being Home

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Pencil entry dated 12/4/08
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today when i padded inta tha Library, i found Lorne and Brit standin about. Lorne had just got in too, and i have no idea where Brit goes when she aint there. I asked how they were goin, and as soon as i had closed my yap, Brit hit me with a cheery barrage of questions.

Still not a person?
When do i change?
Does it hurt?
Can i change one part at as time?
What can i change?

All in tha one breath, stumped me fer a bit, till Lorne spoke up tellin me that Brit "often asks all her questions at once", so, what could i do, i tried ta it as best i could, i don't mind talkin ta Brit about anythin, she's well, so open, and tha truth is, i think that she shoulda been told a lot more, sooner, she's not a pup anymore, but i get tha feel she's like one, inside.

So, i told her about my three forms: Fleshie, War and Native, i told her about tha bloody prankster that Luna is, and that how these days it hurts ta change, cause of tha shrapnel that i carry about in me body, and why no one has been able ta fish it out of me yet.

She got all worried about me, which was real sweet, cause, well, i'm this big hulkin scarred war-vet Shifter, right? well, i tried ta ease her fears, let her know i was awright, and that it was just a few minutes a month, that i didn't Shift all that often in Tox, it bein safer fer me in my War-Form and that even if somone tried ta magic them out, because of tha way i've healed about tha chunks, i'd been told i could die from it, and thast, anyway, feelin pain like that did a couple of good things fer me.

First up, it makes any other pain i get dealt on just wash right over me, which is a bonus, i guess, givin tha dangers of scoutin in places where yer often not wanted, and capture is always a risk, but second, it gives me an insight when i'm medicin folks, lets me tie inta their pain, and gives me a better chance at helpin em.

Twas after that, that Lorne spoke up, told me it was good "I always could see the good in somethin", and we got ta talkin about me havin been put on tha books of tha Institute, and he approved. This really meant a lot ta me, Lorne bein tha first Omegan i got ta talkin to way back when, and knowin that he and tha others thought it was a good thin ta have me. I'm still not sure what i'm gonna bring ta tha Unit, but, hell, anythin i got and anythin i not got yet is what i'll give.

Nic came on in, as Brit was practicin her "swoonin" and they had a giggly good time, which is always warmin ta my heart. Ya spend enough time stalkin through tha bloody jungle on "double-slow silent-hunt" huntin down escaped kiddie witnesses ta massacres, and well, its good ta be around folks who aint either terrified of ya or don't know yer there till yer on them and SHOULD be terrified of ya. Not that i think many of tha Omegas would be terrified of me, considerin who and what most of em are. Still tha good thing is that they have brought me in, and welcomed me more than just ta sit by their fire, but ta be part of somethin, somethin good.

So, i got a bit restless, and figured it was time ta take a run. Gotta keep tha claws ground down ya know. Well, i got tha distinct feelin that Nic was givin me tha once over, which, well, made me blush, i could feel that hit me ears, so, out i ducked, givin proper respects ta tha Library on my way out. Out inta tha night, and off i ducked. Quicker than tha arrow from tha Tartars bow.

Still not a "person", i guess, but, at least, they like me and want me ta be around. . .