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in pencil, letters three lines high, dated 31/7/08
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dont ever do that again, it sucked
just in case - angel blood
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Bloody Shadows!
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Pencil entry, hastily written in a very messy hand. dated 27/7/08
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Bloody Shadows have been messin with tha Library. I came in and i could smell them. a bunch of em. Kishi, Blue, Quiet, some more. They had been in there, and there was a splatter of blood. Two splatters. Tasted of Kishi and Blue, i think. How did i know? well, i've treated Kishi's wounds i know her, and tha other? Hard not ta work that flavour out. I've tasted her kind before. There was a book on tha floor. Some sorta Pommey bondage and spankin book. Odd, but then i thought about it. Thats tha kinda thing they did. Fair enough. Weird, but fair enough.
Then a book fell off tha shelf. Not awready layin there, but fell off. Thats a sign. thats the Library talkin to me. It was a Fleshie History book, Europe early last century, before WW2. Full page picture of a giant mound of books, burnin. I looked at tha blood, and then at tha book. I looked at tha bookshelves and tha fire, and back to tha blood. "i aint gunna let that happen, Library . . " was all i could say. i got a feelin of smug self assurance. Weird that. it felt like it came from tha Library itself.
I gotta go, my mouth is burnin a bit, like Agent Orange, or somethin. There's someone outside too, i got a Duty.
Pencil entry, hastily written in a very messy hand. dated 27/7/08
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Bloody Shadows have been messin with tha Library. I came in and i could smell them. a bunch of em. Kishi, Blue, Quiet, some more. They had been in there, and there was a splatter of blood. Two splatters. Tasted of Kishi and Blue, i think. How did i know? well, i've treated Kishi's wounds i know her, and tha other? Hard not ta work that flavour out. I've tasted her kind before. There was a book on tha floor. Some sorta Pommey bondage and spankin book. Odd, but then i thought about it. Thats tha kinda thing they did. Fair enough. Weird, but fair enough.
Then a book fell off tha shelf. Not awready layin there, but fell off. Thats a sign. thats the Library talkin to me. It was a Fleshie History book, Europe early last century, before WW2. Full page picture of a giant mound of books, burnin. I looked at tha blood, and then at tha book. I looked at tha bookshelves and tha fire, and back to tha blood. "i aint gunna let that happen, Library . . " was all i could say. i got a feelin of smug self assurance. Weird that. it felt like it came from tha Library itself.
I gotta go, my mouth is burnin a bit, like Agent Orange, or somethin. There's someone outside too, i got a Duty.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Zion, Zion, where is Zion?
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pencil entry, dated 26/7/08
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I patted the stone fondly and slipped inta my Library home. Its like a warm and dry cave, quiet. Like a den. I’m always safe there, nothing bad can happen to me there. Not now. It looks after Its own. Marvin tha Bot is there, all stiff and golden. I like tha guy, hes shy, and clean. Smells of ozone a bit, but at least he don’t leak oil. Doesn’t think like a Fleshie, either, which is nice. Good ta have another non-human about. “allo” he says, scratchin his head “why are you crouched on the floor?” See, I like that. He asks questions when stuff doesn’t make sense ta him. Direct and easy ta live with. “me? well, see, this is where i grew up, with my head close to the ground, it looks natural from down here” HE nods and clanks out. Problem solved.
Zion tha Coven Oracle ran into the library, his face red, totally freaked out. "Aw, Grr, there you are!" odd, as I barely knew tha guy, but he looked in need, and I try ta help any what come callin. So I greet him friendly, never once tried ta cut his head off or threaten ta send HIM home to Arcann in pieces. I'm hospitable like that. Even after my run in with tha Head of tha Housewives last week when I casully popped my head in. Luckily he don’t think I’m too bright so he'll probably keep thinking me walkin in the front door was just clumsy espionage.
Either way, Zion the Oracle lame in need, and kinda freaked me by almost puttin his arms around me and then stops. "Erm.. well. You know me?" he's breathin heavy and holdin his forehead. I ask him "your brain explodin?" and he falls into a chair. "Damn it, Grr, this is me, Abby" that takes me by surprise, just a little. Zion just sits there holdin his head with two hands, shaking it. I pad up close and poke "him". Zion sighs, rolls his eyes and huffs a "Yeah". That’s Abby awright, I recognise her body language.
Zion, clench fisted, sits as his reddened face slowly gets back ta Fleshie normal, and he speaks at a fast pace "I... I thought it would be fun to try if it works. You know, a hunch, I couldnt resist. It worked all too well" I tried tha next trick in my bag, i looked at Zion and unfocussed my eyes, looking Within. Lookin inta tha Spirit. Zion swallows, and from Within, Abby looked back at me. "Yeah, I am her. All trapped, by my own ingenious trick" Zion pokes out a tongue. What is a critter ta do? "ok... Abi, thats FUCKED up, you know its bloody rude ta possess folks? and where is Zion? in there? pushed to tha back, vanished? evasporated? quashed, sharin?" Zion holds his head still, groanin. "I didnt really think much about that, but yeah, he popped into my precious, beautiful, pretty little body and..." He clenches his fist again, slamming it into the other "He is touching it and is being slutty and all"
Tha self-centered brat! "dammit Abi, a persons body is their own . . . thats oh, well, fairs fair then, HA" the idea of body swappin is distressin, but somehow, the distress that i'm seein looked ta be valuable, and it sounded tha real Zion was not too much of a threat. It sure riled Abbi.. " No fucking WAY, I want it back. But... ther.... is... a problem with that. I just can't" Zion went back ta holdin his head. So I got ta thinking again, “hmm, well, where is err, Zion now? and with who?” Zion just looks up and shrugs, befer answerin “Griffith.... at the Coven tried to reverse the spell, but You see. Here I am. I am not sure where Abby/Zion is now. That ain’t good. I always like ta know where my body is at all fuckin times. “you know, just in case, maybe we should go find him, her, it, . . .your body . . Sympathetic Magic and all . . . better if closer. This astral stuff really aint my bag, I’m a flesh and earth kinda shaman, good fer what ails tha body, I don’t like it when folks are messin with their Spirits. It aint Natural.
Zion shrugs and waves, without hope. "The Coven is on it. And I told the shadows too." Well, don’t that just take tha fuckin cake. Now tha denizens of tha Pit are in on it, we can expect mischief of an epic bloody scale. I think I expressed myself clear when I said” oh, great, now yer in tha shit . . . and like you haven’t tried out yer new male parts neither .. ha” Tha next thing surprised me though, he kinda blushed and squirmed. “Fuck, Grr, that was the most terrifying thing happening to me, you know. I had these demon girls all around me, and... he looks down between his legs and his face gets redder. Thank tha Goddess, they didn’t mess him up any worse than a good flirtin at. I think I can relax a bit, knowin that’s tha kind of reaction ta expect. SO I try ta cheer ‘em up “demon gals rock, luv, they really do” which leads Ziaon ta look at me funny, and say “Even the thought of that girl.... Yeeesh. It is hard to be a man.” Zion chuckles and leans back, covering his eyes with both palms.
“awright, if yer up ta it, we need ta get you over there i think” tha Coven, if they’re awready workin on it, best get all the afflicted tagether. unless ya need ta scrump it outta yer system a bit first? ya know, sow Zions wild oats a bit . . . I kinda lear, winkin, jutting an elbow out making nudging gestures. Zion pulls his palms down his face, regardin me with raised eyebrow. "You mean I shouldnt fight it?" Silly bloody Fleshies, always tryin ta fight their bodies over tha little stuff, then go and rampage when its destructive and againt Nature . . .”no dont fight it! fuck ya can't fight NATURE, luv, mate, whatever . .ha” HE just looks up at me with those eyes and fer a minute, I see inta them, tat ha soul that’s actually in there. He looks at me with wide eyes, breathing heavily. "You know that I never had sex, right?" Time ta wield tha stick again . . “well, yer soul might not have, who can say what yer body has been up ta? Zion bites his lip, thinking. "If you say so..." then he even bites his fist. "I had this surge of feelings, all over..." Poor sod.
“Look ,all im sayin is that if ya can bear it, ya should follow Nature's call. Nature knows tha Way” Zion shook his head to clear it. "I... this is out of control, damn it. I felt this great power, but it took control over me" I just leared, I figured which he meant, but I was rammin tha point home, so ta speak. "And now I meant the magic not the lust" he pipes up “they are often one and tha same, ya know? some folks channel one with tha other” I take a moment ta pad close and sniffs Zion's body all over, memorising his scent. No chance of losin him if there was a problem. Coverin my bases, tha septics would call it. Zion makes a face. "Anyways, now we could swordfight like... you know." Folks thin ki got a one track mind, but I’m just focussed. “err, with our cocks? i'd just as soon . . .not . . . if its awright with you . .. i leave that to Tha Pack. ow, right, trainin” like I say, one track. He laughed "Jeez, of course" Its half my nature, half me keeping it in his mind. Her mind, whatever . . . “gotcha. just hinkin of tha possibilities”
Zion rolls his eyes. "Guys" Ha, yeah, tha male of his species, not known fer their subtle breedin rituals. Well, mine neither, either side of tha Kin line. “wonder if Arcann has scrumped yer body yet? tha Coven are like that ya know, so i hear” That was mean of me, but I’m relentless, once I got a grip, I shake till I get my meal. Zion 's eyes snapped wide "WHAT?" What do you mean, damn it, we have to tie her up and put her in a cell. frowns "And hybernate her" I’m on a roll now, so I keep up tha fire . . “mhmmm, that'd stop him, sure, nothin like a unconcious body ta tell a guy "no"” and I just grin wickedly. “so, am i convincin ya well enough how BAD an idea this was?” I pause for a moment to let that one finish sinkin in then use another flank “got any tattoos? i got a couple. took a bit of doin, bein a Shifter and all but they're fer life . . .
