Tha Lady doth protest . . .

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Pencil notes, scribbled hastily, some sections in thick pen, dated 30/6/08
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gonna try ta put down in writin what happened testerday, in case i loose it.

Spent too much time not doin, time ta get out and patrol. Thought it was a good time ta talk ta tha Righteous and tha Shadows about their takin up arms tagether against Tha Reckonin. It had worked, but tha butchers bill was steep fer tha pound of flesh they got. Still, anything that brings those two Factions tagether is good, right? Wrong. I spoke with Jon, he seemed ta think tha alliance would last as long as tha threat did. Fair enough. Tha Cybers didn't think so, they seemed ta be splitting down tha middle over sidin with tha Shadows, Portia and her crew, and tha rest. No such risk in tha Righteous, they keep a close House.

I headed over towards tha Pit, by way of tha Cat-House, runnin inta Quiet and her pet on tha way, talking with Rau. Crazy stuff goin on tween them three. Nuku was trailin me, had been since meetin Jon, none too subtle, but, it aint like she's a trained scout . . . I asked who was head Shadow on watch, got Kishi, eventually. That was good news, she and me got a common ground, kinda. SO over to tha Pit I went, getting more and more jittery as I did. Bad memories, worse fer tha ones I missed.

I got there and made my case again. Not tha warmest of welcomes. Didn't expect one. Kept my exits clear, even when they were circlin. Legion was there, doin its thing on some poor body. They had a girl up on tha alter too. She was singin, creepy, and . . ..sad. But I wasn;t there fer tha entertainment. I had questions. Tha answer? Tha Shadows hated tha Reckonin more than they hated Tha Righteous. More than they hated tha Institute fer bringin back Dimentox, and to at least some of their minds, causin tha Reckonin ta come in tha first place.

As I was negotiatin . . .i got tha fur-raisin tingle of Legion's minds in mine. "If nothing is resolved with them you speak with, You may always converse with Us once We have finished soothing the wounds to this one's soul" That Thing always freaked me out, but, ever since tha day in tha Library, Tenguska Day, I say that it showed its true Nature. Creepy, ancient, and . . . not like me. I looked across Tha Pit follr at it, and finished my diplomatic visit. Collected my sword from where I left it by their doors, and bugged tha hell out of there. I can almost smell Maverick's fur burnin still.

I headed to tha bay, catchin a scent as I went, Rizal's words ringin in my ears “when its done, we aoguth ta round all of you from tha Institute up and burn ya at tha stake.” I was freaked, and combat ready as I pounded down tha dusty road. I saw Her. With Jon, in front of tha Voodoo shop. She was hittin tha Zoltar machine. With her head.Jon poked Her Ladyship on the shoulder "Hello?"she flinched at his touch, muttering at tha machine as I ran up sniffing, scanned rooftops, corners, windows looking for threats.

Two combatants, South East corner, small arms, self-engaged. One non-combatant, melee weapon, observin group 1. Threat level, collateral damage from incoming over-shooting. I put myself in line of fire from the most obvious threat, meat shield style. Jon looks to me with a confused look "Umm...Grr...is everything alright?" as Her Ladyship rests her hands on the glass, starting intently inside mutterin under her breath.. “no.. no.. she isnt.. you lie.” I take a quick snap over my shoulder to Her Ladyship, then keep scanning, watching as I speak ta Jon “just . .. had . .a conversation with Tha Shadow command . . . Kishi and Rizal, we aint popular”

Jon keeps his eyes on Omega with a confused look as She balls her hand inta a fist, as she begins thumping the glass...he says to me "No kidding...what else they say?" Now I'm really getting spooked, trembling with combat awareness. Not good. Too exposed, Her Ladyship compromised. She mutterd.. “no, no, you lie, not my childe, she is not.. she is not...” I pause and answer Jon “oh. . . that we caused tha Reconin ta come, after raisin Dimentox and aint doin” . . .. Her Ladyship starts ta yell now “shut up shut up shut up” breakin my conversation off. I figure I need ta reach her “Lady, Yer Ladyship? OMEGA” She started poundin on the glass in earnest now.. yellin “you LIE! you LIE!!” Cant have that . . . so I turned and grappled Her Ladyship, locking limbs to prevent her striking out, just a second too late, as she lashed out, smashing glass, sending pieces flying..

She kept screamin “YOU LIE! YOU LIE AND SHE IS NOT AND YOU LIE” snarlin at me, struggling in my grasp as I sliped arms and shoulders, locking and gripping, as gently as may be without giving an inch, military training kicked in swftly. I was always good at subdual combat. I try ta talk her down, first step, "Lady . . .Omega. no, it is a fuckin piece of junk, and not worth yer rage" Jon put his hand under her chin and forces her gaze to his as he stared into her eyes "OMEGA! Get a hold of yourself!" he looked over her strugglin form ta me. I'm a lot bigger than Her Ladyship. "What is going on?" I put a foot pad on the machine and pushed us both away from it and looked at Jon "grief, mate, traumatic stress syndrome" Her Ladyship struggled in my arms, taking in great gouts of air she doesn't need, blood tears streaming down her face.. I maneuvered Her from looking at the machine and back towards the sea-gate. Jon felt Her warm blood on his hand and pulled it away shocked. Typical Fleshie response, they got aversions ta fluids. He looks back to me "Over what?" guess he missed tha memo. "loss of Family, mate, starts with an Enn" Omega growled as Jon perked a brow, shakin her head, glass falling out of her hair.." She is not.. she is not.."

Time ta go, I lifted Omega bodily for a moment, and places her down facing the sea. Tha Zoltar machine spoke, I hate that thing, so I let slip a snarl myself and bent at the hip, still clutching Her Ladyshid from behind, and delivered a swift side kick to the machine, knocking it over and de-powering it for a moment, at least. My guess was right. Her Ladyship see's tha sea and shudders, "she is not, and it is not so, and she is not, and it lies, this thing.." I shook my muzzle towards tha water "Jon, walk with me, look her in tha eye" he stared in disbelief and noded in time with Her Ladyships eyes focusin on the tanker and her gaspin "she is here, she must be here, she sleeps.." as I frog-march her over tha sand. "c'mon, little further" I try ta reach her, but she tries to pull out of my grip, close enough. I gently released Her now She was out of danger. Tha beach was empty. "i will go. into the sea... and I will find her.. I will show that thing.. it lies.. it lies and she is not.." Bad idea. "wait . .Lady . . she is away . . ." its not a lie. I don't lie. It was true. Nareth wasn't at her home under tha waves.

Her Ladyship just kept stumblin towards the shore, Jon lunged forward quickly "Thats not such a good idea.." as I dove after her as well. Jon grabed her shoulder and softly says "Omega...come on back to dry land.." might have ta swim, "i will find her and I will show them I will show them all she is not, she is not.." So i throw off my coat. Jon's grip tightend as he said more harshly "Omega...get back to the land...you will find nothing out there..." Omega flinched at the touch, shruggin out of it as she tried to wade into the sea.. "Lady . . .yer Ladyship, . . .Omega . .. shes.. . not here. shes . . . gone away" I can't say it its not gunna help more than it'd harm. But I can't lie ta Her. "not here, she is not here, never here.." she goes on and Jon sighed and looks to me as he said flatly "Got a knife?"

Legion's whispers drift again to me, sounding more somber "Her soul would not have her. She wished to be complete, but her soul refused to return. A rebirth was required..." I feel my essence manifest as a dry tumbleweed rustle in reply, in the time between heartbeats thump "not all vessels can be refilled once shattered, not all life can refill its own shell once it leaves tha nest"

I’m in a daze from tha contact with Legion as i pull my KA-BAR and hand it over, looking nervous at Her Ladyships face. It was covered in bloody tears as she snarls at us fer trying to stop her.. "I will find her and I will show them.. that she is not.. she is not.." Jon took the KA-BAR and rolled up his sleeve. He pressed the blade to his wrist and winces as the combat knife slices his veins, the scent of his blood filling the air "Omega...come back here ...look ...fresh blood.." Her Ladyship's head turned.. I saw it, too late. Damn Legion "wait .NO!" is all I could manage as I tried ta tackle Jon and cover him with meself before She reached him. Too slow. Her Ladyship steps in, snarling at me as she shoulders me aside. I see Jon fall ta tha ground as I hit him but I feel Her fling me well aside. I hit tha sand and plough a deep wall of sand as I come to rest, scramblin up shaking my head, moving without knowin, instinct taking hold as Her Ladyship steps forward, grabbing onto Jon's wrist.. He holds the blood covered arm up "Come on...come get it..." Bloody drongo don’t know what he’s doin, he’s signin his death warrant. She almost killed Poncho when she was like this last. Tenguska Day. In tha Library, the day I first saw what Legion was . . . I almost reach them , yellin “fuckin CRAZY FLESHIE . . ..”

Legion is only dark, and broken bits of once was the glory of dawn "Nareth, who is no more, will be...something else...and you may call her Labyrinth...We are not the way back to the mortal plane, but she is attracted most to Us...most to Our daughter...why will she not pass on? She is deceased so many times over, before We ever met her. What know you, shaman of Gaea, over imparting peace to the weary soul of one who sews weary agony, and disarray?"

Jon slowly pulled her back further onto tha beach, keeping her from tha water, distracting her and looked to ma and mouthed the words "Restrain her while she's distracted" All I can say is “ FUCK!” as I reach them. Her Ladyships 's eyes are still filled with bloody tears as she begins to laugh.. “little meat puppet.. little human.. blink in the eye thing...you would keep me, from my childe? you?” Her eyes glow, feral.. I have a plan, shaking Legions voices out of my head. I pulled my sword from my belt, scabbard and all and slipped it between them swiftly, flat blade on her belly, subtly as I could with Her distracted, griped the handle in one paw, the tip in the other. Jon snarled as the blood drips from his arm, his eyes beginnin to glow as well. Perfect, great. "She is not there...I'm keeping you from nothing..." I see Her 's grip on Jon's wrist becomin vice-like. Shelaughs bitterly.. a sound devoid of sanity..”I will end you, meat puppet.. and I will find my childe” Jon smirks as he feels the grip tighten and launches his foot toward her legs . Good move that one. HE might make it after all. She lurches, unbalanced, Her grip on Jon's arm strong..

