Tha Spook purposefully immersed herself in tha luxurious smoke and forced herself to stop having thoughts. Poor little thing. I wish I could do more fer her.

Tha Little Medic nodded, understandin my fear. "F-first off, d-don't worry, I w-wasn't thinking a-about d-doing this procedure on Joah, i-in all likelyhood h-her body is m-much too weak now t-to withstand it. B-but th-the spirit i-is more vulnerable w-when it i-is out of a b-body right?" I told them “yeah, it sure didnt like havin been booted” not sure if that made it weaker or just didn’t fulfill its mission parameters. Maybe it needed ta be in a body ta meet some criteria or something. Who tha fuck knows. I just want it outta my Spirit Gal, and outta Blue Shadow FOR my Spirit Gal. Tha Little Medic nodded and went on. "W-well, I w-was thinking, I c-could g-give someone i-instructions f-for the injections, th-then try to c-contract…err… get possesed b-by something that m-may help, a-and if i-it gets out of c-control, y-you could d-do the p-procedure. Or a v-variation on th-that plan…I d-dunno, it's p-probably a stupid i-idea.” That sounded ta me like a good plan, risky as all fuck, and really, I didn’t know if it’d make a lick of difference, but it was a solid plan. I said "thats not stupid at all Little Medic, we need ta work out what ta do ta keep tha bugger out once we boot it, and yer bootin system sounds better than tha way i managed it. which was fuckin touch and go” Tha Little Medic shrugs. "S-since th-this sort of th-thing…uh…really h-hasn't been done b-before, I v-volunteer.”

I looks over at Tha Spook and in a flash of inspiration rolls his head side to side curiously and reaches out to touch her with a claw tip, it goes in, and wafts about a little, I think I tickled her. I said "who's gunna know how ta do it right, if its you?” Tha Spook was probably thinking similarly.... she said she’d not be endangered, and can have flesh to receive injections with. And that she volunteers.” That spun me out. She could have flesh? I wonder where it’s come from, or was it just that Aether stuff that tha Messenger conjures from tha Other. Tha Little Medic went on “A-as I said, I c-can simplify th-the procedure s-so it's j-just a matter of t-two injections, I'm s-sure you, or even someone e-else could do that. A-and I h-had a thought, i-if the sp-spirit somehow m-manages t-to k-keep you from injecting m-me, I c-can do the f-first dose on a t-time release system, s-so if it grows too p-poweful, I'll die a-and it won't b-be able to harm you.”

I said "yeah, i can give jabs easy enough, hell, i was medic trained too, i even do a straight stitch, if just a little deep . . .” Tha Spook squeeked out that she’d do anythin, anythin, to help. I smiled warm like now, for the first time today at my two friends "you two are tops, ya know that? this is a big fuckin ask, we live, err , exist, in hash fuckin times, and yer both willin ta step up ta tha crease, thats tops, it really is” Tha Little Medic shruged and stared at her feet. "N-nah, I'm j-just reckless and a b-bit psychotic…" I said "ha! but yer OUR kinda psychotic” Tha Spook looked hopeful that the plan would work, and was just painfully desperately willing to take whatever risks might be required. She looked thoughtful fer a moment and said " 'Doktor' means 'speaker of the truth' Library taught me this” Tha Little Medic looked slightly nervous. "Y-yea…f-funny…I'm k-kinda a l-lier…" but I wasn’t letting this slide, praise where praise was due, they always told us that in tha Army, its good trainin technique fer Lycans, at least. I said "and you, ya wee Spook, yer real brave lookin ta go toe ta toe with these things, we all know it was hard enough fer ya ta peep up in tha first place too . there truth, then theres Truth, ya know . . . .. .” She blushed, goin a deep grey. Tha Spook blulshed and nodded fast

Tha Spook said she saw “Truth in fiction every day”. That she has been taught by Library that some Truths are only discoverable in Myth, and Fancy. She pledged herself to the endeavor, and carefully whispers "I will save Joah if it means not-being, or even Pain!" Tha Spook told us she remembers too well that she would still be a scrap of nothing blowing around the graveyard if not for the Institute. " Joah taught me what I am, and Rhaven showed me that I belong. I belong to the Institute." Tha Little Medic said “I-it's t-true they are wonderful, b-but you belong t-to yourself.” Tha Spook smiled and and hugged herself and said "Gift for Family." Family. This is my Family. My Family has been stolen. I need to save my Family. I need my Family to come back. I cant loose any more of my Family. They may die, but I cant LOOSE them, like tha Huntress. Never Again. I reached up and held Her amulet, rubbing the curved bronze glyph in my paw. Were was Her Ladyship? I need Her. Where is my Feather-Brother? Can he feel it when I rub my amulet? Do I feel it when he calls to his?

