Feedin Khali

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Pencil note, dated 24/11/2008
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Death glided up behind me makin the air cold as she came, she puts her arms around his waist to embrace me. Deaths embrace ain't nothin ta be mockin or even scornin "You do not like me much, do I give you too much work Ferryman? I thought these forms would have pleased you at least, my brothers and I are enjoying the city though we lack two vessels still". Tha Spook fidgeted. Good reason too. I stood real still "i dont answer ta yo or yer brother no more" Death breathed on my neck the cold air of what she is, like ice cubes, slippin over me. "You are mad at us for taking your lover, you can still enjoy her as she is now with my brother in charge. Much more fun that way". Death fuckin tutted me like a pup, slidin her hands down my flanks "You do and you should, you can not break such things Ferryman. I continue to reap the souls of the dead for you". Some times it takes a primal force ta confront a primal force. So I Sang. I sang slow and low to Blue's Rider

"O, Death, Won't you spare me over til another year
Well what is this that I can't see
With ice cold hands takin' hold of me
Well I am death, none can excel
I'll open the door to heaven or hell
Whoa, death someone would pray
Could you wait to call me another day
The children prayed, the preacher preached
Time and mercy is out of your reach"

I finished I said to Death "you took my sister-lover, you took my sister-lover's sister" Death said "It is fate" fuck me. How do I argue with that? I said "i aint sayin it aint Fate. i'm a servant of tha Change, i KNOW Fate. When you see your red brother, you tell him he knows my heart. i know tha role i have ta play" Death embraces me tighter, I could tell It was enjoyin the warmth of my fur, of my life. "Your role is what I say it is, their role is what I say it is. I have that right, and this vessel grows hungry". I answered It back, with what I could say was tha authority of my office. "but i am what i am, and you and your kin have taken from me and my Family" Death said "I will take from where I see fit. There is no distinction" damned Thing. It don’t, it can. It will and it did, so I said "but i dont answer to you or your red brother no more, i answer to tha Laughter, but i still walk tha Path to yer River. i will not hide that, or my duty. I got still, desperate so I asked It direct. "what do you WANT?"
Death rested her chin on my shoulder simply listening to me, "The end of all things, it is our duty and purpose after all". Shoulda expected that. So I said "ask your Red Brother the debt i have to pay in Yer and His name to tha Laughter." Death said "must I do such weary things?" interestin point there. Avoidance. They may not be here on official business, unsanctioned action. We can use that.

That don't get Spirit Gal back though. So I said "I owe nothin to tha one that took my Spirit Gal, and i will rile against that one forever, it is in my nature, my kind are excused from Its grasp, for tha most part. and i HATE IT" Death huffed a little turnin her head to nibble upon him, Death fuckin NIBBLED on me. "Ferryman stop babbling and feed my vessel". I squinted and looks at Deaths eyes, I said "burgers, or cookies? we got LOTS of rat right now, swimmin in it . . ." Death giggles in my ear, "This vessel feeds on sex, I smelt it on her before I took her".I squinted and looks at Death Seein Blue's demonic form, knowin she was trapped in there, and now Tha Thing was tellin me it was starvin. I Watched with dispair and compassion, "Khali-rama, Khali-ur, Khali-Bhavatarini. if that will appease you." Death pressed her body closer to his rubbing slightly as she purrs low, the air getting colder around her. "You disappoint me, you can not tell me you do not find this one attractive"? Death slid her hands down the front of my pants, "Then what is stopping you Ferryman? Feed the vessel". Holy Fuck. Literally. Tha Little Medic wanders in but from tha look in her eye I gather she feels she should aughta wander back out. I said "nothin stops me but desire, Khali" I leans in close so I could tell It, personal like "and you got coooold hands" I started sniffin all over Death face and shoulders. She hardly smelt of Blue Shadow, more like dust and old bones. Not my idea of an awesome scrumpin partner, even pretty lookin like It was in Blue Shadow's skin. Death purred tenderly, her tail waggin, so I could tell she was takin in the femine side ofthis body, she was rather enjoying molestin me Tha Spook was seethin with a confusion, poor critter, I figured she got no understanding of what was happenin. I traced Blue's shoulder with a clawed fingertip as i sniffled her, a hard look in my eyes as I studied It and how it responded to me. I looks over at tha Spook and asked tenderly do you know what Khali is?" Death whispers softly to him in that not-arabic they talk as she swayed her hips slightly.

