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a CD lyric sheet, rescued from the dumpster, cleaned and pasted into the journal
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Will I fall again into dismay?
Will I be ashamed of crying?
And I know it's never been the way that I described
But I am afraid of trying
She's the one who keeps me all excited
She keeps me begging for more
She's the one who deems me uninvited
Now it's over
Never leave me, and don't deceive me
I'll keep on crawling my friend
Never tease me and don't leave me here
It's all the same in the end
Now I find that I am weaker fair
That I am ashamed of lying
And I know things never feel the way that's right inside
And I am afraid of dying
'Cause you're the one who keeps me all excited
You keep me begging for more
You're the one who keeps me uninvited
Now it's over
Never leave me, and don't deceive me
I'll keep on crawling my friend....
It's only a symbol
You've got me falling away
And I am afraid
Take back what I said
Never leave me, and don't deceive me
I'll keep on crawling my friend
Never tease me and don't leave me here
It's all the same in the end [x2]
It's all the same in the end
It's all the same in the end
It's all the same in the end
It's only a symbol
-Seether: Never Leave
Showing posts with label Spirit Gal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spirit Gal. Show all posts
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
War and tha Blood-Song
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Pencil entry, dated 30/1/2009, it is messy, as if written balanced on a thigh
==================================
Not a real war, more like a border skirmish, folks still die though, no matter what they call it. Tha Pack called an end of peace on tha K.A. Tha K.A. seemed ta launch a preemtive strike on tha Pack. As we had been expectin, it was revolvin around tha two sets of "cures" we been hearin about. Tha very idea that someone was makin "cures" ta both tha fanger HVV or tha lycan genes creeps tha fuck outta me.
I get that some folks don’t wanna take tha Embrace, or tha Gift. I get that folks on either side wanna have tha ability ta take out tha other, its a weapon whether ya think it if or not. Unmaking someones race by injectin them is a bio-weapon, especially in an evironment where lead flys as much as it does in Tox. I sure as fuck don’t want anyone un-makin ME. Cause bein a lycan lets me talk and walk in two legs. That's assumin that’s how it works. I guess it would be even worse if it took away tha canine in me. Bad enough three of four days a moon.
So it was war. Not the pissy street scuffles where one heavy faces off against another where all can see, but proper war. Ambushes, sniper coverage, wave assaults and bombardments. Tha Pack put a satchel charge up at the K.A. HQ and set it off, takin out a whole wall, their theumaturgical library, and generally upsettin tha aesthetic. At least this time none of them wanted ta come after me fer my pelt. Seemed it was fairly clear that it was a Faction War, rather than a race one, Tha Continuum signed up with tha Pack and I think tha Ryders might have signed on with tha K.A. but that’s just a rumour. Tha Righteous and Shadows stayed out of it, this time.
Whether it was just tha smell of blood and cordite, or maybe tha spray of “cured” blood in tha air, but I felt my hackles raising all week, building up. I could hear the blood song, tha Hunt, and tha drums of War beatin in my head and chest. Always building, building. My temper got shorter and tha length of reactions got longer. Tha others in tha Institute couldn’t see it, couldn’t feel it, it was just something affectin tha Shifters. Pensive felt it, but didn’t know what it was, but I did, and I knew what was comin. It was always building, building. Tha thing that cut me deepest, was Spirit Gal. She has been starving, starving herself and lookin to tha needs of others, Nareth Realmwalker mostly.
Starvin herself like tha Maker does. And here was me, brimming with power, brimming with life and tha blood-song singin in my head. I was so full, I thought I’d burst. I needed to let it out, or I’d explode. So I channelled it at her, givin up my all, or at least opening tha door so she would take, and use, and grow, and feed. She is Family, She is Sister-Lover. I will not see my Family starve when game is abundant, and tha plentiful game fer her, right now, is me. Except it ain’t. She spurned it, and me, I think I scared her, so I ran, I ran and raged and ran some more.
I came back to tha Library, and tried ta keep control, I stayed away from folks, and tried not to break anything. Quillis found me, and Spirit Gal did too, and they backed me into a corner, up against tha window, I could see tha marks I put in tha wall of tha Library, tha marks I inscribed with my own blood, imbued with Dimentox’s power, to offer my respects to tha Library, and return its protection with my own. They came, and they started fightin over who got to deal with me. Quillis grabbed me just as I was boltin fer tha Great Forest. So she came too. She’d never been. Figures, it’s a scared place, and she’s, well, old but hardly what I’d call devout, or even a believer.
Tha very purity of tha place repelled her, and she started pukin up black muck, and leakin. Purgin. We couldn’t stay long, too much, too soon. But I took tha time to show it to her, from tha Clearin, and went, and found my sword, which was still there, in the leaf litter, where I dropped it, slowly getting buried and removed from tha place, it was marin its purity, bein a thing made by hands and not by wind and water, rock and fire. I took it, and Quillis, and returned. Spirit Gal looked at me with burnin hatred, so I cleared out. As Featherpants says “let them hate, as long as they fear”. I will not abandon my Family, I will not see them starve.
Not that I needed to worry. Nareth came, and Spirit Gal went to her. Went to her and later, after, when they both smelt of each other, of sex and blood, Spirit Gal had fed, as had Nareth. My Family would not starve. I was not needed for that. Not what she wanted, tha Crystal Coyote, too delicate ta touch, too fragile ta use or drink from, better to leave on display, and look at from afar. Tha useless vessel, too brittle, too wild, too jagged ta drink from. But I could still guard, and Watch. So guard and Watch I will do. I tracked Spirit Gal to tha place of dead and stone, and Watch. This I can do, at least.
Pencil entry, dated 30/1/2009, it is messy, as if written balanced on a thigh
==================================
Not a real war, more like a border skirmish, folks still die though, no matter what they call it. Tha Pack called an end of peace on tha K.A. Tha K.A. seemed ta launch a preemtive strike on tha Pack. As we had been expectin, it was revolvin around tha two sets of "cures" we been hearin about. Tha very idea that someone was makin "cures" ta both tha fanger HVV or tha lycan genes creeps tha fuck outta me.
I get that some folks don’t wanna take tha Embrace, or tha Gift. I get that folks on either side wanna have tha ability ta take out tha other, its a weapon whether ya think it if or not. Unmaking someones race by injectin them is a bio-weapon, especially in an evironment where lead flys as much as it does in Tox. I sure as fuck don’t want anyone un-makin ME. Cause bein a lycan lets me talk and walk in two legs. That's assumin that’s how it works. I guess it would be even worse if it took away tha canine in me. Bad enough three of four days a moon.