Tha Little Medic scratched her nose again. "Y-yes, I g-guess you c-can belong t-to a family and b-belong to y-yourself at th-the same time." Tha Spook smiled and it looked like she was feelin completely new feelins. I’m glad of that. I nodded, thinkin slow "and tha best is when ya can give yer all and have it all accepted, with love, fer what ya are" I kept rubbin Her amulet and looked at the empty chairs by the fire, then out tha window. Their chairs. I stood by tha fire, touchin my cushion and Spirit Gal’s cushion with my paw. I felt cold. Like ice dropped inta rum. Poppin and creakin. All I could say was "Kin, pack, Blood.” I could see tha Little Medic was getting slightly weirded out by my behavior, but said nothing. Bein a bad leader, spookin tha troops. I pulled myself tagether and said "we'll sort these buggers out, and get back our Spirit Gal, goddess damned Hosemen can get new riders” I even believed it.

Then tha cold of tha Beyond fell on us again, and Death was there. It said “Ferryman you speak ill of us” and Tha Spook recited " In the face without masks, Death is a woman." My fur bristled and I turned ta face tha Death that wore Blue. "get knotted, Thing.” I can offer defiance, I can offer hope to my Family.

But I know, better than most what will appease Death. Even a little.

Rats!

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Ash and blood smeared, water spotted entry dated 23/11/2008
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Tha runner that came from tha Shelter told us "Joah" wanted me, Her Ladyship or Denny ta meet her there, and that she needed a Vessel. Tha runner said someone named Brit was with her.
Tha Messenger said "Is probably a trap.." then as Raven's Song said "Brit?" I just yelled "FUCK" and Tha Messenger gasped "No.." I didn't wait fer nothin, pulled my mirror and did what i'd call a combat-fold. No checkin, no recon, just hopped tha Other in no-time. I flashed in ta tha Shelter lookin face ta face with my target "Hello Strong Gal . . .tha thing that look like Joah, is riding her body." hard intel out, I looked about and looked at her, fer Signs. Strong Gal nibbled her lip and said "Ethan hates bugs." She scratched slightly at a red mark on her chest near her chain. I went on "like a cheep version of what Labyrinth was, through tha Huntress Nareth." Strong Gal nodded and said "Blue did not look so good either...they are looking for a vessel..." I nodded, sniffin and lookin about. I could smell Pestilence. I knew its foul scent now. It was loose. I could scent Death too, a chalky, dusty smell. "no. they are both in our friends. They stole our friends bodies to be tha Four Horsemen." Pestilence was here. "and they can fuck. right. off."

Pestilence tilts her head slightly, her eyes hooded like she was day-dreamin. As she did, there was a skitterin sound, a scratching against the walls. I looked close to Brit's chest, well inside her personal space, and inspects the mark there. I heard Raven's Song come in lookin about cautiously, her body braced and tense at tha sounds; Strong Gal scratched more at the reddish mark. "Who are the other two?" Lookin about at the walls, she looks back to me. "If that is a rat, Ethan is gonna toss a hissy fit. He hired real people to do a toxic sweep of this place for living space."

Pestilence looks at me, mouth open, smiling, lips unmovin as handful of worms tumble from her mouth. "You want to fuck, dog?" tha whispers rasped. The scratchin in the walls got louder. I could hear it in the cabinets in the kitchen, echoing against the wooden drawers and panels. "Strong Gal . . .tha thing tha looks like Joah? its a Rider of tha Apocalypse, its Pestilance, its filth and decay, its undone tha stuff Snappypants paid fer" Tha Messenger walks around the corner, stopping as she see's the others. Raven's Song offered the young femal Fleshie quietly, " If they are, They're not reminants of what had been there. I'm doubting these are even natural... if they are." Strong Gal waved at Lia, “this ... this is Lia ... and she is way nice .... and .. .Lia, this is Grr ... and .... Rhaven .... and ..... that is Faye Li...." Lia said back ta her “I met Grr before. He saved me from a vampire!" Thought I recognized her scent, most Fleshies look alike ta me, ha, as tha sayin goes. Tha Messenger said ta Pestilence “I am the guiding light of death.. and I'll show you the way to yours, filth.” Tha kitchen drawers began ta rattle, the sound tableware clinkin, boxes knocked over in the cabinets...the scurrying in the walls.... I looked at Pestilence, ridin tha body of my Spirit Gal, as Strong Gal woulda said, one of my Beloveds. “fuckin is natural, fuckin is right, fuckin is natures way of makin more nature. you got tha right holes, Thing, but you aint part of nature,like ya said, yer before, so yeah, i want to, and you and me aint gunna. find a demon” Strong Gal was lookin real worried She whispered ta me, "you know Ethan is going to fuss....you know how he gets sometimes...." Raven's Song steadied herself, turnin in on herself as she drew tha Watchtowers, I could tell from tha energies movin around her reachin out to Tha Messenger and me with tendrils of psychic light.