Tha Spook nodded an anxious "yes", and I swayed with Blue, tracing her skin with his clawtips, intricate swirling patterns, dots, "well, little Spook, this ya see before ya is an aspect of Her". Tha Spook begins to whisper, "no, no, no" as Tha Little Medic bit her lips, worried about my proximity to tha demon. Death shivered slightly, her eyes closin to the tender attention I was give, "It is appropriate that I took a demon to live in, specially one that needs a certain food source hmm” I nodded sadly as I swayed entwined with Death, continuin ta trace patterns on her arms, back, flanks and any exposed flesh. I had a plan. Tha Spook 's voice cracks, above a whisper for the first time in her memory: "Our God who is in Heaven - hallowed be thy name. " I said "Khali the Black, Khali the Hungry, Khali the Reaper, Goddess of Death, Sex. . . . . . .” Tha Spook goes on, "THY Kingdom come, THY Will be done - in corporeality as it is in ethereality. Gee ye us this day our daily food, and forgive us our sins as we forgive the sins of those who harm us." I flicked my wrist to find purchase on an edge of cloth, then pulling it free. Death bit me on the shoulder, she kept her voice low and purrin as she directs her words to Tha Spook "It is his will that I am here". She reached her hands up under my shirt her claws trailing through my fur, tracin my scars, "His will". Tha Spook chants "Mother! Jai Ma Kali! Kali Ma! Siavea!" I was gettin close ta what I was wantin ta see, I said "are you feeling this? is this what you need for your vessel? Tha Little Medic watched on anxiously as Death replies “full feeding I believe requires copulation” whilst Tha Spook sings "Shanti prava prava, om shivaya!" I think maybe she was startin ta be faced with what she was MEANT ta be, I said "and what does your vesel think of that? we aint exactly close . . .” Death said “I do not care what the vessel thinks, tell that one to be silent or I send her to where she belongs” I distracted her by tuggin away more of her clothes befer turnin my muzzle towards Dryl "dont you get yerself fried . . . . i know what it is that i'm doin, tha Gods require offerins, and tha vessel . . .Blue Shadow, she dont deserve ta starve because of this, Spirit Gal neither, and i fed her too . . ." Damn Death stuck its boney mit in sayin “the Ferryman is so giving to the poor things we enslave, her hunger batters me. I have never felt what this is before, it will be new to me” Poor Spook, she was all but beggin me ta stop. I traces more shapes into the back and flanls of Blue with his claws, pressing hard enough to raise whelts but not yet break the skin

Death drew her hand to his chest, she nibbles along his neck. "Make her bleed, that is not wise I know what her blood does". I offered tha Spook a sad smile and told her "i am a Shaman, Little Spook, i have a Sacred Duty, i cant pick and choose how i play my part, Tha Goddess gave me tha strength, Coyote gives me tha Will, and if not me, then someone else, someone who's soul aint prepared, and they might not fare so well . . ." Tha Spook was weepin, tryin ta make head or tails outta this. She’s lookin about like she was tryin ta find help. Death thought about what I had said, “Could always try Delrith she loves so much, what a tear it would be for him. Once again for him to be betrayed” I looks right at Death’s eyes as i griped her tight and pulls her close growling "dont think i aint fergot that, neither, this blood sent me back ta Timor. This blood is madness and death. Sex and madness." Death slid herself around to face him kissing him on the nose, "Line of Belial... Lord will not be pleased with this but I however am” I griped Death so tight that my clawtips began ta work through tha fabric and into tha skin "not be much use to ya if i was a screamin comabt vet again, now, would i?" Tha Spook collapses, and Tha Little Medic bends down ta tend her, as best she may, with soft words. Death lifted her right leg hookin it around me, the spikes on her thigh rakin me, but not doin me too much grief, "True enough Ferryman". Lickin her lips she gave a low and fervent moan, lettin it course through her body in a tremor.

I feel all these conflictin things, Blue is in there, back-stabbin, poison spreadin, Shadow Demon without a conscience. She’s locked in her own body, bein toyed with like a meat puppet. Spirit Gal’s heart-sister. I can feel my expression change from anger to compassion, to despair and resignation "i do this as an offering to tha Goddess, in Coyote's Song.” I offer my blessing to Life. To Laughter. There is no life without death, no death, without life, and both sides of tha coin must be honoured. I pulls more of Blue’s clothes free, as Death draws me closer to her, "You are an odd one Ferryman, always have been". She pushed up my shirt to bite at my chest, tracin tha scars that brought me ta her service in tha first place, her tail wagged slowly in tha air around her cold but now full of the energy she needed. I said ""do what thou wilt, and that shall be tha whole of tha fuckin law" and with that, I lifted my shirt, so It would feed and be gone. I bared tha deep and unnatural criss crossing of deep scars running over my furred belly, chest, back, up his left arm and into my waistline. Death lingers over my form staring at it, she licks over every inch of me she bites upon trailing each of tha scars I bear from her callin. She paused in her actions and backs away from him, all of a sudden"That is enough". Her cheeks were warm despite the cold she produced, she was shakin from things she never felt before it was overloading her. "I will take no more, I can not".

