Killing Joah

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Dark mud smeared pencil note, dated 23/11/2008
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Tracked Spirit Gal's scent to the crane by tha Factory, and up I went, along tha rail line, as saw her sittin on the ledge. A looked at her, and tha Thing glanced up. “well, lookit there . . . far away from tha rest of tha meat?” The Thing said “The meat? I suppose you could call it that....” It just makes me so mad, this bastard, stole my Spirit Gal, wanderin around in her. So I say to it“what i dont get is if yer so old and poowerful, why take a meat body anyway? just make one meat is . . . just meat, after all” The Thing don’t much like that “That is what you think of this one? Just meat? You hurt it, you know.” Bastard. I tried ta get It ta stop gouging tha mind of Raven’s Song, I asked Tha Library ta smack her about a bit. It stopped. “i know i did got yer attention though, didn't i?” Bastard Thing told me “It's shoulder is dislocated. She hurts. I do not.” Not good. So I vaulted over tha rail from tha tracks ta tha crane and told It ta give me her arm, she don’t resist. just looked up at me. I tenderly took her arm, and feels up from the elbow to the shoulder, and closed my eyes, manipulating it. I didn’t dare open myself up ta heal it, in case it came back up tha link ta me, but I still got my trainin, and as tha Govenator said I got “detailed files” on Fleshie anatomy. “and ya know what? ta set her free?” Joah’s body winced in pain as I worked. "What?" It asked. “i'll kill her ta free her from you, if i have to” I opened my eyes and looked as her as I reset tha shoulder with a jerk.


“she may not thank me, they usually don’t but she'd be free. Free” Joah's body grits her teeth. "You think that matters?" it hisses at me, but I know what I’m dealin with by now, I think, “i dont think you have a concept ta compare it ta” The Thing reaches one hand out to the metal bar beside her. She touches it and ice coats it making it brittle. With a snap she tears it off. "You are mistaken, dog. I've watched you before the world." Tha arrogance of these Godlings, that before they were befer so much, they are beyond us, or better than us. It shits me “then ya watched dumb” I said ta It.


Tha Thing disagrees, of course it would "No. I watched with eyes wide open. Ears hearing." Joah takes the broken bar in her hand. "Each of your steps from the primoridal ooze to legs and paws and claws." She raises the bar studying it. “yer a second rate Laybrinth, and ya stole from me, and mine, least tha Huntress offered herself . . . . tha shoulder will be stiff, mind ya work inta full rotation . . . I turn away from It, and started ta climb down. The Thing called after me "I offer no one anything. I am without form." Joah raised tha bar and plunged it inta her chest, heaving Her body shuddered as it was impaled. "Waste. Void." Blood begins to form at her mouth. "See what I do to the body you care so little for, dog."


I screamed at it, and ran back up tha steps as her body began ta slump. The whispers came through her mouth didn't move. "You said you'd kill it. Let me save you the trouble." At some stage I think I tore a toe claw off, but I didn’t notice till after. I just snatched her up, held her tight and jumped off tha crane, inta tha deep water of tha port, into the water, to tha Wide River. In tha eternity between ledge and water-strike I watched the light in Joah's eyes begin ta fade. I called out with all my bein fer tha one I knew could make it there ta help me. Who would hear tha call and feel Spirit Gal’s need as I did. At tha moment we woulda hit tha water, tha oppressive heat and humidity of tha Dark Jungle slamed into us as I trudged down tha backs inta tha to Wide River. “welcome to Death” Her eyes were wide and starin, barely a flicker of life let in them. Blood streamed down her chest from tha wound. The whispers said, "If that is what you wish for her, Coyote. She won't return. The body will be .... destroyed." They echo in many voices.

Fuckin bastard would lie and cheat me of my Spirit Gal, rule one, never believe tha kidnapper with a gun to his own head. I waded in ta tha River lettin the icy dark water wash over, stingin cold in the jungles heat. Tha Thing lay limp in my arms, the voices laughed at me, those Nail-their-God-to-a-Stick folks would call it a Baptisp. I call is a Sacred Rebirth. All birth comes with pain. He heard my Call, and into tha River decended Denethorn, in true Feather Grace. I looked up at my looked up at him, eyes glazing, fur slick with blood and sweat "now!" He heard tha Call, but I guess I need ta work on content “"FB, what is going on and where am I?" he asked curiously, he was looking about, kinda like he knew, but not sure “yer in tha Wide River, Angel-Brother. Death is here.” The Thing: in a rush of whispers that filled tha silent air, "The dog wished this body to die." Joah's lips didn’t move. "He brought it here. To the river of death." Tha laughter seemed ta come up from indise me, and I didn’t like it, not one bit.

