tha Spook and tha Medic

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Pencil note, writen in a strained, messy hand dated 24/11/2008
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Tha Little Medic nudged me as I stood by tha fire, dryin off and tryin ta get warm. Tah fire is still stinkin, but more like a funeral pyre now, rather than a charnel house burnoff. Tha Spook whispers "hello" to her from the shadow of tha fireplace, tha Little Medic waved back. I looked from tha Little Medic to tha Spook "g'day there Little Medic . . ohhh! you've met tha Spook! ripper!" She made a face, guess it’s a cultural thing, and tha Spook blushed, I think . . Tha Little Medic scratched her head. "Th-the who with th-the what now?" and I waved to Tha Spook to come closer, in a relaxed fashion, she fidgeted... but creept closer...and tha Little Medic rubbed her nose and inspects Tha Spook. "W-who's she?" I can feel tha Spook strainin to appear as relaxed and friendly as possible, and at tha same time is fightin ta calm her fidgetin.

Tha Little Medic grinned a little, which is good ta see. Tha Spook gave her funny lookin smile back. I think she's been practicin. I said "well. thats actually a hard question ta answer, but . . have ya asked -her-?" its always good ta treat folks who can talk like they can answer. Odds are they will. Tha Little Medic said "Uh…oh…wh-who're you? P-please …err…uh…m'am…miss…" I could tell Tha Spook was thrilled to answer, she gets a bit more "here" when she's feelin good. She creaks an answer "I am called 'Wraith' by the Institute's scholars - " I gave Tha Spook a conspiratorial wink. Tha Little Medic nods. "N-nice to meet you… uh… Wraith…s-so w-what are you?"
Tha Spook blushed deeply and went on, "The Praetors have determined that I am composed of the incorporeal essence of 81 creatures, mostly human, all victims of the Toxian catastrophe." Tha Spook went on ta say how she once believed that she was only a piece of forgotten paper blowing in the wind. She has learned that she is, in fact, a corporate entity and a real Girl. She finished up grinnin proudly.

Tha Little Medic nodded. "T-that's wild." Tha Spook thought so, too she even showed off her new skill of winking at me. I think she's soft on me. Can ghosts get tha hots? If they do, can they -do- anythin about it? That would suck, if they couldn't. I like her. I was happy ta ask her if she'd like ta go on tha books we couldn’t ger her ta sign nothing, but, intent is everythin. Tha Little Medic said “S-so are you a g-ghost then?” Tha Spook answered in her Real Girl voice "Yes. A ghost, as in Lewis Carol's fiction, or as in folklore." Tha Little Medic nodded "N-neato, th-then I won't e-ever have to s-stitch you b-back up!" Tha Spook shows Tha Little Medic her skill at becomin unseen. She asked me”H-how's your nose Grr? G-good, fur growin' back”, whilst grinning at tha dissapearing act. I said "err, yeah, i, um, dealt with that . . . had a bath and everythin . .fur dont regenerate, but it does grow back, one day, when she's ready, i'll be happy ta ferry tha Spook across tha Wide River, but only when she's ready ta go” Little Medic took it in and said “Eat l-lots of c-carrots and f-fish.” I guess its fer tha healin, and give my coat a nice healthy sheen, as opposed tat ha nasty greasy one it gets walkin about Toxia.

Tha Spook trembled..... but then sorta paused like she remembered to say "thannnnk you verry much" in her out-loud whisper. I guess she don’t feel like goin away anytime soon, and as long as she aint sufferin fer bein on this side of tha Wide River, I’m happy ta have her here. She kinda idly wondere outloud if anyone else has noticed that FLeshies look lovely by firelight, and added that she had become a huge fan of Agatha Christie, I don’t know who that is, but I think it’s a book thing, and also that there is a secret entrance into Hell on the other side of the rocks on the south beach. That at least was interesting info. I nodded "err, actually, i shifted ta Fleshie and back as i swam, fur came back then." She then wondered aloud if carrots and oranges taste the same. Tha Little Medic nods.. and then did the old “yawn and stretch trick and stuck a hello-kitty bandaid on me they have a bit of a giggle and I asked "does that me look more or less scary, ya think?"