Zion rolls his eyes, typical Abby. "I get it now, ok. And I have no idea if I have tatoos. I have not yet looked at... myself. And yeah, I smell." i keep rambling about my tatts “don't heal away . . . same with my major scars. no no, i dont mean THIS body .. .” and I lean over and poke Zion's body in four or five spots all at once. “i mean YER body. any tattoos?” and grin wider. “but, a shower we can arrange . . .” tha penny drops, I can almost hear it. Zion squeaks, most un-manly, ha “ Abby? Tatooos? What the? WHy?”
I just peek on firin away, suppressive fire of tha mind “and ya might want ta explore yer body a bit, know where all tha sore spots are” got him in a right state now, but at least there aint time fer mopin or poutin. We’re gonna get some action. Even if its simple, it’s a start. Zion just keeps sayin “Shit” cause tha depth of vulnerability has truly dawned. “well, mate . . hun . . .Abi . . . ya MIGHT by now . . .Zion stomped his feet frantically. Pouty behaviour. Gotta head that shit off. “lets get ya cleaned up, then we can go sort this out, maybe. you two need ta set some rules . . .i take it HES not vengeful?” Zion looks at me from standin as I stay in my happy crouch,his hands still on his face “a know, tha sort ta tattoo "my name is Zion" on yer forehead?” Zion gets it tagether a bit and replies “ He seems to enjoy this, damn it. He is all over touching himself, and stuff.” And shivers. “well, yer body is kinda unusual, even fer Tox. c'mon, shower, then we can talk.” Zion sighed, sniffin himself. "Okay" I say “awright, Hotel has showers that work” and we head over there. He walks like Abby. That’s a good sign too. Easy ta track, funny how much tha mind governs tha body. More proof that meat is just meat.
We get ta a hotel room, I shoulder tha door open, and scope tha place out, before I brace it back closed. Zion heads for tha bathroom and I sit but its door, facin out. Fleshies like their privacy, I know, shy about their bald bodies, I guess. I tell Zion I’ll just wait there. He strips down and gets a surprise when he gets all bare. “whoa” I hear him say as his belt hits tha floor. “best thing ya can do is wash all over, you'll get used ta how ya feel, and look . . .trust me . .havin a new body is quite a weird bloody thing.
Zion groaned and mumbled, I kept talking “i have THREE, ya know . . .” poor bugger almost choked. “WHAT?” I have a quick peek in, he’s starin down at his groin “three bodies, i got three bodies, this is my War Form, i got Fleshie, and my natural one.”
This is gunna be fun, he thought I meant three sets of genitals.
pencil entry, dated 26/7/08
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I patted the stone fondly and slipped inta my Library home. Its like a warm and dry cave, quiet. Like a den. I’m always safe there, nothing bad can happen to me there. Not now. It looks after Its own. Marvin tha Bot is there, all stiff and golden. I like tha guy, hes shy, and clean. Smells of ozone a bit, but at least he don’t leak oil. Doesn’t think like a Fleshie, either, which is nice. Good ta have another non-human about. “allo” he says, scratchin his head “why are you crouched on the floor?” See, I like that. He asks questions when stuff doesn’t make sense ta him. Direct and easy ta live with. “me? well, see, this is where i grew up, with my head close to the ground, it looks natural from down here” HE nods and clanks out. Problem solved.
Zion tha Coven Oracle ran into the library, his face red, totally freaked out. "Aw, Grr, there you are!" odd, as I barely knew tha guy, but he looked in need, and I try ta help any what come callin. So I greet him friendly, never once tried ta cut his head off or threaten ta send HIM home to Arcann in pieces. I'm hospitable like that. Even after my run in with tha Head of tha Housewives last week when I casully popped my head in. Luckily he don’t think I’m too bright so he'll probably keep thinking me walkin in the front door was just clumsy espionage.
Either way, Zion the Oracle lame in need, and kinda freaked me by almost puttin his arms around me and then stops. "Erm.. well. You know me?" he's breathin heavy and holdin his forehead. I ask him "your brain explodin?" and he falls into a chair. "Damn it, Grr, this is me, Abby" that takes me by surprise, just a little. Zion just sits there holdin his head with two hands, shaking it. I pad up close and poke "him". Zion sighs, rolls his eyes and huffs a "Yeah". That’s Abby awright, I recognise her body language.
Zion, clench fisted, sits as his reddened face slowly gets back ta Fleshie normal, and he speaks at a fast pace "I... I thought it would be fun to try if it works. You know, a hunch, I couldnt resist. It worked all too well" I tried tha next trick in my bag, i looked at Zion and unfocussed my eyes, looking Within. Lookin inta tha Spirit. Zion swallows, and from Within, Abby looked back at me. "Yeah, I am her. All trapped, by my own ingenious trick" Zion pokes out a tongue. What is a critter ta do? "ok... Abi, thats FUCKED up, you know its bloody rude ta possess folks? and where is Zion? in there? pushed to tha back, vanished? evasporated? quashed, sharin?" Zion holds his head still, groanin. "I didnt really think much about that, but yeah, he popped into my precious, beautiful, pretty little body and..." He clenches his fist again, slamming it into the other "He is touching it and is being slutty and all"
Tha self-centered brat! "dammit Abi, a persons body is their own . . . thats oh, well, fairs fair then, HA" the idea of body swappin is distressin, but somehow, the distress that i'm seein looked ta be valuable, and it sounded tha real Zion was not too much of a threat. It sure riled Abbi.. " No fucking WAY, I want it back. But... ther.... is... a problem with that. I just can't" Zion went back ta holdin his head. So I got ta thinking again, “hmm, well, where is err, Zion now? and with who?” Zion just looks up and shrugs, befer answerin “Griffith.... at the Coven tried to reverse the spell, but You see. Here I am. I am not sure where Abby/Zion is now. That ain’t good. I always like ta know where my body is at all fuckin times. “you know, just in case, maybe we should go find him, her, it, . . .your body . . Sympathetic Magic and all . . . better if closer. This astral stuff really aint my bag, I’m a flesh and earth kinda shaman, good fer what ails tha body, I don’t like it when folks are messin with their Spirits. It aint Natural.
Zion shrugs and waves, without hope. "The Coven is on it. And I told the shadows too." Well, don’t that just take tha fuckin cake. Now tha denizens of tha Pit are in on it, we can expect mischief of an epic bloody scale. I think I expressed myself clear when I said” oh, great, now yer in tha shit . . . and like you haven’t tried out yer new male parts neither .. ha” Tha next thing surprised me though, he kinda blushed and squirmed. “Fuck, Grr, that was the most terrifying thing happening to me, you know. I had these demon girls all around me, and... he looks down between his legs and his face gets redder. Thank tha Goddess, they didn’t mess him up any worse than a good flirtin at. I think I can relax a bit, knowin that’s tha kind of reaction ta expect. SO I try ta cheer ‘em up “demon gals rock, luv, they really do” which leads Ziaon ta look at me funny, and say “Even the thought of that girl.... Yeeesh. It is hard to be a man.” Zion chuckles and leans back, covering his eyes with both palms.
“awright, if yer up ta it, we need ta get you over there i think” tha Coven, if they’re awready workin on it, best get all the afflicted tagether. unless ya need ta scrump it outta yer system a bit first? ya know, sow Zions wild oats a bit . . . I kinda lear, winkin, jutting an elbow out making nudging gestures. Zion pulls his palms down his face, regardin me with raised eyebrow. "You mean I shouldnt fight it?" Silly bloody Fleshies, always tryin ta fight their bodies over tha little stuff, then go and rampage when its destructive and againt Nature . . .”no dont fight it! fuck ya can't fight NATURE, luv, mate, whatever . .ha” HE just looks up at me with those eyes and fer a minute, I see inta them, tat ha soul that’s actually in there. He looks at me with wide eyes, breathing heavily. "You know that I never had sex, right?" Time ta wield tha stick again . . “well, yer soul might not have, who can say what yer body has been up ta? Zion bites his lip, thinking. "If you say so..." then he even bites his fist. "I had this surge of feelings, all over..." Poor sod.
“Look ,all im sayin is that if ya can bear it, ya should follow Nature's call. Nature knows tha Way” Zion shook his head to clear it. "I... this is out of control, damn it. I felt this great power, but it took control over me" I just leared, I figured which he meant, but I was rammin tha point home, so ta speak. "And now I meant the magic not the lust" he pipes up “they are often one and tha same, ya know? some folks channel one with tha other” I take a moment ta pad close and sniffs Zion's body all over, memorising his scent. No chance of losin him if there was a problem. Coverin my bases, tha septics would call it. Zion makes a face. "Anyways, now we could swordfight like... you know." Folks thin ki got a one track mind, but I’m just focussed. “err, with our cocks? i'd just as soon . . .not . . . if its awright with you . .. i leave that to Tha Pack. ow, right, trainin” like I say, one track. He laughed "Jeez, of course" Its half my nature, half me keeping it in his mind. Her mind, whatever . . . “gotcha. just hinkin of tha possibilities”
Zion rolls his eyes. "Guys" Ha, yeah, tha male of his species, not known fer their subtle breedin rituals. Well, mine neither, either side of tha Kin line. “wonder if Arcann has scrumped yer body yet? tha Coven are like that ya know, so i hear” That was mean of me, but I’m relentless, once I got a grip, I shake till I get my meal. Zion 's eyes snapped wide "WHAT?" What do you mean, damn it, we have to tie her up and put her in a cell. frowns "And hybernate her" I’m on a roll now, so I keep up tha fire . . “mhmmm, that'd stop him, sure, nothin like a unconcious body ta tell a guy "no"” and I just grin wickedly. “so, am i convincin ya well enough how BAD an idea this was?” I pause for a moment to let that one finish sinkin in then use another flank “got any tattoos? i got a couple. took a bit of doin, bein a Shifter and all but they're fer life . . .
Zion rolls his eyes, typical Abby. "I get it now, ok. And I have no idea if I have tatoos. I have not yet looked at... myself. And yeah, I smell." i keep rambling about my tatts “don't heal away . . . same with my major scars. no no, i dont mean THIS body .. .” and I lean over and poke Zion's body in four or five spots all at once. “i mean YER body. any tattoos?” and grin wider. “but, a shower we can arrange . . .” tha penny drops, I can almost hear it. Zion squeaks, most un-manly, ha “ Abby? Tatooos? What the? WHy?”