My essance rustles as tumbleweed over scree replying to Legion as I gripped, focussed on saving Her Ladyship from Herself "the Vessel is only that, the Spirit within will do as it will, go to the Next, Pass on, Return or Lessen, my Path only allows me to guide, not to change, that choice" another heartbeats thump, another moment of being out of myself at a time I can not afford.


Her Ladyship snarls, shoving violently, unheeding of the blade at her stomach Jon pulled his arm in with a sharp jerk and stares in her eyes, he growls "She's dead Omega...she's gone...you won't find her.."She pushed closer, against my pullin leanin on the blade, pushin towards Jon..i kept pullin, using the flat sheathed steel as a pry bar, prayin the laminated metal will flex and give enough to pull Her off him. Somethin happens, Her body changes, tensions shift. She said real low and very quiet..”What did you say?” I paused in my pull as she releases his wrist over Her shoulder I saw Jon’s eyes take on a full glow as he snarled with an ethereal edge "You won't find her out there...she's gone...ashes to ashes...dust to dust.." Bad call, Fleshie . . . I felt her start trembling again, and took my grip, pullin again “What did you say?” Jon just repeated in a low tone "Ashes to ashes.." Nodding slowly as she asked “dead? Nareth? my Nareth? my lamb?” I just leant in close over her, sword still slipped in place as a prybar, sheathed and bending Jon looked up at me, I don’t know what was in his eyes, but he looked back to Her. He nodded slowly once more.

She shook her head.. “dead.” Her arms darted out again, reachin for Jon's arm as Denny decended from tha sky nearby. Jon’s wound slowly closed with dried blood around it. He tilted his head to the side ta look to Her. I just leaned his head in close over the top of Her Ladyship’s shoulder and starts to pull again on my makeshift prybar. Not enough. She tuged him forward.. “ My Nareth. Dead.” I’m pantin at the strain, She lurched forward and all of a sudden realised what's holdin her back.. Me. She shoved hard, backwards, into me, windin me, but I still got my grip, still got Her from behind, away from tooth and claw, I’d take Her by tha neck and shake Her if I was gonna kill Her, prime position fer ambush kill. Never in a million lifetimes could I do that. I hesitated. She didn’t She turned, shoving me with one hand, Her other still gripped on Jon's wrist. Blood was a bigger attraction than smackin me down. She looks back to Jon, staring at his wrist..


Legion nods, swaying in a night breeze, swarming momentarily, and forming a flash of a vision of the figure of Raven, dispersing as quickly with a guttural caw, whispering "Grr, you are aligned with psychopomp such the soul shall end out one place. You know, and accept psychopomps other, that ferry souls to other sunless lands--other sunless lands more fitting the soul ferried?" The unseen impression of Raven shakes it's head, sighing with the sound of many winds, all to the south...all to winter...all to end times, and sleep, sad at the loss of creation. The next words whispered are twinged with agony, sounding on the verge of tears for the epic hero died early "We shall love you to ferry her elsewhere. We shall adore your being for bringing her from darkness to happy hunting grounds, or dreaming time" The voices are more and more, multitude upon multitude, and expanding, in pain without panacea, in pain...and into night "We shall beg you to bring her from the cold and lonely night...."

I staggered, Legion had cut me deep, deep ta my soul. Legion brought forth Raven, the Watchman of the Passed. Raven had asked of me a boon. Me. ME who had sent so many over the waters without a second thought. That was the longest heartbeat I can remember. I staggered. Sheathed sword slipped from my numb paws as She twisted below me, off balance for a moment on the shifting sand Jon stared up once more and growled "She's gone...now let go or do something...either way snap the hell out of it.." Bloody fool of a Fleshie, I’m out of it, I cant help him, couldn’t be feel that ? Her Ladyship growls at him “do something? well, that's permission if ever I heard it”. I manage ta recover enough sense ta put a paw on Her shoulder to pull her as he readjusts his balance. My second big mistake. I’m fast, I got fast reflexes, I see things as they are, as they will be, and all I could see was Her slender wrist loomin closer and closer, and tha back of her fist comin around ta tha side of my muzzle. I could hear her snarl. I heard tha thud, tha crunch, tha shatterin of bones in my head, and jaw, neck. I didn’t feel anything. That was nice, just got ta go fer tha ride.

I was conscious as I watched the sand slide under me like clouds as I flew across tha beach. I could hear tha waves breakin like a roar of a waterfall. Real peaceful, it was. I wondered what Raven thought I could do fer Nareth, fer Labyrinth. I wondered if Her Ladyship was gonna be mad at me fer haulin her around like a sack of potatoes. I hit tha sand, digging my own little crater, shiftin ta my birth form. I heard Her Ladyship say, real far away “Do something, do something he says. Does this qualify?” I wondered where My-She was and what we were goin ta have fer dinner, after we had our fun.

My essence’s connection with Legion got cut off with a flash of Omega's knuckles and red, then blackness, and the sound of waves. I wonder if it felt it too.

I woke in tha Library. Her Ladyship holding me in her lap. I was still in breed form. It had been hours. She carried me back and held me till I woke up. She wasn’t mad at me. So sad. She hugged tha Central Pillar where Nareth once stood. Channelin rage, pain, fear, anger.

Tenguska.

I’m goin ta bring her back.

Tenguska

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torn out journal article pasted into the notebook, pencil notes on the top, dated 30/6/08
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Library gave me this, fell off tha shelf as i sat by tha fire wonderin what ta do about my bent-assed sword. More on that later. This is scary symetry.

I was there, or, rightly, i was here when this happened. Last year. History books tell us it happened in 1908, but i saw it happen from behind tha pillar, tha LAST time Her Ladyship lost control. Now Nareth's gone. I miss tha scary Huntress . . .

http://www-th.bo.infn.it/tunguska/aah2886.pdf

Tha Library Ritual

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Pencil entry, smudged with ash dated 23/6/08
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I'm sittin by tha fire, I see dawns light hit tha hotel and know its time. I look up and around, stand and stretch. Time. Joah pauses in her writing and glances at me chewing thoughtfully at her pencil. Her Ladyship is there, Poncho dutifully at her side. Tha morn is still, quiet. Good sign. "err, i'm gunna get . . .ready . . ." I say as I duck ta tha back and get changed inta my ceremonials. Battle skirt goes, leather pants go, T-shirt and gloves. Sword and earpiece. I take my satchel and pull out tha feather fan that My-She had gathered and made fer me, and head back around the bookshelves ta see who's come.

Joah's still there, waitin, as is Poncho, and Her Ladyship, and some more have arrived, Athanaric, and then, as i turn the corner, Nareth is lead in, by Bella. Nareth is dripping, fresh from tha Sea, hooded, and as Her Ladyship had said, blind. Tha day has not been kind ta Nareth. I'm staggered she came at all. I only knew that she'd been tortured at Legions hands fer hours in Tha Pit, and had her eyes . .. .destroyed by that Many-In-One thing. She bore it as she always did, stridently. She spoke, as she entered, "Where is the fire, Bella ?", sniffing the air as she did, Bella guided her "Ahead, and to your right, We just walked through the door" Nareth may be missin her eyes, but like tha huntress i know her ta be, she don't need eyes ta know about a room. "Omega...Joah...Pontifex." Bella seemed ta take it as a question, but i knew it weren't. " Joah is in front of it, the fire...Yes, Omega and Pontifex are here" its a subtle thing. "Yes... Thank you, Bella." Athanaric offers greetin from tha couch, and Joah Menjou sighs, Nareth's name, as she looks toward Nareth's damp face where she stands before the fire, dripping seawater. "Bella? Please, stay near me. I do not wish...to be alone." Bella looks at Nareth and replies to her "Yes, I will"

I take that moment ta step outta cover and let her know i'm there "Nareth, i'm honoured ya came, i hope tha travel wasn't too taxin" i say ta her and she recognises me, and replied "It was not...taxing, Grr. Bella, please, lead me to some spot near Omega." Bella took Nareth's hand, leads her across the room. She asks if her chair is still there, i tell her it is, as always, as Bella directs her ta it. Beella then gets permission ta sit, but not too far, she sits next ta tha fire, along with Joah, tellin Nareth she wont go far.

I get on with it ""i thank ya all fer comin, fer bein here fer this , its yer home too, and i wanted, befer i started ta know if any objected . . . ." Nareth clears her throat. " What is to happen, precisely? Have any of the other wardens come?" Joah watches me careful like and listens. "I hope ta perform ritual Awakening and ceremonial consecration of tha Library with tha consent of tha Her Ladyship, Omega" Nareth asks "To protect...?" and i reply "yeah, kinda. tha aim is ta contact tha Spirit of tha Library, and ta entreat it ta re-Awaken in tha Prime Material Plane. This is specifically not aiming ta re-establish tha Wards previously put on tha Library, but ta give tha Spirit back its voice."

Nareth nods. "I have no objection, Grr. It has been left unprotected too long." i gotta agree, wholeheartedly "i thank ya, Nareth. it has. During tha time tha Toxian Library has been occupied by tha Omega Institute it has been a hub of powerful supernatural and metaphysical activity. tha individuals what take residence there emanate not only a thirst fer knowledge and debate, but more often than not, radiate Power in one way or other. tha thaumaturgic activities within its wall have ranged from subtle ta earth-shaking. Tenguska . . . " which made Nareth shifts uncomfortably.

Its very structure had been imbued with tha direct essence of three Wardens, giving it in past not only tha ability ta defend itself and its inhabitants directly, but ta develop a distinct personality with tha ability ta voice its thoughts through those Wardens and tha contents of its walls.
Athanaric leaned forwards, listenin closely as I went on “When these Wards were lifted this voice was cut off. tha Library was unable ta act. It was inert. Sleeping. Comatose. Yet it lived still. More than a collection of stone and wood, bricks and mortar, books and couches. Joah reached down to touched the stone floor, nodding in agreement with me. Tha gesture wasn’t too different ta my habit of sayin hello and goodbye ta Tha Library on my comin er goin. I Always, ALWAYS do it, even if I’m running fer my life, or tha life of another, that fleetin touch, shows my respect fer tha Place

“Tha years of accumulated magical energy, tha personality inexplicably imbued in it by its Wardens, and tha vast collection of data available ta it, directly or magically has given rise ta a living spirit. A spirit of learning, quiet contemplation, of intrigue and peaceful observation in a city of danger and violence.” Ta which Nareth whispered, "And of anger." She’s right, of course, she usually is. Insight, even fer who and what she is.