Then tha mood dropped, no fault of those two, their sweet as. Tha Little Medic asked “H-how's Joah?” Tha Spook reported in her Real Girl voice that “Joah is immensely open, and far too close to the ether for such a fragile and sensitive person, and that she hoped with all her heart that Joah was well, right now, wherever she was”. I swallowed several times, fightin back bile and rage, grindin my teeth fer a moment before answering "Joah . . . .is still in tha grip of Pestilence, the first of the Four Horsemen . . . . we're workin on how ta ger her back" Tha Spook frowned and started weepin invisible, immaterial tears of worry! Just cause ya ain’t got no body don’t mean ya cant cry, it seems. Tha Little Medic asked me “Grr, i-is there anyway t-to ask f-for help f-from more powerful s-spirits, like, l-let them possess you?” I nodded slightly, "maybe thats tha best way, but, we're still lookin ... its a high cost deal, tha bigger tha Spirit, tha higher tha cost, and tha Hosemen . . .well, they embody tha four disasters, thats pretty heavy.” Invitin something strong enough ta go toe toa toe with them, might be worse then them anyways. I could call Coyote, but, Coyote aint one ta oppose Nature’s course. Cheat it, maybe, trip its minions, but not stop anyone doin what their path is.

I frowned and looked to tha poor, sobbin Spook, and offered a frownin smile, then brightens, and rummaged in my bag. Tha Little Medic said “E-emotional l-li'l gho-ghostie aint sh-she?” Tha Spook dodges herself, as others dodge bullets, she’s plenty shy, I want ta open her up, not shut her down, so I had a thought, hence tha rummaging. I said "i got somethin . . . .when Pestilence was here makin that goddess-awful stink, i thought of ya, and remembered somethin
I pulls out a box of nag-champa incense, and reached into the fire, whish still bubbled and pops with the smell of burning meat, lighting the ends of six sticks, and stuffed them into a wrinkly but still good orange, letting the aromatic and decidedly sensual smoke rise up swirl about "there, good smells” Tha Spook 's face relaxed, and dreams entered into her from the beautiful smoke, and she ceases to think quite so much...slowed down and got calm. I said "i remembered that Fleshie cultures offered burnt offerin’s ta tha spirits of tha departed, because they cant eat or drink, but can smell smoke”.

Tha Little Medic scratched at her funny little Fleshie nose. "Y-y'know, I'd b-be willing t-to offer m-myself as a v-vessel, s-since I don't h-have any supernatural p-powers." Another one willin ta lay down their very soul fer tha good of others, I reached over and laid a paw on her shoulder. "yer real brave ta offer that, Little Medic, we'll see what tha plan is, and i'll be sure ta remember ya volunteered . . ." Tha Spook desolidified a bit, and becomes full of Empty, fadin inta tha Other and makes a Silence. She looked at me real soulful like, well, kinda, deep, and looked less afraid. Tha Little Medic shuffles her feet. "A-also…uh…s-so wh-what exactly h-happens t-to the spirit wh-when the v-vessel dies?" Tha Spook musta seen many, many different sorts of outcomes. I can see a look in her eyes, guess she knows first hand, a lot of ways. 80 or so, at least. I answered "err, ya mean in general, or . . .Pestilance?” Little Medic said “I-if there is a g-general rule a-at all. I…g-guess in general” Tha Spook supposed that the lucky ones are just poured out, “like smoke from a cup” she said, but that most, though, demand ta be taken ta Hell and tortured for some reason. I never understood that, neither. Unless they knew deep down, they weren’t bein true to who they were. I said what I knew "well, if all goes well, ya get sent along to tha Next Place, through tha Other, or ya get another turn here, and get reborn and recycled”. Tha Spook told us she has never, ever met another ghost. It seems an unusual fate. I have, most of them were wretches, and needed ta get taken over tha River.