So it was war. Not the pissy street scuffles where one heavy faces off against another where all can see, but proper war. Ambushes, sniper coverage, wave assaults and bombardments. Tha Pack put a satchel charge up at the K.A. HQ and set it off, takin out a whole wall, their theumaturgical library, and generally upsettin tha aesthetic. At least this time none of them wanted ta come after me fer my pelt. Seemed it was fairly clear that it was a Faction War, rather than a race one, Tha Continuum signed up with tha Pack and I think tha Ryders might have signed on with tha K.A. but that’s just a rumour. Tha Righteous and Shadows stayed out of it, this time.
Whether it was just tha smell of blood and cordite, or maybe tha spray of “cured” blood in tha air, but I felt my hackles raising all week, building up. I could hear the blood song, tha Hunt, and tha drums of War beatin in my head and chest. Always building, building. My temper got shorter and tha length of reactions got longer. Tha others in tha Institute couldn’t see it, couldn’t feel it, it was just something affectin tha Shifters. Pensive felt it, but didn’t know what it was, but I did, and I knew what was comin. It was always building, building. Tha thing that cut me deepest, was Spirit Gal. She has been starving, starving herself and lookin to tha needs of others, Nareth Realmwalker mostly.
Starvin herself like tha Maker does. And here was me, brimming with power, brimming with life and tha blood-song singin in my head. I was so full, I thought I’d burst. I needed to let it out, or I’d explode. So I channelled it at her, givin up my all, or at least opening tha door so she would take, and use, and grow, and feed. She is Family, She is Sister-Lover. I will not see my Family starve when game is abundant, and tha plentiful game fer her, right now, is me. Except it ain’t. She spurned it, and me, I think I scared her, so I ran, I ran and raged and ran some more.
I came back to tha Library, and tried ta keep control, I stayed away from folks, and tried not to break anything. Quillis found me, and Spirit Gal did too, and they backed me into a corner, up against tha window, I could see tha marks I put in tha wall of tha Library, tha marks I inscribed with my own blood, imbued with Dimentox’s power, to offer my respects to tha Library, and return its protection with my own. They came, and they started fightin over who got to deal with me. Quillis grabbed me just as I was boltin fer tha Great Forest. So she came too. She’d never been. Figures, it’s a scared place, and she’s, well, old but hardly what I’d call devout, or even a believer.
Tha very purity of tha place repelled her, and she started pukin up black muck, and leakin. Purgin. We couldn’t stay long, too much, too soon. But I took tha time to show it to her, from tha Clearin, and went, and found my sword, which was still there, in the leaf litter, where I dropped it, slowly getting buried and removed from tha place, it was marin its purity, bein a thing made by hands and not by wind and water, rock and fire. I took it, and Quillis, and returned. Spirit Gal looked at me with burnin hatred, so I cleared out. As Featherpants says “let them hate, as long as they fear”. I will not abandon my Family, I will not see them starve.
Not that I needed to worry. Nareth came, and Spirit Gal went to her. Went to her and later, after, when they both smelt of each other, of sex and blood, Spirit Gal had fed, as had Nareth. My Family would not starve. I was not needed for that. Not what she wanted, tha Crystal Coyote, too delicate ta touch, too fragile ta use or drink from, better to leave on display, and look at from afar. Tha useless vessel, too brittle, too wild, too jagged ta drink from. But I could still guard, and Watch. So guard and Watch I will do. I tracked Spirit Gal to tha place of dead and stone, and Watch. This I can do, at least.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Tha Hunt, Tha Sacred Rite
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Pencil note, dated 13/1/2009
=================================
Full moon last night.
I Hunted along with tha Pack.
I shared my kills with tha other Packless.
I returned, and found one of my mates.
The Moon will be pleased, and so would Coyote.
i think Spirit Gal was too, eventually, heh.
Pencil note, dated 13/1/2009
=================================
Full moon last night.
I Hunted along with tha Pack.
I shared my kills with tha other Packless.
I returned, and found one of my mates.
The Moon will be pleased, and so would Coyote.
i think Spirit Gal was too, eventually, heh.
After the Hunt - OOC - not in the journal
==================================
the following piece is a of a sensitive and sensual nature. If you may be offended, please stop now.
it is not a story as recorded in Grr's journal, but was written as a glimpse into his life, as seen by the Library Spirit and its inhabitants.
==================================
the Hunt had finished, and Grr returned, unclothed, golden fur splattered with flecks of blood and melted sleet. He padded past Denenthorn standing watch in the doorway, and towards Tonks, who offered him praise and thanks for looking to the needs of his less fortunate or skilled kin, dropping parts of his kill at the snow at their paws, teaching them, showing them the way of the Hunt. He nodded to Denenthorn and they shared a wry joke, and exchanged eye rolling at Lei's whining and moaning about how the Pack was pathetic, but at the same time, would not lift a paw to better them.
Grr had other things on his mind, though. in the warmth of the Library, his unclothed body began to steam, frost thawing and melting away, and he padded over to the fireplace to drive off the rest of the chill and damp. He looked for his clothes, discarded when the Hunt arrived, and he heard its call at the windows and door. Kicking them behind a chair, he wiped the remainder of the rat-blood off his paws and looked upstairs. Upstairs to the room beside Her Ladyships office. Upstairs where Spirit Gal was sleeping.
A yearning need was tugging at him, calling, and he slowly made his way up, bare paws making barely a sound other than the click of claws on stone and polished wood. Denenthorn walked to the hidden doorway and lay against it, guarding the returned Childer, but Grr, his thoughts were of the living, tonight. Passing the foyer, reaching the spiral staircase, he wound his way up, all four paws clicking and padding. Reaching the top, he padded close to the door, and checked it. Locked, but not to him.
Slipping inside, Grr padded to where the sleeping woman lay, her breathing was even, and the scent of sleep was in the air. Clothes lay draped over a simple chair and a pair of golden earrings lay on a dresser against a wall. Reaching the foot of the bed, he gently lifted the heavy quilted cover, and poked his head very slowly under. A movement, and a foot slid one way, Grr froze, then after a moment, continued to slide under the covers, an inch at a time, claws reaching under as he pushed his lean furred body into the bed. Breathing in the scent, he crawled further forwards.
the following piece is a of a sensitive and sensual nature. If you may be offended, please stop now.
it is not a story as recorded in Grr's journal, but was written as a glimpse into his life, as seen by the Library Spirit and its inhabitants.
