Diplomacy at the end of a weapon

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Pencil note, dated 11/9/08, a large smear is in the middle of the entry, as if a tropical bug was splatted there
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A few weeks ago I was wanderin about, bein, Diplomatic, and came across Razzi tha Top Kat talking with Pix down by tha Voodoo Shop. I padded up as they were talking. Pix smiled and sighed "yeah lots of nice Tony bits" Razzi sighed and shook her head "I don't wanna know about his bit" Gal talk, but I can hardly let that one slide “how ARE Tony's bits, Pix? i ant seen tha fella fer ages it seems” Pix looks across to her left "Grr!!! uhhh I meant his hair" There is a bunch of winkin, gigglin and blushin, and Pix ran over an gave me be big hug, or as big as her little arms could manage. “How ya doin Athos?” I asked her, Athos, one of the three musketeers, that's Pix, tha drunk and angry one. My-She was tha sexy spiritual one, Aramis, and me? Well, i'm Porthos. Half good guy, half pirate, get it? I asked em both about their Families. Diplomacy, see? Bein on good terms with the Faction Heads, its kinda my job.

All seems well with them all, Pix waves some kinda doll at me and tells me ta guess who. A bit abstract fer me. It's a Fleshie Plushie. It smells of Pix. I tell her I can't tell, (they all kinda look tha same, ya know?) she frowned at me and then looked back at tha plushie " umm he kinda looks the same" then Razzi joins in “It's me Grr” crazy Fleshies and their colour specific eyes. “erm . . i dunno, it just smells like you, and .. ahh, i dont see colours in this form too good” but when Razzi speaks up I get thrown. She's female, and Athos said “he”. She goes on, gigglin “She misses me all the time... and made a doll of me” Athos' had enough of tha game and frowned and poked me "it's meant to be my Tony you weird Aussie prat" heh. She called me a pratt, that's great. I miss hearin slang I know, she's from Wales, or somewhere, real like Aussie talk, more so than tha Pomms. She even gets my accent.

So, she's got a Tony doll, and she works in tha Voodoo Shop . . .i tell her ta be careful of it, not ta drop it or stick it with pins or nothing, Sympathetic Magic and stuff . . ."once tagether, always tagether" and "if it looks tha same, it IS tha same" she frowned and gave that some thought "well I won't alter it in any way except....perhaps make some things bigger" seein where's she's goin, I deflect her a bit with “like fingers, it needs fingers” . . . . and she seems ta focus a bit. Screws loose when it comes ta Tony, but she nodded with determination "absolutely" when along strolls Elroy tha Kit, mewlin a greetin ta us. All fine, right up until she pointed at Athos and asked "Fairy?" Big fuckin mistake. Now we'd have ta diffuse this fast, or . . . .

Me and Razzi jump on it right away “erm, no” and "no fairies around here, Elroy" and I stage whispered ta Elroy "dont mention the fairy . . . " Too late though and Athos is all glare and snarl. Elroy just seems too damn thick ta grasp tha drama here. Bloody Felines, always poking. "Well she looks like one.." Goddess! What does it take ta get through ta some folks? “lookit her, shes huge, fairies are like this big” and I spread finger and thumb, makin like that fairies are Coke-can sized. NOT person sized like Athos is. Fer tha record, I don't know what she is, but if I got asked, and DIDN”T know she'd fly off tha handle and go inta a murderous rage? I'd say she was a fairy. Elroy just keeps ploughin deeper “Can't fairies be huge?” Like I said, too late . . .and Athos launched in raisin her voice “and you look like a stupid, stupid unintelligent pussy" Wotan was boundin past, but pulled up at that last comment. Elroy just giggled "Well what ever suits you to call me..." Athos raised her hand as if to push Elroy away "say that again" Like tha daft slapper she is, Elroy just does. “Fairy?” I just pinch my muzzle, I can feel a headache commin on, and I expect blood ta start fallin soon.