Tha Little Medic asked us “I…uh…h-have you ever r-read R-romeo and J-juliet?”
Tha Spook got excited and told us had and loved that Shakespeare guy. I frowned "thats tha same guy that did Henry Vee? about intertribal conflict and betrayal?" We got some of his stuff at Basic, teachin us about tha Glory of War, and leadership. “once more unto the breach, my friends, once more” and “we few, we happy few, we band of brothers” and all that. Stands my fur on end, even now, when I’ve given up tha Warriors Path fer tha Shaman’s Path. From a Fleshie who’s been dead hundreds of years no less. Wacky world. But I guess he wrote other stuff too. Tha Romeo and Juliet story was about two tribes at war, and two kids in tha middle, or something, not important ta our trainin, so it got missed. Tha Little Medic nods at tha Spook. "Y-you k-know th-the scene w-where J-juliet t-takes the f-fake poison, and t-tricks the family into th-thinking sh-she's dead. M-medically s-speaking i-it's possible t-to k-kill someone, th-then bring them b-back.” We’re both noddin at this stage, tha Spook remembers something in tha story, and I know ya can get flatlined on purpose and brought back. It’s a good way ta do deep surgery on a Lycan, our healin makes cutting on us difficult.

That’s tha procedure, but I think I see her plan, I asked "to shunt tha bugger out, is that what ya mean? Tha Spook told us she’d gladly trade her murky existence for the safety and happiness of Joah. Tha Little Medic went on “S-sometimes i-its used t-to d-diagnose v-very serious illnesses…anyhoo, y-yea, t-to trick i-it so t-to speak.I've a-already b-been working on s-streamlining th-the procedure, s-so it's only a m-matter of t-two injections.” Droppin Spirit Gal in tha Wide River was one of tha hardest things I’ve ever had ta do. I coulda lost her right there. Freed her, but lost my Spirit Gal to tha lands of tha Dead. Thinkin of doin it again made me swallow heavy and get tha shudders, fur ripplin over my whole body. Tha Little Medic said “S-something w-wrong?” Tha Spook wonders out loud “where the line between Death and simple not-being lay.” And then she saw me and looked afraid I was getting angry, but, no, just sad, real real sad, cause I’d failed my Spirit Gal, failed ta free her, almost, so close, but, no. I tell them what I could manage ta get out "i . . . Joah . . .she did die, a little, and it did leave her, but . . . . it came back and i did it, well, i did it my way, which is a messy way, maybe yer jabs would be better..” Tha Spook purposefully immersed herself in tha luxurious smoke and forced herself to stop having thoughts. Poor little thing. I wish I could do more fer her.

Tha Little Medic nodded, understandin my fear. "F-first off, d-don't worry, I w-wasn't thinking a-about d-doing this procedure on Joah, i-in all likelyhood h-her body is m-much too weak now t-to withstand it. B-but th-the spirit i-is more vulnerable w-when it i-is out of a b-body right?" I told them “yeah, it sure didnt like havin been booted” not sure if that made it weaker or just didn’t fulfill its mission parameters. Maybe it needed ta be in a body ta meet some criteria or something. Who tha fuck knows. I just want it outta my Spirit Gal, and outta Blue Shadow FOR my Spirit Gal. Tha Little Medic nodded and went on. "W-well, I w-was thinking, I c-could g-give someone i-instructions f-for the injections, th-then try to c-contract…err… get possesed b-by something that m-may help, a-and if i-it gets out of c-control, y-you could d-do the p-procedure. Or a v-variation on th-that plan…I d-dunno, it's p-probably a stupid i-idea.” That sounded ta me like a good plan, risky as all fuck, and really, I didn’t know if it’d make a lick of difference, but it was a solid plan. I said "thats not stupid at all Little Medic, we need ta work out what ta do ta keep tha bugger out once we boot it, and yer bootin system sounds better than tha way i managed it. which was fuckin touch and go” Tha Little Medic shrugs. "S-since th-this sort of th-thing…uh…really h-hasn't been done b-before, I v-volunteer.”