Pestilence laughed. "You said fuck off, dog....I merely made the offer..." As it laughed tha cabinet doors popped open, there was tha sound of drawers bein pushed out, fallin to tha floor. A wave of rats streamed over the counters, around the counters, into the room...the air filled with their fuckin screechin and screein of claws on the tiles. I looked around "oh, nature's bounty . . . ." and I unfurled my new bull-whip and drew my little sword "stand back, meat comin up . . .” Lia gasped as she saw the rats. Palin, she backed up, Raven's Song drew a ward to her, a growin island in the chaos of writhin fur that seems to pile out of nowhere. Strong Gal blinked and looked from one to the other of us. She ran to grab Lia's hand and evaced toward tha little office so she is nearer to a door. Smart thinking, our Strong Gal. Tha Messenger stood her ground, glanced at Strong Gal briefly, showing a slight relieved smile, before glaring back at Pestilence. This was my dance. I spuns and whirled in a song of blood as from my crouch in a furious series of swings of fur and cloth, I sliced and diced tha rat tide with whip and sword. “Never. Pass up. Free. Food.” I was makin a mess. A big red and brown mess. They kept comin, mad in their sickness and hunger, and I kept cutting a swathe. Blade and lash, and little chunks of broken and busted rat.

Pestilence parts her lips, whispering something in that not-Arab language they use. As she did tha remaining rats seemed to collapse where they were, dead on the floor. The smell of rotting flesh begins to permeate the area. I massacred the rats. Pestilence upped tha stakes. Raven's Song continued to draw on the favors of gods and goddesses past, their names whispered in sweet tone under her breath. "Isis... Asate... Dianna... Hecatate..." but tha flesh of the dead rats, the ones that I splattered and the others who died at Pestilences biddin, began ta roil and ripple. The smell in the Shelter almost becomes unbearable.... So I
I stopped and flicked tha gore off his sword and sheathed it, then looks at Pestilence, and cracked my whip at her, snappin it in front of her face so that rat gore sprays her. Fuckin godlings. Least I can show my contempt fer their breakin tha cycle, by paintin them with their own wastage. I see Lia gaggin as she takes in tha scent. Then try ta keep her food down, she slapped a hand over her nose.
I stood amidst the whelter of my gory display and waved the others out "you others, who aint stood knee deep in tha blood of yer kin, out”
Strong Gal blinked in bewilderment, poor luv, she ain’t used ta this kinda SNAFU. She watched as the rat bodies piled up and at the first whiff, she brought her sleeve to her nose and blinked hard.

I saw Raven's Song grimace, trying her best to hold on ta tha contents of her stomach as she contues her chant, "Dimitre... Kali... Inanna." Again and again, she calls upon Goddesses and Watchtowers, buildin her Inner Self to send out in Golden auric waves toward me fer me ta take, and use, as needed. Bloody grateful fer that. No idea what Pestilence was gunna throw at us next. It just tilted her head back, acceptin the spray and smilin. She opened her lips, and tha expression crossin her was like she was is deep in passion. Maggots begin to drip out of her mouth, falling to the floor, rippling through the slain bodies of the multitude of rats lying at her feet. She opened her eyes fuly, looking at Raven’s Song, then at me, and laughed a sparkling, tinkly laugh. I coiled tha bull-whip and coughed, wrinklin my muzzle up, and again, I felt the light of Others reflectin through me, making my fur to glow golden. Tha Messenger glanced at the ones near her, "Come. We don't need it escaping." I slungs my whip over my shoulder and kicked a rat thigh off my paw. “we're gunna need shovels . . .” Lia gagged again even through she was coverin her mouth. Raven's Song 's head came back up and in lighter mimic of Joah's pose, her own in contrary bliss as her chantin continued, gainin in tempo; a sing song of a mantra from a soulful voice. Nice and all, but there mighta been something building. Plague Rats don’t bring much good. “out, all of you's out, this aint tha place fer plant-eaters” Strong Gal looked around at the couple of hundred of dead rats that were brought. Each of them in different levels of decay. "Um....how can we get them out of here....?" Raven's Song blinked, openin her eyes and noddin, backing her way out though still concentratin as Tha Messenger lightly tugs at her arm.