“but Death stops here, From here, nothing dies.” I lifted Joah’s body in the water “Death is my ally, here” My Angel-Brother blinked and mutters and does his best to not cry out and speak calmly "I... I am assuming the Tohu has injured, Lady Grace..."
i turned and showed tha iron bar rammed inta Joah's chest “ya could say that”
her eyes flickered as if the light is going out of them. Blood washed from her clothes, spilled from her lips inta that cold, dark water. Featherpants sighed and grumbled "How may I help?" he remains strangely calm, I guess all them years has gotten him use to this... “It tried ta hurt me by hurtin Joah, cause i told it i'd kill her ta free her. Fuckin Ancient Spirits, so much power, so little BALLS. . . . hold her?” and i offered her still body like a precious flower to him. The Thing whispered at us "I have dwelt ever in realms apart from the visible world," the voices lilt. He nodded, and took her from me "I see... Sure..." and he held his hands out to hold the beauty he calls Lady Grace and I Name Spirit Gal, we pass her, passed from one of her lovers to another, from one Brother to another.

“then ya shoulda know better than ta come ta where we can bind ya” I say ta it as her blood swirls in the cold darkness. Here’s a hint. NEVER look under tha waters of tha Wide River, unless ya don’t value yer mind. The voices whisper and the wind rushes. "The River s more ancient than the mountains, and freighted with the memories and the dreams of Time. I am beyond both." Featherpants gives its yammerin a yawn "Stupid fool does not even know I am prince of a forgotten kingdom long dead, I have dwealt in other worlds too..." I take a grip of tha bar in her chest, the icy water numbing and slowing her flesh and mine. The Thing just keeps at it whilst I do my Work. "Life is a hideous thing," the voices laugh. "You didn't want the body. I will take it" I hate It. I hate what It has done, tha contempt It has shown its vessel, my Spirit Gal. There is a covenant between spirit and flesh, and this has been flaunted. Featherpants is getting cranky now and grumbled "Look, stupid, I want the woman and the body back, stop pissing me off and shut yer trap, otherwise I'll shut it fer ya" he growls "And dn't think I can't" which is good, cause now I’m ready.

“before, maybe, but yer in tha River now, you have no idea, Old Spirit , what i sacrifice, for her. you couldn’t. you took her Fire and in this water, i give it BACK” Tha Thing gets one more shot off "Only the silent can tell all that has lain hidden," its whispers mocked. So I played my hand. I reached inta tha water, and fished in my cargo pockets for tha leather bag I had given tha Messenger. She had showed me her lucky coin, and told me she used ta make more fer her master, when she was in a cage. She’d been kind enough ta make two fer me, she knew I aint interested in wealth, and could see that it was a sacred thing fer me. So she did. Two coins fer tha River Crossing. I opened tha bag and took out tha two doubloons. “see these? Tha Messenger made em for me, know what they're for?” my Feathered Brother nodded.

My paw started ta steam and smoke as I held tha coins, I could feel tha burn, and tha tingle of tha Other Side callin. The Thing gurgled. It suddenly KNEW. Maybe Featherpants didn’t but I told themn both, ta make sure It knew. Intent is all. He blinked and told me ta be careful. But I was well past bein fuckin careful. “it burns me. its tha sacred fire of tha sun, given shape and form” I put both coins in one paw and made a fist, tha pain was searin, like a blowtorch, I could hear my paw burnin, seein flames lick between my knuckles. “I see” my Brither said, takin it in. Smoke and steam rose up from me and again, It spoke at us "cold, humorous stars only the dying sun and the pale mournful planets," the voices whisper. Featherpants snarled at it "I SAID... SHUT... UP!!!" I reached out with my other paw and griped the bar. “tha sacred source of life, tha all fire, tha light that drove tha emptiness away.

