===================================
messy pencil note, dated 6/7/08
===================================
much as i love livin in Tox (ha, tha livin part, especially) sometimes, a time away does a critter wonders. I managed ta slip away fer a goodly time and loose myself in warm breezes, and deep eyes.
i have rested, stuck in my Fleshie form by tha laughin grace of Lady Phoebe, in arms heated by tha Secret Flame, safer and more secure than in tha center of a brigade. I have slept and woken, and slept again, knowin no harm could come ta me.
it occured ta me this might be selfish. which isn't normal fer me. even that though was swift ta pass. there were still things ta do, but they were not Duty. there were things ta see, but it was no Mission. there were people ta shepherd but there were no Targets.
tha weight of my short years seemed ta slide away as again, She made it clear that it was who i was inside that was important ta Her, not tha scope of tha deeds i could manage. Tha feelins i have could not be greater, and seems in this chest, under tha scars, i got a heart big enough fer all of it, fer ALL those what i hold dear.
i'm blessed by bein able ta share these feelins, as best i may, in this world er tha Other. in tha spinnin Dance, in tha breathless Song, in tha looks shared by us that Know.
Always.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Aphelion
=================================
Pencil note in a much less messy hand, dated 3/7/08
=================================
last night was aphelion
we were tha furthest from tha day-star,
tha warmer and burner
we've had our longest spin,
now we're on tha wheel back
vast forces beyond our grasp move
longer than tha eye can see
instinct knows, nature knows
but tha world goes on without us
trials of love and hate
lifetimes of loss and joy
seasons pass and tha world?
it keeps on movin regardless
tha mountains grow and shrink
tha forests seed and burn
herds come and go, hunters move on
an in time ta tha wheel of tha day-star
last night was aphelion
now we run towards tha future
Fur and Fanger, Feline and Freak
Feather and Fallen, Fleshie and Feeler
tagether, we move tawards tha light
Pencil note in a much less messy hand, dated 3/7/08
=================================
last night was aphelion
we were tha furthest from tha day-star,
tha warmer and burner
we've had our longest spin,
now we're on tha wheel back
vast forces beyond our grasp move
longer than tha eye can see
instinct knows, nature knows
but tha world goes on without us
trials of love and hate
lifetimes of loss and joy
seasons pass and tha world?
it keeps on movin regardless
tha mountains grow and shrink
tha forests seed and burn
herds come and go, hunters move on
an in time ta tha wheel of tha day-star
last night was aphelion
now we run towards tha future
Fur and Fanger, Feline and Freak
Feather and Fallen, Fleshie and Feeler
tagether, we move tawards tha light
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
To Do List
=====================================
Pencil note, with stars and empty tick boxes, dated 2/7/08
=====================================
Gonna get the girl...
Gonna kill the baddies
Save the entire planet!
-Pop Will Eat Itself
Pencil note, with stars and empty tick boxes, dated 2/7/08
=====================================
Gonna get the girl...
Gonna kill the baddies
Save the entire planet!
-Pop Will Eat Itself
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Tha Lady doth protest . . .
==============================================
Pencil notes, scribbled hastily, some sections in thick pen, dated 30/6/08
==============================================
gonna try ta put down in writin what happened testerday, in case i loose it.
Spent too much time not doin, time ta get out and patrol. Thought it was a good time ta talk ta tha Righteous and tha Shadows about their takin up arms tagether against Tha Reckonin. It had worked, but tha butchers bill was steep fer tha pound of flesh they got. Still, anything that brings those two Factions tagether is good, right? Wrong. I spoke with Jon, he seemed ta think tha alliance would last as long as tha threat did. Fair enough. Tha Cybers didn't think so, they seemed ta be splitting down tha middle over sidin with tha Shadows, Portia and her crew, and tha rest. No such risk in tha Righteous, they keep a close House.
I headed over towards tha Pit, by way of tha Cat-House, runnin inta Quiet and her pet on tha way, talking with Rau. Crazy stuff goin on tween them three. Nuku was trailin me, had been since meetin Jon, none too subtle, but, it aint like she's a trained scout . . . I asked who was head Shadow on watch, got Kishi, eventually. That was good news, she and me got a common ground, kinda. SO over to tha Pit I went, getting more and more jittery as I did. Bad memories, worse fer tha ones I missed.
I got there and made my case again. Not tha warmest of welcomes. Didn't expect one. Kept my exits clear, even when they were circlin. Legion was there, doin its thing on some poor body. They had a girl up on tha alter too. She was singin, creepy, and . . ..sad. But I wasn;t there fer tha entertainment. I had questions. Tha answer? Tha Shadows hated tha Reckonin more than they hated Tha Righteous. More than they hated tha Institute fer bringin back Dimentox, and to at least some of their minds, causin tha Reckonin ta come in tha first place.
As I was negotiatin . . .i got tha fur-raisin tingle of Legion's minds in mine. "If nothing is resolved with them you speak with, You may always converse with Us once We have finished soothing the wounds to this one's soul" That Thing always freaked me out, but, ever since tha day in tha Library, Tenguska Day, I say that it showed its true Nature. Creepy, ancient, and . . . not like me. I looked across Tha Pit follr at it, and finished my diplomatic visit. Collected my sword from where I left it by their doors, and bugged tha hell out of there. I can almost smell Maverick's fur burnin still.
I headed to tha bay, catchin a scent as I went, Rizal's words ringin in my ears “when its done, we aoguth ta round all of you from tha Institute up and burn ya at tha stake.” I was freaked, and combat ready as I pounded down tha dusty road. I saw Her. With Jon, in front of tha Voodoo shop. She was hittin tha Zoltar machine. With her head.Jon poked Her Ladyship on the shoulder "Hello?"she flinched at his touch, muttering at tha machine as I ran up sniffing, scanned rooftops, corners, windows looking for threats.
Two combatants, South East corner, small arms, self-engaged. One non-combatant, melee weapon, observin group 1. Threat level, collateral damage from incoming over-shooting. I put myself in line of fire from the most obvious threat, meat shield style. Jon looks to me with a confused look "Umm...Grr...is everything alright?" as Her Ladyship rests her hands on the glass, starting intently inside mutterin under her breath.. “no.. no.. she isnt.. you lie.” I take a quick snap over my shoulder to Her Ladyship, then keep scanning, watching as I speak ta Jon “just . .. had . .a conversation with Tha Shadow command . . . Kishi and Rizal, we aint popular”
Jon keeps his eyes on Omega with a confused look as She balls her hand inta a fist, as she begins thumping the glass...he says to me "No kidding...what else they say?" Now I'm really getting spooked, trembling with combat awareness. Not good. Too exposed, Her Ladyship compromised. She mutterd.. “no, no, you lie, not my childe, she is not.. she is not...” I pause and answer Jon “oh. . . that we caused tha Reconin ta come, after raisin Dimentox and aint doin” . . .. Her Ladyship starts ta yell now “shut up shut up shut up” breakin my conversation off. I figure I need ta reach her “Lady, Yer Ladyship? OMEGA” She started poundin on the glass in earnest now.. yellin “you LIE! you LIE!!” Cant have that . . . so I turned and grappled Her Ladyship, locking limbs to prevent her striking out, just a second too late, as she lashed out, smashing glass, sending pieces flying..
She kept screamin “YOU LIE! YOU LIE AND SHE IS NOT AND YOU LIE” snarlin at me, struggling in my grasp as I sliped arms and shoulders, locking and gripping, as gently as may be without giving an inch, military training kicked in swftly. I was always good at subdual combat. I try ta talk her down, first step, "Lady . . .Omega. no, it is a fuckin piece of junk, and not worth yer rage" Jon put his hand under her chin and forces her gaze to his as he stared into her eyes "OMEGA! Get a hold of yourself!" he looked over her strugglin form ta me. I'm a lot bigger than Her Ladyship. "What is going on?" I put a foot pad on the machine and pushed us both away from it and looked at Jon "grief, mate, traumatic stress syndrome" Her Ladyship struggled in my arms, taking in great gouts of air she doesn't need, blood tears streaming down her face.. I maneuvered Her from looking at the machine and back towards the sea-gate. Jon felt Her warm blood on his hand and pulled it away shocked. Typical Fleshie response, they got aversions ta fluids. He looks back to me "Over what?" guess he missed tha memo. "loss of Family, mate, starts with an Enn" Omega growled as Jon perked a brow, shakin her head, glass falling out of her hair.." She is not.. she is not.."
Time ta go, I lifted Omega bodily for a moment, and places her down facing the sea. Tha Zoltar machine spoke, I hate that thing, so I let slip a snarl myself and bent at the hip, still clutching Her Ladyshid from behind, and delivered a swift side kick to the machine, knocking it over and de-powering it for a moment, at least. My guess was right. Her Ladyship see's tha sea and shudders, "she is not, and it is not so, and she is not, and it lies, this thing.." I shook my muzzle towards tha water "Jon, walk with me, look her in tha eye" he stared in disbelief and noded in time with Her Ladyships eyes focusin on the tanker and her gaspin "she is here, she must be here, she sleeps.." as I frog-march her over tha sand. "c'mon, little further" I try ta reach her, but she tries to pull out of my grip, close enough. I gently released Her now She was out of danger. Tha beach was empty. "i will go. into the sea... and I will find her.. I will show that thing.. it lies.. it lies and she is not.." Bad idea. "wait . .Lady . . she is away . . ." its not a lie. I don't lie. It was true. Nareth wasn't at her home under tha waves.
