Kin, pack, Blood

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Pencil entry, in the original bad scribble, dated 13/5/08
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Kin, pack, Blood.

Three little words. So much meanin. When I was in tha 7RAR-L tha words were carved by claw inta tha roof beam of tha mess-hall. Some got it tattoo'd along with tha Regiment'i insignia. Fer me it was three words that first struck me as what I was, and what I was fer. Really fer. They told us we were all tagether. A Unit. We lived tagether, faught tagether, from time ta time died tagether. All tagether in tha mud, tha blood and tha tears. That we were Kin ta each other, that we didn't' have no other family but tha Unit. That tagether we were a Pack. A big Pack. A Pack of Packs. They told us that it was in our Blood. That it was all that we were. That it was what made us mighty. That it was our right ta do what they had us do.

By right of Kinship we were mighty.
By right of Pack we were all we were.
By right of Blood we were savage.

And those words stuck. They stuck deep. They stuck so deep they got me ta thinking. They wouldn't have wanted that, but see, most of their thinkin was in order ta train fresh Two-Legs ta be better Lycans, not ta tell a Four-Legs like me that there was a bigger world out there. I guess I was kinda naïve in those early days. What they didn't count on was me wantin ta know more, about all my Kin. About how few we really were. About how tha different Types came ta be. About our furred cousins Tha Felines, and our wild Kin. I learnt about my own past, as best I could. I knew, already I was from a Zoo, when I got taught ta talk. I learnt about where I came from and that they'd taken me from my dam and littermates.

They didn't think i'd want ta learn about tha Unit, tha Pack they'd given me. Learn tha secrets I wasn't supposed ta know. They made me a better scout than they knew. Belongin ta a pack is in my bones. Followin tha heirarchy is in my nature. What they didn't figure was that i'd take it personal when they started usin my Pack as expendable ordenance. We ain't expendable. We are Pack. We live, hunt, breed and thrive. They were usin us like an M203. Just a bigger weapon. Most of my Packmates just took it on faith. They had superpowers. They were revelin in bein bulletproof killin machines. Pack means ya keep each other alive, ya live and die ta protect yer Pack. Without Pack ya are nothin, without ya, yer Pack is nothin. There are many Packs, but this one was mine. Is mine. Goddess be praised Her Ladyship took me in, I was walkin towards Tha Wide River again, lookin ta take tha long swim. Tha Boatman doesn't carry my kind. We swim wild.

They didn't think i'd care about tha blood. Tha blood we spilled fer their greed, fer tha sake of blood, fer terror and just ta clear tha path fer them. They didn't count on me carin about tha blood my Kin shed fer them. They didn't think i'd see that those we shed blood alongside, that i'd count as close as Kin or Pack. Like that king said "he who sheds his blood with me today, he shall be my brother" it didn't matta. Fight by me and i'll hold yer six, guard as ya sleep and tend ya if ya fall.

Kin, pack, Blood

I consider all tha furred peoples my kin. I don't care if ya howl, yowl, or yip. Ya got ears on tha top of yer head and a tail? Yer one of mine. Reason is, were too few, too divided and too bloody minded. Somewhere along tha line we crossed a limit, where there ain't enough Wildings, and too much Fleshie blood has mucked up tha Balance. My Kin has started ta slide towards oblivion. I won't sit on my tail and watch it. Not when I can help my cousins, my brothers and sisters.

Tha Institute are my pack. They may not think of it back, but they are. Took me in when I was walkabout, welcomed me by their fire and inta their home. Its more than shelter, they talked ta me. Her Ladyship thought i'd bring somethin ta Her Institute. Took me in fer what I am, fer who I am, in spite of what I am, or who I am. They are my pack. In every way, and i'd swim Tha Wide River fer each of them, or for it as a whole

Blood I got plenty of, blood i'll spill and blood i'll shed. Its in my Nature. Ya can only fight Nature so much, and then ya have ta let it take Its course. Ta know a bein deep enough ta not re supprised at tha way they are is ta know em by blood. Blood is our tie ta Tha Goddess. Its life. Ta spill it or shed it should be with tha respect its due. Ta be true ta ya nature is ta follow tha song of yer Blood, ta Dance Tha Goddess' Dance.

It's why I can call Choi my sister. She's Feline. So what? She's kin, she was in Tha Pack when it was MY pack, we've shed blood tagether fer good causes. Tha down side is even tossers and crazies can be Kin. Ya can't choose yer Kin. Jadienne is a perfect example. She seems ta have got herself "bit" and Changed. This is tha same gal who been bounced from Faction ta Faction, who I pulled outa Tha Wide River and came back as a Angel, with her brains all through my fur, then got knocked up, got inta a vendetta with tha fuckin Slaver, and then shaked up with him. So now she's Kin. What’s a Shifter ta do? Lorne's kit, Tandy, I call her Kin too, fer all her "tee-hee, fuckin meow, purr, scritch". She and My-She couldn't be further apart than say, Wulf and me, but gigglin aside, she's Kin, and's worth my care. She makes Lorne happy and he's pack.

Rob, now and once Beta of Tha Pack tried ta recruit me back. Gave me tha same old speeches "come ta us and get tha fear ya deserve, Hunt, kill and eat who ya like, we won’t be evil like tha others was, this time, when tha strong are in charge, it'll be better." What a load of bollocks. Tha gall of tha bastard ta in tha one breath say I should re-up so I can be part of that which that eats own. They got six Felines on their books he says, Feline meat is tha best he said. Humans are cattle ta be ett he said, and he was proud ta say he'd eaten a wolf er two in his time too. Said it'd be good if I took a Betaship. Hinted he'd be happy ta have me as Alpha. What tha fuck would did he think I was doin now? What tha hell did he think, that I wanted ta leave my Family who lived by respect, pride and love of Her Ladyship ta run with, and lead a cannibalistic "bunch of half insane fugatives, bandits, and rogues." His words. Kin they are. Pack they once were. Blood they ain't. I know where I belong.

Kin, pack, Blood. To each be true.