Razzi tries ta head off her subordinate off with a word “Elroy knock it off” but gets no where. “What?, Just look at her” Razzi glanced between them "This is my best friend, and she doesnt like that ... so shut up" but its all too late, Athos is riled “What suits me is to call you is a stupid, brainless, " and pauses ta sneer at her pants" stupidly dressed crappy rubbish feline" Time ta try diversion tactics “erm, so, Pix, err, can ya show me a selection of tarot card fer a friend's err . . . name day?” No dice, Elroy's got her back up now. "See that she is calling me names..." groans from all around as Athos leaned over and snarled "with good reason". Maybe Top-Kit can reach Elroy, shakin her head tellin her they'd talk later. Not tha most inspired piece of leadership I've ever seen but it ain't my family.

It don't stop Elroy's mouth from flappin though. "I'm just saying you look like an Fairy what is wrong with that?" thing is there IS. My turn ta try "Elroy, isit? now, if i came up ta ya and asked "wow, lookit tha moggie, want some kitty litter . . ." but my analogy just slid right off her “ Athos growled "I do not look like a fairy and I am not a fairy. You look like a slut... are you one?” Ever see lava roll inta tha sea? Tha sea boils, and spits, but isn't going anywhere, tha lava? It flares, and crackles, but just keeps ploughing on. That's what this was like, I swear, we need stupid-police with snipers to sort this shit out. “Well in my eyes you do sorry can't change that to me you look like one. I said look like not are one.” Elroy was just labouring. I couldn't tell if she was spoilin fer a fight and wouldn't back down, or just dumb. I turned ta Athos again, tryin ta trick or reason her outta this, give her an out, ta save face. “err, um, Pix, can we g inside and lookit some tarot cards now?” still no dice. Pix smirks "and to me you look like a stupid slut who sells their body..sorry but hey ...that's the way you look" befor she turned ta me and tried ta brush me off “later Grr, kinda busy” but I wasn;t gunna let it go, so I told her “i see ya are, but, also, see, i got this urgent need . . . .” all tha while, Wotan stood there gapin, as useful as ever. I swear, he's tha epitome of Feline maleness; pretty, buff and good at standin in fire exits.


"That is just the way you look at me but doesn't have to be so." tha Feline counters ta which Athos replied "exactly, so to you I might look a certain way but I'm not, however, I don't wander Toxia shouting that you are a slut, although I'm sure I could” My fur began to rise. This was gunna lead ta blood soon, I could tell. “and i'm not shouting you are an fairy.” Said Elroy, and I tried ta get in befor tha inevitable and sighed . . ."no one's shoutin nothin . . . ." just in time for Athos ta yell “Elroy will do you for nothing - prices negotiable” and rised her foot and pushed towards Elroy "you have a problem with me?" Elroy is startin ta understand what she's gotten herself into. Athos gets crazy about this shit. “Wow... you are taking things way out of it proportions.” Athos shook her head "you offended me" and started ta draw her sword. I looked sidelong at Razzi and said “maybe some distance, hey? Razzi?” as
Elroy kept prattling on “I was just saying what i saw and you are making a big problem of it are you sick or something?” Razzi glances at Grr "yeh?" as Athos just growled louder "I'm not the sick one here" and pulled her sword "what did you call me again?" I addressed tha small crowd “lovely day NOT ta get splattered with blood in tha street dontcha think?” Elroy just laughed and said “I said you look like and fairy.” Wotan made room and Razzi glanced at me, keepen eyes on tha two now armin up "You wanna get in the middle of those two hot heads?" which I do.

Pix glared across at Elroy and smirked "you really have no intelligence" but befer she answered that one, Elroy has a goa at her own Faction Head “I'm an hot head? She is the one making threats not me.” Who NOW tried ta cool em off “Alright ... enough already .... both of you I like having both of you in one piece I will talk to her... but I don't think a n insult like that is worth blood”, she said Athos just stamped her foot, wavin her big assed sword at Elroy "she called me a fairy, she deserves to be in a thousand pieces...and I'm the one to do it " I have another go “Pix, lluv, let it go, ya cant turn tha tide by yellin at it, its just tha sea, ya know?” just in time for that rusty tosspot Zoltar to pipe up dispensing wisdom like tha backside of a cholera victim “There is an evil tendency underlying all our technology - the tendency to do what is reasonable even when it isn't any good.” I give it a good glare “its just . . . .Athos, c'mon, ya dont wanta risk gettin yer new Tony Doll splattered, now do ya?” She cuddles her doll and kisses it "nope, but I could give it to you for safe keeping"