I think I called its bluff. I said "do my scars offend ya? they are tha badge that binds me to you and yer Red Brother. they were His gift ta me, and as i lay bobbin in tha Wide River, i came inta my callin as Guide of tha Dead. This is tha mark that bound me to ya both.” Death puts a hand to her face, "They do not offend me, I had not counted on the vessel feeling so much". I pulled my shirt back on and covers up tha scars. Seems maybe It bit off more than it felt like swallowin this time around. Now, I’m not fond of braggin, but it put a glow in my pants ta think that Death-as-Khali had had enough before it’ shad gotten inta my pants. I said "i would never let my Family starve whilst i stood by, whole and fit. and tha body you have taken is tha sister of tha heart to my Spirit Gal, my sister-lover. i offer to her that what she needs, i do this fer Kin, pack and Blood” Death shook a little takin the last strands of lust from around them, "It has been many centuries since I took over a coperal form, I do not need your lecture on family. No matter I will get accustomed to it and use it to its fullest". I look Death in Its eyes and make my point, I was talking ta Blue. “well, maybe im tellin HER that”

Raven's Song wanders in from the front, makin her way down the stairs to the lower seatin area. Death shifts her weight on her feet, "One of yours is here".
I nodded and finished fixin my clothes as Raven's Song halts, her head snappin up as she peers toward the sound of the voice, her gaze shiftin immediately to me as her body goes tense, eyebrow quirked. I looked up her feelin sad, tired in tha eyes "g'day Raven's Song. i been sharin a sacred meal with Khali here" Death giggles as she bounced past me, groping my groin fondly before soddin off. "More like starters", she moves for the door her shadow being dragged behind her bound and tied. It screamed in protest but, silent. I said "if ya see tha Little Medic, Wire, or tha Spook, Dryl, tell em i'm awright, will ya, they were aweful worried fer me soul.” Raven's Song 's eyes narrow as she repeats. "Sharin'?" she looks toward Death, wary and cautious as though making ready for near anything. I sneered at the passing of Blue's body. Death said “Next time Ferryman” I said "knot you” don’t get much more personal than that, really.

Raven's Song watches Blue leave... then turns her head to peer over her shoulder at me. "Are you... Are you alright?" No, I aint awright. I just fed tha enemy, one of tha things that sotle my Spirit Gal away, but I did it fer a reason, and I learnt more about it cause of that. It gained something it could get anywhere, I gained something it’d never let me know otherwise. I said "seems i'm too much beast fer It ta bite off in one helpin, is all. Blue, tha real Blue, she, err, feeds on passion, fuckin . . .Death that Rides needs ta feed its prisoner. i was tha warm body it took a first shinin to, mostly ta spite me i figure, or more likely, ta spite Blue Shadow. sacred duty of a Shaman, Raven's Song, ta partake of tha Great Rite, and honour tha gods and That . . . . embodies Khali, as well as holdin Joah's heart-sister captive. it got its passion, and then had enough. kept my pants on, if thats whats botherin ya?”


Raven's Song said “They've got other ways of feeding. I may be chaste but I am familiar with tantric. What concerns me is that you're feeding the very thing we're going to need to combat. Yes, she's your friend, and Joah your love but, right now, neither are themselves and... weaker is better... at least from what I've learned." She got quiet a moment, like she thought se’d probably spoken out of turn. "But, my strength is yours. I gave you my oath. I'll do what you ask."
I shakes his head " i dont think they need tha body strong fer them, they got all tha power they need" I paused and looks around, then stops, and quickly looked back at Raven’s Song "yer chaste? as in no breedin and scrumpin?” I looked where Blue went "well, fer me, err, not bein ever been a Fleshie, its natural as livin and feedin, and ya know, gave me a wee chuckle knowin i was offerin life ta Khali, see tha symetry there? i think, one day, Raven's Song, ya'lll find a mate worthy of ya. i'm a pack creature, i believe in tha sanctity of a matriarchy, and sustainin Family.” Raven's Song said “Khali is the mother Goddess. The Hindu equiv to Gaia, Nature Goddess and who I... we... Wiccan give knee to.” I nods to Rhaven " not tha kind mother ya might be thinkin of, "Khali the Black, Khali the fierce, Khali the Hungry, Goddess of sex and death, the Jackal Rider”

And I made her buck.