Her Ladyship just kept stumblin towards the shore, Jon lunged forward quickly "Thats not such a good idea.." as I dove after her as well. Jon grabed her shoulder and softly says "Omega...come on back to dry land.." might have ta swim, "i will find her and I will show them I will show them all she is not, she is not.." So i throw off my coat. Jon's grip tightend as he said more harshly "Omega...get back to the land...you will find nothing out there..." Omega flinched at the touch, shruggin out of it as she tried to wade into the sea.. "Lady . . .yer Ladyship, . . .Omega . .. shes.. . not here. shes . . . gone away" I can't say it its not gunna help more than it'd harm. But I can't lie ta Her. "not here, she is not here, never here.." she goes on and Jon sighed and looks to me as he said flatly "Got a knife?"
Legion's whispers drift again to me, sounding more somber "Her soul would not have her. She wished to be complete, but her soul refused to return. A rebirth was required..." I feel my essence manifest as a dry tumbleweed rustle in reply, in the time between heartbeats thump "not all vessels can be refilled once shattered, not all life can refill its own shell once it leaves tha nest"
I’m in a daze from tha contact with Legion as i pull my KA-BAR and hand it over, looking nervous at Her Ladyships face. It was covered in bloody tears as she snarls at us fer trying to stop her.. "I will find her and I will show them.. that she is not.. she is not.." Jon took the KA-BAR and rolled up his sleeve. He pressed the blade to his wrist and winces as the combat knife slices his veins, the scent of his blood filling the air "Omega...come back here ...look ...fresh blood.." Her Ladyship's head turned.. I saw it, too late. Damn Legion "wait .NO!" is all I could manage as I tried ta tackle Jon and cover him with meself before She reached him. Too slow. Her Ladyship steps in, snarling at me as she shoulders me aside. I see Jon fall ta tha ground as I hit him but I feel Her fling me well aside. I hit tha sand and plough a deep wall of sand as I come to rest, scramblin up shaking my head, moving without knowin, instinct taking hold as Her Ladyship steps forward, grabbing onto Jon's wrist.. He holds the blood covered arm up "Come on...come get it..." Bloody drongo don’t know what he’s doin, he’s signin his death warrant. She almost killed Poncho when she was like this last. Tenguska Day. In tha Library, the day I first saw what Legion was . . . I almost reach them , yellin “fuckin CRAZY FLESHIE . . ..”
Legion is only dark, and broken bits of once was the glory of dawn "Nareth, who is no more, will be...something else...and you may call her Labyrinth...We are not the way back to the mortal plane, but she is attracted most to Us...most to Our daughter...why will she not pass on? She is deceased so many times over, before We ever met her. What know you, shaman of Gaea, over imparting peace to the weary soul of one who sews weary agony, and disarray?"
Jon slowly pulled her back further onto tha beach, keeping her from tha water, distracting her and looked to ma and mouthed the words "Restrain her while she's distracted" All I can say is “ FUCK!” as I reach them. Her Ladyships 's eyes are still filled with bloody tears as she begins to laugh.. “little meat puppet.. little human.. blink in the eye thing...you would keep me, from my childe? you?” Her eyes glow, feral.. I have a plan, shaking Legions voices out of my head. I pulled my sword from my belt, scabbard and all and slipped it between them swiftly, flat blade on her belly, subtly as I could with Her distracted, griped the handle in one paw, the tip in the other. Jon snarled as the blood drips from his arm, his eyes beginnin to glow as well. Perfect, great. "She is not there...I'm keeping you from nothing..." I see Her 's grip on Jon's wrist becomin vice-like. Shelaughs bitterly.. a sound devoid of sanity..”I will end you, meat puppet.. and I will find my childe” Jon smirks as he feels the grip tighten and launches his foot toward her legs . Good move that one. HE might make it after all. She lurches, unbalanced, Her grip on Jon's arm strong..
My essance rustles as tumbleweed over scree replying to Legion as I gripped, focussed on saving Her Ladyship from Herself "the Vessel is only that, the Spirit within will do as it will, go to the Next, Pass on, Return or Lessen, my Path only allows me to guide, not to change, that choice" another heartbeats thump, another moment of being out of myself at a time I can not afford.
Her Ladyship snarls, shoving violently, unheeding of the blade at her stomach Jon pulled his arm in with a sharp jerk and stares in her eyes, he growls "She's dead Omega...she's gone...you won't find her.."She pushed closer, against my pullin leanin on the blade, pushin towards Jon..i kept pullin, using the flat sheathed steel as a pry bar, prayin the laminated metal will flex and give enough to pull Her off him. Somethin happens, Her body changes, tensions shift. She said real low and very quiet..”What did you say?” I paused in my pull as she releases his wrist over Her shoulder I saw Jon’s eyes take on a full glow as he snarled with an ethereal edge "You won't find her out there...she's gone...ashes to ashes...dust to dust.." Bad call, Fleshie . . . I felt her start trembling again, and took my grip, pullin again “What did you say?” Jon just repeated in a low tone "Ashes to ashes.." Nodding slowly as she asked “dead? Nareth? my Nareth? my lamb?” I just leant in close over her, sword still slipped in place as a prybar, sheathed and bending Jon looked up at me, I don’t know what was in his eyes, but he looked back to Her. He nodded slowly once more.
She shook her head.. “dead.” Her arms darted out again, reachin for Jon's arm as Denny decended from tha sky nearby. Jon’s wound slowly closed with dried blood around it. He tilted his head to the side ta look to Her. I just leaned his head in close over the top of Her Ladyship’s shoulder and starts to pull again on my makeshift prybar. Not enough. She tuged him forward.. “ My Nareth. Dead.” I’m pantin at the strain, She lurched forward and all of a sudden realised what's holdin her back.. Me. She shoved hard, backwards, into me, windin me, but I still got my grip, still got Her from behind, away from tooth and claw, I’d take Her by tha neck and shake Her if I was gonna kill Her, prime position fer ambush kill. Never in a million lifetimes could I do that. I hesitated. She didn’t She turned, shoving me with one hand, Her other still gripped on Jon's wrist. Blood was a bigger attraction than smackin me down. She looks back to Jon, staring at his wrist..
Legion nods, swaying in a night breeze, swarming momentarily, and forming a flash of a vision of the figure of Raven, dispersing as quickly with a guttural caw, whispering "Grr, you are aligned with psychopomp such the soul shall end out one place. You know, and accept psychopomps other, that ferry souls to other sunless lands--other sunless lands more fitting the soul ferried?" The unseen impression of Raven shakes it's head, sighing with the sound of many winds, all to the south...all to winter...all to end times, and sleep, sad at the loss of creation. The next words whispered are twinged with agony, sounding on the verge of tears for the epic hero died early "We shall love you to ferry her elsewhere. We shall adore your being for bringing her from darkness to happy hunting grounds, or dreaming time" The voices are more and more, multitude upon multitude, and expanding, in pain without panacea, in pain...and into night "We shall beg you to bring her from the cold and lonely night...."
I staggered, Legion had cut me deep, deep ta my soul. Legion brought forth Raven, the Watchman of the Passed. Raven had asked of me a boon. Me. ME who had sent so many over the waters without a second thought. That was the longest heartbeat I can remember. I staggered. Sheathed sword slipped from my numb paws as She twisted below me, off balance for a moment on the shifting sand Jon stared up once more and growled "She's gone...now let go or do something...either way snap the hell out of it.." Bloody fool of a Fleshie, I’m out of it, I cant help him, couldn’t be feel that ? Her Ladyship growls at him “do something? well, that's permission if ever I heard it”. I manage ta recover enough sense ta put a paw on Her shoulder to pull her as he readjusts his balance. My second big mistake. I’m fast, I got fast reflexes, I see things as they are, as they will be, and all I could see was Her slender wrist loomin closer and closer, and tha back of her fist comin around ta tha side of my muzzle. I could hear her snarl. I heard tha thud, tha crunch, tha shatterin of bones in my head, and jaw, neck. I didn’t feel anything. That was nice, just got ta go fer tha ride.
I was conscious as I watched the sand slide under me like clouds as I flew across tha beach. I could hear tha waves breakin like a roar of a waterfall. Real peaceful, it was. I wondered what Raven thought I could do fer Nareth, fer Labyrinth. I wondered if Her Ladyship was gonna be mad at me fer haulin her around like a sack of potatoes. I hit tha sand, digging my own little crater, shiftin ta my birth form. I heard Her Ladyship say, real far away “Do something, do something he says. Does this qualify?” I wondered where My-She was and what we were goin ta have fer dinner, after we had our fun.