==================================
the Hunt had finished, and Grr returned, unclothed, golden fur splattered with flecks of blood and melted sleet. He padded past Denenthorn standing watch in the doorway, and towards Tonks, who offered him praise and thanks for looking to the needs of his less fortunate or skilled kin, dropping parts of his kill at the snow at their paws, teaching them, showing them the way of the Hunt. He nodded to Denenthorn and they shared a wry joke, and exchanged eye rolling at Lei's whining and moaning about how the Pack was pathetic, but at the same time, would not lift a paw to better them.
Grr had other things on his mind, though. in the warmth of the Library, his unclothed body began to steam, frost thawing and melting away, and he padded over to the fireplace to drive off the rest of the chill and damp. He looked for his clothes, discarded when the Hunt arrived, and he heard its call at the windows and door. Kicking them behind a chair, he wiped the remainder of the rat-blood off his paws and looked upstairs. Upstairs to the room beside Her Ladyships office. Upstairs where Spirit Gal was sleeping.
A yearning need was tugging at him, calling, and he slowly made his way up, bare paws making barely a sound other than the click of claws on stone and polished wood. Denenthorn walked to the hidden doorway and lay against it, guarding the returned Childer, but Grr, his thoughts were of the living, tonight. Passing the foyer, reaching the spiral staircase, he wound his way up, all four paws clicking and padding. Reaching the top, he padded close to the door, and checked it. Locked, but not to him.
Slipping inside, Grr padded to where the sleeping woman lay, her breathing was even, and the scent of sleep was in the air. Clothes lay draped over a simple chair and a pair of golden earrings lay on a dresser against a wall. Reaching the foot of the bed, he gently lifted the heavy quilted cover, and poked his head very slowly under. A movement, and a foot slid one way, Grr froze, then after a moment, continued to slide under the covers, an inch at a time, claws reaching under as he pushed his lean furred body into the bed. Breathing in the scent, he crawled further forwards.
For a moment there was stillness, then flesh touched fur and a another frozen moment passed. Stillness. Anticipation. The leg move again, access is gained, and taken. With the alacrity of a commando raid, Grr, clawed his way further up the bed, towards the source of the heat, the scent, agaisnt the sleepy legs of the stirring woman. She was waking at the sudden motion and sensation, but groggily, the press of soft warm fur of Grr's muzzle and neck ruff strangely familiar in her dreaming.
Suddenly, she realises something is happening and sits up, in a panic, and tries to pull away, but Grr is on her now, paws reaching up and pinning her thighs. She cries out, in the daze of sleep and panic, and a pulse of prana lashes out, in defence. Stunned for a moment Grr slumps in the bed, his paws gone slack on the womans thighs and she tries to pull away, but he recovers quicker then she expected, such was his need. With a grunt, he levers himself forwards, gripping her thighs again, and presses his muzzle forwards, and manages one long lick before stilling again.
A quick gasp as tongue hits its mark, and a pause, "Beloved? Grr?". The quilt is lifted and a light is switched on, the light plays over Grr's fur, dappling the caramel coloured fur, still flecked with blood. Blinking, dazed he tries a grin, but with his ears pressed back by the covers, and most of his muzzle wrapped by thighs, it is only his eyes that express his delight. Then his tongue speaks for him, in action rather than sound. Regaining his bearings, he pulls back at her hips, pulling her towards him, and himself to her. She smacks her palm on the top of his head several times, trying to object to the intrusion, the shock, but his insistance is . . . insistent.
"you startled me, Beloved, are you alright?" she asked. The only reply Grr made was a low rumble, an an intensifying of his licking and lapping, all along thigh and behind her knees, edging further and further upwards again, after the initial lick. With a pull of both his warm leathery paws, Grr presses to her mound, need taking precedence to subtlety, and laps vigorously, letting the curl of his tongue caress and part her, nose pressed, snuffling firmly and growls softly.Before he got very far, Grr felt a firm palm press on his head, on the ridges of his pointy skull and the woman spoke. "Beloved, wait, what if . . .." Grr continued licking, tasting, but lifted his head, forming a crest in the covers through which he peaked. Looking over her belly and breast, covered though they were in a nightie, his eyes glinted in the shadow, even as his matted muzzle rested between her thighs. He had stopped, for a moment, then with a throaty and cheerful snort, and a shake of his head, he continued, nuzzling into her groin, pressing his nose into her mound as he parted her with his agile tongue.
She made a noise, pleased but at the same time, anxious. There was a brief moment, a decision was made, Grr could feel it. She sighed and pulled the covers over his head. Grr took this as a sign and continued, under cover. As he chased his hunger, she lay back in her bed, and with a chuckle resigned herself to having been caught. Grr's tail poked above the back of the bed, wagging he had hunted, but now he had far deeper hungers to satisfy. The quilt undulated as Grr went about finishing what he started, and soon the woman was making noises as animal as his.
She made a noise, pleased but at the same time, anxious. There was a brief moment, a decision was made, Grr could feel it. She sighed and pulled the covers over his head. Grr took this as a sign and continued, under cover. As he chased his hunger, she lay back in her bed, and with a chuckle resigned herself to having been caught. Grr's tail poked above the back of the bed, wagging he had hunted, but now he had far deeper hungers to satisfy. The quilt undulated as Grr went about finishing what he started, and soon the woman was making noises as animal as his.
As she lay back, trembling, gasping to catch her breath, hands grinning the sheets in now slack fists, she felt him, fur against her thighs, shoulders against her knees, and the huffing breath, waiting. There was a stillness in the night, no gunfire, or screams, only the faint faraway crackle of the fire in the hearth. The building was still, watchful, but calm. This was the feeling they shared, flesh on fur, entwined, longways, as it were, for a moment. This dreamy warmth ended abruptly with another cheerful snort that she felt for than heart, sending tremors of delight once more. It signalled a rush of motion.
With a paw on either thigh still, Grr gripped, pulled and twisted, lifting the slight woman and rolling her. In a daze still, she was momentarily confused and wondered what was happening, but she felt Grr clamber onto the bed. With a gentle but insistant shove, she was dropped first onto all fours, then knocked onto her elbows. The room barely had time to stop spinning when she felt Grr behind her, a press of fur to the backs of her thighs, along the curve of her back, and along the backs of her arms, as his own planted and wedged her in place. It began.