“Its Alive, it feels, i know. Why am i doin this? cause when i was at my lowest, when i had no Home, Tha Library gave me shelter. When i had no Hearth, it gave me fire. When i had no Family, it gave me . . .you. I came here, with no home, with no Family, nothin but my kit and a few friends. I've given of myself ta heal here, to be healed here.”

I See Her Ladyship smile at tha memories and as Nareth reaches blindly for her Sire's hand, She takes it in Hers. I point at tha Portrait above tha fireplace. “I have bled for this place, in this place. My blood is in the very walls. Imbued with tha power of Dimentox, my blood has become a gift i gave to this Place. I took it on myself ta guard it, before i was a part of you. Its in my Nature.” Nareth muttered something rude about Dimentox. Which made me laugh, a deep, free laugh. He scares me, his childer scare me, but in tha end, only fer my life and pelt. They can’t touch who I am.

“I was taken from my people before i was born, i've had to learn what i am from Military trainin manuals and what This Place offered me. Now it is time to give back to it, what was taken from It.” I take out tha bundle of herbs My-She made fer me fer this purpose. Tha right rolled leaves, dried with care, and rolled with love. I marvel fer a moment at how such a simple thing holds such symmetry. Deft hands made this, far more so than my own clawed paws. I reach it inta tha fire and light the bundle, and put it in tha bowl she gave me too.

Bush-sage. I wanted ta bless all tha witnesses, participants and building before I started. Ta do it right.. tha smoke was grey blue, lightly sweet and crisp smelling. It drifted actively ta all present and reacted according to their intent ta tha ritual. Intent is everythin, and My-She knew that more than most, and imbued tha smudge stick with that thought. Tha smoke moved of it's own will on tha aether, not by wind. Good will, or collaborative intent drew it. Neutrality had no effect. Ill will or conflicting intent would repel it.

Nareth sniffed at tha air...
Her Ladyship inhaled, smiling at the scent..
Joah closed her eyes, breathing in the sweet fragrance.
Bellatrix inhales deeply of the familiar scent

Tha others remained neutral at least. As I wafted tha smoke around.

It was Time.

"let tha doors be unbarred.
Let tha windows be cast open.
This is a ritual of Awakenin and Freedom."

I closed my eys and shook my fur out, rolling muscles in my shoulders, arms. Back, hips, tail, thighs, calves and shuddering as I called up tha Kachina spirits, tha Earth. I’m a Shaman at heart. I feel tha pull of earth and stone, flesh and bone, blood and breath. Tha Livin and touchable. Tha workins of Heaven are not my Path. Nor of mind, fire or air. I Work with what I can hold in my Paw, touch and smell. This was a big step fer me. But it had ta be done, and no one else had stepped up tat ha line. Stand up, hook up, shuffle tat ha door as my jump instructor used ta say. Nareth sat up a little straighter. Her Ladyship stood, walkin to the windows, turning the latches, openin all the windows, allowing a slight breeze to waft in..

Time ta leap inta tha open sky. “thank you, Yer Ladyship. If they be present, will tha sundered Wardens step forth?” Nareth stands very slowly, hesitantly, callin ta Bella who whispers she’s right there still.

"You who gave of yourselves,
ta protect this place,
For that which it stands
And all who did so here."

I wafted smoke to Nareth, gently letting it swirl around her. She whispers to Bella, "Yes. I smell you....even over the smoke."

"tha Service you did was great.
tha gifts you gave were deep.
That which you wrought endures
But now tha Spirit slumbers"

"Three as One:
Birth. Life. Death:
Sun. Earth. Moon:
Above. Middle. Below."

Nareth whispered, "Three were one." Her words, I remember, I listen, I know. Ya have ta listen Tha oracles, or ya miss tha Truths they utter.

Have you further words, gifts or Spirit ta offer ta this Place? You who's Duties have been held?
Nareth shifts nervously. “You mean me?” She aint used ta bein asked, I know, but I’ve never made her nervous before, it aint my intent. SO I address her as best I may, “yes, Omega's Childe, your Voice which has been long missed” She nodded slowly and spoke. “I once spoke for this place, as this place. But things are not...now, as once they were. I did not willingly reliquish my role as ward. I would see...the library..safe again. and awake. Please...continue.”

I felt tha Spirits move in me, as I swayed ta her haltin voice tha bells on my arms and paws jingle as she spoke her words. “i bow to ya and yer Service, Nareth, Omega's Childe, Huntress” I say it cause she cant see it, she just stared blindly into space. I hope she heard at least, tha respect I have fer her and her struggles. So I raised my muzzle and spoke ta tha walls, tha shelves, tha stair, tha Central Pillar and tha Fire

"Three once Warded;
lent you eyes, voice, mind;
One, now Awaken;
Open your eyes, voice, mind!"

"Bring forth wisdom,
ta temper knowledge.
Bring forth knowledge,
ta temper rage."

"You are known,
though you have slumbered
Your peace sought,
Though you have been stilled."

I almost didn’t see Her Ladyships hands clench, at what, I don’t know. Joah lays her hand flat on tha stone floor again, the Fire seemd ta rise up more brightly behind her. I took my three offerins from my leather pouch; a stone tablet, a leather bound book, and a bare DVD. Tha memory-stone from a Kiva in Hopi-lands, where my dam was captured for tha Zoo, I figure that’s where my People were from. I rescued that from tha : Met, in tha city so nice they named it twice. Made me homesick fer Tox, it did. The book was tha “Maleus Lycanthropaea” a book on Lycans, and how best a spot em, and save their sould fer tha One God of tha Jerusalem Death Cult, which I err, got on loan from tha British Museum in London, not as tall as tha first, but even dirtier. Tha last, I had ta break inta tha records bunker at “Pucka” fer. I stole my own files, tha 7RAR-L Personnel Data Disk on me, from deep under Puckapunyal Barracks. They’ll have other copies, but now I got what they got. Now Tha Library has it.

“These tokens i give back ta tha Library, a stone, i quested fer, of my People, a book, of lore of my kind and files, that i took back from my past” I passed em around fer tha Witnesses ta look at, befor goin on “do any here wish ta make their own offerin to Tha Library?”

Joah rose and stood in the center of the library with me. She stretched out her arms to her sides, palms up, and tilted back her head. She kinda looked like she was goin to go into a trance, not really aware of her surroundins. I took a pace back, encompassing Joah in smoke, but givin her room. Nareth Spoke again “My offering was made long ago, Grr. I have nothing left to give.” But I couldn’t leave her at that “and Remembered, Huntress Nareth” then Her Ladyship spoke to Nareth smiling at her words.. “not true, my sweet, not true. You yet have much to give. But not now.” Nareth didn’t reply to her Sire.

My Cousin Uke peaked around the stairwell, lokin like she was wondering if she's appeared at a bad time, though watching intently. I smiled and nodded ta her, waving her to join in a seat, as Joah’s eyes widen, they appear different than they've ever been before. Flames seem to burn within them."I am a walker on fire," she murmurs. "Pohetv: The Spirit of the Library says, Always remember Me." the image of a translucent fiery bird seemed to envelope Joah, translucent, flames lickin her over. "Yvhiketv." She begins singing an achingly sad melody in a high, keening voice. As she sings, tears begin to fall down her cheeks.

Nareth flinched slightly, hearing the song.

Joah brought her right hand to her face to wipe them, and as she did, each tear turned to crystal and droped into her palm. She stoped singing. "Hecetv." She opened her palm to reveal four cystal tears, then started walkin a circuit of the library--east, north, west, south and back to the center. Joah spoke then, firmly, but in a sweet voice, "I call upon you, Spirit of Fire, to witness this rite and to waken the the Library." Humming ta herself, she takes each tear and tosses it one at a time: east, north, west and south. Each tear sparkles as it flies, then disappeared . A sound like women's voices singing begins to hum from the walls of the Library.

Nareth shuts her blind eyes., as did Her Ladyship, murmuring intellibly under her breath. Joah quivered, shook her head a few times and took a tumbling step, then fell to a heap on the floor in front of me. I crouched down and rested a paw on Joah for a moment, nodding. Force of habit, biut tha Sprits told me she was just released, and gone slack fer a moment. She slowly stirs, confused. I get back ta it.

“doth any other wish ta Speak, Offer or bear Witness?" looked up at Her Ladyship, who was still murmurin, rolled my head side to side, scannin her carefully, unfocussin to look Within. Just in case . . . as Joah gets to her knees, bites her lip and makes her way back to the fire. I pat Joah with the feathers I am waftin tha smoke with as Nareth lowers her head...

I see Uke pause carefully, wondering what one would offer to such a place. Her eyes dance for a moment on the fire over her shoulder, then to the Lady.

Her Ladyship addresses Me, tha Spirits, and tha Library “I bear witness, Coyote..” She raised a wrist to her fangs. “I bear witness with Blood.” I all but hear Nareth flarein her nostrils as Her Ladyship bites savagely into her wrist, stepping towards me. I bow my muzzle at Her gifting, offers the smouldering bowl, smoke swirling, penetrating, cloaking and shielding. She held her hand out, allowing drops of blood to fall, hissing on the charcoal. Nareth raises her head again at the hissing sound. She know tha burn of fire, these two. Tha sound and smell of burnin. It is a fittin offerin, tha Spirits will be pleased. They taste smoke, and now, they taste of Her, our Leader, Joah begins to shake at the sound and the smell. Her Ladyship raised her wrist towards my muzzle, as Nareth growls very, very softly. I drops my muzzle close, close enough to kiss, then, turning it to dab one cheek, then the other in Her blood, I paint myself. She tilts her wrist, letting the blood run onto her hand.raises a finger and traces an Omega onto my chest, in Her blood. Nareth sniffed the air again, that blood flows in her veins too, the source of her hunger and being. I can offer only my thanks, with a bow.

Now comes the final sharp plunge. Tha moment of truth, like tha last fall of a jump. Will the chute open? Or I have the privilege of being tha first on tha ground and dig my own hole? I nodded, and readied myself fer tha end, again, shaking out my fur, ruff to tail tip, paw claws tapping the ground in a light but soothing rhythm. Might as well look good. As Her Ladyship turns to Pontifex, holding her wrist out again.. He smiles, gazing up to her as he kissed her wrist. That is tha depth of their bond. I am glad fer it. I breathed deeply, steeling myself, nervously lookied around at the walls, the shelves, the Central Pillar and took tha moment.