My essence’s connection with Legion got cut off with a flash of Omega's knuckles and red, then blackness, and the sound of waves. I wonder if it felt it too.
I woke in tha Library. Her Ladyship holding me in her lap. I was still in breed form. It had been hours. She carried me back and held me till I woke up. She wasn’t mad at me. So sad. She hugged tha Central Pillar where Nareth once stood. Channelin rage, pain, fear, anger.
Tenguska.
I’m goin ta bring her back.
Pencil notes, scribbled hastily, some sections in thick pen, dated 30/6/08
==============================================
gonna try ta put down in writin what happened testerday, in case i loose it.
Spent too much time not doin, time ta get out and patrol. Thought it was a good time ta talk ta tha Righteous and tha Shadows about their takin up arms tagether against Tha Reckonin. It had worked, but tha butchers bill was steep fer tha pound of flesh they got. Still, anything that brings those two Factions tagether is good, right? Wrong. I spoke with Jon, he seemed ta think tha alliance would last as long as tha threat did. Fair enough. Tha Cybers didn't think so, they seemed ta be splitting down tha middle over sidin with tha Shadows, Portia and her crew, and tha rest. No such risk in tha Righteous, they keep a close House.
I headed over towards tha Pit, by way of tha Cat-House, runnin inta Quiet and her pet on tha way, talking with Rau. Crazy stuff goin on tween them three. Nuku was trailin me, had been since meetin Jon, none too subtle, but, it aint like she's a trained scout . . . I asked who was head Shadow on watch, got Kishi, eventually. That was good news, she and me got a common ground, kinda. SO over to tha Pit I went, getting more and more jittery as I did. Bad memories, worse fer tha ones I missed.
I got there and made my case again. Not tha warmest of welcomes. Didn't expect one. Kept my exits clear, even when they were circlin. Legion was there, doin its thing on some poor body. They had a girl up on tha alter too. She was singin, creepy, and . . ..sad. But I wasn;t there fer tha entertainment. I had questions. Tha answer? Tha Shadows hated tha Reckonin more than they hated Tha Righteous. More than they hated tha Institute fer bringin back Dimentox, and to at least some of their minds, causin tha Reckonin ta come in tha first place.
As I was negotiatin . . .i got tha fur-raisin tingle of Legion's minds in mine. "If nothing is resolved with them you speak with, You may always converse with Us once We have finished soothing the wounds to this one's soul" That Thing always freaked me out, but, ever since tha day in tha Library, Tenguska Day, I say that it showed its true Nature. Creepy, ancient, and . . . not like me. I looked across Tha Pit follr at it, and finished my diplomatic visit. Collected my sword from where I left it by their doors, and bugged tha hell out of there. I can almost smell Maverick's fur burnin still.
I headed to tha bay, catchin a scent as I went, Rizal's words ringin in my ears “when its done, we aoguth ta round all of you from tha Institute up and burn ya at tha stake.” I was freaked, and combat ready as I pounded down tha dusty road. I saw Her. With Jon, in front of tha Voodoo shop. She was hittin tha Zoltar machine. With her head.Jon poked Her Ladyship on the shoulder "Hello?"she flinched at his touch, muttering at tha machine as I ran up sniffing, scanned rooftops, corners, windows looking for threats.
Two combatants, South East corner, small arms, self-engaged. One non-combatant, melee weapon, observin group 1. Threat level, collateral damage from incoming over-shooting. I put myself in line of fire from the most obvious threat, meat shield style. Jon looks to me with a confused look "Umm...Grr...is everything alright?" as Her Ladyship rests her hands on the glass, starting intently inside mutterin under her breath.. “no.. no.. she isnt.. you lie.” I take a quick snap over my shoulder to Her Ladyship, then keep scanning, watching as I speak ta Jon “just . .. had . .a conversation with Tha Shadow command . . . Kishi and Rizal, we aint popular”
Jon keeps his eyes on Omega with a confused look as She balls her hand inta a fist, as she begins thumping the glass...he says to me "No kidding...what else they say?" Now I'm really getting spooked, trembling with combat awareness. Not good. Too exposed, Her Ladyship compromised. She mutterd.. “no, no, you lie, not my childe, she is not.. she is not...” I pause and answer Jon “oh. . . that we caused tha Reconin ta come, after raisin Dimentox and aint doin” . . .. Her Ladyship starts ta yell now “shut up shut up shut up” breakin my conversation off. I figure I need ta reach her “Lady, Yer Ladyship? OMEGA” She started poundin on the glass in earnest now.. yellin “you LIE! you LIE!!” Cant have that . . . so I turned and grappled Her Ladyship, locking limbs to prevent her striking out, just a second too late, as she lashed out, smashing glass, sending pieces flying..
She kept screamin “YOU LIE! YOU LIE AND SHE IS NOT AND YOU LIE” snarlin at me, struggling in my grasp as I sliped arms and shoulders, locking and gripping, as gently as may be without giving an inch, military training kicked in swftly. I was always good at subdual combat. I try ta talk her down, first step, "Lady . . .Omega. no, it is a fuckin piece of junk, and not worth yer rage" Jon put his hand under her chin and forces her gaze to his as he stared into her eyes "OMEGA! Get a hold of yourself!" he looked over her strugglin form ta me. I'm a lot bigger than Her Ladyship. "What is going on?" I put a foot pad on the machine and pushed us both away from it and looked at Jon "grief, mate, traumatic stress syndrome" Her Ladyship struggled in my arms, taking in great gouts of air she doesn't need, blood tears streaming down her face.. I maneuvered Her from looking at the machine and back towards the sea-gate. Jon felt Her warm blood on his hand and pulled it away shocked. Typical Fleshie response, they got aversions ta fluids. He looks back to me "Over what?" guess he missed tha memo. "loss of Family, mate, starts with an Enn" Omega growled as Jon perked a brow, shakin her head, glass falling out of her hair.." She is not.. she is not.."
Time ta go, I lifted Omega bodily for a moment, and places her down facing the sea. Tha Zoltar machine spoke, I hate that thing, so I let slip a snarl myself and bent at the hip, still clutching Her Ladyshid from behind, and delivered a swift side kick to the machine, knocking it over and de-powering it for a moment, at least. My guess was right. Her Ladyship see's tha sea and shudders, "she is not, and it is not so, and she is not, and it lies, this thing.." I shook my muzzle towards tha water "Jon, walk with me, look her in tha eye" he stared in disbelief and noded in time with Her Ladyships eyes focusin on the tanker and her gaspin "she is here, she must be here, she sleeps.." as I frog-march her over tha sand. "c'mon, little further" I try ta reach her, but she tries to pull out of my grip, close enough. I gently released Her now She was out of danger. Tha beach was empty. "i will go. into the sea... and I will find her.. I will show that thing.. it lies.. it lies and she is not.." Bad idea. "wait . .Lady . . she is away . . ." its not a lie. I don't lie. It was true. Nareth wasn't at her home under tha waves.
Her Ladyship just kept stumblin towards the shore, Jon lunged forward quickly "Thats not such a good idea.." as I dove after her as well. Jon grabed her shoulder and softly says "Omega...come on back to dry land.." might have ta swim, "i will find her and I will show them I will show them all she is not, she is not.." So i throw off my coat. Jon's grip tightend as he said more harshly "Omega...get back to the land...you will find nothing out there..." Omega flinched at the touch, shruggin out of it as she tried to wade into the sea.. "Lady . . .yer Ladyship, . . .Omega . .. shes.. . not here. shes . . . gone away" I can't say it its not gunna help more than it'd harm. But I can't lie ta Her. "not here, she is not here, never here.." she goes on and Jon sighed and looks to me as he said flatly "Got a knife?"
Legion's whispers drift again to me, sounding more somber "Her soul would not have her. She wished to be complete, but her soul refused to return. A rebirth was required..." I feel my essence manifest as a dry tumbleweed rustle in reply, in the time between heartbeats thump "not all vessels can be refilled once shattered, not all life can refill its own shell once it leaves tha nest"
I’m in a daze from tha contact with Legion as i pull my KA-BAR and hand it over, looking nervous at Her Ladyships face. It was covered in bloody tears as she snarls at us fer trying to stop her.. "I will find her and I will show them.. that she is not.. she is not.." Jon took the KA-BAR and rolled up his sleeve. He pressed the blade to his wrist and winces as the combat knife slices his veins, the scent of his blood filling the air "Omega...come back here ...look ...fresh blood.." Her Ladyship's head turned.. I saw it, too late. Damn Legion "wait .NO!" is all I could manage as I tried ta tackle Jon and cover him with meself before She reached him. Too slow. Her Ladyship steps in, snarling at me as she shoulders me aside. I see Jon fall ta tha ground as I hit him but I feel Her fling me well aside. I hit tha sand and plough a deep wall of sand as I come to rest, scramblin up shaking my head, moving without knowin, instinct taking hold as Her Ladyship steps forward, grabbing onto Jon's wrist.. He holds the blood covered arm up "Come on...come get it..." Bloody drongo don’t know what he’s doin, he’s signin his death warrant. She almost killed Poncho when she was like this last. Tenguska Day. In tha Library, the day I first saw what Legion was . . . I almost reach them , yellin “fuckin CRAZY FLESHIE . . ..”