I just peek on firin away, suppressive fire of tha mind “and ya might want ta explore yer body a bit, know where all tha sore spots are” got him in a right state now, but at least there aint time fer mopin or poutin. We’re gonna get some action. Even if its simple, it’s a start. Zion just keeps sayin “Shit” cause tha depth of vulnerability has truly dawned. “well, mate . . hun . . .Abi . . . ya MIGHT by now . . .Zion stomped his feet frantically. Pouty behaviour. Gotta head that shit off. “lets get ya cleaned up, then we can go sort this out, maybe. you two need ta set some rules . . .i take it HES not vengeful?” Zion looks at me from standin as I stay in my happy crouch,his hands still on his face “a know, tha sort ta tattoo "my name is Zion" on yer forehead?” Zion gets it tagether a bit and replies “ He seems to enjoy this, damn it. He is all over touching himself, and stuff.” And shivers. “well, yer body is kinda unusual, even fer Tox. c'mon, shower, then we can talk.” Zion sighed, sniffin himself. "Okay" I say “awright, Hotel has showers that work” and we head over there. He walks like Abby. That’s a good sign too. Easy ta track, funny how much tha mind governs tha body. More proof that meat is just meat.
We get ta a hotel room, I shoulder tha door open, and scope tha place out, before I brace it back closed. Zion heads for tha bathroom and I sit but its door, facin out. Fleshies like their privacy, I know, shy about their bald bodies, I guess. I tell Zion I’ll just wait there. He strips down and gets a surprise when he gets all bare. “whoa” I hear him say as his belt hits tha floor. “best thing ya can do is wash all over, you'll get used ta how ya feel, and look . . .trust me . .havin a new body is quite a weird bloody thing.
Zion groaned and mumbled, I kept talking “i have THREE, ya know . . .” poor bugger almost choked. “WHAT?” I have a quick peek in, he’s starin down at his groin “three bodies, i got three bodies, this is my War Form, i got Fleshie, and my natural one.”
This is gunna be fun, he thought I meant three sets of genitals.
Friday, July 25, 2008
A letter to Grr
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a small envelope from her pocket with "Coyote" written on the outside. Inside it there is a brief note, written in Joah's old-fashioned script. What appears to be ink is brownish red. There are a couple of blots of it on the paper. The tone is formal and stiff:
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"GrrBrool, I regret any harm I may have caused you. It is not my intention that any of Omega's be harmed. Thus I will walk the twilight streets, being ever so much more calm and purposeful since Legion's intervention. She showed me creation. And as you know, there is no new life unless a seed first dies. - Joah"
a small envelope from her pocket with "Coyote" written on the outside. Inside it there is a brief note, written in Joah's old-fashioned script. What appears to be ink is brownish red. There are a couple of blots of it on the paper. The tone is formal and stiff:
=============================
"GrrBrool, I regret any harm I may have caused you. It is not my intention that any of Omega's be harmed. Thus I will walk the twilight streets, being ever so much more calm and purposeful since Legion's intervention. She showed me creation. And as you know, there is no new life unless a seed first dies. - Joah"
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
-untitled-
==================================
half a page, the bottom torn off, the top covered in pencil scratchings and scribbles as if the pencil was held in the palm and dragged over the paper till it broke
==================================
;dslfgij ;dskg;sgjdfg tr9upgi gsj ;ois gs. sgyhs;gskgsknn
. llgggr;hj;fg k sj ss sfghdfhjh j
Joah
kjgiyr;hj;fg k sj ssh hhghhhdfhdf juyretyujucjgh
;igmpdfihgj hj;sfghj shj 'h'hj 'htojjrt9u8jeqyw4
half a page, the bottom torn off, the top covered in pencil scratchings and scribbles as if the pencil was held in the palm and dragged over the paper till it broke
==================================
;dslfgij ;dskg;sgjdfg tr9upgi gsj ;ois gs. sgyhs;gskgsknn
. llgggr;hj;fg k sj ss sfghdfhjh j
Joah
kjgiyr;hj;fg k sj ssh hhghhhdfhdf juyretyujucjgh
;igmpdfihgj hj;sfghj shj 'h'hj 'htojjrt9u8jeqyw4
Cable-ties and Darkness
=================================
Pencil entry dated 21/7/08 very messy, several of the ends of paragraphs trail off as if falling asleep whilst writing
=================================
I was already riled from dealin with Abi, Her Ladyship was busy pickin up tha slack on tha paper, and we had had a full load paws on deck. Poncho had already wandered off, but Denny was still in, Merma, Joah and me. Nicholette had dropped in to, but to my delight, My-She came slinking in. I can't say how good that made me feel. I didn't think i'd be seein her in Tox any time soon. Don't know what brought her, but I was bloody grateful either way. Tha ground is softer under my paws when she is near.
Seems she's been feelin Joah's crazy too. She went straight up ta Joah and looked her over. Commented on "her new jewelry", the blade. That’s My-She. Insight. They dodged and prodded fer a bit until My-She relented and told Joah just to go get changed. Seems she had it in hsr head she was gunna take tha ferry ta tha mainland. She asked a good question, somethin we'd missed. Why. Why Joah had been cuttin on herself. We shoulda asked. Joah just evaded tha question when she got asked. This frustration eventually got tha better of My-She, she left again. In a Fury. Told Joah to ask if she finally decided ta get help. Out she went sayin again, she was of no furthur use.
I just slumped. Busy day fer a critter like me. No monsters to fight, fires ta put out, but just lots of brain sweat. I didn't notice what went on between Joah and Merma, all I saw was the blade coming away. Tha smell of Feather blood risin. I moved. I may have said somethin witty. Point is I clobbered Joah with a tackle and pinned her to tha floor. Her Ladyship was right behind me. Joah was flat out buggy. Missin a few sheep from tha top paddock. She was fightin me, that’s normal, I’d have expected that from anybody, but she said somethin as she was spittin and mouthin off.
She called me 'dog'. Now, I been called a lot of things by a lot of folks but Joah hadn't been one ta call names. Yeah I had just tackled her and Her Ladyship was gunna take her relic away. That bugged me though, made me think. So I said back ta her "bastard, dog, mutt, beast, animal, lycan yeah maybe, but I’m yer friend." she just spat some more. Her Ladyship just spoke once more, to me this time. She knew she didn't have ta explain and knew Joah wouldn't get it till it was too late. "cable-ties".
Now, if ya never have tha misfortune ta get propez cable-tied in yer life, good reader, count yer self lucky. It sucks. Here's tha deal. Take three heavy grade cable-ties, the ones that tha flat is finger-wide. Zip-ties tha septics call them I think. Anyway, ya first cuff tha wrists, flat. Then tha forearms just above tha elbows. Third one goes up and down through those two and through tha prisoner's belt. By lockin tha joints they can’t bring leverage ta bear. Do it right and ya can cut tha strength of a full grown combat primed lycan down to a 14 year old Fleshie. Same fer most Fangers. As long as they can’t burn, melt or cut them, it'll hold a demon too. Not long, but long enough.
Tie them tight and ya cut circulation. Do it right and ya can start takin fingers without them even feelin it. If they struggle ya can yank tha ties a click er two and show yer displeasure. If yer a right bastard ya can throw one wrist ta throat too. Do all that behind tha back and you got one helpless POW. Joah wasn't a POW though. She was my friend who was hurtin herself. Wrist, elbows and belt before she barely knew I was up ta somethin. That’s tha key, loose, cable-ties can get snapped, they're just dense nylon. Tough as fuckin nails, but just nylon.
Barely before, I said. She shoved with her mind, me bein a lot bigger and trained at doin this kinda thing, so like a good soldier, she fought with what she had. Our Joah is a Weaver. She blinded me with a will. Like a punch inside my head. I rolled off against tha wall next to tha fireplace ta get outta tha way. Typical Fleshie mistake. Important as it is, I don't need sight as much as tha rest of ya. Fuckin inconvenience. Long term it'd be tha end of me fer sure. But I had a mission. I sniffed. I listined. I waited as Her Ladyship read tha Riot Act ta her. Then she wailed.
I was already reelin from tha blindin but this was like a grenade in my head. I been conditioned fer modern combat. Full auto and barrage artillery. But there are things I can't handle. And a banshee's cry is one. I just yelped and fled, blind as far as I could. Made it to tha far wall, smashed through two book stands and a lamp ta get there, fuck, it hurt, awready blinded and now near ta deaf too. It was a bloody relief when Her Ladyship slapped her one and told her to look at me. She called me Her coyote. Things like that make it all better, ya know? i was cared fer, part of somethin. Some folks will go on and on about how they're loners, they don't need nothin, no-one. Well, when yer blind and half deaf hearin that someone is lookin out fer ya is all tha proof in tha world ya need folks.
Back ta Joah. See, even like that, i knew she needed me more than i needed helpin. I worked my way along tha wall over tha broken stuff and sat down in tha corner of the fireplace, ready ta jump if needs be. i had a pretty good idea where she was from tha sounds. From tha scents. at this range, i could get her again, no worries. I am used ta blind-fightin. I usually expect ta SEE again after though. Anyway, i dont need ta. Her Ladyship talked her down, kinda. With some harsh words and some gentle prodding, eventually i got my sight back. Eventually. With Merma there, i sat with Joah fer a while, made sure she weren't hurtin from the cable-ties. Not hurtin, but not gettin free anytime neither. I do my job well, thats all. I ain't one fer torturin my friends and Family, never have been. Trick was ta keep her safe and secure till we could sort out what ta do.
But tha strain eventually got ta me, killer headache, but Merma was there. So, after i made sure Joah wasn't too bad-off, gave Poncho an update as he wandered in, and buggered off. At least i left Joah safe and secure, where she's be looked after, and protected, not out on the streets, wild and gettin up ta Goddess knows what with that fuckin knife. I think tha knife is still connected with Nareth. Made Joah talk like her, makes her cut in things, like Nareth used ta. I hope i can use it ta track her. Bring her back from tha beyond. She's out there, lost, alone. Our Huntress, Her Ladyships Childer. i need ta find her for Her.