"We who would learn;
ta seek, ta strive, ta overcome;
Gather here in this place;
ta adapt, ta innovate and not ta yield;"

Nareth agreed “Never to yield...”

"This day marks tha turn of tha year;
tha City falls towards long night;
By tha light of tha Longest day;
Awaken! Spirit of this Place!"

Her Ladyship walked tha quarters, as I chanted, allowing her blood to drip on the boundaries of the Circle..

" Awaken, One: born of Three;
Awaken, Spirit of Learning;
Awaken, Spirit of Knowledge;
Awaken, Open your eyes, voice, mind!"

Her Ladyship turned ta me, her circle complete.. I am grateful fer it. I felt alone there, without My-She ta help ground me. But she had good reason, and I’d not change that fer tha World. When One with Sight feels they can’t be there, ya bloody listen. My voice trailed off as I stood swaying gently as tha Spirits began ta leave me and whispered in a voice half growl, half word "awaken". I barely noticed Nareth’s slight shudder, as Joah lifted her arms in front of her, arms outstretched, palms up and began ta sing again. I just stood still, swayin, listenin, ears peaked and eyes lidded, nostrils flarin fer Sign. None came. None that I could tell. But ya cant feel tha storm from tha eye, they say. Tha hair on the back of Uke’s neck rose, her eyes now glued on the fire over her shoulder, I could see her shudder. Nareth lowered her hood, coverin her face and sightless eyes. Her Ladyship opened her palms, tiltin her head up..

It was over. I had done it, but what had I achived? “i thank ya, one and all, fer bein here, bearin Witness ta this Callin, offerin of yerselves and makin this, what it is.” Nareth nodded. Athanaric nodded, Nareth reached her left hand out for Bella to take as Joah lowers her palms to her lap, humming softly to herself and nodding ta me. Bella reached up and took Nareth's hand in hers, stood.

I feel empty, but I KNOW it was tha right thing ta do. “this . . .mattered, we . . . matter, tha Library . . .matters” is all I can muster ta say as Nareth says softly, "We shall see...". She’s right “always do, Huntress Nareth, always do, nothin is ever certain but now we've made our gesture, tha forms have been followed. if IT decides ta grace us, then we will know, again, i thank ya” She turns ta Her Ladyship “If I may leave now, Sire, I must return to the sea.” Her Ladyship nods.. “yes, Nareth.. go..” and Bella leads her away. Joah stands slowly in front of the fire, touches my blood-painted muzzle gently then leaves without a word. I gave tha bowl and feathers ta tha fire, for the Spirits, ending the ritual formally, closing my eyes and nods to Joah as she leaves.

Her Ladyship nodded to me and sat down, nursin her wrist. “it is Done, Yer Ladyship, ta tha best of my ability. tha Forms have been followed. we asked, without takin, offered without demandin. tha way it should be. i'll sleep sounder now, though” She thanks me. What more can I ask, what more could I do. I follow my Nature.

Checklist: Solstice

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Pencil entry dated 21/6/08 items are crossed out
===============================
*get wordin right: no openin rifts ta Hades or Canberra
*bush-sage ta My-She
*big feathers: not seagull
*memory-stone from Kiva in Hopi-lands: Metropolitan Museum, NY
*Maleus Lycanthropaea: British Museum, London
*7RAR-L PersonnelData: Lycan 0571. Platoon Sgt GrrBrool, Puckapunyal Barracks
*make sure Her Ladyship is still ok with it
*get notice out

Musins on tha world

((original idea swiped from ))

Gone Fishin

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Pencil note on water spotted paper, with greasy spots smelling of creole spices dated 16/6/08
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I tracked My-She's scent through South Tox to tha bay, and off by tha breakwater I saw her, sittin starin out over tha breakers so I took a swim. Tha water in tha bay is oily, but tha surf keeps it from bein too stagnant. On tha way over, as I paddle as quiet as I can, I spy some movement under me. "Always take an easy meal" my drill instructors used ta say. So I duck-dive, pullin my short sword free as I do and hit bottom. It ain't natural, a Shifter in War-Form on tha sandy bottom of a bay in amoungst tha rocks, but then again a shark would have ta have some -big- balls ta try me. Croc's too, they're tasty. But taday I had crab in my sights. A fast thrust and press and my prey was well and truly McFucked. Half way down my blade and wrigglin as I surfaced and clamboured up tha rocks to My-She.

I shook tha water off and brandished my trophy, my food offerin ta My-She.
"err, i got dinner . . ." She smiled ""is it ok if i want my share cooked?" I told her i can do that too, My-She looked past me at somethin "walking on water... i thought only one guy in history did that." I asked "Bob?" as Sorenz nodded a greeting to us, the fishing couple as he put it. My-She greeted him whilst I wrestled with the big blue crab " hi Sorenz, how are you?" he said he was fine and asked if there were any bites?. I waved my crab on the sword "just tha one, but i fucked his shit RIGHT up." he said that it looked right tasty and if we weœe gonna steam it or broil it. My-She laughed and told him we were gunna
bbq it.

"i got drift wood, and cyclohex tabs" as I sheathed my sword holdin tha crab in one paw fishin in my pack. My-She asked "cyclowhat?", so I told her "fire starters" and she got a funny look in her eyes "um.. my One?, my most amazing One? um.. see..." I frowned and bashed the crab, tryin ta make a break for it "im a witch.. right?" she went on as I was distracted "mmm? Wait, which?"
She went on "um.. one thing i can do is .. start a fire" Obvious. What a drongo, of course she can! So i grined and ploped the deadish crab on the driftwood. She just looked at the wood and it burst into flame, then glancin at me says "such is....."
and I finish fer her "YOUR awesome power!" SIMAP. Tha true source of force. Understandin tha part Will plays in makin shit happen. She nods and cackles "ok.. chalk up another use for me.. good for when the power goes out . I poked at the sizzlin crab on the cackling driftwood fer a bit. Tha shades of tha flames were really. I bet they were pretty colours too.

"ya know, My-She, this is a really beautiful spot ya invited me ta dinner at" go me pullin out tha smooth lines. My-She reached into a pouch and pulled out a palmful of Old Bay Seasoning and sprinkles it on the crab, which sets me ta droolin as she says " t'was a good spot to come think" I want ta make it over her walls, not bust through em. Infiltrate, not assault. I, really, really think I love her. At least, I think that’s what this feelin is. I don't know what I wouldn't do fer her. don’t know what i'd do without her. "I, erm, like bein here with ya" stunnin wit again from tha Shifter. She smiled "i like being anywhere you are" a keep at it, "almost looks peaceful, dont it?" She looks back over my way, ta Tox. "it is peaceful, i havent heard gunfire all day" almost there, I try one more, "it is, now, with ya here, and some sizzly crab". My-She sighs "i'm sorry i stomped off, my One, just being a moody bitch.. i really am sorry" I think of somethin quick, point up at the sky, "see that glow?, thats tha moon . . . ha. truuuust me, i get it. My-She looks and sighs again "the full moon is still more than 2 days off"

"I get pissy fer worse reasons than some snooty trouble maker who was pusshin EVERYBODYS buttons" My-She looks at me "wasn't Spa..and she best not be thinking i left because of her self importance" but I try ta keep tha talk flowin. "I meant Kaine.." not tha right answer either. "oh I’m not upset at him either." I take a moment ta flip the crispy crab, singin my paw in tha process as she goes on "about what was offered him, yes" she catches me burnin myself "goofy mutt it's hot" which leads ta tha inevitable "thats what that stuff is right?" she looks at tha crab then at me, lickin my paw. "the red stuff is spices" so I blow a raspberry and steal a crispy leg "or are you meaning the fire...." I wink "yeah tha MOVIN hot stuff, ha." I pop tha whole leg, shell and all inta my mouth and munch it. All goodness, and go on. "so, whats tha trouble with kaines possition?" My-She breaks off a leg and snaps the end from it .. sucking the meat and juices and spices from it "ages ago.. while I was still a coven member.. i offered.. to Miss and to Tony.. to help run the coven.. my offer was turned down so i end up in the haven... which was a happy thing because we met there and now in the OI.. where im sorry but i feel less than useless much of the time. and kaine gets asked to go to the coven to help run it" we pause ta eat more legs as they cook

"yer dream post, goin ta loser after loser, fuck, thats tough" My-She is a tough kitty though, just shrugs "not my dream post.. but at least something i might be useful at" so I try ta lighten her mood as best as I can, barracks-style "well . . . . maybe if he had . . . .an accident . . . 'oops, Kaine's fuckin head fell off and got hit by a tree chipper' . . . ha" but she looks at me with a mock witherin stare "you know better than that. there is a reason there are no chippershredder things in Toxia, they wont let you have THAT much fun, sorry, my One". Well what can I say ta that, but I think my ploy worked. I grab the crab, snaps it in two with a flick of my wrist and claws and pass one steaming spicy half over, the more spiced and less burnt half.

"did i explain about the dead dinos?" She gave me a shirt. I kill shirts. This one read "tha dinos, I kilied them" she picked a large juicy hunk of crab meat from her half.. and holded them out for me to nibble. Typical, she's so good ta me. "naw, ya didn't, .please?" so, she does. "well..there is this sex toy.. called an eroscillator, it's one of those things a guy should never ever guy his lady. because they are so amazing as to render the guy completely unneeded. apart from cooking and cleaning, taking the garbage out, and um.. dead things..yeah, so anyway.." I butt in"can ya smash spiders with it?" stoppin her fer a moment "i um.. have said device.. um.. if i was inclined to get THAT close to a spider... maybe." more chance fer mistchief. "i get weekends off for beer and sport! And make my yobbo face. "wait wait wait, what kind of sport?" woops. She's got me now. I don’t no anythin. " uhh...cricket?"
My-She looks amazed "do you actually understand that game?" but that gives me a out "ahaha, NO ONE understands that game thats why it takes three fuckin DAYS, ta TEST . . .ahhaahah" My-She looks amused. I win. "brits.. what do you expect, anyyyyyyyyyyyyway i have the aforementioned device and at one point in time... used it on my dearest friend Kaj. who now lives in utter terror of it.. so.. the other day.. we were all standing and talking.. and somehow.. she brought up the eroscillator... and i had to sadly explain that it was dead... that i had killed it... she goes "you killed your erosothingie? and Master... almost as goofy as you can be... goes.. "wait!!! you killed a velociraptor??" hence.. the tshirt. I just burst out lauguin.