Legion is only dark, and broken bits of once was the glory of dawn "Nareth, who is no more, will be...something else...and you may call her Labyrinth...We are not the way back to the mortal plane, but she is attracted most to Us...most to Our daughter...why will she not pass on? She is deceased so many times over, before We ever met her. What know you, shaman of Gaea, over imparting peace to the weary soul of one who sews weary agony, and disarray?"
Jon slowly pulled her back further onto tha beach, keeping her from tha water, distracting her and looked to ma and mouthed the words "Restrain her while she's distracted" All I can say is “ FUCK!” as I reach them. Her Ladyships 's eyes are still filled with bloody tears as she begins to laugh.. “little meat puppet.. little human.. blink in the eye thing...you would keep me, from my childe? you?” Her eyes glow, feral.. I have a plan, shaking Legions voices out of my head. I pulled my sword from my belt, scabbard and all and slipped it between them swiftly, flat blade on her belly, subtly as I could with Her distracted, griped the handle in one paw, the tip in the other. Jon snarled as the blood drips from his arm, his eyes beginnin to glow as well. Perfect, great. "She is not there...I'm keeping you from nothing..." I see Her 's grip on Jon's wrist becomin vice-like. Shelaughs bitterly.. a sound devoid of sanity..”I will end you, meat puppet.. and I will find my childe” Jon smirks as he feels the grip tighten and launches his foot toward her legs . Good move that one. HE might make it after all. She lurches, unbalanced, Her grip on Jon's arm strong..
My essance rustles as tumbleweed over scree replying to Legion as I gripped, focussed on saving Her Ladyship from Herself "the Vessel is only that, the Spirit within will do as it will, go to the Next, Pass on, Return or Lessen, my Path only allows me to guide, not to change, that choice" another heartbeats thump, another moment of being out of myself at a time I can not afford.
Her Ladyship snarls, shoving violently, unheeding of the blade at her stomach Jon pulled his arm in with a sharp jerk and stares in her eyes, he growls "She's dead Omega...she's gone...you won't find her.."She pushed closer, against my pullin leanin on the blade, pushin towards Jon..i kept pullin, using the flat sheathed steel as a pry bar, prayin the laminated metal will flex and give enough to pull Her off him. Somethin happens, Her body changes, tensions shift. She said real low and very quiet..”What did you say?” I paused in my pull as she releases his wrist over Her shoulder I saw Jon’s eyes take on a full glow as he snarled with an ethereal edge "You won't find her out there...she's gone...ashes to ashes...dust to dust.." Bad call, Fleshie . . . I felt her start trembling again, and took my grip, pullin again “What did you say?” Jon just repeated in a low tone "Ashes to ashes.." Nodding slowly as she asked “dead? Nareth? my Nareth? my lamb?” I just leant in close over her, sword still slipped in place as a prybar, sheathed and bending Jon looked up at me, I don’t know what was in his eyes, but he looked back to Her. He nodded slowly once more.
She shook her head.. “dead.” Her arms darted out again, reachin for Jon's arm as Denny decended from tha sky nearby. Jon’s wound slowly closed with dried blood around it. He tilted his head to the side ta look to Her. I just leaned his head in close over the top of Her Ladyship’s shoulder and starts to pull again on my makeshift prybar. Not enough. She tuged him forward.. “ My Nareth. Dead.” I’m pantin at the strain, She lurched forward and all of a sudden realised what's holdin her back.. Me. She shoved hard, backwards, into me, windin me, but I still got my grip, still got Her from behind, away from tooth and claw, I’d take Her by tha neck and shake Her if I was gonna kill Her, prime position fer ambush kill. Never in a million lifetimes could I do that. I hesitated. She didn’t She turned, shoving me with one hand, Her other still gripped on Jon's wrist. Blood was a bigger attraction than smackin me down. She looks back to Jon, staring at his wrist..
Legion nods, swaying in a night breeze, swarming momentarily, and forming a flash of a vision of the figure of Raven, dispersing as quickly with a guttural caw, whispering "Grr, you are aligned with psychopomp such the soul shall end out one place. You know, and accept psychopomps other, that ferry souls to other sunless lands--other sunless lands more fitting the soul ferried?" The unseen impression of Raven shakes it's head, sighing with the sound of many winds, all to the south...all to winter...all to end times, and sleep, sad at the loss of creation. The next words whispered are twinged with agony, sounding on the verge of tears for the epic hero died early "We shall love you to ferry her elsewhere. We shall adore your being for bringing her from darkness to happy hunting grounds, or dreaming time" The voices are more and more, multitude upon multitude, and expanding, in pain without panacea, in pain...and into night "We shall beg you to bring her from the cold and lonely night...."
I staggered, Legion had cut me deep, deep ta my soul. Legion brought forth Raven, the Watchman of the Passed. Raven had asked of me a boon. Me. ME who had sent so many over the waters without a second thought. That was the longest heartbeat I can remember. I staggered. Sheathed sword slipped from my numb paws as She twisted below me, off balance for a moment on the shifting sand Jon stared up once more and growled "She's gone...now let go or do something...either way snap the hell out of it.." Bloody fool of a Fleshie, I’m out of it, I cant help him, couldn’t be feel that ? Her Ladyship growls at him “do something? well, that's permission if ever I heard it”. I manage ta recover enough sense ta put a paw on Her shoulder to pull her as he readjusts his balance. My second big mistake. I’m fast, I got fast reflexes, I see things as they are, as they will be, and all I could see was Her slender wrist loomin closer and closer, and tha back of her fist comin around ta tha side of my muzzle. I could hear her snarl. I heard tha thud, tha crunch, tha shatterin of bones in my head, and jaw, neck. I didn’t feel anything. That was nice, just got ta go fer tha ride.
I was conscious as I watched the sand slide under me like clouds as I flew across tha beach. I could hear tha waves breakin like a roar of a waterfall. Real peaceful, it was. I wondered what Raven thought I could do fer Nareth, fer Labyrinth. I wondered if Her Ladyship was gonna be mad at me fer haulin her around like a sack of potatoes. I hit tha sand, digging my own little crater, shiftin ta my birth form. I heard Her Ladyship say, real far away “Do something, do something he says. Does this qualify?” I wondered where My-She was and what we were goin ta have fer dinner, after we had our fun.
My essence’s connection with Legion got cut off with a flash of Omega's knuckles and red, then blackness, and the sound of waves. I wonder if it felt it too.
I woke in tha Library. Her Ladyship holding me in her lap. I was still in breed form. It had been hours. She carried me back and held me till I woke up. She wasn’t mad at me. So sad. She hugged tha Central Pillar where Nareth once stood. Channelin rage, pain, fear, anger.
Tenguska.
I’m goin ta bring her back.
Tenguska
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torn out journal article pasted into the notebook, pencil notes on the top, dated 30/6/08
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Library gave me this, fell off tha shelf as i sat by tha fire wonderin what ta do about my bent-assed sword. More on that later. This is scary symetry.
I was there, or, rightly, i was here when this happened. Last year. History books tell us it happened in 1908, but i saw it happen from behind tha pillar, tha LAST time Her Ladyship lost control. Now Nareth's gone. I miss tha scary Huntress . . .
http://www-th.bo.infn.it/tunguska/aah2886.pdf
torn out journal article pasted into the notebook, pencil notes on the top, dated 30/6/08
===================================
Library gave me this, fell off tha shelf as i sat by tha fire wonderin what ta do about my bent-assed sword. More on that later. This is scary symetry.
I was there, or, rightly, i was here when this happened. Last year. History books tell us it happened in 1908, but i saw it happen from behind tha pillar, tha LAST time Her Ladyship lost control. Now Nareth's gone. I miss tha scary Huntress . . .
http://www-th.bo.infn.it/tunguska/aah2886.pdf
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Tha Library Ritual
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Pencil entry, smudged with ash dated 23/6/08
=========================================
I'm sittin by tha fire, I see dawns light hit tha hotel and know its time. I look up and around, stand and stretch. Time. Joah pauses in her writing and glances at me chewing thoughtfully at her pencil. Her Ladyship is there, Poncho dutifully at her side. Tha morn is still, quiet. Good sign. "err, i'm gunna get . . .ready . . ." I say as I duck ta tha back and get changed inta my ceremonials. Battle skirt goes, leather pants go, T-shirt and gloves. Sword and earpiece. I take my satchel and pull out tha feather fan that My-She had gathered and made fer me, and head back around the bookshelves ta see who's come.