Its what i do.
Pencil entry dated 21/7/08 very messy, several of the ends of paragraphs trail off as if falling asleep whilst writing
=================================
I was already riled from dealin with Abi, Her Ladyship was busy pickin up tha slack on tha paper, and we had had a full load paws on deck. Poncho had already wandered off, but Denny was still in, Merma, Joah and me. Nicholette had dropped in to, but to my delight, My-She came slinking in. I can't say how good that made me feel. I didn't think i'd be seein her in Tox any time soon. Don't know what brought her, but I was bloody grateful either way. Tha ground is softer under my paws when she is near.
Seems she's been feelin Joah's crazy too. She went straight up ta Joah and looked her over. Commented on "her new jewelry", the blade. That’s My-She. Insight. They dodged and prodded fer a bit until My-She relented and told Joah just to go get changed. Seems she had it in hsr head she was gunna take tha ferry ta tha mainland. She asked a good question, somethin we'd missed. Why. Why Joah had been cuttin on herself. We shoulda asked. Joah just evaded tha question when she got asked. This frustration eventually got tha better of My-She, she left again. In a Fury. Told Joah to ask if she finally decided ta get help. Out she went sayin again, she was of no furthur use.
I just slumped. Busy day fer a critter like me. No monsters to fight, fires ta put out, but just lots of brain sweat. I didn't notice what went on between Joah and Merma, all I saw was the blade coming away. Tha smell of Feather blood risin. I moved. I may have said somethin witty. Point is I clobbered Joah with a tackle and pinned her to tha floor. Her Ladyship was right behind me. Joah was flat out buggy. Missin a few sheep from tha top paddock. She was fightin me, that’s normal, I’d have expected that from anybody, but she said somethin as she was spittin and mouthin off.
She called me 'dog'. Now, I been called a lot of things by a lot of folks but Joah hadn't been one ta call names. Yeah I had just tackled her and Her Ladyship was gunna take her relic away. That bugged me though, made me think. So I said back ta her "bastard, dog, mutt, beast, animal, lycan yeah maybe, but I’m yer friend." she just spat some more. Her Ladyship just spoke once more, to me this time. She knew she didn't have ta explain and knew Joah wouldn't get it till it was too late. "cable-ties".
Now, if ya never have tha misfortune ta get propez cable-tied in yer life, good reader, count yer self lucky. It sucks. Here's tha deal. Take three heavy grade cable-ties, the ones that tha flat is finger-wide. Zip-ties tha septics call them I think. Anyway, ya first cuff tha wrists, flat. Then tha forearms just above tha elbows. Third one goes up and down through those two and through tha prisoner's belt. By lockin tha joints they can’t bring leverage ta bear. Do it right and ya can cut tha strength of a full grown combat primed lycan down to a 14 year old Fleshie. Same fer most Fangers. As long as they can’t burn, melt or cut them, it'll hold a demon too. Not long, but long enough.
Tie them tight and ya cut circulation. Do it right and ya can start takin fingers without them even feelin it. If they struggle ya can yank tha ties a click er two and show yer displeasure. If yer a right bastard ya can throw one wrist ta throat too. Do all that behind tha back and you got one helpless POW. Joah wasn't a POW though. She was my friend who was hurtin herself. Wrist, elbows and belt before she barely knew I was up ta somethin. That’s tha key, loose, cable-ties can get snapped, they're just dense nylon. Tough as fuckin nails, but just nylon.
Barely before, I said. She shoved with her mind, me bein a lot bigger and trained at doin this kinda thing, so like a good soldier, she fought with what she had. Our Joah is a Weaver. She blinded me with a will. Like a punch inside my head. I rolled off against tha wall next to tha fireplace ta get outta tha way. Typical Fleshie mistake. Important as it is, I don't need sight as much as tha rest of ya. Fuckin inconvenience. Long term it'd be tha end of me fer sure. But I had a mission. I sniffed. I listined. I waited as Her Ladyship read tha Riot Act ta her. Then she wailed.
I was already reelin from tha blindin but this was like a grenade in my head. I been conditioned fer modern combat. Full auto and barrage artillery. But there are things I can't handle. And a banshee's cry is one. I just yelped and fled, blind as far as I could. Made it to tha far wall, smashed through two book stands and a lamp ta get there, fuck, it hurt, awready blinded and now near ta deaf too. It was a bloody relief when Her Ladyship slapped her one and told her to look at me. She called me Her coyote. Things like that make it all better, ya know? i was cared fer, part of somethin. Some folks will go on and on about how they're loners, they don't need nothin, no-one. Well, when yer blind and half deaf hearin that someone is lookin out fer ya is all tha proof in tha world ya need folks.
Back ta Joah. See, even like that, i knew she needed me more than i needed helpin. I worked my way along tha wall over tha broken stuff and sat down in tha corner of the fireplace, ready ta jump if needs be. i had a pretty good idea where she was from tha sounds. From tha scents. at this range, i could get her again, no worries. I am used ta blind-fightin. I usually expect ta SEE again after though. Anyway, i dont need ta. Her Ladyship talked her down, kinda. With some harsh words and some gentle prodding, eventually i got my sight back. Eventually. With Merma there, i sat with Joah fer a while, made sure she weren't hurtin from the cable-ties. Not hurtin, but not gettin free anytime neither. I do my job well, thats all. I ain't one fer torturin my friends and Family, never have been. Trick was ta keep her safe and secure till we could sort out what ta do.
But tha strain eventually got ta me, killer headache, but Merma was there. So, after i made sure Joah wasn't too bad-off, gave Poncho an update as he wandered in, and buggered off. At least i left Joah safe and secure, where she's be looked after, and protected, not out on the streets, wild and gettin up ta Goddess knows what with that fuckin knife. I think tha knife is still connected with Nareth. Made Joah talk like her, makes her cut in things, like Nareth used ta. I hope i can use it ta track her. Bring her back from tha beyond. She's out there, lost, alone. Our Huntress, Her Ladyships Childer. i need ta find her for Her.
Its what i do.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Learnin fer life
=================================
pencil entry dated 20/7/08
=================================
Change or die
Fight or die.
Learn or die.
These were tha three lessons i first learnt when tha 7RAR-L got me. Harsh, maybe. Fair? Who knows. I guess there was already a lesson learnt before those three. Obey. When i teach, i expect tha same. I dont care ta teach unless tha lesson is important. I dont teach unless tha one learnin is worth it.
Abi, Lari and Lorne's child, Nareth's Ward. I been tryin ta give her some direction. My specialty? combat trainin and tactics. i'm not tha worlds best fighter by a long shot, but i learnt by tha numbers, and i understand it good. i'm good at stayin alive. SHe needs that kinda skillset, being who she is and what she is. a right brat. a right brat with Powers.
I gave her sword lessons at tha House. i gave her street lessons in Tox. She got another lesson in tha Library. We were sittin about, Denny, Poncho, Her Ladyship, Denny's "sister" another Feather from the Righteous, and some others. Binx tha street-kit was there, all fuzz and bone.
Tha talk ran to tha Shadows, and why we should be wary of 'em. Denny was first ta jump to, when Abi mentioned she thought they were chicken, and was giddy with pride at havin turned Blue's fur and features pink. Fast way ta get yer skull set on a pike if ya ask me. Abi laughed it off, and then got indignant when we tried ta tell her about what tha Shadows do fer FUN, when they find they dont like someone no more. Denny had his time with them ta go on, i had my time in tha Pack, against em, and what they did ta Choi and Pix.
She didn't take our ministerin well, and pretty much mouthed off hard. She let a few remarks slide ta Binx, who, bein tha street-hard kit she is, took it as a slight to her rep. When yer born to tha street, rep is what ya got ta show fer yerself. When push came ta shove, Binx let fly with a claw, and caught our Abi with her eyes screwed shut and her tongue pokin out.
Gave her a fuckin good cut to tha tongue. I jumped too, and hauled Binx out, which i was damn sorry ta do, but i got to. Family over refugees. I had a duty ta protect my Family, and only we get ta discipline our own. Abi just stood there stunned holdin her bleein face as i frogmarched Binx out and showed her tha door, poor kit, but, thats what temper gets ya, a lesson fer them both, really.
Abi had ducked upstairs and was tryin ta wash her face out, she refused my gauze ta start with nad stomped up, Her Ladyship sent me up after her, with a suggestion that i tend her and teach her tha proper way ta treat our guests. Tha kind of suggestion that makes me click my heels tagether and salute.
So I go up, and there she is spitten blood all over tha place. Tongues bleed bad. Its a fuckin nasty way ta kill someone too, ta take tha tongue. Slow, takes away a Feshies great Gift. Speech. You wanna put tha fear inta a village and still get somethin? Tear out a few tongues. Start with tha first ta speak out against ya. Where was I? Uh yeah, Abi. So, she's bleedin and panicin a bit. I grab her head, I got big paws, any claws add ta my grippin distance. I ask her ta poke her tongue out, which she's only too fond of doin.
Its inflamed. Kit-wounds do that. I get out my local/anti-inflam gel and get it onta tha wound. Tha swellin was helpin by that time, and she ain't doin too bad. I start givin her tha "Anger and Wildness" speech. Tha one I got not long after I learnt ta talk, but befor I got released inta Basic. About how Anger is a tool, how wildness is nature but how wild anger gets ya killed. Gets ya pack killed. Gets yer friends killed.
I fix her wound with Betadine, which she takes pretty good and she asks if we're respected. I see her angle. We're not a feared fightin force. We ain't feared fer draggin folks we feel like inta our lair and layen em open like a fish. I explain as best I can that we're respected cause we keep our heads when tha waste hits tha spinnin blades. What I don't say is we're feared cause we do things like raisin Dimentox. Like we set two factions against each other so a third can fill tha gap.