I almost roll inta tha bay as she mutters ta herself "it made more sense in my head at the time..." but i'm awready plannin, "oh, i cant wait to show them, thats CLASSIC "she killed it . . .with her PUSSY" " and she laughs "i knew right then that a) i would make the tshirt and b) you of all people would truly enjoy wearing it once you knew the back story" so I keed at it "i'd be afraid, but im too aroused" which causes her ta giggle "afraid of a pussy??" wind up, "hell YES, if it can kill a velociraptor, whats it gonna do to ME" which makes her cough "the question really is.. do you care that much? you would die happy...after all.. they did.." she wrinkled her nose "can i keep you alive instead?" so I tell her I prefer option TWO and she agrees, claimin the only use for a dead wuff is as a rug, and they STILL shed, that i give good hug and i cook and i make her smile. so alive it is, ok? I pipe up "or even undead" which she answers "either or" but then frowned .. thinkin. "but you aren't... so... planning to become undead?"

"err, no. i like bein me. and brains .. . kinda bland and mushy" I make a zombie face. She leans over and kisses me, face and all "i kinda like you being you too. lets catch more crabs and cook them over the fire in tha library, feed tha Family" I flick out my short sword with a flourish, she told me ta be careful with it in her face and grinnin we went swimmin and crabbin. I wanted to give Choi crabs, so she could take them back to share with Jon. I’m a givin critter.

Mission: accomplished!

Dimentox's Gift, Omega's Delight.

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A pencil entry, in a very messy hand, messier than normal dated 13-06-08
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It was a quiet night by tha fire. I was sittin listenin ta small talk when with a flurry Her Ladyship and Ry come in in a swirl of smiles. Brings a leap ta my heart ta see Her so pleased. A strong and happy Leader makes fer a strong and happy Family. Their small-talk is easy and light, matchin thier moods. Ry and me got a good thing goin. Him and My-She are like cousins. I like tha big lion. He's got style and my low sense of humour. He makes Her and She happy. What else could a critter ask fer in a brother? Tha peace don't last long though.

Beaumont, one of Dimentox's sprogs sauntered in with a snear and a waft of vaseline. Charmin fella. Considerin his Sire killed one of my Kin in tha Haven outta hand ta send a message i guess my opinion is coloured. Still. Tha contempt from tha man was thick in tha air. He comes in disdainfully sits and -tells- Her Ladyship we need more chairs, cause last time him and his brood-mates met, one of tha dears had ta stand. Do em good I say. Not like they work tha fields or anythin.

He makes some jibes ta Her Ladyship about tha company She keeps. How tedious it must be fer Her ta be surrounded by "flash in tha pan" bein's like me, Ry and all us "mortals". I remind him of tha sayin "tha candle that burns twice as bright..." cause he rankles my hackles. I know he could wipe tha floor with me, if he felt like it. His Sire's power surges through him. I can sense it. But I don't like tha assuption of superiority. Power don't make a better Bein. Her Ladyship made comment on how Dimentox had been content with how She ran things in Her House well before -he- had appeared "unsaught and unannounced"

Then he makes a tellin mistake. Like I say. I might not be his peer, but neither is he, Her peer. He remembered aloud that he had a message and a Gift fer Her from Dimentox, and crossed tha space from where he sat ta Her. Reached out ta touch Her. I outta respect fer Her, and ta show She didn't need any guards, but that she had them, I looked away. Left him ta do what he would. So I didn't see what happened. I just hear Her Ladyship call out "do NOT touch me, Childer", and he was rebuffed.

Now I watched him as he stood, glowerin for a moment, before turning his eyes on me and sayin ta her "fine then, I will give it to yer mutt instead." and zapped me. With, somethin. I felt like i'd had a bucket of warm water poured slow over me, warmin me. There was a smell of sudden blood. Tha smell ya get when someone next ta ya gets a fist sized hole shot outta their chest by a sniper, or if ya tear someones arm off. That blood spray smell. I sat, and wondered if I was dead but didn't know it yet. I sat for a second or two. Just breathin and blinkin. Was only a few days since I got Healed. I got stuff ta do, I don’t got tha time nor luxury of bein dead.

Beaumont sits back down as Her Ladyship goes off Her nut at him. Callin him fer touchin me, he backed outta that sayin he didn't -touch- me, which he didn't. He -zapped- me. She asked if I was awright. Ry looked nervously between us all. He's got spirit, my Lion-brother does, but this was heavier shit than he was expectin. Someone asked how I felt, if I was ok. I let em know I wasn't hurt, but I was pissed. Pissed and desperate not ta shame Her Ladyship by startin some shit in Tha Library of all places. So I stood up. Took my time. Casual as I could show. I reached and pushed Ry ta one side, partially ta give me clear line of sight, partially ta get him clear of tha danger zone and partially ta make a point ta Beaumont that his "gift" was ta no crazed mutt, but a Praetor of Tha Omega Institute, a proud and free Lycan.

I took a pad closer and addressed him as formal as I could. Thanked him fer Dimentox's Gift. Let him know it was appreciated, as was tha gesture and that I hoped his Sire would be happy it had been bestowed on a mear mortal, just a Lycan, and that in a few short years when I was dead and dust, the memory of tha Gift would still be cherished fer what it was. I stood, waitin, waitin, as Her Ladyship suggested in terms as sharp as tha onion chopper I wear at my side, just how much She thought of his stunt, that if Dimentox wanted ta send Gifts he was always welcome, as he ever had been, and had no need to send messenger boys.

Beaumont musta got tha hint. Got in a huff too, and told us Dimentox was too busy. That pretty much summed up his visit. Shortly after he made a break fer it and left us in peace. Once he did I sat back down and told em all again I was ok. Which I was. Felt kinda funny, but I was ok. Seemed tha effect of tha zappin had worked its way ta Her Ladyship roundabouts, must have been tha smell, cause as soon as She stopped bein angry, She headed fer tha stairs, callin ta Ry ta join Her, commenten in a husky voice that tha smell of blood had kinda distracted her. I quietly kept tha others occupied, givin Ry a sidelong smile and a wink. Talkin ta tha faces that came and went.

All too soon though, Rh had ta flit, a Pet's duties were never done, it seemed and it was with edgy steps that I heard Her Ladyship return, still distracted and restless. She walked past us all over ta tha far window and looked out. I caught Her eye and was a touch worried. I left tha others ta tha talk of Tha Reckonin, and their plans and motivations. Crossin tha floor I paused ta look ta both doors.
Force of habit. Never can be too careful. I pad over to tha far window where She waits. She's absent mindedly touchin tha window frame, lookin pailer than normal. I'm guessin that She didn't get much of a feed.

"Did you smell it? Smell the blood? It filled the room" I nod to Her. I more than smelt it, I felt it. She looks at me, and I get swept up in tha depth of Her history. Not age. History. I see tha Predator in Her, but know no fear in it. Its one way we're equals. I heard gossip that Her Ladyship feeds on all Her Praetors, but actually She don't. It ain't a part of tha job. She only feeds on a handfull all told. Several have held that Rank. Some never would. I don't know how She decides. I think its different fer each. But She only feeds from willin, healthy folks. She don't share. She's not over fond of, animals neither. I guess I’m kinda an exception. I always been in my Fleslie form for Her, previous. I see Her need. I feel it. It don't scare me, even though I seen what can happen. Tenguska. Poncho's throat all but torn out.

I pad up and asked Her if She wanted me ta Shift. She shook Her head. Fergettin, I figure, that it don't hurt me not a bit anymore. Just waves me close and holds me. She's warm, but less so than a Fleshie. Tha Fire-Within. Pale though, very pale. I offer her my hand, rollin wrist up ta show where my fur is thinist. Hair, hoof or horn. Don't bother me none, but Her Ladyship is discernin. With a sigh she looks up and asks. She always asks. Always asks and always uses my Name. I strengthen tha Family with my body and blood. I feed a friend, who I trust, and love. Its a bond of a pack. Ta share. Ta give.

She takes my wrist ta Her mouth and with a final look, ta my nod, She bit down. Here's tha thing. Ya take from life what it gives ya. At Her bite I hear tha wind in tha tall grass,that endless woosh of free scrub. Tha soft earth under paw, tha chase with tail held high. As I was, in my War-Form, I get big. I'm healin almost as fast as She's feedin. Tha call of tha wind is tha reminder as we leant against tha window. I'm still scannin, chow time's a perfect ambush time. Princess Miss strides by and I answer her grin and wave with a sleepy nod of my own. Her hunger is deep, but not urgent and I ain't fadin, not like durin tha New Moon.

Clingin, once She's had Her fill, I wrap Her in my arms, lettin tha feelin make itself known more than my crappy talkin can. I had clawed tha wall sometime as She had fed. Four gouges in tha stone, fresh and raw. I had marked Tha Library. I looked at my wrist, damp from Her mouth and red with a trickle of my blood. I knew in a flash what to do. Dippin a claw in my blood I started ta scribble in tha gouges my message. Footsteps, scent, voices.

My-She has come. I turned and grinned lazily ta her as tha two of them embraced. I kept scribblin as Her Ladyship told My-She that She'd just had a very sweet drop, and wondered if she'd like a taste herself. I winked ta My-She and kept scribin my message. Had ta be quick, or else it'd dry. I'd already fully healed. They kissed, deeply and My-She did get a taste of me from Her Ladyships still bloody lips. When they parted, both of em looked at me, nodding, as I finished my marks, then back to each other. Her Ladyship wondered aloud what My-She might taste of. "fire and spice, Lady" came the answer. Tha lights of passion were in both their eyes and my nose flared at tha smell of My-She's arrousal. Again, She asked, and My-She made it very clear she too, wanted to give, nurture and be Known by taste. Its our Way. In our Natures.