I tell them “shovels, Strong Gal, we'll need shovels but later, now, we need you out, or ya'll get sick” Pestilence bent low, pickin up the bloody corpse of one rat and rubbing it against her cheek. Tha maggots drop from tha little broken body, wrigglin away on the floor. Dropping the rat, Pestilence walked outta tha Shelter without a word. I try ta calm things, now It’s gone “Strong Gal, once this is over, we'll burn these and use tha ash ta make fertiliser fer flowers, hows that sound, nature dont abide waste” Pestilence lookd at tha Messenger as It walked by, saw her weapon and grinned. Tha Messenger glares back, "I'm coming for you."
Tha Messenger stood back. Pestilence stops turning slightly toward me. "Tilt at windmills, dog. Tilt all you like." I give It a hard look, seein if I catch a glimpse of Spirit Gal in there “till my debt is paid, you should know that, i gave my all ta two of yer kin, and i did it good.” Tha Messenger growls, knowing Spirit Gal’s still in there somewhere too. I go on. “ask yer sister how good a servant i was.”

Some fresh Fleshie chick wanders up and get slapped in tha nose with tha smell. stopin short lookin over the floor, " Oh My and i sleep here" I just opened my mirror and got out of there, back home to tha Library. Raven’s Song, and Tha Messenger ran on back after me. I picked fragments of rat off my fur and popped it in my mouth, chewin as I thought. Tha Messenger looks me over again, her eyes were still glowin white like her sword, "Did it flee?" and Raven's Song 's eyes and skin still glow with the light of Inner Self, Watchtowers ain’t something easily called or, as easily, put away. Raven's Song said “We... were up to our eyeballs in Grr's lunch. I don't think it went very far.” Pep talk time “yeah, i think we're startin ta piss it off, nice work, tha lot of ya” I finished picking big globs of rat off myself and moves to inspect the rest of my Family. Tha Messenger nods slightly, "It was.. right there.. but, so is she.." she released the sword back to the aether and the glow left her eyes.

“yeah one lob of a sword, problem solved, and . . .no Spirit Gal” I didn’t like tha thought that I might have ta do that, not thinkin in, not thinking of thinkin of it. And sure as fuck not anyone ELSE thinkin of it neither. Raven's Song sobered a moment, sendin out her Sight before calling, and thanking, the Cardinal Guardians and Goddesses alike... sending them back to their resting places. There as a feelin like altitude change, pressure let off. Blinkin again, she let herself to sink to the ground, trembling in exhaustion. Tha Messenger said “I will not take Joah..” I plucks chunks off Faye, popping each into his mouth nad chomps then away. I gave her a good lookin over, she’s been real stand-up through all this. Raven's Song said “I... I hope it doesn't have to come to that...”
It might though, if it comes ta that, better it were me. She’s make tha trip over tha Wide River better that way, I think, but I got tha feelin that tha Messenger knew what she was doin too. Somethin about that mark she put on my head, and tha Words she spoke. “it aint goin nowhere, if it comes ta that, i'll collect its fuckin head, and see her over tha River myself.” Tha Messenger nods slowly, "I'll go with you.." Raven's Song said “As will I.” I looked at them both shrewdly "you just might at that . . . " Tha Messenger said “You see why it's so hard.. accepting this..”

But I couldn’t let em all taste that cold water. I looked ta Raven’s Song, that bright, glowin gal, young and fresh, full of life and wonder “Raven's Song, no offence intended, but i think yer place is more in tha realm of tha livin. if i judge right. you dont wanna be treadin tha Realms of tha Dead.” I finish snackin off Messenger’s gore coat and moves to Raven’s Song next as Griff tha Righteous Fanger came in “good evening Omegans” Raven's Song gaze lifts ta meet mine "I'm not afraid to face my mortality. I told y'all, once, it's what I do with what I have that matters. I will stay behind, though, if that's what's needed of me." Tha Messenger said “I don't want to take her.. I didn't want to have to ever make that choice.. so I don't accept this, not what I am.” I was bein a bad host, but I managed ta get out ta Griff “not much fuckin good about it, but, hello” as Blake came in too. Raven's Song turned to Blake offering a warm smile. "Hey, boo." Tha Messenger turns, noddin a slight hello to Blake too "Hey.. sight for sore eyes.." Griff raised an eyebrow at me "Grr you look like you’ve been on one hell of a pub crawl" I was splattered with rat, burnt and charred from fightin off tha cold of Death with thermite, and still coated and matted with tha mud from tha Dark Jungle by tha side of tha Wide River where I took Joah, after Tha Thing tried ta end her ta fuckin spite me. Bastard. Tha Messenger walked up ta me, dusting herself off on the way sayin “The blood may wash away, but your blessing is true.”

“yeah, all tha best bars from Bali ta Beirut, Mogadishu ta Baghdad, i'm gunna go swim some, and get kinda clean” I bobbed my head in thanks to Tha Messenger, then puts a paw on Raven’s Song’s shoulder and padded away out the door and around the corner, too tired to walk up and down stairs. Bereft of my Spirit Gal, burnt by Sacred Fire, chilled by tha Wide River, then burnt by science, then frosted by Death Herself, then two combat-folds, and splattered in rotten scavenger as summoned by tha very Thing that stole my Spirit Gal and rode her body. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I wish Her Ladyship would come home soon, I need her strength and her wisdom.