It began with a soft searching, a fast paced and shuddering entry, followed by a pause, and Grr hugged the woman close, still not having said a word, waiting for both acceptance and confirmation. He gained it as she throatily gasped "oh, Beloved, yes" No further signal needed, he moved within her, and they shook. She felt the burning need, tempered by a compassionate heart, struggling. Always holding back, always tender and gentle, she felt the struggle, and acted.
Growling slightly herself, she turned her head, and bit his forearm as it gripped the bed, wrapped around her own. This tipped the scale, and Grr let instinct loose. Wild and free. Hungry and inhumanly strong. The coupling became rough, and fast. Driving forward over and over, Grr had pushed the woman further down, so that her shoulders were on the bed, his paws against the sides of her chest at her armpits, so that his fur was brushing that delicate flesh. Need and hunger. Primal and passionate.
Something new. something she had never felt, and had only pondered. A pressure, a parting, a fullness, followed by a rush of heat, a shuddering throb, and a mixture of Grr's whining, whimpering and deep throated growling and utterances, words and non-words. Sounds that might have had meaning, or simply been the language of the gods. Then stillness, they lay together, joined, tied both physically and spiritually. the fierce heat of Grr's metabolism, combined with not only the rush of the Hunt, but of the fires of their passion, combined with the fire that lived within the woman drove away any chill in the air.
Pulses continued for a long, long time, and when the feeling of fullness did not abate, the woman turned her head, and kissed Grr, who was still crouched, supporting himself on digigrade knees and along his forearms. She could see that his eyes were half lidded, his tongue lolling out as he panted, staring into the Other, and with every third or fourth breath, they shared another pulse, and his nostrils flared. "Beloved? . . . Grr?" No answer, but the slightest contented smile and a rolling "hmmmmm" she felt throughout her body, covered in her own, personal furred blanket.
Slowly Grr stirred, and after many long minutes, Grr was able to withdraw, and did so gingerly, having regained enough rational thought to consider his partner. The moment he had, again, in a rush of sensation , he clambered off and behind his mate, and soothed her in the way most natural to him, with licks. This was almost too much for her to bear, and only after a moment, she pulled away, rolled to her side and grabbed at his fur, pulling him up to lay with her.
As they filled her little bed, limbs entwined, and touching each other, fingertips running through fur and tracing scars and tattoos, and claws tracing skin and curved, Grr uttered his first distinct words, and his last for the night. "Spirit Gal". They lay, sleeping or gazing, until duty and the ruckus of the city stirred them on another cold, Toxian winters day.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Tails of recovery
==================================
Pencil entry, dated 5/1/2009, starting off messy, and clears a little, as though writing is remembered
==================================
So much has happened, two times tha moon has hid her face before I write this. Tha last thing I wrote, it was about dealin with tha Horsemen, in Spirit Gal and in Blue Shadow. Then it all went FUBAR. We’re talking serious Charlie Foxtrot. So bad I lost my marbles, I cracked, shell-shock. Its all a bit of a blur, I remember parts, maybe all of it, but it’s all a mess, I can’t say when what happened, and even workin out who said what is hard. Tha faces all blurred, and tha settin seemed ta change. Sometimes its Toxia. Sometimes its Timor, sometimes somewhere else. It took me back ta my old life. Like that’s what kicked in ta keep me alive, tha trainin. Guess those bastards in tha top brass of tha 7RAR-L knew their stuff. I shot tha Messenger. She took two ta tha chest, off-centre, but still. She had run me through, tryin ta snap me outta it, did a fair job, but I managed ta get off a burst. I shot one of my own and she was worried I’d be angry at HER. Kin, pack, Blood. I belong with these people.
But I been tryin ta put it all back tagether, so I went fer a walk, and visited tha Shelter, ta see how Strong Gal was farin, still on garrison duty, her mate, Snappypants not trustin her delicate self out on tha mean streets. Fer good reason too, but, been causin a lot of strife in tha Institute fer it. I know what its like ta be tha beast in tha cage, but at tha same time, sometimes tha bars keep tha bad out, as well as tha beast in. I rocked up and I heard them talking, as mates do. What they were talking about bothered me but didn’t surprise me much. All’s not been well in our Family, and we need ta regroup and tend our casualties.
Snappypants was sayin "normally Denny would be laying on the sidewalk bleeding his excuses just there but since he has served as your adopted dad I did not wish to present you with said spectacle. I will not stand insults like that though baby, I only hold myself back for your sake. Mine... and what he said was just rambling" ta which Strong Gal lisped bewilderedly, "But...his words.... were...untrue..... the words he said, He knows differently....." I padded in, scentin tha air, tha reek of tha plague rats was still gone, I been back since, I even did some food-prep with Strong Gal, taught her how ta make my spice cookies, but still, tha memories were strong, and scent is tha strongest. But they cleaned it good, and it’d been, well, over a moon at least. I smelt no one else, so I poked my head around tha corner Snappypants shook his head slightly "no baby, he does not know better, most of the people that are not us really don't know. they have not been in a similar situation themselves, either because it would be impossible for them or simply because it didn't happen. do not worry yourself with what they come up with and what ideas they have and don't ever think anyone but the two of us can have any educated opinion about our marriage and its state or blessing" he caressed her hair and tailed his fingertips down her neck and buried his head in tha crook of her shoulder.
I announced myself, never enter tha territory of another unannounced unless yer their fer hostile intent, casue they might get tha wrong idea. Good logic. Course, if ya ARE there fer hostile intent, get in quiet and do yer job and get out befer they know they’re dead. Better logic. "err, am I bein an intruder?" I asked, still in tha hallway, lookin around tha corner. Tha walls are thin, but still offer some cover, at least, line of sight cover. Strong Gal looked up and shook her head a negative. She cuddled with Snappypants and waved ta me. "You can come in...we are talking about Denny...who was not kind."
Snappypants looked over ta me too and grined slightly noddin a greetin. Old, he is, old like Her Ladyship, but not as quite. Here’s some more advice. Anythin that lives that long is GOOD at livin that long, that means they’re dangerous. Because there’s plenty out there that looks ta make ya dead, and they evaded, defeated or over come everythin that’s come their way, fer a LONG time. "no intrusion there Grr, has been a while since I last set my eyes on one of the specimens of your kind I do not mind having in my immediate surroundings" he grinned wider and gestures me over. I’m glad him and Her Ladyship make exception fer me. My kin and theirs, we aint exactly bestest of friends. Natural enemies some would say. Predators chasin tha same prey, just not fillin tha same niche. We distress them, cause we’re monsters that tha Fleshies can see, and it makes them wonder about tha ones they –can’t- see, like tha Fangers.