Her Ladyship held My-She close again, cradlin her head in one hand and slippin tha other down her spine ta tha base of her tail. Ta that sweet spot where ass meets tail and tail becomes spine. Tha hollow. Her Ladyship stretches up as My-She leans in and mouth meets neck. Fangs I know are there do their job and I see tha shudder roll through her. I finished my scribble and turn propper around, and take tha step ta touchin range, and wrap them both in my arms. Close, warm, and held. I got long arms, and even though i'm not as meaty as some of my Kin, not too boney. Tha fur helps too, I been told. Her Ladyship is gentle. She ain't have a reason ta rush, She's savourin and My-She knows it too, I think. Eventually they break and for a moment we just stand, held and holdin before Her Ladyship moves and with a smile moves off, ta take her seat passin Belshazaroth, who I think was pissy at not bein seen as a snacky-treat fer Her Ladyships amusement.

Like I said awready, She is paticular about who She feeds offa. Her Praetors ain't meal-tickets. She only takes what’s given. She don't drink from bags nor communal sources, be they Pools or Blood Dolls like Bel. I don't know why she choses some and not others. Ain't my business. My business is ta see ta tha needs, safety and security of my Family. I do so outta love, respect and instinct.

I was starvin. Whatever Dim's sprog had zapped me with was reduced ta a throb by Her Ladyship, so I suggested a trp to tha Diner for my special burgers. My-She, Blaze and me weœe gonna eat, Her Ladyship would join us for earthy company, and a feelin of tagetherness. Ta make sure My-She and me looked after our needs too. Which we did, burgers. Then fixed a gas-leak. Ask Choi about that sometime.

What did I scribe in my fresh, Dimentox-boosted blood inta tha livin stone of Tha Library? Tha start of somethin bigger. A warnin. A Mark.

I am GrrBrool.
I am a protector of this place
Bring no ill will,
Know no dread.

Healing Old Wounds

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Pencil entry dated 9/6/08 Two different pencils had to be used due to the length
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Dear ratty old notebook, I got some bloody brilliant news. i been runnin about doin stuff, feelin good, livin life to busy ta write about my amazin good fortune. My amazin friends. My amazin Family. My amazin love.

Last week I got a call that a body had been found, second one like it, and another set of eyes would be useful. I arrive as Jon, Poncho and Her Ladyship are talking quietly. They fill me in but there isn't much to tell about what was already a cleaned scene. "err, i think i need ta see tha first body . . i might be able ta tell somethin from it . ..bodies i know . . ." Poncho looks over to Her Ladyship to confirm, who nods. Poncho looks over "First body is in the morgue, follow me" Her Ladyship agrees "Yes, I think that is a wise idea" and we head over. When we get there I look about and speak quietly "Ladyship . . ." She answers, She always uses my Name. "Yes, GrrBrool?" I go on as I slide open the cabinet I smell fresh kill on, even with my Fleshie nose. "ya know, i hid out in here fer a while . . . always quiet in here, no one tryin ta Hunt, AND, tha smell masks mine . . ." I look at the body "so, whatcha gonna show me, meaty-chunks?"

Poncho hands me a folder, "Heres what we've recieved thus far." he's a good fella, sharp, deed seein, good head on his shoulders. A Leader. I look through the file. A letter. Crazy stuff. I look back at tha body. "huh. cut, fast slash, right ta left, sharp, maybe claw, could be a serrated knife, oooohkay. ya been gutted, aintcha? missin some liver, . . .good eatin in liver . .. looks like some of tha ribcage came away, thats some serious force . . . other organs just kinda shredded. I don't get fazed by meat, unless it's got a face I care about. Poncho nods, taking down the notes, surprised when I stop, hand still in the cavity and look up sharply. He don't have any idea what I got happenings with my hand deep in this dead woman. my whole body stiffens and i slowly pull his hand out, gripping the slab, Tha Pain has set in and I start ta rabbit on "muuk, fer. FUCKS. sshhhhhAKE." I pushe away from the slab, leanst the wall, gripping it, nails raking it "rrrrkkkk" Poncho looks puzzled, turning to Her Ladyship as I slide down the wall to ground level, clutching his chest and belly, smearing the girls blood over me. Her Ladyship raises an eyebrow and looks to Pontifex.. "the New Moon nears its end.. he changes, perhaps?" Poncho nods, "Nareth will be hunting again..."

I leaned my face agaisnt the cold wall panting, sweating . Bloody inconsiderate “ggguuuukhhhhccchhhh"
I punch the door of the next slab, breaking fingers like an idiot. Tha Pain. Not good. Her Ladyship steps forward, unsure what to do to help. I arch my back, and a sickenin poppin sounds out briefly. Her Ladyship tilts her head, eyes widening. She's not seen my Moon-Shift before. I’ve managed ta be elsewhere. No such luck this time. Too eager ta be useful. Failin at that too. " grrrruuh, rrruuuhhhaahhhh" Then it stops i stop shuddering, still panting, sweating, now clutching my banged up hand. "fuck this shit" I look up at Her Ladyship and Poncho "fuckin sorry, folks, guess we're occilatin. Moon must be wigglin on tha equator. fuckin Newton" Poncho is caught off guard by his own chuckle. I guess he's laughin with me, not at me. I just look pained, and feel embarassed. "I, i think i broke somethin. usually come good by now"
I hold up a swelling left hand, split knuckles. "erm, i think i better get some ice" Her Ladyship nods, I look to the body but She cuts me off. "Let's get you sorted out, hmm? We can finish this later - she's not going anywhere." but I can sum it up. she was gutted, awright, fer food, er ritual, hard ta say, though. i feel tha right plonker. bad timin, that. Her Ladyship shakes her head.. I grin, in spite of things, then flex my hand and frown. its broke, two fingers i think. I duck off, leavin Ponch with His Lady, lookin fer ice, mutterin to myself "great . . .now yer a wus AND a freak"


Later on, there was a bunch of us in Tha Library. We've been talkin Gods and Mortals. Dreams come up. I let slip about mine. Must be Tha Pain.Lari regards me "Are you fighting nightmares?" as My-She banters with Kaine "you can choose to refute hope and give up on dreams... or you can choose to chase them.. search for them.. find them... my choice is to chase them till they are mine" I tell Lari that I dream about Timor as Pix stares into the fire "sometimes dreams are all there is" My-She catches my line, bites her bottom lip and whispers "we will take care of part of that soon, my One.. today maybe.."
I just make a face "cant take away what i did, My-She" as Lari asks "Timor?" My-She reached over and wraps around me tightly ..whispering fiercely "being the most beautiful Being i know" I know. I go on though "yeah, Lari, little place north of Australia" Kaine still continues to sing to himself, I press on "lovely place, where children would dance and play and sing, and loving mothers bring cool drinks ta their loved ones . . .oh, wait, we killed them all" I shut up with a frown. Lari nods. "Your past hunts you, then?"
I try ta apologize "sorry, all, ya didnt need me ta say that" no one wants ta hear about tha monster I used ta be.My-She looks at me eyes aching with my pain "wasnt you, my One.. was The Soldier.."

Kaine pipes up too "I think I may take my leave.... I suddenly wish to forget the bitter taste of forsaken dreams" Her Ladyship nods solemnly to him. Lari gasps quietly, and nods, standing up, and crouching beside me She strokes his chin and made me look into her eyes so I lean forward and bumps heads with her then look up, catching Laris eyes in my own. bright yellow matching hers. We feel tha touch of minds. Her Ladyship sighs a little, looking concerned.."There is not one of us here without a little regret over the past, GrrBrool.." my eyes go wide as Lari touches my mind. My-She looked over my head, to Lady Omega.. biting her bottom lip as Pix silently nods in agreement, staring into the fire.

"gerk" Tha Pain has come back. I blink rapidly at Lari, and shudder as she just stares, her skin, even her eyes glowing, pulsing as she breathes. She keeps on staring after he blinks, still holding my chin. I know what’s coming. I try ta leave, ta spare them tha spectacle. I try to lift myself up on my broken hand and rolls to one side. Idiot. "gakh, aww, fuckkkiittt." can’t get away. Lari winces, and reaches to hold me up so I don't tumble too hard. My face screws up, I started twitching, jaw clenched tight. Her Ladyship sighs, watching. My-She watches.. helpless. "ahhhrrrrhkkkk" real captivatin speech. I just twitched and writhed, clutchin my chest and belly Some one I love calls "Grr????" I can’t tell who, it hurts too much. Lari glows even stronger, holding me gently by an arm, watching I shudder, calming, breathin slows to normal. Lari's doin. as she stared into my eyes, so she slowly disappeared, takin a trip in me. Then with a sudden burst, fur sprouts, bones shift, spine rolls, tail grows, joints pop and roll the way only a Shifters can, and I just curl inta a ball. I can hear My-She start to reach for me, then tha creak of tendons as she pulls back. Her Ladyship winces at my pain. I hear it over my pantin I relax, steamin, and sit up.

Pix's smile is wary. She's seen it before. My-She whispers so so so softly "please help me to fix this, Goddess, please.." I padded carefully to her, drapin an arm and she nuzzled softly against me. I looked over to Her Ladyship and around tha room. "i'm so sorry ya all saw that". Well, that set My-She right off. "will you STOP apologising for this!!??!!?? each and every one of us loves you, you goofy mutt. LOVES. not just .. yeah ok, hes a nice enough guy. LOVES, so stop being a nit". I could just barely nod. Pix chimes in "She's right Grr, and you know it" I tried ta make my self clear. "well, thats why i dont want ya ta see it, yeah?" My-She croons to me "baby" before Lari grined to My-She "Well he is just modest." I feel I gotta explain. I ain't groppin fer sympathy or pitty. "what kinda sick thing ya think i am, huh?" but its Her Ladyship's turn "Should I apologise, GrrBrool, for being a Vampire? Would you like me to offer you an apology for that?"

Lari tilts a head to Omega, laughing. Pix kicks in "Grr, all of that is part of who you are, just like Lar can show you her wings and I can yell at you. We love you" Makes me feel worse, it ain't what I mean at all. " no, Yer Ladyship, I just dont want ta show all that pain." My-She gets fierce at me "then tough guy.. allow me to try to take that pain away?" Her Ladyship is on a roll though, "And what of Mirah. Look at her! Whiskers sprouting from her cute face. Should she apologise? Perhaps Pix might apologise for her wings." She shakes Her head. I reply real low. "I, um, it aint tha Change i'm sorry fer." My-She mutters "whiskers tickle" Pix agrees, "wings are useless". I go on real quiet. They ain't heard me. "Please. dont make me show this anymore, please." but Her Ladyship is riled "It's an insult to all of us, to think we would require an apology. Because you feel pain. And should we hide from you, then? Our pains, our joys? I whimpered "i dont want ya ta see it" My-She "oh my One... the very last thing any of us want is for you to be in pain, ever, but share it with you, we will. until we can make it disappear. and i am going to try to do that" I just balled up, curled up, putting my arms over my head. Her Ladyship noded to her, and she went on. "i would love to see you live your Changes in the joy they used to be for you" then she reached into a small pouch and pulled out a couple tiny metal balls, and rolled them onto the rug.