I miss Featherpants. I miss Spirit Gal, I miss Her Ladyship. I need backup.

Second Horseman

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Ash and blood smeared entry, dated 23/11/2008
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I was still mud covered from bringin Joah back from tha clutches of Death. Spirit Gal was locked up by Tha Thing again, but Featherpants had yanked her off to some Other Place. I had been back in tha Library, tryin ta pick up tha pieces. I had given Shiny some PT, caught up with tha Messenger, and Raven's Song. Our Family was in trouble, and we needed ta regroup. We were missin Her Ladyship bad, but she was off on a tour. That meant tha role of command was on me. Not tha first time, but maybe tha most serious. Whilst Featherpants was off dealin with Tha Thing, and Her Ladyship away fer however long she was gunna be off, I had ta keep tha place together.

I was achin still from my burns, even though I'd gotten healin from Spirit Gal before Tha Thing took her again. More than that, I was chilled to tha marrow by Tha River. I could hear its song still in my head, it was callin me ta its flow. My tak there un-done, and tha longer task, my own journey on it, waitin fer me at tha end of my days. Nothin lives fer ever. Nothin that really lives, anyway. But in came Tha Thing that rode Joah. It jumped up tha mantle and begins meditatin, eyes roving from person to person below. Blue Shadow had come in a bit before and we had been talking about torture, how it was her thing, and I had argued it weren;t tha wolf in her that brought it out, but tha human. Wolves don't torture prey. They kill it and eat it after a chase. Harry, maybe, wound, yeah, but that aint torture, its tactics. Blue looked up at Tha Thing and grumbled, but all but ignored her fer a bit. It bothered ME though "beats me why tha Library dont object ta It, but She doesnt." I said, Messenger took a good look at It too, but It spoke at us "You mean the Old Woman in the Walls?" It smiled down at me, It looked so much like Spirit Gal's smile, but, not, tha eyes, tha eyes were wrong, I couls See It, and It knew I could. "you know who i mean." I said back ta It, I wan't in tha mood fer its games, in my home, with my Family, and our guardian spirit. Blue speaks up, a little confused. "There was this thing scampering around in here yesterday... where did it go?" I ask her if she means our spook, she blinked and looked surprised "is that what it is?" so I asked her if she was talkin about a wee ghostie.

Raven's Song was curious about it too, but Blue Shadow went on. "I don't know I never seen a ghost before... it was white and trying to hide behind things" Sounds like her ta me, Messenger agreed "I remember a spirit 'ere before. She 'ad a wand or a scepter some sort." I tried something, a touch of tactical mis-information "we think she was one of tha original Libraians, from before tha disaster. she's shy" no harm in sayin so, I could fix Blue Shadow up with tha truth later but Tha Thing couldn't help but correct me from stolen memories "Dryl is more of an it, really," she grinned. "Or rather, many its. It looks like a hairless she-rat," Tha Thing wearin Joah said mildly. "There are men and women and animals and vermin inside it " Blue Shadow looked up at Tha Thing "You.. where are the other three"? It glanced back at Blue. "Three?" she smiled and waved Its hand at the hearth. The flames began ta sputter as if dying, and a chitterin sound came outta tha chimney.

I looked over at tha Messenger and Raven's Song "tha ghostie is a she, whatever else she is, or what she's made of, she's a bein and she's real alone, poor critter, couldnt make it over tha River and now she's stuck her till she's ready again all life clings ta life. tha Other is a frightenin thing," as Blue Shadow snarled up at Tha Thing, "You are only one of four don't act stupid with me" Tha Messenger glanced at Blue and back up to Tha Thing, "If she still insists she's Joah.. she wont give us any answers.." I was getting more and more pissed, Tha Fire was a sacred gift, given to us through sacrifice and love, and it always burned ta offer warmth nad harmony ta all who came to sit by it. Blue knew it too and crossed her arms, "Joah wouldn't hurt the salamanders" but tha Thing only looked at Blue, grinnin. The sound in the hearth becomes louder, scuttling and clicking. The flame dies down almost too embers. To sets of eyes can be seen peeking over the logs, two tails siwshin in alarm, before there is a pop and the two salamanders vanish. Poor little buggers. "they've retreated ta their Other" I could see them go, at least they'd be out of Its reach there. The chitterin, whirrin sound was growin louder. Tha Thing looked at Blue, "You want to know where they are?" Raven's Song cursed low at tha treatment of tha Fire Salamanders and Blue Shadow, who was a practicing fire-caster, stared at the fire. I could see her gaze which was usually cold and hard was now filled with burnin hate. Her hands sparked with a few flames. "Fuck you, stop it you aint Joah. WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE YOUR SLAVES". She breathed deep controllin her temper, "Don't hurt the salamanders, this isn't how it was meant to be". I offered a prayer ta tha Sacred Flame, letting it hear my call.