I put a paw on her sword, just in time for Elroy ta shout “Pix is an Fairy...” so of course Athos growls "that's it" I give my self a moment to "harden tha fuck up, snowflake", with a prayer to tha goddess mutterin aloud "oh fer fucks sake" as Athos states "Prepare yourself Kitten - you are under attack" Here is where tha line between drinkin buddies and real mates comes in. I stood up, all tha way up, and I know how tall I am, that’s one reason why I crouch so much, and I step between them as they square off on tha street Elroy unslings her guns "hold tha fuck up Pix" I told her. Not askin anymore. growlin close and low "now, do ya think ya wanna let tha Kit have tha braggin rights that they taunted ya inta a street brawl fer THIS?" Athos snarled "she asked for it" as Razzi hung her head and sighed and Elroy tried ta say it was ok "You started with the insults you brought it on youre self if you just explained calmy you where not an fairy this would never have to happen." Athos looked around my shoulder "I can take her" maybe she could, if she was in her right mind. She wasn't. So I half turned and pointed a claw at Elroy and held it up signialing to pause. She had tha piece of mind at least not cross me. That woulda pissed me off bigtime. "this is fuckin dumbassed, Pix" Zoltar coughed and rattled and spoke some more, now, THAT pissed me off "shut . . .tha .. . .fuck . . up . . . Zoltar" Athos snarled and tried ta maneuver around me, but I kept her in check. She was snarlin sayin "lemme at her". As if. "no. Its stupid."

I looked over my shoulder ta Elroy"you shoot me in tha back and i'll be pissed, right?" she's daft, did I mention that? "why would i shoot you in the back?" Athos gets it though, loopy as she is. "you get outta the way and I won't shoot you Grr go sleep" she kew I was tired. It hadn's slept since Her Ladyship had been cursed at tha Blood Ritual. Four days. I aint leavin though i'm pissed off at how dumb this is, i told them ta put up their fuckin weapons Athos growls "She called me a fairy" Elroy pipes up, still wavin her piece, "not until she lowers hers.." i told her that she had called Elroy a slut back, and that it was all just words. Athos just shook her head "she looks like one" and Elroy, like a bobble-toy, bounces back with "And you look like an fairy..." and that was it tha fightin started.

I kept between em as best i could, i wore rounds from both, i took blade cuts from both. I felt tha burn and blast of magics. One of then stunned mec good, and i dropped to a knee. By tha time i shook my head, Athos was layin in tha gutter, and Elroy was staggerin off, mouthin how hard done by she was. Athos laid there groanin as i stumbled over. I'd caught a lot of lead, steel and hex. Truth be told, that was pretty close ta droppin me, closer than i been fer a while. Calleigh tha Covenite glanced over ta Athos and sighed hopelessly then back to Elroy. "Alright guys, seriously this needs to stop. Can't have each other being torn appart just due to name calling. We're not in elementrary school here." Athos looked up and slaped tha floor she was bleedin everwhere, but she wasn't broken "I'm not a fairy" i had managed ta scramble over and lays paws on her, willing her ta mend. Elroy looked at Razzi a little sad "You call that an friend?", Calleigh frowned. "Pix, stop already..." as Razzi just shook her head "You taunted her, Elroy and you know it" at least Athos rested under my paws as i called forth Coyote's healin Athos smiled up at me, "I'm sorry " then looks to Calleigh "I guess that it's an old thing" she sighed again as she rose up then wraped her little arms around me "mmm you care" Calleigh smiled weakly. "I know, I've seen it a million times Pix..." She crosses her arms and looks to me, noddin in thanks. Athos just pulled back a little and looked at me, waiting, so i summed it all up with "course i fuckin care, ya cared fer me just as good when i had nothin, think nothin of it, Athos and hell, i been shot and stabbed plenty of times by folks i liked less" she snuggled me again "love ya Grr"

you too, Athos, you too


ya hear that Coyote? ha, tick another one off my list, healed in yer name, felt good ta put my body in harms way for somethin worthwhile.