"may i show you what i am thinking...? these metal balls are not the same composition of metals as the shrapnel.. but." I relaxed again, and looked as My-She's eyes seem to change .. almost looking metallic.. her gaze is into some distant place, then I peaked at tha balls as her lips moved, without sound, and her fingers swirl the air with softly glowing streaks. Pix carefully walked up to me smiling gently and kisses the top of my head "rest easy, we all love you" before rising and walking away "take care all". At first I didn't see anything happening to tha balls but gradually their edges become fuzzy looking.. their smoothness was gone. more quickly, they seemed ta erode from all sides, becoming smaller.. paler... dimmer..until they disappear. I watched intently as My-She leaned back, breathing softly, her eyes changing to their normal bright colour." it isn't exactly the same... but.. like that, much much more care of course.. this is inside you..." I looked from her to Her Ladyship and back. I saw tha approval in Her eyes. "and much healing and patching needs to be done too and scar tissue to heal..but.. i can .. i think"

I curled into My-She's lap "do it, when yer ready, do it, i don't love my pain, i hate it. i hate it cause it stops me from bein . . me, it huts ta see ya all hurtin, do it. i'm more afraid of tha looks in yer eyes than what might happen. Do it." She stroked my fur softly and whispered "here.. now.. you in my lap.. our Lady at our sides? what of the penance you seek?". "fuck penance. my pain aint gonna hurt no one else." She kept strokin my fur.. "alright... but i have one request first" I can smell her tears. And feel Her Ladyships gaze. "kiss me first?" how could I refuse?

I looked up, bright yellow eyes, sparkling, lovingly, as i kissed her, muzzle softly pressing, she responds to the kiss, passionately... pulling away gently, she whispered "I love you GrrBrool" my heart lept. But I stood my ground. I sat up, leant over and hugged Her Ladyship, Omega, around the waist swiftly, leaning up to rub my muzzle agaisnt Her cheek and pulling back to look Her in the eyes. She held me tight, whispered.. "all will be well..."

My-She said softly "you will be awake.. you will see both of us.. here with you.. ok?" as I give a posture of total relaxation, tail wagging slolwy, eyes lidded, hunkered down looking from one to the other, utterly, UTTERLY secure."i will try hard to make sure it wont hurt at all" I tell her. "pain and me .. . got a special two fer one deal, My-She, dont you worry aboiut that one little bit" she goes on some "and i want you to tell me anything you feel ok? i do worry about it.. the last thing on earth i ever want is to hurt you"
I shook out my head, back, arms, my whole body, grabed my bag, and sword, and gently undid them, and sent them skittering under tha couch. I tell My-She i'll see her on tha other side, either way. She growled.. "no talking like that. you will be awake.. here.. talking..." she scooted over.. snuggling me between Her Ladyship and herself.. wrapped her arms around me. "baby.. it will be ok.. YOU arent going ANYwhere. promise" Reminds me how much longer tha two of em have been about. I look from face ta face. I tell them I believe. That I got . . .Faith.

Mirah McGuire smiles at the Lady, and beams at me " i could do this encased in a full ritual..calling the quarters.. setting the wards.. calling the guardians.. but.. there are three of us here..three is the perfect number and She is with us always. i lay still as I can breathng softly, mouthing a prayer ta Coyote and tha Goddess that my body lets her work. That I don't fight her. Merma comes in and greets, open-mouthed. "so.. simply... Mother.. we seek healing for the Being we love, GrrBrool.. i, Your Priestess, ask for Your wisdom, Your healing skill, Your love and Your Blessings in this Work... thus i have prayed, in perfect Love and in perfect Trust.. so mote it Be"

Merma's eyes widened looking around"what happened to grr?" I hear Her Ladyship say "He's fine, Merma.. we heal an old wound." and My-She continues, sparing a smile for Merma as always.. "nothing .. well nothing new... i am .. we are.. seeking to heal old wounds" Merma nods looking between them both "do you need assistance?" My-She stroked her hand softly over my cheek, shaking her head, "not in the actual work, but love and adding to the power would be very welcome" Merma nods and goes the cushion near us "I will pray then." My-She starts the Working. Moving tiny atoms.. patching wounds the doctors could never touch so long ago.. i lay as still as i can, just my ears and tail twitching. I see through Lari's gift as My-She finds a jagged piece of shrapnel.. accepts the agony .. fire.. from the cold iron, and Merma clsoes her eyes praying softly opening her energies for her use. She feels Merma's beautiful spirit along with Lady Omega's... as she slowly .. painfully works not only to disintegrate the cold iron that is tearing at her soul.. but to heal the tears and wounds and scars it's caused inside me. She continues slowly, scanning.. moving tiny atoms.. pushing things back into the shape they should be. Several pieces of shrapnel lodged near and in my spine require very slow close intense concentration... rejoining nerves.. making sure their spark travels as it should.... the pain of the cold iron numbing her extremities now. She whispered soothing words in several different languages.. eyes still far far away.... fingers moving over me body, directing her Work.. Through Lari's ghost eyes I see Her Ladyship hand grip tha arm of the chair as She watches. Merma kept prayin softly with her eyes closed. delicately.. easing a piece of metal away from his spine while healing the flesh as the shrapnel erodes.. filling the hole it leaves with healing flesh and sinew and blood and bone...

I twitches twice, and get still, she slides over the area making sure all the shrapnel around my spine is gone.. that everything seems right.. whispering "GrrBrool, wiggle your toes and fingers please?"
I wriggled fingers, left hand, right hand. I wriggled toes, left foor, left foot. I wriggled my tail. My-She whisperd a soft thank You to Tha Goddess as she continued.. searching my body, healing, the touch of the shrapnel .. the deep numbness is spreading and Lari sees that My-She knows she doesn’t have much more time.. she has to finish healing him before..... before..something. She finds a large piece is against my heart.. so close.. so dangerous.. atom by atom ..slowly eroding it.. agony lancing through her.. to fall off into the dark numbness that is slowly filling her... patching the wound.. healing the Being she loves... Me. Desperate to finish this Work before she cannot continue.. Her Ladyship watches Mirah, her brow furrowing..

My-She, deep in her search whispered "deep breath... tell me .. does it hurt?" She scans his lungs wondering how I survived these wounds... wishing she had been there to help me back then... It hurts, but it’s a healin hurt. Like bein shot, er stabbed. Not tha long ache of an untended wound “rrrr, no, feelin . . .peachy” is all I can muster, I don’t wanna et her feel anything but confidence, and success. She passes hands over me finding one more grouping of shrapnel.. its all she can see... eyes darkening... eroding the pieces with a little less finesse.. healing carefully as she can.... then she whispered try.. “try changing”. Her Ladyship watches intently, her eyes shifting to Merma who whispered softly ta herself. My-She watched me carefully... looking for wounds hidden from sight.. sees none.. Merma looked up still mumbling softly watching mirah intently. I nod. I lay, hesitant, waitin for tha pain as Lari’s eyes show me My-She as tha dark cold fills her .. she clings to awareness.. has to see if im awright. Merma sees it too, moved closer to her askin softly "are you okay?". I get ready, I sighed and rolled inta a ball. My She doesn't answer... watching . feeling.. waiting. I roll tighter inta a ball.

I Changed!

In a flash, a bright, beautiful flash inside my eyes, held from me for years now. I Changed with no pain. I am in my four-leg form so i sat upright wagging tail and panting as My-She lets slip a tear and collapsed. Her Ladyship leans forward in her chair and Merma reaches out to My-She stopping her from hitting the floor, quickly her hand changes colour to black and starry light motes entering her body healing and soothing. I lean in, nuzzles My-She and lick at her cheek, murmuring in my native tongue of growls, yip, and chirps. I whimpere and looked ta Merma and Omega closed my eyes and swiftly Changed again.
Her Ladyship rises swiftly from her chair, leaning over Merma who frowned as beads of sweat show on her forhead "I dont understand.. its not working like it should." Her Ladyship looked to Merma, nodding slightly, decision made.. but I’m faster to act.

I scooped My-She up, she weighs nothing at tha best of times, and now, I have tha rush of life in me and I glow. Literally. Her Ladyship tears a glove off. bites savagely at her right wrist, tearing flesh with her fangs... as I begin ta chant outloud, in tha language of tha Wild. None there would know what I said, and I don’t feel like sharin, but this is what it woulda sounded like in case ya hear it again.

“aashuah nae ruak sheeneaah frrauah cheena han sha newferas nee hans soo alliea ba ne go cha nee whron, cha ne sh vata ne ro vata ne shuan! VATA NE Sh-AHN!”

Tha call was between me, Coyote and Tha Goddess.


Her Ladyship holds her wrist out, nodding to me..”Feed, Mirah..” as I called down the elemental forces of the Wild and started ta glow from within with a golden red light as it filled me. Her Ladyship brought her dripping wrist close to Mirah's lips.. as I made my own Working.

“aashsunaka ara she no ma naeee i sha SHE mana She MATRE SHE”

Again, its between Coyote, Tha Great Mother and me. But I think ya get tha idea what I was askin fer.

The scent... the blood.. the.. other... calls My-She to feed, gasping in agony and beauty as the fire races through her, she leant in Her Ladyship growled low in her throat, her tone commanding.. “FEED.” My-She yowled, an unearthy sound.. and started feedin almost ravenously... I loomed, filled with an essence greater than my body could hold, standing taller and larger than most have seen a mortal do. I breathed in, holding the breath of the room stilled. I breathed out, to the sound of Chinook wind. Her Ladyship snarled, forcing herself to stand still and My-She gasped.. blood dripping down her chin.. and blinked.. eyes open but still unseein. Flames reflected inside her eyes for the briefest second.. then they cleared and she saw Lady Omega standing right there as I held her in my arms, eye ta eye with Her Ladyship, “Lady... is ... he .. is ....” Her Ladyship replies “He's fine Mirah.. just fine..” and I bend my head down to kiss her in my arms, before startin dancin about the room gently with her in his arms. She sees the blood on herself, on Her Ladyship, on my muzzle from the kiss and asks "what...... who .. " then realises the room is whirling and she realised who’s strong arms are holding her.. "Grrrr???" as I lick her face clean of tears and blood and worry.