That's when a stream of cockroaches poured down outta the hearth and straight toward Blue. Right about when tha Messenger asked "What do you even want?" I offered my paws to tha fireplace, and to tha cockroaches, letting tha magics flow through me. But tha Thing opened Its mouth, and more bugs streamed from outta her lips and dropped on the floor. "I want nothing...." the sound of many whispers echoes, Joah's mouth unmoving. Blue Shadow clenched her fists her eyes rolled to tha back of her head as her own fire engulfed her body in defence, "Grr tell it tell the Library to let me scorch the pests". Well, see, folks assume I control tha Library, I helped bring it ta Life, but its more like I got keys, but I don't drive tha car. It drives itself. In this instance, it didn't mind one but, and between Blue and me, we gave tha bugs something ta get hot under tha wing flaps about, and each of the cockroaches became livin fire, and got swept back into the grill, where they rekindled the logs Raven's Song gasped sharply she wasn't at all happy with tha bugs, me, I don't mind em, good scavenger food, fulla protein and crunchy too.

I did something I don't often do, I gave voice to my prayer in Fleshie terms "hear it well, oh yea of Gaia's children all life is sacred, and mark those that can call them for right or wrong, all can burn with the Sacred Fire". I looked up at Tha Thing "yeah . . . i been lookin inta you. Thing" Blue muttered somethin as tha flames moved but I had somethin else ta say to tha salamanders "stay away, little friends, for a while, till tha one who wears your Shepherds Skin is gone, and Phoenix's Child returns to us, tha Spirit Gal, in all her wonder."

Tha Thing stopped meditatin and leapt lightly to tha floor, landin in a crouch then stood quickly. Her eyes followed Blue, disregardin me. Blue looked at her cautiously, "Where are they? You know me you would if you know Joah". Tha Thing just reached out fer her "Sister," the whispers echoed. More roaches, now worms, and other creatures slithered from her mouth. Tha mouth I like ta kiss. " fuckin Godlings" then It rushed toward Blue, vermin spilling from her open mouth as she kisses her full on the lips. Blue flinched, bringin her fire back up, but all she got was a few sparks before it died due to the expendture before. She relaxed against Tha Thing, her eyes closin and the glow diein down. Tha Messenger gasped, runnin over and tryin to push Blue away from Joah. I knew what was happenin now. So I just stood by tha fire lookin at tha little flamin bugs brushin them back in with the shovel if they tried to make a run fer it.
“Messenger . . .dont, Blue knows what is comin.” I could see tha Messenger and Raven’s Song both strainin ta get in there and help, horror in their eyes, ta stop this Thing from doin what it was doin. Wasn’t till I saw tha bugs that I Knew. It all came tagether, though.

Tha bugs swarm over Blue, runnin through her hair, over her skin. Tha Thing embraced Blue like a lover, Its hand cupping her breast, her mouth seeking Blue's own. A stench of rotting carrion fills the room. I wasn’t expectin that. Blue wraped her arms around It takin what It offered, her hands roamin down Joah's back, her form dropped revealing what she truely looked like. I seen it a few times, when she slips, Blue’s Demon form suits her better, I think. I was never human, so I don’t got their prejudice about what “proper” people look like. This weren’t that ha time ta be admirin tha demon, we were bein visited by a Power. I held the fire shovel in the flames, waitin, it was getting hot, tha edge takin on a low cherry glow, and I was planning ta use that, if needs be. My two were still edgin close, wantin ta help, “Raven's Song, this wont be pretty . . . “ I said. She’s talented, but, not used tat ha horrors, yet, and I didnt want ta have her head broken by it. She kept watchein on, mouth agape and violet eyes still wide through her finge of hair. Shaking her head, she slides her gaze to Grr, her voice a hoarse, shocked, whisper..."...my strength is yours." She murmured softly.