I tell her that her attitude is riskin us all, and that its lame. She kinda gets it. I suggest to her that we got things, books on tha topic of proper behavior. That I owed it ta her Mothers ta see her safe. I used tha carrot and stick. Tha stick bein a big fuck-off tome from tha 1800's on how ta be a dainty lady and eat cucumber sandwiches with no crusts. Tha other was my old Army Conduct manual. That worked.
Her Ladyship gave her a talkin too as well. She took it pretty well, it seems . . but later on, she came back, book in pieces, makin paper planes from it. Memorized it but no grasp of it. Like a child. Well, she IS a child. I hope i can keep her alive long enough ta grow into tha woman Lari and Nareth woulda wanted her ta be. Even if i can't tell tha Huntress, i'll show her . . . eventually.
pencil entry dated 20/7/08
=================================
Change or die
Fight or die.
Learn or die.
These were tha three lessons i first learnt when tha 7RAR-L got me. Harsh, maybe. Fair? Who knows. I guess there was already a lesson learnt before those three. Obey. When i teach, i expect tha same. I dont care ta teach unless tha lesson is important. I dont teach unless tha one learnin is worth it.
Abi, Lari and Lorne's child, Nareth's Ward. I been tryin ta give her some direction. My specialty? combat trainin and tactics. i'm not tha worlds best fighter by a long shot, but i learnt by tha numbers, and i understand it good. i'm good at stayin alive. SHe needs that kinda skillset, being who she is and what she is. a right brat. a right brat with Powers.
I gave her sword lessons at tha House. i gave her street lessons in Tox. She got another lesson in tha Library. We were sittin about, Denny, Poncho, Her Ladyship, Denny's "sister" another Feather from the Righteous, and some others. Binx tha street-kit was there, all fuzz and bone.
Tha talk ran to tha Shadows, and why we should be wary of 'em. Denny was first ta jump to, when Abi mentioned she thought they were chicken, and was giddy with pride at havin turned Blue's fur and features pink. Fast way ta get yer skull set on a pike if ya ask me. Abi laughed it off, and then got indignant when we tried ta tell her about what tha Shadows do fer FUN, when they find they dont like someone no more. Denny had his time with them ta go on, i had my time in tha Pack, against em, and what they did ta Choi and Pix.
She didn't take our ministerin well, and pretty much mouthed off hard. She let a few remarks slide ta Binx, who, bein tha street-hard kit she is, took it as a slight to her rep. When yer born to tha street, rep is what ya got ta show fer yerself. When push came ta shove, Binx let fly with a claw, and caught our Abi with her eyes screwed shut and her tongue pokin out.
Gave her a fuckin good cut to tha tongue. I jumped too, and hauled Binx out, which i was damn sorry ta do, but i got to. Family over refugees. I had a duty ta protect my Family, and only we get ta discipline our own. Abi just stood there stunned holdin her bleein face as i frogmarched Binx out and showed her tha door, poor kit, but, thats what temper gets ya, a lesson fer them both, really.
Abi had ducked upstairs and was tryin ta wash her face out, she refused my gauze ta start with nad stomped up, Her Ladyship sent me up after her, with a suggestion that i tend her and teach her tha proper way ta treat our guests. Tha kind of suggestion that makes me click my heels tagether and salute.
So I go up, and there she is spitten blood all over tha place. Tongues bleed bad. Its a fuckin nasty way ta kill someone too, ta take tha tongue. Slow, takes away a Feshies great Gift. Speech. You wanna put tha fear inta a village and still get somethin? Tear out a few tongues. Start with tha first ta speak out against ya. Where was I? Uh yeah, Abi. So, she's bleedin and panicin a bit. I grab her head, I got big paws, any claws add ta my grippin distance. I ask her ta poke her tongue out, which she's only too fond of doin.
Its inflamed. Kit-wounds do that. I get out my local/anti-inflam gel and get it onta tha wound. Tha swellin was helpin by that time, and she ain't doin too bad. I start givin her tha "Anger and Wildness" speech. Tha one I got not long after I learnt ta talk, but befor I got released inta Basic. About how Anger is a tool, how wildness is nature but how wild anger gets ya killed. Gets ya pack killed. Gets yer friends killed.
I fix her wound with Betadine, which she takes pretty good and she asks if we're respected. I see her angle. We're not a feared fightin force. We ain't feared fer draggin folks we feel like inta our lair and layen em open like a fish. I explain as best I can that we're respected cause we keep our heads when tha waste hits tha spinnin blades. What I don't say is we're feared cause we do things like raisin Dimentox. Like we set two factions against each other so a third can fill tha gap.
I tell her that her attitude is riskin us all, and that its lame. She kinda gets it. I suggest to her that we got things, books on tha topic of proper behavior. That I owed it ta her Mothers ta see her safe. I used tha carrot and stick. Tha stick bein a big fuck-off tome from tha 1800's on how ta be a dainty lady and eat cucumber sandwiches with no crusts. Tha other was my old Army Conduct manual. That worked.
Her Ladyship gave her a talkin too as well. She took it pretty well, it seems . . but later on, she came back, book in pieces, makin paper planes from it. Memorized it but no grasp of it. Like a child. Well, she IS a child. I hope i can keep her alive long enough ta grow into tha woman Lari and Nareth woulda wanted her ta be. Even if i can't tell tha Huntress, i'll show her . . . eventually.
Violets are blue
===============================
CD cover torn out and pasted in, pencil entry dated 18/7/08
===============================
On a hot summer night. Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
Will he offer me his mouth?
Yes
Will he offer me his teeth?
Yes
Wlll he offer me his jaws?
Yes
Will he offer me his hunger?
Yes
Again. Will he offer me his hunger?
-Yes-
And will he starve without me?
Yes
And does he love me?
Yes
Yes
On a hot summer night. Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
Yes
I bet you say that to all the boys.
===========================
Who ever that Meatloaf guy is sure makes a good point. Funny Fleshie. I been wanderin a fair bit. Keepin my head down still. No sign of tha MP's fer a long while, but ya never know. Even it they didn't get me, they could still cause grief for tha Institute. That ain't what i was gettin on about. I been feelin tha turn of tha seasons again. My-She has left Tox fer tha mainland. Fer good, i expect. Too much hate here, too much filth, too much strife. My-She is a kind an gentle bein, she deserves better than this place. I visit when i can, when duty, tha Paths or shipping will allow.
Her Ladyship has been goin through a pretty fuckin awful time. Nareth gone, Labyrinth in her place. Things goin on with Poncho. Ethan and Britt's intoxication. More stuff. Joah getting crazy from dealin with Labyrinth and Nareth's knife. We have had a few new faces come through. I made some new friends with tha Felines. Even got over tha "cats and dogs" crap that Fleshies keep spoutin.
But tha words of tha song keep comin back to me. My room at Omega's house has roses. I wake smellin them. They speak ta me of life and nature. Beauty with tha danger of thorns. Maybe I should go find some. See what happens.
CD cover torn out and pasted in, pencil entry dated 18/7/08
===============================
On a hot summer night. Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
Will he offer me his mouth?
Yes
Will he offer me his teeth?
Yes
Wlll he offer me his jaws?
Yes
Will he offer me his hunger?
Yes
Again. Will he offer me his hunger?
-Yes-
And will he starve without me?
Yes
And does he love me?
Yes
Yes
On a hot summer night. Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
Yes
I bet you say that to all the boys.
===========================
Who ever that Meatloaf guy is sure makes a good point. Funny Fleshie. I been wanderin a fair bit. Keepin my head down still. No sign of tha MP's fer a long while, but ya never know. Even it they didn't get me, they could still cause grief for tha Institute. That ain't what i was gettin on about. I been feelin tha turn of tha seasons again. My-She has left Tox fer tha mainland. Fer good, i expect. Too much hate here, too much filth, too much strife. My-She is a kind an gentle bein, she deserves better than this place. I visit when i can, when duty, tha Paths or shipping will allow.
Her Ladyship has been goin through a pretty fuckin awful time. Nareth gone, Labyrinth in her place. Things goin on with Poncho. Ethan and Britt's intoxication. More stuff. Joah getting crazy from dealin with Labyrinth and Nareth's knife. We have had a few new faces come through. I made some new friends with tha Felines. Even got over tha "cats and dogs" crap that Fleshies keep spoutin.
But tha words of tha song keep comin back to me. My room at Omega's house has roses. I wake smellin them. They speak ta me of life and nature. Beauty with tha danger of thorns. Maybe I should go find some. See what happens.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
"ezekiel 25:17"
==================================
Pencil note, dated 15/7/08, with a torn out page from a glossy book pasted in
==================================
Tha book fell onto tha floor of tha Library as I was sittin lookin at tha fire, it was late, or early, tha Hour of the Wolf. Even in a place like Tox, folks bunker down when that time hits. Tha streets were empty. Tha Library was still. Just me and tha Fire. Tha book fell, and so I stirred. Rats maybe. Or bloody spooks. I didn’t smell anybody, nor rats. Even tha rats know better, and I can always make more burgers. Its been almost a month now, and still tha Library is . . . empty. Tha Spirit we summoned has not shown itself, not ta me, at least. Tha book fell, so I went ta get it. Its what I do, its Respect. Same as when I touch tha stone walls as I come or go. It Knows, I know it does. It cares. It deserves our respect.
I get tha book, and as I pick it up from where it fell, a page falls out. I go ta shove it back in place, and I get a surprise. Tha page is already there! Tha loose page is fer ME. Tha Library gave me a page. Its back! I swear, if anyone had happened by as I was dancin about and caryin on like a . well. Wild thing . .ha. they would have had quite tha show fer free. Once I finish dancing about, book in one paw, spare page in tha other, I shelve tha book, and walk over to tha patch on tha wall where I gouged clawmarks in tha stone, and signed a pact with it in my Dimentox-charged blood. I rest my paw on the spot and close my eyes, thankin tha Spirits fer givin us tha strength ta bring it back.