Joah's still there, waitin, as is Poncho, and Her Ladyship, and some more have arrived, Athanaric, and then, as i turn the corner, Nareth is lead in, by Bella. Nareth is dripping, fresh from tha Sea, hooded, and as Her Ladyship had said, blind. Tha day has not been kind ta Nareth. I'm staggered she came at all. I only knew that she'd been tortured at Legions hands fer hours in Tha Pit, and had her eyes . .. .destroyed by that Many-In-One thing. She bore it as she always did, stridently. She spoke, as she entered, "Where is the fire, Bella ?", sniffing the air as she did, Bella guided her "Ahead, and to your right, We just walked through the door" Nareth may be missin her eyes, but like tha huntress i know her ta be, she don't need eyes ta know about a room. "Omega...Joah...Pontifex." Bella seemed ta take it as a question, but i knew it weren't. " Joah is in front of it, the fire...Yes, Omega and Pontifex are here" its a subtle thing. "Yes... Thank you, Bella." Athanaric offers greetin from tha couch, and Joah Menjou sighs, Nareth's name, as she looks toward Nareth's damp face where she stands before the fire, dripping seawater. "Bella? Please, stay near me. I do not wish...to be alone." Bella looks at Nareth and replies to her "Yes, I will"
I take that moment ta step outta cover and let her know i'm there "Nareth, i'm honoured ya came, i hope tha travel wasn't too taxin" i say ta her and she recognises me, and replied "It was not...taxing, Grr. Bella, please, lead me to some spot near Omega." Bella took Nareth's hand, leads her across the room. She asks if her chair is still there, i tell her it is, as always, as Bella directs her ta it. Beella then gets permission ta sit, but not too far, she sits next ta tha fire, along with Joah, tellin Nareth she wont go far.
I get on with it ""i thank ya all fer comin, fer bein here fer this , its yer home too, and i wanted, befer i started ta know if any objected . . . ." Nareth clears her throat. " What is to happen, precisely? Have any of the other wardens come?" Joah watches me careful like and listens. "I hope ta perform ritual Awakening and ceremonial consecration of tha Library with tha consent of tha Her Ladyship, Omega" Nareth asks "To protect...?" and i reply "yeah, kinda. tha aim is ta contact tha Spirit of tha Library, and ta entreat it ta re-Awaken in tha Prime Material Plane. This is specifically not aiming ta re-establish tha Wards previously put on tha Library, but ta give tha Spirit back its voice."
Nareth nods. "I have no objection, Grr. It has been left unprotected too long." i gotta agree, wholeheartedly "i thank ya, Nareth. it has. During tha time tha Toxian Library has been occupied by tha Omega Institute it has been a hub of powerful supernatural and metaphysical activity. tha individuals what take residence there emanate not only a thirst fer knowledge and debate, but more often than not, radiate Power in one way or other. tha thaumaturgic activities within its wall have ranged from subtle ta earth-shaking. Tenguska . . . " which made Nareth shifts uncomfortably.
Its very structure had been imbued with tha direct essence of three Wardens, giving it in past not only tha ability ta defend itself and its inhabitants directly, but ta develop a distinct personality with tha ability ta voice its thoughts through those Wardens and tha contents of its walls.
Athanaric leaned forwards, listenin closely as I went on “When these Wards were lifted this voice was cut off. tha Library was unable ta act. It was inert. Sleeping. Comatose. Yet it lived still. More than a collection of stone and wood, bricks and mortar, books and couches. Joah reached down to touched the stone floor, nodding in agreement with me. Tha gesture wasn’t too different ta my habit of sayin hello and goodbye ta Tha Library on my comin er goin. I Always, ALWAYS do it, even if I’m running fer my life, or tha life of another, that fleetin touch, shows my respect fer tha Place
“Tha years of accumulated magical energy, tha personality inexplicably imbued in it by its Wardens, and tha vast collection of data available ta it, directly or magically has given rise ta a living spirit. A spirit of learning, quiet contemplation, of intrigue and peaceful observation in a city of danger and violence.” Ta which Nareth whispered, "And of anger." She’s right, of course, she usually is. Insight, even fer who and what she is.
“Its Alive, it feels, i know. Why am i doin this? cause when i was at my lowest, when i had no Home, Tha Library gave me shelter. When i had no Hearth, it gave me fire. When i had no Family, it gave me . . .you. I came here, with no home, with no Family, nothin but my kit and a few friends. I've given of myself ta heal here, to be healed here.”
I See Her Ladyship smile at tha memories and as Nareth reaches blindly for her Sire's hand, She takes it in Hers. I point at tha Portrait above tha fireplace. “I have bled for this place, in this place. My blood is in the very walls. Imbued with tha power of Dimentox, my blood has become a gift i gave to this Place. I took it on myself ta guard it, before i was a part of you. Its in my Nature.” Nareth muttered something rude about Dimentox. Which made me laugh, a deep, free laugh. He scares me, his childer scare me, but in tha end, only fer my life and pelt. They can’t touch who I am.
“I was taken from my people before i was born, i've had to learn what i am from Military trainin manuals and what This Place offered me. Now it is time to give back to it, what was taken from It.” I take out tha bundle of herbs My-She made fer me fer this purpose. Tha right rolled leaves, dried with care, and rolled with love. I marvel fer a moment at how such a simple thing holds such symmetry. Deft hands made this, far more so than my own clawed paws. I reach it inta tha fire and light the bundle, and put it in tha bowl she gave me too.
Bush-sage. I wanted ta bless all tha witnesses, participants and building before I started. Ta do it right.. tha smoke was grey blue, lightly sweet and crisp smelling. It drifted actively ta all present and reacted according to their intent ta tha ritual. Intent is everythin, and My-She knew that more than most, and imbued tha smudge stick with that thought. Tha smoke moved of it's own will on tha aether, not by wind. Good will, or collaborative intent drew it. Neutrality had no effect. Ill will or conflicting intent would repel it.
Nareth sniffed at tha air...
Her Ladyship inhaled, smiling at the scent..
Joah closed her eyes, breathing in the sweet fragrance.
Bellatrix inhales deeply of the familiar scent
Tha others remained neutral at least. As I wafted tha smoke around.
It was Time.
"let tha doors be unbarred.
Let tha windows be cast open.
This is a ritual of Awakenin and Freedom."
I closed my eys and shook my fur out, rolling muscles in my shoulders, arms. Back, hips, tail, thighs, calves and shuddering as I called up tha Kachina spirits, tha Earth. I’m a Shaman at heart. I feel tha pull of earth and stone, flesh and bone, blood and breath. Tha Livin and touchable. Tha workins of Heaven are not my Path. Nor of mind, fire or air. I Work with what I can hold in my Paw, touch and smell. This was a big step fer me. But it had ta be done, and no one else had stepped up tat ha line. Stand up, hook up, shuffle tat ha door as my jump instructor used ta say. Nareth sat up a little straighter. Her Ladyship stood, walkin to the windows, turning the latches, openin all the windows, allowing a slight breeze to waft in..
Time ta leap inta tha open sky. “thank you, Yer Ladyship. If they be present, will tha sundered Wardens step forth?” Nareth stands very slowly, hesitantly, callin ta Bella who whispers she’s right there still.
"You who gave of yourselves,
ta protect this place,
For that which it stands
And all who did so here."
I wafted smoke to Nareth, gently letting it swirl around her. She whispers to Bella, "Yes. I smell you....even over the smoke."
"tha Service you did was great.
tha gifts you gave were deep.
That which you wrought endures
But now tha Spirit slumbers"
"Three as One:
Birth. Life. Death:
Sun. Earth. Moon:
Above. Middle. Below."
Nareth whispered, "Three were one." Her words, I remember, I listen, I know. Ya have ta listen Tha oracles, or ya miss tha Truths they utter.
Have you further words, gifts or Spirit ta offer ta this Place? You who's Duties have been held?
Nareth shifts nervously. “You mean me?” She aint used ta bein asked, I know, but I’ve never made her nervous before, it aint my intent. SO I address her as best I may, “yes, Omega's Childe, your Voice which has been long missed” She nodded slowly and spoke. “I once spoke for this place, as this place. But things are not...now, as once they were. I did not willingly reliquish my role as ward. I would see...the library..safe again. and awake. Please...continue.”
I felt tha Spirits move in me, as I swayed ta her haltin voice tha bells on my arms and paws jingle as she spoke her words. “i bow to ya and yer Service, Nareth, Omega's Childe, Huntress” I say it cause she cant see it, she just stared blindly into space. I hope she heard at least, tha respect I have fer her and her struggles. So I raised my muzzle and spoke ta tha walls, tha shelves, tha stair, tha Central Pillar and tha Fire
"Three once Warded;
lent you eyes, voice, mind;
One, now Awaken;
Open your eyes, voice, mind!"
"Bring forth wisdom,
ta temper knowledge.
Bring forth knowledge,
ta temper rage."
"You are known,
though you have slumbered
Your peace sought,
Though you have been stilled."