I yanked tha bar out, I could hear tha wet slurpin sound of it as it came free, runnin over ribs and back outta her meat and lungs, its smooth sides slipping cleanly from the wound and I tossed it like a dart inta tha banks of tha River. The voices lilt in a mirthful laugh. "Prying the bar means death....." Joah's body went right slack. My time was up. I pressed one coin against the wound with my burnin paw and growled out at It. “Nothing. Dies. Here. Death. Stops. Here.” Then I did something I’d have cursed ya out for a fuckin nong if ya would tell me I’d have ever done. I put tha other coin in my mouth. Featherpants smirked and whispered to It"You are wrong also in the aspect that death means nothing to us..." and she convulsed in tha water. My mouth. Oh Goddess, my mouth, it burnt, steam and fire in my mouth, in my lungs, comin outta my nose, as I felt Fetherpants pumpin power inta me from On High. I stopped bein able ta see and moved in close ta find Joah’s face. There was a pop, and I felt fire spillin outta my lips. I know I was makin noises, but all I could think of was ta kick that bastart out of my Spirit Gal.

I bent over, and kissed her, letting tha fire breathe outta me, and inta her. Sacred Flame. Sacred Kiss. Fire of Life. Kiss of Life. Between tha fuck-off pain, tha icy sting of tha River, I barely felt tha tingle of tha Other Side no more, but I knew it was there, callin me, and something else, like shadows beginin ta gather around us. At first, furtive little ones, then bolder ones in dark clouds. I could see bright red through my clenched eyes, goin ta white as Featherpants Came Forth. But then something odd happened, I felt tha River pull away from me, I didn’t move, but tha weight pulled away from my belly, my legs. Tha River was trying to get away from Life as I burned inside and out. Over my own sounds, I geard as gasp, and felt her body move. I felt tha shadows give way, and move off. I heard tha sizzle and pop of me, burnin and tha low lap of tha River, holdin back.

Spirit Gal’s voice. I heard her voice, from so far away. "Grr? D-d-denenthorn?" she was stammerin in a breathy whisper. I opened my eyes and saw, though my tears, that she was lookin up at him, from tha waters where he held her, she looked at me, and tha River washed back over me. I guess I kinds slumped inta it, spittin out that fuckin coin, which was still burnin, musta had parts of me stuck ta it. It hit tha water and boiled on tha way down fer just a second. My muzzle went under, and I heard tha Other Side callin, callin strong. Oh, Goddess, tha fear of that. I got too much ta do, I cant Cross, I owe, I owe big, and I gotta pay off my debt, like in tha deal. I coughed as that icy blackness put tha fires in me out, spultterin and in desperate panic, I scrambled up through the mud up the bank curled up into a ball, shuddering, almost out of my mind in pain, fear and grief. I know that now.

In tha Faraway I heard Featherpants sayin “Name, rank, and smethin about you no one else would know?" and Spirit Gal’s voice askin "What happened?" there was a pause, and th heat of tha Dark Jungle soaked back inta me, burnin in a different way ta tha coins did. "Nothin much, my brother just almost killed himelf to save yer ass..." I heard him yawn. And Spirit Gal, clear as a bell across a valley"Is he alright?" she asks with worry. The wind begins to stir. That was odd. Ain’t no wind by tha River, nor in tha Dark Jungle. But at tha time, all I could do was lift my head, and then I saw it, Tha Wide River. Waitin. I was sprawled on tha back, face down in tha mud and when I looked at tha River I just kicked up and away from it, whimperin and whining.

Featherpants snarled I don’t know who to "He better be, otherwise I'm gonna hunt Tohu va Bahu and utterly destroy his soul and send it to Lucifer..." musta been ta Spirit Gal, I hear her too, I try to dig a foxhole in tha mud. Everythin’s better when yer in yer hole. They can’t see ya when yer in yer hole. Tha shrapnel will miss you when yer in yer hole. Sometimes. "Take me to him...please," Joah begged. I hear their feet as they crunch and mush over to me, someone knelt next ta me and I felt a hand "Come on, FB, it's ok you did wonderful..." I looked up, saw their faces as I lay there, lookin down at me and it all came rushin back. THa firefight at tha Firebase, tha Felines comin over tha barricades, and heard tha whine, tha shrill wine of tha shell that took me here tha first time. I bet my eyes just rolled wildly from face ta face and then back at tha River, I could see my feet, pushin away from it and started clutchin my belly and chest. Tha burnin, tha burnin inside me.