Tha termperature in the room began ta drop noticeably, I could feel it through my fur, the smell got thicker as Tha Thing pressed into Blue, hands carressin her back, her waist, her hips. I poked at the fire, buildin it up with care. I didn’t take my eyes away from tha fire, but I was sniffin continuously and had both ears swiveled to the couple. I heard tha rip-tear of Blue’s shape-shift and heard her mutter something in a language I don’t know, sounded kinda Arabic, but, not.
Frost began to coat tha chairs and the smell of rottin meat and vomitous skankafied the air. Tha flames in the hearth begin sputtering and dying down, just a wisp of smoke coming from the embers. Beside me, tha Messenger started ta shiver. Fuckin Godlings. I squinted hard at tha fire, trying ta See if it was qushed, stilled or what and had an idea. "Messenger, in my pack, second pocket, left hand side, there is a can, get it out” Tha Little Medic crept inta tha room, and came up beside us as tha Messenger rummaged in my pack, and I could feel Raven’s Song’s energy building and slippin my way as tha Messenger hands me tha steel can. See, I was trained in breakin things. People, places, gear, infrastructure. I know how ta make things burn. I opened tha can tossed a pawfull of tha stuff inside onto tha flames. Tha Messenger is starin at me, and I hear Tha Thing in Joah take a step towards me as Tha Thing in Blue said “Do you really want to do that, hound?” That’s when tha fistful of thermite hits the fire, and burts forth in a flare of bright white light as it reaches a sustained 1200oC. I know my trade. I manage ta turn me head aside but I still winced as my fur singed at tha flash of heat, Joah’s Rider laughed at me but I get a soft hiss breaking from Blue’s Rider, the cold that emanates from her was the cold touch of Death. It would chill the bones of those who could feel it and I was still cold from Tha River. Her River. "Die fire... I tire of you". Fuck this shit. I flicked more of tha thermite in, eat hot science, godling. As tha flare hits, drivin back tha cold one burst at a time, I managed ta bark out “Fuck. Right. Off.” I could feel some of my fur catch. That’s when Joah’s Rider magiced tha can outta my paw and laughed at me. Tha hearth got cold. My fur went out. Small mercies.


I still had my eyes squinted shut, against tha sting and burn. I hear them kiss again as Death’s voice comes from Blue "Let them play their games, we have no use for them". Now I Name one, the others come forth, Pestilence said "Dogs who play with fire..." Chilled, twice burnt and defeated on my own turf I know I can’t fight them head on, but I can give them a piece of my mind so I growled at them a halting voice. Seemed I had burnt my throat too "you can leave my home now . . ." Death better get used ta it, Tox ain’t Rainbow-land not many here will be cowed by them at face value. “We are going, but I will return for you, Ferryman when the time comes” I crack an eye at that, shit. It Knows. Well, I guess It would, and I just took a bath in tha Wide River, how could It not . . . Tha Little Medic is fixin up some sort of lotion, on a cloth, lookin at me, I musta been a right mess. That’s when Pestilence tried ta stick tha boot in "You know the River...the one you love so well...." tried and hit tha mark. Bastard. “fuchhk offfghh. you khhnow nothhink of what i lovghhh” that’s all I could hear myself say, but they got my point. Bastards. All I could do was glare, still smoking, fur from my front all but gone, some skin blackend and cracked under that. I could feel tha Messenger there, and Raven’s Song. Tha Little Medic stepped up ta dab me with something cool and soothing,

The flame in tha fire continued to glow brightly, again but instead of the smell of woodsmoke, there is the smell of rats full of maggots, rotting fish, and vomit. It permeateed the flames...they started lookin and felt...wrong. Fuck. Tha Messenger asked me "What 'appened Grr? Are they both taken?" all icould do was nod, as I got lotion nabbed on me, and I started ta heal tha burns.
Tha Messenger clenched her fists and uttered a slow breath, "Damn.. it." Out in tha street I heard Pestilence speak ta Death "We are not yet whole. Our brothers have not come to the city, And the Sariel is a problem that must be dealt with." My nose was burnt bad and was bleedin from it, so I got Wire ta tend it first. I hyperventilated, then got still, and stoped breathin, trembling a bit and noded ta Wire who started ta tend my snout. Raven’s Song was feedin me healin too, which went a long was as well. "We must find the vessels" Death’s icy voice from tha street I could hear tha Messenger’s teeth grind and tha Little Medic patted me on tha back as I stood there tremblin. "R-remember to b-breath buddy." Raven’s Song asked "This has just gotten tenfold harder, hasn't it?"
Tha Little Medic keeps dabbin my nose with antiseptic then used some jelly ta sooth it. I whined at the touch, bit didn’t budge, or flinch or nothin, utterin a "uhn nuun" She gave me a bottle of sport drink ta have, and I guzzled it, that helped a lot. “i think they were ALL in Joah, now there's one less . . .” Raven’s Song catches on an idea “So, this... Toru thing... was Legion?”