I almost didn’t see Her Ladyships hands clench, at what, I don’t know. Joah lays her hand flat on tha stone floor again, the Fire seemd ta rise up more brightly behind her. I took my three offerins from my leather pouch; a stone tablet, a leather bound book, and a bare DVD. Tha memory-stone from a Kiva in Hopi-lands, where my dam was captured for tha Zoo, I figure that’s where my People were from. I rescued that from tha : Met, in tha city so nice they named it twice. Made me homesick fer Tox, it did. The book was tha “Maleus Lycanthropaea” a book on Lycans, and how best a spot em, and save their sould fer tha One God of tha Jerusalem Death Cult, which I err, got on loan from tha British Museum in London, not as tall as tha first, but even dirtier. Tha last, I had ta break inta tha records bunker at “Pucka” fer. I stole my own files, tha 7RAR-L Personnel Data Disk on me, from deep under Puckapunyal Barracks. They’ll have other copies, but now I got what they got. Now Tha Library has it.
“These tokens i give back ta tha Library, a stone, i quested fer, of my People, a book, of lore of my kind and files, that i took back from my past” I passed em around fer tha Witnesses ta look at, befor goin on “do any here wish ta make their own offerin to Tha Library?”
Joah rose and stood in the center of the library with me. She stretched out her arms to her sides, palms up, and tilted back her head. She kinda looked like she was goin to go into a trance, not really aware of her surroundins. I took a pace back, encompassing Joah in smoke, but givin her room. Nareth Spoke again “My offering was made long ago, Grr. I have nothing left to give.” But I couldn’t leave her at that “and Remembered, Huntress Nareth” then Her Ladyship spoke to Nareth smiling at her words.. “not true, my sweet, not true. You yet have much to give. But not now.” Nareth didn’t reply to her Sire.
My Cousin Uke peaked around the stairwell, lokin like she was wondering if she's appeared at a bad time, though watching intently. I smiled and nodded ta her, waving her to join in a seat, as Joah’s eyes widen, they appear different than they've ever been before. Flames seem to burn within them."I am a walker on fire," she murmurs. "Pohetv: The Spirit of the Library says, Always remember Me." the image of a translucent fiery bird seemed to envelope Joah, translucent, flames lickin her over. "Yvhiketv." She begins singing an achingly sad melody in a high, keening voice. As she sings, tears begin to fall down her cheeks.
Nareth flinched slightly, hearing the song.
Joah brought her right hand to her face to wipe them, and as she did, each tear turned to crystal and droped into her palm. She stoped singing. "Hecetv." She opened her palm to reveal four cystal tears, then started walkin a circuit of the library--east, north, west, south and back to the center. Joah spoke then, firmly, but in a sweet voice, "I call upon you, Spirit of Fire, to witness this rite and to waken the the Library." Humming ta herself, she takes each tear and tosses it one at a time: east, north, west and south. Each tear sparkles as it flies, then disappeared . A sound like women's voices singing begins to hum from the walls of the Library.
Nareth shuts her blind eyes., as did Her Ladyship, murmuring intellibly under her breath. Joah quivered, shook her head a few times and took a tumbling step, then fell to a heap on the floor in front of me. I crouched down and rested a paw on Joah for a moment, nodding. Force of habit, biut tha Sprits told me she was just released, and gone slack fer a moment. She slowly stirs, confused. I get back ta it.
“doth any other wish ta Speak, Offer or bear Witness?" looked up at Her Ladyship, who was still murmurin, rolled my head side to side, scannin her carefully, unfocussin to look Within. Just in case . . . as Joah gets to her knees, bites her lip and makes her way back to the fire. I pat Joah with the feathers I am waftin tha smoke with as Nareth lowers her head...
I see Uke pause carefully, wondering what one would offer to such a place. Her eyes dance for a moment on the fire over her shoulder, then to the Lady.
Her Ladyship addresses Me, tha Spirits, and tha Library “I bear witness, Coyote..” She raised a wrist to her fangs. “I bear witness with Blood.” I all but hear Nareth flarein her nostrils as Her Ladyship bites savagely into her wrist, stepping towards me. I bow my muzzle at Her gifting, offers the smouldering bowl, smoke swirling, penetrating, cloaking and shielding. She held her hand out, allowing drops of blood to fall, hissing on the charcoal. Nareth raises her head again at the hissing sound. She know tha burn of fire, these two. Tha sound and smell of burnin. It is a fittin offerin, tha Spirits will be pleased. They taste smoke, and now, they taste of Her, our Leader, Joah begins to shake at the sound and the smell. Her Ladyship raised her wrist towards my muzzle, as Nareth growls very, very softly. I drops my muzzle close, close enough to kiss, then, turning it to dab one cheek, then the other in Her blood, I paint myself. She tilts her wrist, letting the blood run onto her hand.raises a finger and traces an Omega onto my chest, in Her blood. Nareth sniffed the air again, that blood flows in her veins too, the source of her hunger and being. I can offer only my thanks, with a bow.
Now comes the final sharp plunge. Tha moment of truth, like tha last fall of a jump. Will the chute open? Or I have the privilege of being tha first on tha ground and dig my own hole? I nodded, and readied myself fer tha end, again, shaking out my fur, ruff to tail tip, paw claws tapping the ground in a light but soothing rhythm. Might as well look good. As Her Ladyship turns to Pontifex, holding her wrist out again.. He smiles, gazing up to her as he kissed her wrist. That is tha depth of their bond. I am glad fer it. I breathed deeply, steeling myself, nervously lookied around at the walls, the shelves, the Central Pillar and took tha moment.
"We who would learn;
ta seek, ta strive, ta overcome;
Gather here in this place;
ta adapt, ta innovate and not ta yield;"
Nareth agreed “Never to yield...”
"This day marks tha turn of tha year;
tha City falls towards long night;
By tha light of tha Longest day;
Awaken! Spirit of this Place!"
Her Ladyship walked tha quarters, as I chanted, allowing her blood to drip on the boundaries of the Circle..
" Awaken, One: born of Three;
Awaken, Spirit of Learning;
Awaken, Spirit of Knowledge;
Awaken, Open your eyes, voice, mind!"
Her Ladyship turned ta me, her circle complete.. I am grateful fer it. I felt alone there, without My-She ta help ground me. But she had good reason, and I’d not change that fer tha World. When One with Sight feels they can’t be there, ya bloody listen. My voice trailed off as I stood swaying gently as tha Spirits began ta leave me and whispered in a voice half growl, half word "awaken". I barely noticed Nareth’s slight shudder, as Joah lifted her arms in front of her, arms outstretched, palms up and began ta sing again. I just stood still, swayin, listenin, ears peaked and eyes lidded, nostrils flarin fer Sign. None came. None that I could tell. But ya cant feel tha storm from tha eye, they say. Tha hair on the back of Uke’s neck rose, her eyes now glued on the fire over her shoulder, I could see her shudder. Nareth lowered her hood, coverin her face and sightless eyes. Her Ladyship opened her palms, tiltin her head up..
It was over. I had done it, but what had I achived? “i thank ya, one and all, fer bein here, bearin Witness ta this Callin, offerin of yerselves and makin this, what it is.” Nareth nodded. Athanaric nodded, Nareth reached her left hand out for Bella to take as Joah lowers her palms to her lap, humming softly to herself and nodding ta me. Bella reached up and took Nareth's hand in hers, stood.
I feel empty, but I KNOW it was tha right thing ta do. “this . . .mattered, we . . . matter, tha Library . . .matters” is all I can muster ta say as Nareth says softly, "We shall see...". She’s right “always do, Huntress Nareth, always do, nothin is ever certain but now we've made our gesture, tha forms have been followed. if IT decides ta grace us, then we will know, again, i thank ya” She turns ta Her Ladyship “If I may leave now, Sire, I must return to the sea.” Her Ladyship nods.. “yes, Nareth.. go..” and Bella leads her away. Joah stands slowly in front of the fire, touches my blood-painted muzzle gently then leaves without a word. I gave tha bowl and feathers ta tha fire, for the Spirits, ending the ritual formally, closing my eyes and nods to Joah as she leaves.
Her Ladyship nodded to me and sat down, nursin her wrist. “it is Done, Yer Ladyship, ta tha best of my ability. tha Forms have been followed. we asked, without takin, offered without demandin. tha way it should be. i'll sleep sounder now, though” She thanks me. What more can I ask, what more could I do. I follow my Nature.
Pencil entry, smudged with ash dated 23/6/08
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I'm sittin by tha fire, I see dawns light hit tha hotel and know its time. I look up and around, stand and stretch. Time. Joah pauses in her writing and glances at me chewing thoughtfully at her pencil. Her Ladyship is there, Poncho dutifully at her side. Tha morn is still, quiet. Good sign. "err, i'm gunna get . . .ready . . ." I say as I duck ta tha back and get changed inta my ceremonials. Battle skirt goes, leather pants go, T-shirt and gloves. Sword and earpiece. I take my satchel and pull out tha feather fan that My-She had gathered and made fer me, and head back around the bookshelves ta see who's come.