I heard Spirit Gal kneelin by me too, leanin over me. The wind roared loud, the trees bent in tha wind. No wind in tha Dark Jungle, no wind by tha Wide River, it’s a still, still place. "My brother you are ok, you sacrifice much and now tat sacrifice is over and Joah is here to protect you as am I..." I opened my muzzle ta warn him, ta warn her, but I was burt too bad, all I could do was ta make a keein noise, cracked and raw and just cry, runnin paws over my old wounds and stare at tha River. Featherpants stood up, tha mud not stickin ta him and he looked down at us both and sighed as he grabbed his cane outta no-where and just guardin, like we was his most precious treasures. Spirit Gal was cryin, and holdin me. I like her eyes. She’s got nice eyes, and she always smelt good. Like fresh dress uniform. I wished I coulda smelt her then, but all I could smell was burnt me and mud. The wind began ta howl, her hair whips back, the trees bend low ta the ground.

Its time, I just wanted ta be away. I tried ta close my eyes but when I did, tha Dark comin fer her was there, waitin in my Other Sight, and that was scarier than seein tha River. Just. So I panted, clutchin my belly and Spirit Gal holds me tight, and I feel her fer tha first time, she was pourin herself inta me, takin my burns, takin it inta her. I reatched up, and clung ta her, and grabbed at Featherpant’s leg, holdin them both like I was drownin. I guess I was. A roarin sound is heard as waves from the River pounded into tha shore. "I want it back!" I guess I healed enough ta croak out “Spirit Gal . . .i love you . . .i'll always come for you, Always” as I looked from tha faces of my Brother and Sister-Lover. She looked up inconfusion and pain. "I...beloved...." She twisted her mouth, her face grimaced in pain and her lips sealed tight. It was back, so I told it, lookin from tha River to It "and that . . . that you will never know, will you?" Tha Thing convulsed as the wind howls. "She is MINE," voices say in a rush of whispers. “no, she aint. theft dont make ownership. she is HERS” I pushed myself up ta all fours in tha mud. The Thing stood, lookin from Featherpants ta me. Tha look of worry and concern on her face is off, it aint right. She laughs silently at me, unable to speak.

Featherpants lets go of his own shell as his eyes rolls into the back of his head and a strong boomin voice came outta nowhere and everywhere "Abomination!" it screams "I cal thee forth, it is time to BOW DOWN!" I couldn’t take all this, I go down inta tha mud again. He booms at It "Come out, Tohu, face a King!" as I crawl away, back ta my foxhole scratchin. The Thing turned and followed me nudged me with the toe of her boot, the reared back her foot and kicked me in tha ribs. Bastard. Tha winds seem ta pick up as a storm darker than night came forth and surrounds my Brother. The Thing looked at the sky. I grabbed at Its foot, and yankin it ta topple It, never get inta a mud fight with a jungle fighter but Featherpants trumps me "Away from HIM!" and throws up his hand, castin fuckin Lightning and aiming at Joah' body, seeming to miss by inches as his eyes flick ta me holdin her.

I go back down as tha static gives me a zap but Tha Thing just stands still, grinnin at me. She turned back toward Featherpants and smiled. His True Form, tha Darkstorm spoke "You're fucking with the wrong woman, YOUNG spirit" he held out his hand and growled "Remove you slimy paws from my Kryptonite, Tohu..."I looked up from the mud as Tha Thing stretched her arms out and smiled. The Darkstorm grabbed It by the arm "perhaps it is time for you to enter my nightmare..." The Thing whiped her head around, realisin it was in tha shit now. He looked down me as they began ta fade away, dematerializin into nothing and he whisperd "Allow chaos to handle this, rest and stay away, you will not be able to help her nor I..." I just nodded and pushe myself deeper into my muddy hole.

Even this, fer all tha risk. Fer all tha cost, was worth it, if fer nothing else, It knows what we’re willin ta do ta get her back.

Failin that. I told her.