I padded over and hopped onta tha short heavy table in tha lounge, and copped a squat. "I been . . . .broken, in tha head, but, I’m better now, not best, but, better, and . . . I wanted to come and see ya both" even now, its hard ta make sense of it, and harder ta make words ta tell of it. Strong Gal said ta me, "Merry Christmas....and....yah...Merry Christmas." She thought a moment, then answerd her mate "I thought Denny would know better than his words." She asked me if I was well, but I was starin at tha kitchen, and tha floor as tha smell seemed ta come back. "I remember comin, err, before, tha . . .before tha , when there were rats" Strong Gal nodded to me and said "And we made cookies one day not so long ago....they were good cuz you don't cook them." Snappypants caressed his mate’s hair and kept tha ever-present grin on his face listenin to Strong Gal's description "not best you say but better. better is a whole step from worse Grr, glad to hear you are recovering and I hope it is speedy to that best part, mind you"
I looked ta Strong Gal, she’s delicate, fer all her strength, she don’t see things tha way they are either, but not tha way I did. She sees things better. Brighter. She sees new friends, where I saw a target rich environment. She sees a spot fer a picnic, where I saw kill-zones. "cookies, yeah, we baked . . . did you like them? its hard ta get all tha right stuff fer em, but, they're good solid food, tops fer tha body." I asked her, then pondered a bit, and offered my own worries about Featherpants. "Denethorn . . .he's been . . .real cranky, so, I guess we both been burnt by tha fire of his mind recently then .. ." Strong Gal smiled real bright hearin cookies are good tucker, but frowns again about Featherpants "He called Ethan vile things... and.... then he said our marriage was cursed and mentioned divorce!" Her mouth curls into a pout and she blinks wide-eyed before cuddlin Snappypants.
That’s fuckin bat-shit crazy, that is, I know Featherpants and Sanppypants don’t see eye ta eye on a lot of things, especially where mate and adopted pup are concerned, but, that’s daft and I couldn’t get it right in my head "but . . .yer .. .yer mated . . I, why? that don’t make no sense .. ." Snappypants smirked slightly but recovered his grin turnin to Strong Gal "he was either drunk regardless of what he said, or just hurt about some other matter. maybe his girl ran away or he didn't get a girl he wanted... or he was just miserable and could not see straight. really princess, do not trouble yourself with him at this time, besides I told him to stay away from you until he manages not to upset you with his presence"
Bombshell! That’s just fucked up. I know he’s been goin through some fuckin aweful times, he went ta fuckin HELL, and brought Blue-Wife back, at tha cost of parts of his soul, but, I seen him since, I remember it, with one of my kin, courtin, it looked like. He seemed on top of things, at least, getting on with it. But, Snappypants went on "how IS that recovery going though Grr and are there any issues you could need assistance with regarding the recovery?" I try ta answer, but I’m still flash-banged from hearin about what Captain Featherpants said. I look ta Snappypants and then ta Strong Gal, on his lap, in his arms "Mr Brit, you always put tha Corp . . .no, Strong Gal, you always put Strong Gal's good first, right, as she's yer mate?" She looked up at him and back ta me, then kissed him on tha head and said "My beloved always takes care of me, It's why I stay close to him."
Back ta me, and how im recoverin, "ahh, its all . . .my head, I was seein things wrong, like my past was overlayed on my now, and, Her Ladyship, she reminded me, she sang down tha moon for me" Snappypants nodded in response ta my initial question about Strong Gal's good, then tilted his head like he was tryin ta follow my story. I talk funny, at tha best of times, I been told. Go figure, my brain aint wired fer Fleshie thinking, I can do it, butm, it aint tha way I was born, I had ta learn. He asked me "she sang down the moon for you... would you like to elaborate on that one Grr?" turning ta Strong Gal he said soft like ta her "that sounds like more or less of a romantic story" Strong Gal looked up and her eyes went wide. "How can someone sing down the moon?" She touched her mate's hair more as she heard him speak, "Oh yes, please...I wish to hear the story."
So I started my telling. "well, when I was broken, I could talk, and think, but if I touched what was broken, I couldn’t talk, if I thought about it? I couldn't say, I was trapped in my head. but I could sing. my breed, we're called tha singin dog, we sing to tha mood on tha nights when she's lonely. I think in tha way back, we upset her, so now we sing to make her happy. so even with my brain broken, I could still sing my heart. Strong Gal listened, but looked up and asked "You mean the moon...is a she?" I looked over and could see she was strugglin to understand. I just rolled my head side to side cause it was a strange question but I remember, "yep, she’s a she, tha Lady Phoebe, or Mother Luna, she's a she . . ." Snappypants runs his hands down Strong Gal’s back "I think it is a mannerism but the moon is often referred to as a she. now if it is a female indeed or the big orb floating in space is called a she for example's sake is rather irrelevant. what is important is, is Luna has an effect on Grr and his ancestors it seems what the sung communication goes" then thinking on my words and turned ta her "there you have your answer" She looked out tha window ta see tha thin crescent of tha Moon that hung there, givin me back tha gift of Change, which, right now, let me wear my furm, and be warm.
So I went on "I sang and I sang, and no one understood me, except tha Spook, Dryl, she sang a little back to me, but, she had ta go away, and I couldn't give her enough song, folks asked me what was wrong, they told me I was crazy, tha nasty angel lady said they should put me down, they laughed, or cried, but couldn't listen to my songs. they HEARD my songs, but they couldn’t listen to them" Strong Gal blink blinked a few times, like she was rememberin and puffed her cheeks. "I thought you were just singing...." Someone wandered in and got a bowl of chilli and sat eatin. I went on with my story. "I know, its awright, Strong Gal, I don’t mind none, but, there were times I just wanted ta die, I was . . .trapped, and broken, and no good ta no one"
Snappypants looked over his shoulder and nods in his usual greeting at tha eatin one, then turns back to me "sometimes we have to break hard, so we can rise and know we are whole again but it is rather healthy not to have the need of that often..." he hushed to hear the story continue, so I did "I stood my Watch, like I was ordered, I guarded War, like it pleased Her, I stood and I starved, and I sang. Then War went away, Death went away, Pestilence went away, and there was just me, broken, locked in my head, singin fer help. then . . . then . . .. Her ladyship came back ta me, I didn’t rightly know when, or how, but, She was back, and She loved me. So tired, She was, so, I fed her, and she held me, and loved me, not cause I fed her, but because I would, because I will Always, Always, be there fer Her, as long as Coyote gives me breath and blood ta live, and, maybe longer, because tha Wide River hold no mystery from me"
Strong Gal ran her fingers through Snappypant's hair rememberin something . She buried her face against his hair, a few blinks and she pulled back ta look at her mate. Snappypants blinkd once at the 'fed her' part and looks my neck and wrist, then looks back down trying not to stare for too long. Don’t know what he was expectin ta see, he leaves his bites on Strong Gal, plain enough, but, I got fur, and I heal, real fast. "but I was still broke, even fer all tha love and care, fer all their guilty thoughts, and such, my head was broke. they fought, tha folk in tha Library, about how ta make me better. They wanted ta magic me, I had folks rummage in my thoughts, pokin and proddin, and all I could do was sing" Snappypants nodded letting his head hang a bit "sometimes people come with the best of intentions and all but examine you to death searching for an approach that really touches your being" he smirks and clenches his fist momentarily like he knew what he is talking about, from personal experience.