Joah's still there, waitin, as is Poncho, and Her Ladyship, and some more have arrived, Athanaric, and then, as i turn the corner, Nareth is lead in, by Bella. Nareth is dripping, fresh from tha Sea, hooded, and as Her Ladyship had said, blind. Tha day has not been kind ta Nareth. I'm staggered she came at all. I only knew that she'd been tortured at Legions hands fer hours in Tha Pit, and had her eyes . .. .destroyed by that Many-In-One thing. She bore it as she always did, stridently. She spoke, as she entered, "Where is the fire, Bella ?", sniffing the air as she did, Bella guided her "Ahead, and to your right, We just walked through the door" Nareth may be missin her eyes, but like tha huntress i know her ta be, she don't need eyes ta know about a room. "Omega...Joah...Pontifex." Bella seemed ta take it as a question, but i knew it weren't. " Joah is in front of it, the fire...Yes, Omega and Pontifex are here" its a subtle thing. "Yes... Thank you, Bella." Athanaric offers greetin from tha couch, and Joah Menjou sighs, Nareth's name, as she looks toward Nareth's damp face where she stands before the fire, dripping seawater. "Bella? Please, stay near me. I do not wish...to be alone." Bella looks at Nareth and replies to her "Yes, I will"
I take that moment ta step outta cover and let her know i'm there "Nareth, i'm honoured ya came, i hope tha travel wasn't too taxin" i say ta her and she recognises me, and replied "It was not...taxing, Grr. Bella, please, lead me to some spot near Omega." Bella took Nareth's hand, leads her across the room. She asks if her chair is still there, i tell her it is, as always, as Bella directs her ta it. Beella then gets permission ta sit, but not too far, she sits next ta tha fire, along with Joah, tellin Nareth she wont go far.
I get on with it ""i thank ya all fer comin, fer bein here fer this , its yer home too, and i wanted, befer i started ta know if any objected . . . ." Nareth clears her throat. " What is to happen, precisely? Have any of the other wardens come?" Joah watches me careful like and listens. "I hope ta perform ritual Awakening and ceremonial consecration of tha Library with tha consent of tha Her Ladyship, Omega" Nareth asks "To protect...?" and i reply "yeah, kinda. tha aim is ta contact tha Spirit of tha Library, and ta entreat it ta re-Awaken in tha Prime Material Plane. This is specifically not aiming ta re-establish tha Wards previously put on tha Library, but ta give tha Spirit back its voice."
Nareth nods. "I have no objection, Grr. It has been left unprotected too long." i gotta agree, wholeheartedly "i thank ya, Nareth. it has. During tha time tha Toxian Library has been occupied by tha Omega Institute it has been a hub of powerful supernatural and metaphysical activity. tha individuals what take residence there emanate not only a thirst fer knowledge and debate, but more often than not, radiate Power in one way or other. tha thaumaturgic activities within its wall have ranged from subtle ta earth-shaking. Tenguska . . . " which made Nareth shifts uncomfortably.
Its very structure had been imbued with tha direct essence of three Wardens, giving it in past not only tha ability ta defend itself and its inhabitants directly, but ta develop a distinct personality with tha ability ta voice its thoughts through those Wardens and tha contents of its walls.
Athanaric leaned forwards, listenin closely as I went on “When these Wards were lifted this voice was cut off. tha Library was unable ta act. It was inert. Sleeping. Comatose. Yet it lived still. More than a collection of stone and wood, bricks and mortar, books and couches. Joah reached down to touched the stone floor, nodding in agreement with me. Tha gesture wasn’t too different ta my habit of sayin hello and goodbye ta Tha Library on my comin er goin. I Always, ALWAYS do it, even if I’m running fer my life, or tha life of another, that fleetin touch, shows my respect fer tha Place
“Tha years of accumulated magical energy, tha personality inexplicably imbued in it by its Wardens, and tha vast collection of data available ta it, directly or magically has given rise ta a living spirit. A spirit of learning, quiet contemplation, of intrigue and peaceful observation in a city of danger and violence.” Ta which Nareth whispered, "And of anger." She’s right, of course, she usually is. Insight, even fer who and what she is.
“Its Alive, it feels, i know. Why am i doin this? cause when i was at my lowest, when i had no Home, Tha Library gave me shelter. When i had no Hearth, it gave me fire. When i had no Family, it gave me . . .you. I came here, with no home, with no Family, nothin but my kit and a few friends. I've given of myself ta heal here, to be healed here.”
I See Her Ladyship smile at tha memories and as Nareth reaches blindly for her Sire's hand, She takes it in Hers. I point at tha Portrait above tha fireplace. “I have bled for this place, in this place. My blood is in the very walls. Imbued with tha power of Dimentox, my blood has become a gift i gave to this Place. I took it on myself ta guard it, before i was a part of you. Its in my Nature.” Nareth muttered something rude about Dimentox. Which made me laugh, a deep, free laugh. He scares me, his childer scare me, but in tha end, only fer my life and pelt. They can’t touch who I am.
“I was taken from my people before i was born, i've had to learn what i am from Military trainin manuals and what This Place offered me. Now it is time to give back to it, what was taken from It.” I take out tha bundle of herbs My-She made fer me fer this purpose. Tha right rolled leaves, dried with care, and rolled with love. I marvel fer a moment at how such a simple thing holds such symmetry. Deft hands made this, far more so than my own clawed paws. I reach it inta tha fire and light the bundle, and put it in tha bowl she gave me too.
Bush-sage. I wanted ta bless all tha witnesses, participants and building before I started. Ta do it right.. tha smoke was grey blue, lightly sweet and crisp smelling. It drifted actively ta all present and reacted according to their intent ta tha ritual. Intent is everythin, and My-She knew that more than most, and imbued tha smudge stick with that thought. Tha smoke moved of it's own will on tha aether, not by wind. Good will, or collaborative intent drew it. Neutrality had no effect. Ill will or conflicting intent would repel it.
Nareth sniffed at tha air...
Her Ladyship inhaled, smiling at the scent..
Joah closed her eyes, breathing in the sweet fragrance.
Bellatrix inhales deeply of the familiar scent
Tha others remained neutral at least. As I wafted tha smoke around.
It was Time.
"let tha doors be unbarred.
Let tha windows be cast open.
This is a ritual of Awakenin and Freedom."
I closed my eys and shook my fur out, rolling muscles in my shoulders, arms. Back, hips, tail, thighs, calves and shuddering as I called up tha Kachina spirits, tha Earth. I’m a Shaman at heart. I feel tha pull of earth and stone, flesh and bone, blood and breath. Tha Livin and touchable. Tha workins of Heaven are not my Path. Nor of mind, fire or air. I Work with what I can hold in my Paw, touch and smell. This was a big step fer me. But it had ta be done, and no one else had stepped up tat ha line. Stand up, hook up, shuffle tat ha door as my jump instructor used ta say. Nareth sat up a little straighter. Her Ladyship stood, walkin to the windows, turning the latches, openin all the windows, allowing a slight breeze to waft in..
Time ta leap inta tha open sky. “thank you, Yer Ladyship. If they be present, will tha sundered Wardens step forth?” Nareth stands very slowly, hesitantly, callin ta Bella who whispers she’s right there still.
"You who gave of yourselves,
ta protect this place,
For that which it stands
And all who did so here."
I wafted smoke to Nareth, gently letting it swirl around her. She whispers to Bella, "Yes. I smell you....even over the smoke."
"tha Service you did was great.
tha gifts you gave were deep.
That which you wrought endures
But now tha Spirit slumbers"
"Three as One:
Birth. Life. Death:
Sun. Earth. Moon:
Above. Middle. Below."
Nareth whispered, "Three were one." Her words, I remember, I listen, I know. Ya have ta listen Tha oracles, or ya miss tha Truths they utter.
Have you further words, gifts or Spirit ta offer ta this Place? You who's Duties have been held?
Nareth shifts nervously. “You mean me?” She aint used ta bein asked, I know, but I’ve never made her nervous before, it aint my intent. SO I address her as best I may, “yes, Omega's Childe, your Voice which has been long missed” She nodded slowly and spoke. “I once spoke for this place, as this place. But things are not...now, as once they were. I did not willingly reliquish my role as ward. I would see...the library..safe again. and awake. Please...continue.”
I felt tha Spirits move in me, as I swayed ta her haltin voice tha bells on my arms and paws jingle as she spoke her words. “i bow to ya and yer Service, Nareth, Omega's Childe, Huntress” I say it cause she cant see it, she just stared blindly into space. I hope she heard at least, tha respect I have fer her and her struggles. So I raised my muzzle and spoke ta tha walls, tha shelves, tha stair, tha Central Pillar and tha Fire
"Three once Warded;
lent you eyes, voice, mind;
One, now Awaken;
Open your eyes, voice, mind!"
"Bring forth wisdom,
ta temper knowledge.
Bring forth knowledge,
ta temper rage."
"You are known,
though you have slumbered
Your peace sought,
Though you have been stilled."