So I have a look at tha page. Its tha way tha Library has always spoke ta me, well, since that one time with Nareth . . . I shudder still at that day . . . Tenguska . . . Her Ladyships rage, Poncho, throat all but torn out, Denny’s fury, Lari’s compassion, Legion, inhabitin Lorne, voicin its scorn and me, cowerin behind tha pillar, transfixed by tha forces these beins called forth. Flame and Ice, Wind and Light.
Tha smell of so much blood as so many stood around and did nothin. It wasn’t my place ta interfere. They weren’t my Family, just those that lent me a spot by their fire and generally bore me ta be around. Now Lorne is gone, followin Legion’s pull, ta tha Shadows. Arcann, gone to tha Coven, where he sits doin whatever it is he does, and threatinin those who used ta be his own. Lari dead and back again as an Angel, Poncho, vanished after what happened with Nareth.
Nareth. Huntress. She never liked me. Omega’s Childer. Her Ladyships Own Blood. It doesn’t matter if she did or not. Tha loss of Nareth, it wasn’t good. For all of us. Fer Her Ladyship tha most. I know that sting. Labyrinth came forth. Nareth was . . ett. Tha Shadows ett her. Ritual they say, ta bring forth Labyrinth. Nareth’s will, that say. She wanted it. Labyrinth says its Eris.
Eris is a goddess. Goddess of strife. A primal force, conflict, breakin. Things fallin and lost. Nareth is lost in Labyrinth. Gone, says Labyrinth, but ya can never trust tha word of a godling. Unless yer its equal, and I aint. But I know somethin that Labyrinth don’t, or is too high and mighty ta consider. Foolish Beast, it calls me. Nareth used ta call me names too. Both are right. I am a Beast. I am a Fool. I am a creature of tha Wyld.
I opened my paw. Opened my eyes and looked at tha page tha Library had given me.
"Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children."
Tha words that spring forth. There is a black guy with a gun and bad hair. Looks like that Jedi in that movie. Tha words hit me like tha fist of, well, we all know which fist I’m thinking of. Tha meanin is doubly powerful when I remember Legions ghostly whispers words from tha beak of Raven, that same eve.
"We shall love you to ferry her elsewhere. We shall adore your being for bringing her from darkness to happy hunting grounds, or dreaming time We shall beg you to bring her from the cold and lonely night...."
Labyrinth says Nareth is no more, that she’s gone. Dead and gone. That’s just what Eris WOULD say. And I don’t fuckin believe it. I made an oath ta Coyote, when My-She freed me from my sufferin. I made an Oath to tha Library, in part payment of that. It don’t bother me none. I am a Shaman of Gaia. I have a debt ta pay fer all i was before. A debt i will never pay off. Ya know what? that dont bother me none, neither. I'm gunna ease Nareths Passage. Bring her back to Her Ladyship, if i can, send her onwards if that is all i can do.
But she ain't gettin left behind in tha Maze. I know better than ta take on a Godling in a game i can't win, but i have a gift. Somethin It don't. I offered ta help It, It dont get why. I am Free. i have my own Will. If It understood that, maybe It would understand WHY i'd help free it, fer all its done, fer all it could do. I am not tha cowerin outcast i once was. I am not a lot of things i once was.
I will find tha lost Ones, and guide them where they need ta go. I am a Scout. I am a Shaman. I am beloved and love. I am Free. I am a creature of tha Wyld and need not fear tha Void. Cause if it takes me, then it wont be tha Void no more. And won't Coyote laugh then? Coyote can't abide a Void. Always gotta poke a paw in and stir up His Own flavour of trouble, one Eris aught ta remember.
Pencil note, dated 15/7/08, with a torn out page from a glossy book pasted in
==================================
Tha book fell onto tha floor of tha Library as I was sittin lookin at tha fire, it was late, or early, tha Hour of the Wolf. Even in a place like Tox, folks bunker down when that time hits. Tha streets were empty. Tha Library was still. Just me and tha Fire. Tha book fell, and so I stirred. Rats maybe. Or bloody spooks. I didn’t smell anybody, nor rats. Even tha rats know better, and I can always make more burgers. Its been almost a month now, and still tha Library is . . . empty. Tha Spirit we summoned has not shown itself, not ta me, at least. Tha book fell, so I went ta get it. Its what I do, its Respect. Same as when I touch tha stone walls as I come or go. It Knows, I know it does. It cares. It deserves our respect.
I get tha book, and as I pick it up from where it fell, a page falls out. I go ta shove it back in place, and I get a surprise. Tha page is already there! Tha loose page is fer ME. Tha Library gave me a page. Its back! I swear, if anyone had happened by as I was dancin about and caryin on like a . well. Wild thing . .ha. they would have had quite tha show fer free. Once I finish dancing about, book in one paw, spare page in tha other, I shelve tha book, and walk over to tha patch on tha wall where I gouged clawmarks in tha stone, and signed a pact with it in my Dimentox-charged blood. I rest my paw on the spot and close my eyes, thankin tha Spirits fer givin us tha strength ta bring it back.
So I have a look at tha page. Its tha way tha Library has always spoke ta me, well, since that one time with Nareth . . . I shudder still at that day . . . Tenguska . . . Her Ladyships rage, Poncho, throat all but torn out, Denny’s fury, Lari’s compassion, Legion, inhabitin Lorne, voicin its scorn and me, cowerin behind tha pillar, transfixed by tha forces these beins called forth. Flame and Ice, Wind and Light.
Tha smell of so much blood as so many stood around and did nothin. It wasn’t my place ta interfere. They weren’t my Family, just those that lent me a spot by their fire and generally bore me ta be around. Now Lorne is gone, followin Legion’s pull, ta tha Shadows. Arcann, gone to tha Coven, where he sits doin whatever it is he does, and threatinin those who used ta be his own. Lari dead and back again as an Angel, Poncho, vanished after what happened with Nareth.
Nareth. Huntress. She never liked me. Omega’s Childer. Her Ladyships Own Blood. It doesn’t matter if she did or not. Tha loss of Nareth, it wasn’t good. For all of us. Fer Her Ladyship tha most. I know that sting. Labyrinth came forth. Nareth was . . ett. Tha Shadows ett her. Ritual they say, ta bring forth Labyrinth. Nareth’s will, that say. She wanted it. Labyrinth says its Eris.
Eris is a goddess. Goddess of strife. A primal force, conflict, breakin. Things fallin and lost. Nareth is lost in Labyrinth. Gone, says Labyrinth, but ya can never trust tha word of a godling. Unless yer its equal, and I aint. But I know somethin that Labyrinth don’t, or is too high and mighty ta consider. Foolish Beast, it calls me. Nareth used ta call me names too. Both are right. I am a Beast. I am a Fool. I am a creature of tha Wyld.
I opened my paw. Opened my eyes and looked at tha page tha Library had given me.
"Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children."
Tha words that spring forth. There is a black guy with a gun and bad hair. Looks like that Jedi in that movie. Tha words hit me like tha fist of, well, we all know which fist I’m thinking of. Tha meanin is doubly powerful when I remember Legions ghostly whispers words from tha beak of Raven, that same eve.
"We shall love you to ferry her elsewhere. We shall adore your being for bringing her from darkness to happy hunting grounds, or dreaming time We shall beg you to bring her from the cold and lonely night...."
Labyrinth says Nareth is no more, that she’s gone. Dead and gone. That’s just what Eris WOULD say. And I don’t fuckin believe it. I made an oath ta Coyote, when My-She freed me from my sufferin. I made an Oath to tha Library, in part payment of that. It don’t bother me none. I am a Shaman of Gaia. I have a debt ta pay fer all i was before. A debt i will never pay off. Ya know what? that dont bother me none, neither. I'm gunna ease Nareths Passage. Bring her back to Her Ladyship, if i can, send her onwards if that is all i can do.
But she ain't gettin left behind in tha Maze. I know better than ta take on a Godling in a game i can't win, but i have a gift. Somethin It don't. I offered ta help It, It dont get why. I am Free. i have my own Will. If It understood that, maybe It would understand WHY i'd help free it, fer all its done, fer all it could do. I am not tha cowerin outcast i once was. I am not a lot of things i once was.
I will find tha lost Ones, and guide them where they need ta go. I am a Scout. I am a Shaman. I am beloved and love. I am Free. I am a creature of tha Wyld and need not fear tha Void. Cause if it takes me, then it wont be tha Void no more. And won't Coyote laugh then? Coyote can't abide a Void. Always gotta poke a paw in and stir up His Own flavour of trouble, one Eris aught ta remember.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
a letter in the Journal
==============================================
A fountain pen-inked letter, in neat and old fashioned script, on vellum. It was folded in half and has been folded again to carefully fit in the journal. On the opposite page is taped a matching envelope simply labelled “Grr” in the same hand.
==============================================
Brother,
Perhaps this will speak to your spirit.
"Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep-while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?"
-Joah
A fountain pen-inked letter, in neat and old fashioned script, on vellum. It was folded in half and has been folded again to carefully fit in the journal. On the opposite page is taped a matching envelope simply labelled “Grr” in the same hand.
==============================================
Brother,
Perhaps this will speak to your spirit.
"Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep-while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?"
-Joah
Friday, July 11, 2008
Timor Snaps
=================================
Photo's taken during a new moon, in Timor, Operation: Red Moon c. 2003
=================================
Kickin it at forward firebase, pre-shrapnel, new moon
River crossin with tha 60 . . . still durin tha new moon, bloody inconvenient
((these two are of my dad, OOC, in and around Vietnam, 1969))
Photo's taken during a new moon, in Timor, Operation: Red Moon c. 2003
=================================
Kickin it at forward firebase, pre-shrapnel, new moon
River crossin with tha 60 . . . still durin tha new moon, bloody inconvenient((these two are of my dad, OOC, in and around Vietnam, 1969))
Grr's Backstory - OOC (not in the book)
========================================
Files from the stolen 7RAR-L disk of Grr's personnel file: not in the Journal.