"but, eventually, Her Ladyship listened to my songs, she heard, and she listened and I sang ta her, a song of us, and she knew." Strong Gal asked me what I meant about them tryin ta magic me. As Bohny tha Feline came in talking ta tha new folks "they were wanting ta use magic, and MAKE me better, ta fix my head like they thought it should be, I only got a small brain, Strong Gal, and a thick skull, and it was pretty messed up in there, I don’t think even if they tried, none of em seemed ta get that I aint a man, dressed as a dog, im a wolf, given tha shape of a man. As Bohny chatted, then wandered off, I was watchin her, old instincts and memories bubblin up, she wandered off, and I muttered, watchin her tail go "she's got good breedin hips . . . .err . . ."
Snappypants tried to keep focused on my story with all the interruptions but I saw him cover his mouth after my comment about good breedin hips "that reminds me of something" he trails the sentence off "but don't let me interrupt" he looks back at the new lookin couple millin about who just got assigned a room "there might be an issue with the beds squeaking but there is an oil can under the sink" Tha fella chuckled and shrugged. "That's fine. At least it's a bed" I grinned and added "not fer internal use" which sent them both giggling and blushin. Tha female was real pale and not bothered at all by tha cold, dressed in, well, not a lot. Fanger, my guess. Strong Gal asked ""You may wish to find some clothing for your beloved....or she will freeze...or someone will think she is like um... maybe... yah..... she needs clothes before she dies of cold." But it sounds like they both knew who, and what, tha female was.
Back ta my story, like I told them, small brain, easy ta get off track, when their aint a task at hand "err, Sergeant Menjou . .no . .. no, Spirit Gal, my Spirit Gal, she saw somethin I was lost without too, and she, she helped me, so much, she took me, or, showed me tha Path, at least, ta tha Forest. tha First Forest, tha Great Wood and, I , we, we went there, I took her. I ran, I RAN, through ta trees, in tha wild, oh, Strong Gal, tha feelin, tha wildness, tha purity, it was . ... primal. I hunted, I cast off all my army stuff and ran barefurred and hunted." Strong Gal keeps listenin ta me, as she directs her charges about and I can see she’s obviously followin what I mean, which is good, we connect more often than we don’t, I thinkwhich is odd ta think, sometimes, I’m all fire and earth, and she is water and air. I keep goin "I killed, and brought my kill back ta Spirit Gal, and we ate, under tha forest sky, we shared my kill, she's, she . . .we're mated too, I’m very lucky ta have tha both of them, they, I need them, tha fire, tha air, tha night, I need them both like fire needs wood and air, like it needs dark ta shine."
Strong Gal gasped happily, "you married Joah????" I just rolled my head side ta side lookin at Strong Gal, she was real excited by what I said, but I didn’t quite know why. Snappypants blinked like he was wonderin how he would explain. I tried, "I walk tha Path with her, wherever it leads, I took her ta tha Wide River and froze and burned fer her, and she'd do tha same. i shared my kill with her under tha open moon, does that mean we're married?" Snappypants gets a real nervous look in his eyes and looks from Strong Gal ta me and back a few times She looked thoughtful fer a moment then said "Well.....if she is your beloved...and you are hers....and you love each other...and are going to stay together...and are dating and god approves, I think it means married....yah?" She looks to Snappypants fer confirmation. Snappypants intentionally looked away checking tha soup and cookie supply before hearing her reply. Yup, fear, ha. "well, I would say that is rather accurate... if all of the above applies at least" he looks over to me biting his lower lip "congatulations then" he worked hard ta give me a happy face, but something was worryin him, not about me and Spirit Gal, but about how he was gunna explain ta Strong Gal tha details, I think.
"err, ta, mate, its nothin new, ya woulda seen me holdin her down when her and Strong Gal here got lust-dusted a whiles back." Strong Gal asked, "Lust-dusted?" and turned, rubbin noses with Snappypants and still playin with his head fur. "well, yeah, there was somethin tha two of ya got exposed ta, somethin that made ya beg fer kisses, and cuddles, remember?" Snappypants reminded her too "when you trashed Deb's bike and Joah and you were rather intensely asking for cuddles and kisses after getting exposed to that stuff in dust form" Sorted. So, I went on "but, err, anyways, Spirit gal reminded me of tha wild, and that let me heal, she made tha big step, and took herself in with it, and put herself at risk ta help me. . .. she, she cant walk between worlds on her own, and, well, she had only hope that when we got there, I wouldnt eat HER, but, love is thicker than madness, yeah? and she healed my spirit there. and in time, we came back here, where my Family is," Strong Gal turned beaming at Grr. "So she saved you....." Nodding, she beamed again and lisped at me "Beloveds do that for each other."
"that she did, Strong Gal, and so, I came back, still broken, but only in tha head, my spirit was mine again, and Spirit Gal was mine again, and that made tha world a better place. but, I was still broken, and I still was trapped in my head, and that’s when Her Ladyship listened to my songs. she listened as I sang of War, tha horror of it, tha pain that comes when ya cant leave it, and at tha same time, tha love I have fer Her. I sang Our song, and that’s when she KNEW, she thought I was askin ta die and be like Her at Her hand, at first, ta be unmade and then eternal, but, that aint it. I wanted Her ta know I would Always, ALWAYS be Hers. fer as long as I have breath and blood, fer as long as my debt ta Coyote lasts, and beyond. And then . . .then . . She sang to ME. She sang, ta ME."