Her Ladyship steps back, sinking into a chair, cradling her wrist.. as I still dance. My-She catches a glimpse of Lady Omega.. and wiggles out of Grr's arms to race to her, kneeling at her feet “ Lady... oh Goddess, Lady what have You done?.” I can barely contain myself. Its been so long, and the pain is gone. “Nothing, Mirah.. only what I could. You are all right?” My-She cried again, I could smell it "for me?.. i ... " My eyes were still glowing, as I winked to Merma "thanks" as Her Ladyship gives Her blessing “of course for you..for both of you..” The Two are close in talk “i dont know how to thank You” My-She turns to Merma.. “or you.." I gleefully Shifted one more time, back to my native form. One too many, I guess after what I’d been through, after a Summonin, a Channelin, and a Workin. I stood there, standing close on my four paws, wobbling fer a moment as exhaustion kicked in. I kinda made a happy yip, wagged my tail, and did something really sissy. I passed out.

I had had a big day

Why I talk like I do.

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Pencil note, scribbled in a passably legible hand. Dated 3/6/08
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I got ta thinkin, after some laughin yesterday. I don’t talk pretty, I don’t get some of tha tricky double meanins of words sometimes. I think I do awright but. Thing is, I learnt ta talk after getting yanked from Melbourne Zoo by tha DSTO goons who dropped me off to tha 7RAR-L. What’s tha big deal ya ask? How long did it take ya ta learn ta talk? When did ya start? How many kids were in ya class? Did ya family all come around ta see ya? Let me tell ya, that’s not how it went fer me.

They got a special program fer us ferrals, tha Four-Leggers, ta educate and train. It'd start with another , older Shifter cominin and establishin dominance, and communicatin like that, buildin a bond. Same one came in when I was Fleshie and did tha same till I got it. Then there was object ID: ball, box, chair. Kids stuff. Just like any Fleshie family would, I guess, except I was full grown. A man ta look at. Retarded, some mighta thought, some stupid enough ta say after I learnt what it meant. Eventually they got tha picture. As soon as I was good enough ta get taught other stuff say, sam Trainin. Took about a year ta get there. I got lots of exercise durrin that year too, mind, and Shiftin practice, so I could take all my forms as I pleased, Moon phase allowin. I'm a fast learner. I read slow, but I never had much ta read or time ta do it in.

When I 'graduated' from talkin school I had been house-trained and given tha basics of Fleshie social skills. Only as much as was needed fer a Drill Sergeant ta work with. All that "Sir, yes Sir" stuff, military indoctrantion, weapons and tactics and tha like. That’s when I got tha specialized anti-non-human trainin too. With that came folklore, myth and both sciency and arcane learnin. How did all thif affect how I talk? Well, I learnt ta talk proper in tha baracks, with tha other Snarls. I been told I swear a lot, well, what did ya fuckin think, I was gunna do? Stuck way out in tha bush 2 days run from a town, on a secret Army base inland north Queensland.

Tha other thing I got was movies. Unlike my Two-Leg cousins, I never grew up in Fleshie society, fer better or worse. That meant I didn't "get" a lot of thins about how Feshies did stuff, and they couldn't afford ta let me lose in public, we got kept on-base any time we weren't in-country. So I got ta watch a lot of movies. Some of them were even required learnin. Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, Rambo: First Blood, Sniper, Heartbreak Ridge, Hamburger Hill, Gladiator, Navy SEALS, Predator, Henry V, Black Hawk Down, We Were Soldiers, 300, Dog Soldiers, Galipolli, Tha Light Horsemen, Aliens, Soldier, Patton, Tha Battle of Tha Bulge. All kinds of good stuff in there. Taught me all kinds of thins about Fleshie society and how ta be a good soldier. How ta talk socialy. How ta interact with civilians.

So if ya wonder some time why I talk like I do, think who taught me ta, and how.

Medical Report. Field Veterinary Hospital 3. 7RAR-L . East Timor. Operation: Red Moon

GrrBrool Lykin OOC backstory, some details and likely the whole thing will come out IC, but in dribs and drabs, ask, and he will probably talk . . .
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Medical Report. Field Veterinary Hospital 3. 7RAR-L . East Timor. Operation: Red Moon
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Combat Surgeons Report 19/06/2004
Case 0178
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Lycan 0571. Platoon Sgt GrrBrool.
Gender: Male.
Breed: Canine.

Initial Assessment: massive thoracic and abdominal trauma resulting from near direct hit from 90mm artillery. Left thigh partially de-fleshed. Left arm multiple compound fractures. Massive blood loss and extensive shrapnel wounding. The fact it is still alive at all is a testament to how hardy these things are. This one was recovered by chance following after-action clean up at dawn after heavy counter-offensive. Subject was caught in the open during a barrage and was found in a crater under bodies and debris.

Triage:
Subject delivered by MediVac in "hybrid" state having been given field transfusion of 6 units plasma + 8 units autologous RBC.
Some innate regenerative healing had already occurred, stabilizing the Subject to some extent. Despite massive trauma, organ damage and/or loss and blood-loss,
Subject was still responding reflexively whilst unconscious, and as unlikely success appeared, according to protocol, due to its value, emergency surgery was attempted.

Procedures:
Emergency transfusion continued.
Thoracic cavity was irrigated and debrided following venus and arterial closures and/or clamping was effected.
Silver nitrate euthanasia system in place as standard precaution if Subject regained consciousness. (Records later showed Subject is not affected by typical Lycan silver anaphylactic reaction, gold has similar effect in this case. WE NEED TO HAVE THIS KIND OF DATA PEOPLE !!)
Surgical removal of shrapnel + debris from thoracic cavity complicated by deep lodgment in spinal column and proximity to heart. Thigh and arm wounds comparatively simple to attend.
Subjects innate regenerative ability dramatically reduced but still observable.

Prognosis:
Subject may eventually return to active duty status following recovery. Recommend follow-up surgery NOT be attempted to remove remaining thoracic + spinal shrapnel. It should re able to function without risking killing it with further invasive surgery.
Recommend Level 3 containment throughout recovery period due to recovery pain and its Canine breed.
Again, the fact it made it back here to the table is nothing short of miraculous. If we had more of these things I could retire.

Time, passes

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Pencil note in hasty, messy scribbles, written in several sessions dated 27/5/08
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Seems I been so caught up in tha four walls of Tha Library I have missed stuff out in tha city. I feel kinda torn between two sets of duties. I keep tha late watch, tha wee small hours when most of Toxia sleeps. Tha hour of tha wolf till tha cold grey hours before tha dawn. Means I miss most of tha traffic, but I meet tha lurkers and crazies. Tha big news mostly passes over me as I curl in tha corner upstairs or in a dark corner. Just tha way it is. Nocturnal, I guess.

Portia reminds me, gives me an earful that she never sees me anymore, that i'm always cooped up in ta safety of Tha Library. I don’t argue it, I have been. It don't matter that I got duties and catchin up ta do. I need ta get out more. Yet, I got stuff I been doin. Learnin, bein a face of tha Institute. Seein ta tha well bein of my Family. And still, I’m a workin Shifter. I need a mission. Purpose I got. Station I got, I been wonderin if I’m doin enough. Who knows. Poncho knows, that’s who. Tricky bugger has been lookin at tha books, checkin tha chalks and doin tha numbers.

We had some damn awful luck recent like with Praetors. Arcann, Lorne. Totally different ways, but still. Nareth's been gone a long time too. I know she comes in now and then with tha King Tide, but her seat is lonely. New faces, or at least, new ta tha roles, Joah, Merma and Lari have been promoted ta reward service and so we got extra hands ta keep busy. Just like back in tha 7RAR-L, we got section heads. Bloody good thinkin. Exactly what I needed. We got our Covert Ops, headed by Comerade Bork, Her Ladyships Left Hand (gotta keep operational security ya know. Media + Public Relations is Poncho's baby. Paranormal Studies will go ta Joah I figure, bein tha lab-coaty type. Magical Research seems likely ta go Lari's way, beein recenty back from tha beyond herself and all Agelified.

Library operations I think might go ta Merma. She's got an affinity fer book learnin. Her Ladyship and Poncho asked me ta look over tha list and see if there was anythin that struck my fancy. Ya know, there was one thin, one job that seemed ta jump out at me and latch on. I just grinned my most canine toothy grin at em both and handed tha list back ta Poncho sayin what ta some mighta been tha furthest from their minds. Somethin ya might think me mad ta suggest.

Diplomacy.

I'm gonna take tha job of tha Institute's Diplomatic Praetor. Ha. If only Drill Sgt Cunninham could see me now. Never thought he'd toilet train me and teach me ta eat my Kibble'n'Pal with my FRED (thats P38 ta ya septics) and now I’m gunna be representin a movin and shakin civilian research Institute in a volatile target rich environment. He'd be spittin chips if one of tha other SNARL's hadn't torn off his arms after one too many slaps with his marshalin crop.

I know it's Poncho's old post. I know a lot rides on it. I hope I can hold my head up ta tha task. I got friends in all tha Factions, more or less. No enemies ta speak of, fer my part. I been around long enough that folks get ta know my face and scent. I figure they can trust me ta be me, at least. So, respect i'll see if I get, but with Coyote's favor and tha Goddess' grace, i'll do a good job, come back with my shield, or on it, as they told us they used ta say in tha swords'n'spears days.

Sometimes ya just have ta wait and watch, and somethin good wanders in front of ya on tha trail. I was worried I was just bein a fireside General. I'm no Sir, I work fer a livin, now I got somethin ta do. Just gotta show My-She that there is a place fer her in tha Institute, that tha unique spark she's got, Priestess, High and humble is just as important as tha Nephilum, tha Angels and tha Elder fuckin Fangers who start ta go toe-ta-toe with them fer years. That a witch is just as needed as a broken soldier Shifter like me. I know what it is ta run alone, ta follow and ta lead. It was drilled inta me beyond instinct. I hope I can show her. Tha Family's stronger with her. Takes all kinds in this Family. It's what makes us, us.