========================================
ADF Master Index ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Repat No.: 7RAR-L-0571 Issue Point: ADF-A-PUCK Rec Type: DSTOMetaResDiv
Surname: Lykin Address1: UNKNOWN - AWOL - Operation: Red Moon
Given1: GrrBrool 2:
Given2: (Gabriel) Suburb:
Rank: Sergeant Post Code: Phone (H): N-A
Sex Code: M Unit: 7RAR-L Special Ops. Phone (M):
DoB: 19/06/1989 UR No.: Lycan 0571 Phone (B): N-A
Status: CAPTURE-TERMINATE
ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Mar.Status: S Medicare: N-A Fund Code: 7 (DSTO MetResDiv)
Birthplace: Royal Melbourne Zoo, Specimen 071239 Ins.Level: Freeze for analysis
Religion: Pagan Compensable: x Member No.:
Ambulance: MAS Repat No.: 7RAR-L-0571 Sch/Table:
Subscr.No: 133333 Blood Type: Dog Erythrocyte Antigen (DEA)4
Transport: RESTRAINT LVL4 Pens. Type:
BH " " : Pens. No.: 'Z': AWOL/Rogue
Staff Ind.: N Status(P/S/M): S
Changed Date: 25/01/2005
MetaHuman Details ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Clinic Origin: RMZ Current Ref Doctor:
Latest: VLD Vet Lycanthropy Refer Valid Date: 21/12/1991 Type: 3L
Consultant: HMZ MAMEGHAN, H Referred To: 7RAR-Lycanthropy
Breed: Canine - Lycanthrope Sub-Speicies : Canis rufus
Condition: Hereditory: Non-Infectious Refer Urgency: CRITICAL
Followup Type: Train/Intergrate Original Ref Doctor: SMITH N No:3
Referral Src: H
First Attendance: 04/05/1991 Local Doctor: BROWN J
In Aust at Regis: 17 Years
Race: Caucasian/Mixed MSW Code:
Language: Palliative Care: Sedate & Euthanise
Theumaturgy: Higher than average Diet Class: 3 Omniverous carnivore
Allergies:
Sunlight : N Wolfsbane: N Silver: N Iron: N
Mistletoe: N Holy Water: N Holy Sign: N Garlic: N
Gold: Y Kosher Salt: N Running water: N
Reverse traditional Lunar cycle:
transformation restriction to human form during "New Moon" phase
normal Lycanthropic regenerative effect reduced
Next of Kin ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Subject has no human next of kin. Canine kin are deceased. Records expunged.
Father suspected to be human Lycan of American decent,
likely mated whilst in Canine form. No further data.
ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
≥No≥ ≥ Name ≥ Address ≥ Home Phone ≥ Business ≥ Relation ≥
ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
≥ ≥ ≥ 070890 Goldie ≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Mother ≥
≥ ≥ ≥ 071236 Charile ≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Sibling ≥
≥ ≥ ≥ 071237 Socks ≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Sibling ≥
≥ ≥ ≥ 071238 Ammie ≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Sibling ≥
≥ ≥ ≥ 071241 Tuft ≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Sibling ≥
≥ ≥ ≥ 071242 -unnamed-≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Sibling ≥
ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Files from the stolen 7RAR-L disk of Grr's personnel file: not in the Journal.
========================================
ADF Master Index ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Repat No.: 7RAR-L-0571 Issue Point: ADF-A-PUCK Rec Type: DSTOMetaResDiv
Surname: Lykin Address1: UNKNOWN - AWOL - Operation: Red Moon
Given1: GrrBrool 2:
Given2: (Gabriel) Suburb:
Rank: Sergeant Post Code: Phone (H): N-A
Sex Code: M Unit: 7RAR-L Special Ops. Phone (M):
DoB: 19/06/1989 UR No.: Lycan 0571 Phone (B): N-A
Status: CAPTURE-TERMINATE
ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Mar.Status: S Medicare: N-A Fund Code: 7 (DSTO MetResDiv)
Birthplace: Royal Melbourne Zoo, Specimen 071239 Ins.Level: Freeze for analysis
Religion: Pagan Compensable: x Member No.:
Ambulance: MAS Repat No.: 7RAR-L-0571 Sch/Table:
Subscr.No: 133333 Blood Type: Dog Erythrocyte Antigen (DEA)4
Transport: RESTRAINT LVL4 Pens. Type:
BH " " : Pens. No.: 'Z': AWOL/Rogue
Staff Ind.: N Status(P/S/M): S
Changed Date: 25/01/2005
MetaHuman Details ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Clinic Origin: RMZ Current Ref Doctor:
Latest: VLD Vet Lycanthropy Refer Valid Date: 21/12/1991 Type: 3L
Consultant: HMZ MAMEGHAN, H Referred To: 7RAR-Lycanthropy
Breed: Canine - Lycanthrope Sub-Speicies : Canis rufus
Condition: Hereditory: Non-Infectious Refer Urgency: CRITICAL
Followup Type: Train/Intergrate Original Ref Doctor: SMITH N No:3
Referral Src: H
First Attendance: 04/05/1991 Local Doctor: BROWN J
In Aust at Regis: 17 Years
Race: Caucasian/Mixed MSW Code:
Language: Palliative Care: Sedate & Euthanise
Theumaturgy: Higher than average Diet Class: 3 Omniverous carnivore
Allergies:
Sunlight : N Wolfsbane: N Silver: N Iron: N
Mistletoe: N Holy Water: N Holy Sign: N Garlic: N
Gold: Y Kosher Salt: N Running water: N
Reverse traditional Lunar cycle:
transformation restriction to human form during "New Moon" phase
normal Lycanthropic regenerative effect reduced
Next of Kin ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Subject has no human next of kin. Canine kin are deceased. Records expunged.
Father suspected to be human Lycan of American decent,
likely mated whilst in Canine form. No further data.
ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
≥No≥ ≥ Name ≥ Address ≥ Home Phone ≥ Business ≥ Relation ≥
ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
≥ ≥ ≥ 070890 Goldie ≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Mother ≥
≥ ≥ ≥ 071236 Charile ≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Sibling ≥
≥ ≥ ≥ 071237 Socks ≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Sibling ≥
≥ ≥ ≥ 071238 Ammie ≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Sibling ≥
≥ ≥ ≥ 071241 Tuft ≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Sibling ≥
≥ ≥ ≥ 071242 -unnamed-≥ Deceased ≥ ≥ ≥ Sibling ≥
ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Her ladyship napping
==================================
instant photo, propped on a rock, stuck into the journal with tape
==================================
"Her LadyShip is nappin, be quiet and please come back later . . .or else . . ."
instant photo, propped on a rock, stuck into the journal with tape
==================================
"Her LadyShip is nappin, be quiet and please come back later . . .or else . . ."
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
gift of bein merely mortal
=======================================
pencil note, with sand wedged in the seams of the notebook, dated 9/07/08
=======================================
I been doin some thinkin, deep, proper thinkin. I run in some heady company. Feathers and Fallen, Fangers and tha like. These are beins who live outside tha wheel of years. We have shards of Primal Forces as guests. Hell. My-She is over a century older than me. And she's on tha first of her Nine too. Abigale is tha only one with fewer years than me. Even Britt has been around longer. Although, ta be truthful, I aughta count tha years since I matured.
As tha boffins would say, I been sexually mature and Changed fer 13 years now. My dam will have likely been dead for 8 of those. If any of my litter are still on four legs, they'll be old by now. Real old. We don't kill easy. I'm like a poster cub fer how much punishment a Shifter can take and still Codril on. But fer how long? And against what odds? What am I gunna face when I front up against whatever holds Labyrinth's will? What will happen when next one of tha Reckonin zap me with their mystic blood magic? When I called on Coyote ta keep My-She from payin too high a price fer healin me, I made a deal and tha Wise know ya don’t cheat Coyote on a deal.
I didn't want ta leave debts unpaid. I wanted ta give back all I had taken. Coyote is pretty literal. I've got a feelin He’s holdin my Timor debts in tha balance too. Those ones run deep, and long. It’s a sure thing that He still has some harshness in my future, but ya know, I’ve got a path and I’m stickin to it. Where was I? oh, yeah. I’ve had some pretty heavy hitters havin a go at me, and my Kin, mostly warranted, but on this I think I aughta say something. With a few exceptions, say, Quillis tha 900 year old Elder of tha Pack, (and once Omega, once Beta, Once Alpha, who knows what rank she’ll hold next) and a few others, as best I know, we Shifters live a fairly regular Fleshie lifetime. That’s a mega bonus ta a Four-Legger like me, where at best, in captivity, we live 15 years. Ha, and folks have a go at Fleshies fer bein “fleetin”. If only they knew. Take a walk on tha Wild side, sometime.
Of course, most Shifters end up as a chunky red smear much before old age, its in our nature ta be in tha thick of it, where tha metal, tooth and claw meets tha meat. When I think of all my cousins I have met in Tox, and then either never heard of again, or heard their final howl tearin through tha greasy night, I count myself triple blessed I got my Family ta fall back on. There been some times I was pretty sure I’d end up as a rug either at tha foot of tha throne in tha Pit, or as road pizza. I know I only got tha one life. I know tha long count of my days are numbered. Fer that very reason, I gotta live every day like it was my last, like tha next thing I say is tha LAST thing I say. Like tha next touch is tha last kindness I have ta give or get.
Tha fire that burns twice as bright, burns half as long, they say, and when I look at my Brothers and Sisters, my Cousins and Loved Ones, both blessed and cursed with long lives, eternal, some of them, I can’t help but think, maybe I’m tha lucky one. I will burn hot, so hot that I will melt stone, and, Coyote willin, give them somthin ta remember me by, with a smile, before my days are through. Because that’s how I will leave my mark, eternal as fire-shaped stone.
pencil note, with sand wedged in the seams of the notebook, dated 9/07/08
=======================================
I been doin some thinkin, deep, proper thinkin. I run in some heady company. Feathers and Fallen, Fangers and tha like. These are beins who live outside tha wheel of years. We have shards of Primal Forces as guests. Hell. My-She is over a century older than me. And she's on tha first of her Nine too. Abigale is tha only one with fewer years than me. Even Britt has been around longer. Although, ta be truthful, I aughta count tha years since I matured.