I could feel myself startin ta cry. Big scary werewolf, big tough dog-soldier. Its ok, aint nothing wrong with havin emotions, I am wild, I am free, and holdin that locked up aint good, "She sang of peace, of tha end of War, sang of a long future, song of joy, and . .. She sang, ta ME". Strong Gal hopped up and dashed fer a paper towel thingy ta let me dry my face on, sweet thing she is, I got FUR, but, never poke a gift Fleshie in tha eye. She told me "She sang because she loves you...." Snappypants was tappin his figers on the chair listenin and focused real close on my tale blinking in surprise at tha tears, I saw his eyes open wide but he locked up shop not makin any move or lettin him express himself freely. Bottled up. Maybe that’s why he’s lived so long, but he said "and through this you started healing on the inside again?" I nodded at him, and went on, with hardly a blubber. "She sang down tha moon. Strong Gal, that’s what my kind do, in tha cold of tha night. when we are alone and empty, we sing, and tha moon listens, and comes ta kiss tha ground, and we sing to each other, and find our mates. She sang ta ME. and yeah, She reminded me, She let moon touch ground, and I . . .I .. . un-snapped, with her love, and Spirit Gal's"
Strong Gal goes soft in tha eyes, softer, even, I guess, and "oh’d" softly. She nods understandin and said, "I'm glad you are getting well again." With a glance to Snappypants, she lisped, "I would perish if my beloved did as well."
He looked reall worried fer a second there again, and I aint quite sure why, or I wasn’t at tha time "that is a touching story Grr and it is good to know there are those that care and will go out of their way to reach for you" I thought I needed ta say more though, cause tha tale wasn’t done. "I . . .I almost killed Spirit Gal, ta free her from tha Thing, I burnt with Sacred Fire, and it worked, fer a little while, I took her ta tha Wide River where the dead go, and nothin can die, and . . .it wasnt enough. then tha Things took Her Ladyship, MY Omega, and I stabbed Her, pinned Her through tha heart to tha wall of tha Library, thats when I snapped. thats when it all went crazy. thats why tha Library kicked me out. But, they came back, and they came back fer me. I wasn't left behind again. I wasn’t left in tha crater. with tha bodies, in tha blood, in tha mud" I started ta loose it again, I remembered tha siege at tha Firebase, tha Indo Felines comin over tha wire, tha barrage, tha whistle and tha fire, tha blast, and tha pain, and what came later, in tha hospital . . . after they eventually found me. I musta been starin off fer a while, I realised I was scratchin at tha scars on my chest, that poked through my open jacket.
Strong Gal asked Snappypants "Is this why you do not wish me to go back into the library?" Snappypants stays silent regarding Brit's question for a while then responds "the events Grr described or part of them were definitely a fragment of the reasons I did not wish you on the road alone during those days" he looked back ta me "as I said, not best is fine as long as you are on your way to best and better is a good waypoint towards that". he nodded over to the newcomers "welcome to the shelter" I snapped back tat ha here and now "but they did, both of them, and all my Family, they all loved me, needed me and were there, and now, now I’m better, not best, but better" I looked over my shoulder and waved "g'day folks, warm and safe in here, food in tha pot, chilli taday, its good" then blinked, shook my head and grined "see, some things come natural, some things, tha things close ta my heart, take some doin . . but yeah, im on tha road ta redemtion . . ." Snappypants repeats rather mumbled "redemption" he mouths the word slowly and goes absent minded for quite some while. I looked Snappypants right in tha eye, noddin "I speak true, Mr Brit, I only had a short span, but I need just as much as those with a longer one, and I think ya understand, too, better than most"
Strong Gal asked me "Grr...is...um....the library safe again?" one of the neew folks perked right up and asked where it was, and I told Strong Gal "far as I know, if Blue Shadow aint bled anywhere, I . .. I need ta talk to tha Spirit, yeah mate, its my home, and Strong Gal here's . .. err. Brit's . . OTHER home" She goes on, telling tha new folks "there is a beautiful library...." She looks to Snappypants and back, "But I cannot go there....these days It has a pretty fireplace...and it is warm.... We used to canoodle in front of the fire place way lots....it's very good place to canoodle." Snappypants took a while to respond and then waited for a moment until there was a silent span again looking back at me "I reckon such a thing has nothing to do with the time we have been given but with our drive for it, that can build up rather magnificently in days and weeks and months and doesn't need aeons. I understand you well. maybe better than most would think, Coyote" he turns to Strong Gal and his previous expression fades into a warmer one. looking over at the couch he grins slightly "good we have not found any rat pieces there in a while"
He called me Coyote, too, fer all his stuffy ways, and bein a Fanger and all, I like Snappypants, he is true ta himself, and sees deep. "a critter's gotta eat, and, tha Felines all seem ta prefer fish in cans . . ." Strong Gal lisped, "It would have been like your dream buffet then...cuz they all exploded from the inside out...everywhere." She looked at tha walls, ceilin, and floor. Snappypants shruged in memory of that "whether it tasted good or not, that sight was rather appalling. even the sight of hundreds of chicken exploding uncooked all over the place is not rather good for appetite" he shook the image off "good thing the chilli smells better, too" he points at the pot on the stove. We talked a bit on tha best ways ta make use of city-meat, burgers and peanut satay, they were my favourite ways. Back ta Strong Gal’s question, I told them both "ha Library is safe. though, too safe fer some, these days, tha Library Spirit was well rankled that tha Horsemen could out-strip Her fer power" Strong Gal nibbled her lower lip and peeks at her mate again. She puffed her cheeks slightly and looks thoughtful, then shaking her head, she said, "I'm glad...it is safe again."