Now, I tried ta get this clear in me head as I said it, and I think that it was comin tagether fer them too. “no, but i think they are goin fer Him, Her . . .It , , , next, i think thats what they were talkin about as they left. We need ta get a warnin ta Lorne, that they're Two now” my nose healed enough fer tha stink ta hit me proper then "oh, Goddess, what tha fuck is THAT?" like bein dumped head first in a market tip in Timor after a big weekend party. Tha Messenger thought we’d have been better if it stayed in her. It was in her, and jumped ta Spirit Gal, when we booted it. As much as I was tearin me up inside that it had taken MY Spirit Gal, as much as I wanted that cup ta be passed ta someone elses, I couldn’t wish it on another of my Family. I would rather kill Spirit Gal than let her be taken forever, and burn on tha Sacred Fire ta save her, but I couldn’t wish it on one of mine. Raven’s Song summed that up with “We couldn't have let that happen, Faye. You're Family... and besides that, if we had let them have you... you're the Messenger. I can't imagine how much worse things would have been. What good are you? How much of this would we have been prepared for without you? How many of us would still be standing if you weren't here to forewarn us, and lend us your help and knowledge? What good are you? You’re EVERY good.”

We all tended each others wounds, physical, mental and spiritual fer a bit, I told them about Pestilence killin Joah, and my trip to tha Wide River. Thats what it meant about "my beloved River" fuckin bastard. Tha Wide River is not somethin ta love, its somethin ta respect, if not fear. I ask them “tha Wide River . . .do ya know what that is? i'm not sure if i made that clear . . . its why they called me ferryman . . . tha old Greeks called it Styx, its somethin Lorne and me got in common, he can go back and forth, but it takes a Mortal ta be a Ferryman.” Tha Messenger shakes her head, at tha understandin, and Raven’s Song just looks at me funny "Wow... I swear, I had no idea what I'd be walking into when I stepped off that ship. The Ferryman... The River Styx. Every myth and legend I'd ever read... Wow." I kinda shrugged "part time job . . . . kinda like . . . . community service . . . . its somethin my kind has always taken a share of . . . tha Wild Hunt, tha Black Dog, Anubis, tha Hound of tha Baskervilles, its awright, Raven's Song, i ain’t no mythic figure, i just got a lot of hats, is all.” I think about that fer a bit, mullin it over in me head, and I tell them. They are Family, they need ta know, so I tell them. I told them my Name, in my own tongue “i am Praetor of Her Ladyship, Omega, tha Keeper of Eden's Soil who Burns with Sacred Fire, Her Beloved, Shaman and Four-Leg born, Coyotes Left Paw, Psychopomp and Watcher. “ I think I kinda was in shock, from tha cold, from tha fire, from witnessin all of this. Loosin Spirit Gal. Maybe that’s it, I wasn;t strong enough ta save her, and I needed ta tell myself who I was. So, in chant, I told them. “Once packless, once Pack Scout Leader, Once Pack Hunter Leader, Once Pack Hunter, AWOL and Kinslayer. Platoon Sergant 7RAR-L, 7RAR-L Special Ops- 0571, Specimen 071239 "Gabriel", Grr. i am Grr. i am. Kin. Pack. Blood.” I got real quiet and just stared at tha fire. swayin, hypnotised by the fire and nods slowly at Wire's words "Well…g-give me a c-call if y-you need me."

Raven’s Song said to us all, "I stand with you, and proudly." Then I hear, far away like, Tha Messenger sayin “Blood..GrrBrool.. I 'ave an odd request.” That snaps me out of it a bit, my name, my full name bein pronounced, even by a Fleshie throat “I... 'ave a blessing to give you.. You're kind of tall, I need to see your fore'ead. Ah.. I need.. uh.. a knife..” I crouched and both me and Raven’s Song pulled our blades, me my sturdy KA-BAR, her, a little punch dabber outta ber boob-cleavage."Um... you didn't see that." Tha Messenger takes her little one, and I sheathe my heavy. She tries ta fob it off . "Um... mines a letter opener?" She’s was never good at lying. Tha Messenger took a breath, obviously a little troubled by somethin, but cleared her throat and held the knife across her palm a moment. Then with a slight whimper sliced across it. Then she settled tha knife on the ground, dabbin her fingers in the blood. She traced a markin on my noggin, murmurin something under her breath, if it's even words. A word. An Old Word, of Power. She looked at me a moment and the mark she left, then handed the knife back to Raven’s Song. Somebody came boltin in to tha Library, and I stood up from my kneelin, a Fleshie female she blurted "Someone named Joah needs... Grr.... Omega.... or someone else to bring a vessel. Anyone named Grr.... Omega... or.... Denny?"

I just start ta see red. “i BET she does, yeah, i'm Grr, fuckin gready bastards.” She said “Grr... someone named Joah needs you” Raven’s Song asked where as tha Messenger tended her cut hand. Tha Fleshie said, still pantin “Shelter, By the hospital. With that nice girl, Britt.”

All I could think was FUCK. I didn’t even think ta run, I took out my Mirror, and went through tha Other. Thinkin “Not Strong Gal too . . . . .”