I looks over at Tha Spook and in a flash of inspiration rolls his head side to side curiously and reaches out to touch her with a claw tip, it goes in, and wafts about a little, I think I tickled her. I said "who's gunna know how ta do it right, if its you?” Tha Spook was probably thinking similarly.... she said she’d not be endangered, and can have flesh to receive injections with. And that she volunteers.” That spun me out. She could have flesh? I wonder where it’s come from, or was it just that Aether stuff that tha Messenger conjures from tha Other. Tha Little Medic went on “A-as I said, I c-can simplify th-the procedure s-so it's j-just a matter of t-two injections, I'm s-sure you, or even someone e-else could do that. A-and I h-had a thought, i-if the sp-spirit somehow m-manages t-to k-keep you from injecting m-me, I c-can do the f-first dose on a t-time release system, s-so if it grows too p-poweful, I'll die a-and it won't b-be able to harm you.”

I said "yeah, i can give jabs easy enough, hell, i was medic trained too, i even do a straight stitch, if just a little deep . . .” Tha Spook squeeked out that she’d do anythin, anythin, to help. I smiled warm like now, for the first time today at my two friends "you two are tops, ya know that? this is a big fuckin ask, we live, err , exist, in hash fuckin times, and yer both willin ta step up ta tha crease, thats tops, it really is” Tha Little Medic shruged and stared at her feet. "N-nah, I'm j-just reckless and a b-bit psychotic…" I said "ha! but yer OUR kinda psychotic” Tha Spook looked hopeful that the plan would work, and was just painfully desperately willing to take whatever risks might be required. She looked thoughtful fer a moment and said " 'Doktor' means 'speaker of the truth' Library taught me this” Tha Little Medic looked slightly nervous. "Y-yea…f-funny…I'm k-kinda a l-lier…" but I wasn’t letting this slide, praise where praise was due, they always told us that in tha Army, its good trainin technique fer Lycans, at least. I said "and you, ya wee Spook, yer real brave lookin ta go toe ta toe with these things, we all know it was hard enough fer ya ta peep up in tha first place too . there truth, then theres Truth, ya know . . . .. .” She blushed, goin a deep grey. Tha Spook blulshed and nodded fast

Tha Spook said she saw “Truth in fiction every day”. That she has been taught by Library that some Truths are only discoverable in Myth, and Fancy. She pledged herself to the endeavor, and carefully whispers "I will save Joah if it means not-being, or even Pain!" Tha Spook told us she remembers too well that she would still be a scrap of nothing blowing around the graveyard if not for the Institute. " Joah taught me what I am, and Rhaven showed me that I belong. I belong to the Institute." Tha Little Medic said “I-it's t-true they are wonderful, b-but you belong t-to yourself.” Tha Spook smiled and and hugged herself and said "Gift for Family." Family. This is my Family. My Family has been stolen. I need to save my Family. I need my Family to come back. I cant loose any more of my Family. They may die, but I cant LOOSE them, like tha Huntress. Never Again. I reached up and held Her amulet, rubbing the curved bronze glyph in my paw. Were was Her Ladyship? I need Her. Where is my Feather-Brother? Can he feel it when I rub my amulet? Do I feel it when he calls to his?

Tha Little Medic scratched her nose again. "Y-yes, I g-guess you c-can belong t-to a family and b-belong to y-yourself at th-the same time." Tha Spook smiled and it looked like she was feelin completely new feelins. I’m glad of that. I nodded, thinkin slow "and tha best is when ya can give yer all and have it all accepted, with love, fer what ya are" I kept rubbin Her amulet and looked at the empty chairs by the fire, then out tha window. Their chairs. I stood by tha fire, touchin my cushion and Spirit Gal’s cushion with my paw. I felt cold. Like ice dropped inta rum. Poppin and creakin. All I could say was "Kin, pack, Blood.” I could see tha Little Medic was getting slightly weirded out by my behavior, but said nothing. Bein a bad leader, spookin tha troops. I pulled myself tagether and said "we'll sort these buggers out, and get back our Spirit Gal, goddess damned Hosemen can get new riders” I even believed it.

Then tha cold of tha Beyond fell on us again, and Death was there. It said “Ferryman you speak ill of us” and Tha Spook recited " In the face without masks, Death is a woman." My fur bristled and I turned ta face tha Death that wore Blue. "get knotted, Thing.” I can offer defiance, I can offer hope to my Family.

But I know, better than most what will appease Death. Even a little.