As tha boffins would say, I been sexually mature and Changed fer 13 years now. My dam will have likely been dead for 8 of those. If any of my litter are still on four legs, they'll be old by now. Real old. We don't kill easy. I'm like a poster cub fer how much punishment a Shifter can take and still Codril on. But fer how long? And against what odds? What am I gunna face when I front up against whatever holds Labyrinth's will? What will happen when next one of tha Reckonin zap me with their mystic blood magic? When I called on Coyote ta keep My-She from payin too high a price fer healin me, I made a deal and tha Wise know ya don’t cheat Coyote on a deal.
I didn't want ta leave debts unpaid. I wanted ta give back all I had taken. Coyote is pretty literal. I've got a feelin He’s holdin my Timor debts in tha balance too. Those ones run deep, and long. It’s a sure thing that He still has some harshness in my future, but ya know, I’ve got a path and I’m stickin to it. Where was I? oh, yeah. I’ve had some pretty heavy hitters havin a go at me, and my Kin, mostly warranted, but on this I think I aughta say something. With a few exceptions, say, Quillis tha 900 year old Elder of tha Pack, (and once Omega, once Beta, Once Alpha, who knows what rank she’ll hold next) and a few others, as best I know, we Shifters live a fairly regular Fleshie lifetime. That’s a mega bonus ta a Four-Legger like me, where at best, in captivity, we live 15 years. Ha, and folks have a go at Fleshies fer bein “fleetin”. If only they knew. Take a walk on tha Wild side, sometime.
Of course, most Shifters end up as a chunky red smear much before old age, its in our nature ta be in tha thick of it, where tha metal, tooth and claw meets tha meat. When I think of all my cousins I have met in Tox, and then either never heard of again, or heard their final howl tearin through tha greasy night, I count myself triple blessed I got my Family ta fall back on. There been some times I was pretty sure I’d end up as a rug either at tha foot of tha throne in tha Pit, or as road pizza. I know I only got tha one life. I know tha long count of my days are numbered. Fer that very reason, I gotta live every day like it was my last, like tha next thing I say is tha LAST thing I say. Like tha next touch is tha last kindness I have ta give or get.
Tha fire that burns twice as bright, burns half as long, they say, and when I look at my Brothers and Sisters, my Cousins and Loved Ones, both blessed and cursed with long lives, eternal, some of them, I can’t help but think, maybe I’m tha lucky one. I will burn hot, so hot that I will melt stone, and, Coyote willin, give them somthin ta remember me by, with a smile, before my days are through. Because that’s how I will leave my mark, eternal as fire-shaped stone.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
ain't no place like Home
=================================
Pencil note in a messy hand, ash-smeared in places, dated 7-07-08
=================================
I have a room. A room that’s all mine. Not a bunk, not a corner of a cell. A room. All fer me. Her Ladyship has a new House, and I got a room. All fer me. I don’t have a lot of stuff, not really. Clothes, my good stuff that My-She and Her Ladyship love so much, and all tha shirts I go through. My weapons systems, tha ones that I don’t leave stashed in Tox, just in case, mind you. She had a chest put in, so I can square it all away.
My-She helped me decorate, and so did Her Ladyship. My-She got me a big rug ta lay on, used ta be a bear. Smells of Den. Its soothing. Comfy too. I put up some pictures I got made. My part of tha Great Song. A Picture of My-She. I kinda went crazy with tha walls, and covered one wall with a reccy-pic of Tox, tha other a portrait of us Three, by tha fire. That one’s in colour, so I can see it proper when I walk as Fleshie.
I said I wanted plants, so I could smell tha green, and sleep on my mat easier, and wouldn’t yua know? I came Home one time and Her Ladyship had put grassy flowers in pots all around my mat, makin a little Den fer me. Now I can wake and see plants, not just walls when I open my eyes.
So many of my Pack are there, Her Ladyship, and Hers; Poncho and Denny, Ry has tha room next ta me. Merma stays with Poncho. Jon comes by often. My-She is only a Song away, with her own home ta keep, where I feel just as welcome by her and hers.
I'll likely still bed-down in tha Library fairly often too, in case i'm needed, just curl up here by tha side of tha Fire. But i got a room of my own. Its fer me. No bars ta cage me in, I come and go as I please. I don’t know how often I’ll be stayin there, but when I do, I know I can call it Home.
Pencil note in a messy hand, ash-smeared in places, dated 7-07-08
=================================
I have a room. A room that’s all mine. Not a bunk, not a corner of a cell. A room. All fer me. Her Ladyship has a new House, and I got a room. All fer me. I don’t have a lot of stuff, not really. Clothes, my good stuff that My-She and Her Ladyship love so much, and all tha shirts I go through. My weapons systems, tha ones that I don’t leave stashed in Tox, just in case, mind you. She had a chest put in, so I can square it all away.
My-She helped me decorate, and so did Her Ladyship. My-She got me a big rug ta lay on, used ta be a bear. Smells of Den. Its soothing. Comfy too. I put up some pictures I got made. My part of tha Great Song. A Picture of My-She. I kinda went crazy with tha walls, and covered one wall with a reccy-pic of Tox, tha other a portrait of us Three, by tha fire. That one’s in colour, so I can see it proper when I walk as Fleshie.
I said I wanted plants, so I could smell tha green, and sleep on my mat easier, and wouldn’t yua know? I came Home one time and Her Ladyship had put grassy flowers in pots all around my mat, makin a little Den fer me. Now I can wake and see plants, not just walls when I open my eyes.
So many of my Pack are there, Her Ladyship, and Hers; Poncho and Denny, Ry has tha room next ta me. Merma stays with Poncho. Jon comes by often. My-She is only a Song away, with her own home ta keep, where I feel just as welcome by her and hers.
I'll likely still bed-down in tha Library fairly often too, in case i'm needed, just curl up here by tha side of tha Fire. But i got a room of my own. Its fer me. No bars ta cage me in, I come and go as I please. I don’t know how often I’ll be stayin there, but when I do, I know I can call it Home.
tha Dance, tha Song, i Know
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messy pencil note, dated 6/7/08
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much as i love livin in Tox (ha, tha livin part, especially) sometimes, a time away does a critter wonders. I managed ta slip away fer a goodly time and loose myself in warm breezes, and deep eyes.
i have rested, stuck in my Fleshie form by tha laughin grace of Lady Phoebe, in arms heated by tha Secret Flame, safer and more secure than in tha center of a brigade. I have slept and woken, and slept again, knowin no harm could come ta me.
it occured ta me this might be selfish. which isn't normal fer me. even that though was swift ta pass. there were still things ta do, but they were not Duty. there were things ta see, but it was no Mission. there were people ta shepherd but there were no Targets.
tha weight of my short years seemed ta slide away as again, She made it clear that it was who i was inside that was important ta Her, not tha scope of tha deeds i could manage. Tha feelins i have could not be greater, and seems in this chest, under tha scars, i got a heart big enough fer all of it, fer ALL those what i hold dear.
i'm blessed by bein able ta share these feelins, as best i may, in this world er tha Other. in tha spinnin Dance, in tha breathless Song, in tha looks shared by us that Know.
Always.
messy pencil note, dated 6/7/08
===================================
much as i love livin in Tox (ha, tha livin part, especially) sometimes, a time away does a critter wonders. I managed ta slip away fer a goodly time and loose myself in warm breezes, and deep eyes.
i have rested, stuck in my Fleshie form by tha laughin grace of Lady Phoebe, in arms heated by tha Secret Flame, safer and more secure than in tha center of a brigade. I have slept and woken, and slept again, knowin no harm could come ta me.
it occured ta me this might be selfish. which isn't normal fer me. even that though was swift ta pass. there were still things ta do, but they were not Duty. there were things ta see, but it was no Mission. there were people ta shepherd but there were no Targets.
tha weight of my short years seemed ta slide away as again, She made it clear that it was who i was inside that was important ta Her, not tha scope of tha deeds i could manage. Tha feelins i have could not be greater, and seems in this chest, under tha scars, i got a heart big enough fer all of it, fer ALL those what i hold dear.
i'm blessed by bein able ta share these feelins, as best i may, in this world er tha Other. in tha spinnin Dance, in tha breathless Song, in tha looks shared by us that Know.
Always.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Aphelion
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Pencil note in a much less messy hand, dated 3/7/08
=================================
last night was aphelion
we were tha furthest from tha day-star,
tha warmer and burner
we've had our longest spin,
now we're on tha wheel back
vast forces beyond our grasp move
longer than tha eye can see
instinct knows, nature knows
but tha world goes on without us
trials of love and hate
lifetimes of loss and joy
seasons pass and tha world?
it keeps on movin regardless
tha mountains grow and shrink
tha forests seed and burn
herds come and go, hunters move on
an in time ta tha wheel of tha day-star
last night was aphelion
now we run towards tha future
Fur and Fanger, Feline and Freak
Feather and Fallen, Fleshie and Feeler
tagether, we move tawards tha light
Pencil note in a much less messy hand, dated 3/7/08
=================================
last night was aphelion
we were tha furthest from tha day-star,
tha warmer and burner
we've had our longest spin,
now we're on tha wheel back
vast forces beyond our grasp move
longer than tha eye can see
instinct knows, nature knows
but tha world goes on without us
trials of love and hate
lifetimes of loss and joy
seasons pass and tha world?
it keeps on movin regardless
tha mountains grow and shrink
tha forests seed and burn
herds come and go, hunters move on
an in time ta tha wheel of tha day-star
last night was aphelion
now we run towards tha future
Fur and Fanger, Feline and Freak
Feather and Fallen, Fleshie and Feeler
tagether, we move tawards tha light
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
To Do List
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Pencil note, with stars and empty tick boxes, dated 2/7/08
=====================================
Gonna get the girl...
Gonna kill the baddies
Save the entire planet!
-Pop Will Eat Itself
Pencil note, with stars and empty tick boxes, dated 2/7/08
=====================================
Gonna get the girl...
Gonna kill the baddies
Save the entire planet!
-Pop Will Eat Itself
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