I almost didn’t see Her Ladyships hands clench, at what, I don’t know. Joah lays her hand flat on tha stone floor again, the Fire seemd ta rise up more brightly behind her. I took my three offerins from my leather pouch; a stone tablet, a leather bound book, and a bare DVD. Tha memory-stone from a Kiva in Hopi-lands, where my dam was captured for tha Zoo, I figure that’s where my People were from. I rescued that from tha : Met, in tha city so nice they named it twice. Made me homesick fer Tox, it did. The book was tha “Maleus Lycanthropaea” a book on Lycans, and how best a spot em, and save their sould fer tha One God of tha Jerusalem Death Cult, which I err, got on loan from tha British Museum in London, not as tall as tha first, but even dirtier. Tha last, I had ta break inta tha records bunker at “Pucka” fer. I stole my own files, tha 7RAR-L Personnel Data Disk on me, from deep under Puckapunyal Barracks. They’ll have other copies, but now I got what they got. Now Tha Library has it.
“These tokens i give back ta tha Library, a stone, i quested fer, of my People, a book, of lore of my kind and files, that i took back from my past” I passed em around fer tha Witnesses ta look at, befor goin on “do any here wish ta make their own offerin to Tha Library?”
Joah rose and stood in the center of the library with me. She stretched out her arms to her sides, palms up, and tilted back her head. She kinda looked like she was goin to go into a trance, not really aware of her surroundins. I took a pace back, encompassing Joah in smoke, but givin her room. Nareth Spoke again “My offering was made long ago, Grr. I have nothing left to give.” But I couldn’t leave her at that “and Remembered, Huntress Nareth” then Her Ladyship spoke to Nareth smiling at her words.. “not true, my sweet, not true. You yet have much to give. But not now.” Nareth didn’t reply to her Sire.
My Cousin Uke peaked around the stairwell, lokin like she was wondering if she's appeared at a bad time, though watching intently. I smiled and nodded ta her, waving her to join in a seat, as Joah’s eyes widen, they appear different than they've ever been before. Flames seem to burn within them."I am a walker on fire," she murmurs. "Pohetv: The Spirit of the Library says, Always remember Me." the image of a translucent fiery bird seemed to envelope Joah, translucent, flames lickin her over. "Yvhiketv." She begins singing an achingly sad melody in a high, keening voice. As she sings, tears begin to fall down her cheeks.
Nareth flinched slightly, hearing the song.
Joah brought her right hand to her face to wipe them, and as she did, each tear turned to crystal and droped into her palm. She stoped singing. "Hecetv." She opened her palm to reveal four cystal tears, then started walkin a circuit of the library--east, north, west, south and back to the center. Joah spoke then, firmly, but in a sweet voice, "I call upon you, Spirit of Fire, to witness this rite and to waken the the Library." Humming ta herself, she takes each tear and tosses it one at a time: east, north, west and south. Each tear sparkles as it flies, then disappeared . A sound like women's voices singing begins to hum from the walls of the Library.
Nareth shuts her blind eyes., as did Her Ladyship, murmuring intellibly under her breath. Joah quivered, shook her head a few times and took a tumbling step, then fell to a heap on the floor in front of me. I crouched down and rested a paw on Joah for a moment, nodding. Force of habit, biut tha Sprits told me she was just released, and gone slack fer a moment. She slowly stirs, confused. I get back ta it.
“doth any other wish ta Speak, Offer or bear Witness?" looked up at Her Ladyship, who was still murmurin, rolled my head side to side, scannin her carefully, unfocussin to look Within. Just in case . . . as Joah gets to her knees, bites her lip and makes her way back to the fire. I pat Joah with the feathers I am waftin tha smoke with as Nareth lowers her head...
I see Uke pause carefully, wondering what one would offer to such a place. Her eyes dance for a moment on the fire over her shoulder, then to the Lady.
Her Ladyship addresses Me, tha Spirits, and tha Library “I bear witness, Coyote..” She raised a wrist to her fangs. “I bear witness with Blood.” I all but hear Nareth flarein her nostrils as Her Ladyship bites savagely into her wrist, stepping towards me. I bow my muzzle at Her gifting, offers the smouldering bowl, smoke swirling, penetrating, cloaking and shielding. She held her hand out, allowing drops of blood to fall, hissing on the charcoal. Nareth raises her head again at the hissing sound. She know tha burn of fire, these two. Tha sound and smell of burnin. It is a fittin offerin, tha Spirits will be pleased. They taste smoke, and now, they taste of Her, our Leader, Joah begins to shake at the sound and the smell. Her Ladyship raised her wrist towards my muzzle, as Nareth growls very, very softly. I drops my muzzle close, close enough to kiss, then, turning it to dab one cheek, then the other in Her blood, I paint myself. She tilts her wrist, letting the blood run onto her hand.raises a finger and traces an Omega onto my chest, in Her blood. Nareth sniffed the air again, that blood flows in her veins too, the source of her hunger and being. I can offer only my thanks, with a bow.
Now comes the final sharp plunge. Tha moment of truth, like tha last fall of a jump. Will the chute open? Or I have the privilege of being tha first on tha ground and dig my own hole? I nodded, and readied myself fer tha end, again, shaking out my fur, ruff to tail tip, paw claws tapping the ground in a light but soothing rhythm. Might as well look good. As Her Ladyship turns to Pontifex, holding her wrist out again.. He smiles, gazing up to her as he kissed her wrist. That is tha depth of their bond. I am glad fer it. I breathed deeply, steeling myself, nervously lookied around at the walls, the shelves, the Central Pillar and took tha moment.
"We who would learn;
ta seek, ta strive, ta overcome;
Gather here in this place;
ta adapt, ta innovate and not ta yield;"
Nareth agreed “Never to yield...”
"This day marks tha turn of tha year;
tha City falls towards long night;
By tha light of tha Longest day;
Awaken! Spirit of this Place!"
Her Ladyship walked tha quarters, as I chanted, allowing her blood to drip on the boundaries of the Circle..
" Awaken, One: born of Three;
Awaken, Spirit of Learning;
Awaken, Spirit of Knowledge;
Awaken, Open your eyes, voice, mind!"
Her Ladyship turned ta me, her circle complete.. I am grateful fer it. I felt alone there, without My-She ta help ground me. But she had good reason, and I’d not change that fer tha World. When One with Sight feels they can’t be there, ya bloody listen. My voice trailed off as I stood swaying gently as tha Spirits began ta leave me and whispered in a voice half growl, half word "awaken". I barely noticed Nareth’s slight shudder, as Joah lifted her arms in front of her, arms outstretched, palms up and began ta sing again. I just stood still, swayin, listenin, ears peaked and eyes lidded, nostrils flarin fer Sign. None came. None that I could tell. But ya cant feel tha storm from tha eye, they say. Tha hair on the back of Uke’s neck rose, her eyes now glued on the fire over her shoulder, I could see her shudder. Nareth lowered her hood, coverin her face and sightless eyes. Her Ladyship opened her palms, tiltin her head up..
It was over. I had done it, but what had I achived? “i thank ya, one and all, fer bein here, bearin Witness ta this Callin, offerin of yerselves and makin this, what it is.” Nareth nodded. Athanaric nodded, Nareth reached her left hand out for Bella to take as Joah lowers her palms to her lap, humming softly to herself and nodding ta me. Bella reached up and took Nareth's hand in hers, stood.
I feel empty, but I KNOW it was tha right thing ta do. “this . . .mattered, we . . . matter, tha Library . . .matters” is all I can muster ta say as Nareth says softly, "We shall see...". She’s right “always do, Huntress Nareth, always do, nothin is ever certain but now we've made our gesture, tha forms have been followed. if IT decides ta grace us, then we will know, again, i thank ya” She turns ta Her Ladyship “If I may leave now, Sire, I must return to the sea.” Her Ladyship nods.. “yes, Nareth.. go..” and Bella leads her away. Joah stands slowly in front of the fire, touches my blood-painted muzzle gently then leaves without a word. I gave tha bowl and feathers ta tha fire, for the Spirits, ending the ritual formally, closing my eyes and nods to Joah as she leaves.
Her Ladyship nodded to me and sat down, nursin her wrist. “it is Done, Yer Ladyship, ta tha best of my ability. tha Forms have been followed. we asked, without takin, offered without demandin. tha way it should be. i'll sleep sounder now, though” She thanks me. What more can I ask, what more could I do. I follow my Nature.
Checklist: Solstice
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Pencil entry dated 21/6/08 items are crossed out
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*get wordin right: no openin rifts ta Hades or Canberra
*bush-sage ta My-She
*big feathers: not seagull
*memory-stone from Kiva in Hopi-lands: Metropolitan Museum, NY
*Maleus Lycanthropaea: British Museum, London
*7RAR-L PersonnelData: Lycan 0571. Platoon Sgt GrrBrool, Puckapunyal Barracks
*make sure Her Ladyship is still ok with it
*get notice out
Pencil entry dated 21/6/08 items are crossed out
===============================
*get wordin right: no openin rifts ta Hades or Canberra
*bush-sage ta My-She
*big feathers: not seagull
*memory-stone from Kiva in Hopi-lands: Metropolitan Museum, NY
*Maleus Lycanthropaea: British Museum, London
*7RAR-L PersonnelData: Lycan 0571. Platoon Sgt GrrBrool, Puckapunyal Barracks
*make sure Her Ladyship is still ok with it
*get notice out
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