Snappypants gestures goodbye tat ha new folks, I think they will be stopping in at tha Library soon, seemed, clever too, we should look ta recruit em, if they last long. He looked over at Strong Gal like he was half keepin track of what she just thought and not said. I wonder how close their bond is, they seem ta know each others minds pretty close "maybe I will take you again sometime soon"
I grinned and shook my head as they left "kids .. .ha . .. was I ever that young? hell, im still probably younger even . . " Strong Gal nuzzling Snappypants, smiled sayin, "I'd like that....to go again with you...." She smiled real warmly at the thought and cuddled playfully. Then ta me, she said, "I'm glad you are well again...better.....I would have been very sad.....very sad....if you would have lost your way...." Snappypants added "or if you had perished..." he nods several times after the statement. "after all, you are very set to your sense of duty and no-one can really keep his track constantly without exception, you are rather of the reliable sort when you are not in the worst state, just as long as it is good, better or best" he caresses Strong Gal's hair slowly "we should do that soon"
"well, we'd like that, Strong Gal, Mr Brit, we'd like ta see ya both there, and yeah, Kin, Pack, Blood. Duty ta all three" That got her thinking, and she puzzled over my Words. Tha motto I learnt as my first words. "Kin... Pack.... Blood. Kin is family? Pack... is...... um Blood.... like sharing as I do with Ethan?" Snappypants blinks up at her question and looks ta me with a slightly amused grin on his face "interesting question I would say, though I think the initial meaning was meant to be a bit different" So I tried ta explain so she’s understand. "kin, thats my own kind, tha other shifters, Pack, thats family, like you . . . and blood, that’s, those I would fight for, shed blood for, and beside, my brothers and sisters in arms" Strong Gal, sharp mind she’s got in there, asked me a real good question, something that’s hard ta explain ta civilians. "what is the difference between family and blood?" I give it a shot, in terms I think she’ll follow "Family, is all of those I would protect, who protect me, my future, my dear ones, my Beloveds"
Snappypants coughed unnecessarily to conceal the plural form of the "Beloved" word like he was hoping it went unnoticed, then nodded "family is important to any animal, including humans mind you" he didn’t seem to exclude himself from the animal description and nudges Brit with the side of his cheek, that’s good, that’s what I hoped, and expected ta see, that’s why they are good tagether.
"Blood, are those I respect for their strength, and their sacrifice, their fulfillin of duty with their bodies ahh, yeah, not tha same . . .that, that’s what I would call Pack, in yer case, Strong Gal, you and Mr Brit there, a pack of two." Snappypants grinned wide and repeated me mouthin it slowly "Mr Brit" he turns to her and nudges her again "you see, I am your pack" he looks back to me "you see, I do only work in a pack that big, I could not have a larger pack than that" he looks back ta her "nor will I ever need to" She wonders fer a moment "That is not very many... Perhaps Gweneth is part of the pack." She looks to him and shrugged, "When she is near.... she came when it was important for her to be here Maybe two....is enough... Beloveds rather than a pack, maybe." Ahh, see, this is what Snappypants was wonderin over. "I understand that, its in tha nature of most two-legs ta make a small Family, but, well, I was never like that, I was born in a litter of six, my kind, we'd have big Families, lots of uncles and aunts ta look ta us, and care fer us, but, in tha zoo, there was only us . . ." Strong Gal muses some more. "I only had Pars...then....Denny and the people in the library....then...Ethan." Trailin her fingers through his head fur, she lisped, "And....our marriage is not cursed....and....we will not divorce....... and..... Ethan will always be my beloved...and my one and only. Denny is not usually unkind."
Snappypants shifts a bit uncomfortable in the sofa "Gwen is like adopted family but not pack, it is more like a child, that now is old and is not supposed to live at home anymore staying out there to hunt and be on her own" he shrugged and looks to his mate "you like beloveds more? beloveds it will remain" he shakes his head again "stop thinking about what Denny said, he was just rambling, baby" This is my cue ta tell em how I felt about tha two of them. I was reall worried, when I first noticed Strong Gal, well, becoming Strong Gal, but, I think I see what and why, now "I think yer marriage is one of tha best things thats ever happened in this city" and I can leave it at that.
Pencil entry, dated 5/1/2009, starting off messy, and clears a little, as though writing is remembered
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So much has happened, two times tha moon has hid her face before I write this. Tha last thing I wrote, it was about dealin with tha Horsemen, in Spirit Gal and in Blue Shadow. Then it all went FUBAR. We’re talking serious Charlie Foxtrot. So bad I lost my marbles, I cracked, shell-shock. Its all a bit of a blur, I remember parts, maybe all of it, but it’s all a mess, I can’t say when what happened, and even workin out who said what is hard. Tha faces all blurred, and tha settin seemed ta change. Sometimes its Toxia. Sometimes its Timor, sometimes somewhere else. It took me back ta my old life. Like that’s what kicked in ta keep me alive, tha trainin. Guess those bastards in tha top brass of tha 7RAR-L knew their stuff. I shot tha Messenger. She took two ta tha chest, off-centre, but still. She had run me through, tryin ta snap me outta it, did a fair job, but I managed ta get off a burst. I shot one of my own and she was worried I’d be angry at HER. Kin, pack, Blood. I belong with these people.
But I been tryin ta put it all back tagether, so I went fer a walk, and visited tha Shelter, ta see how Strong Gal was farin, still on garrison duty, her mate, Snappypants not trustin her delicate self out on tha mean streets. Fer good reason too, but, been causin a lot of strife in tha Institute fer it. I know what its like ta be tha beast in tha cage, but at tha same time, sometimes tha bars keep tha bad out, as well as tha beast in. I rocked up and I heard them talking, as mates do. What they were talking about bothered me but didn’t surprise me much. All’s not been well in our Family, and we need ta regroup and tend our casualties.
Snappypants was sayin "normally Denny would be laying on the sidewalk bleeding his excuses just there but since he has served as your adopted dad I did not wish to present you with said spectacle. I will not stand insults like that though baby, I only hold myself back for your sake. Mine... and what he said was just rambling" ta which Strong Gal lisped bewilderedly, "But...his words.... were...untrue..... the words he said, He knows differently....." I padded in, scentin tha air, tha reek of tha plague rats was still gone, I been back since, I even did some food-prep with Strong Gal, taught her how ta make my spice cookies, but still, tha memories were strong, and scent is tha strongest. But they cleaned it good, and it’d been, well, over a moon at least. I smelt no one else, so I poked my head around tha corner Snappypants shook his head slightly "no baby, he does not know better, most of the people that are not us really don't know. they have not been in a similar situation themselves, either because it would be impossible for them or simply because it didn't happen. do not worry yourself with what they come up with and what ideas they have and don't ever think anyone but the two of us can have any educated opinion about our marriage and its state or blessing" he caressed her hair and tailed his fingertips down her neck and buried his head in tha crook of her shoulder.
I announced myself, never enter tha territory of another unannounced unless yer their fer hostile intent, casue they might get tha wrong idea. Good logic. Course, if ya ARE there fer hostile intent, get in quiet and do yer job and get out befer they know they’re dead. Better logic. "err, am I bein an intruder?" I asked, still in tha hallway, lookin around tha corner. Tha walls are thin, but still offer some cover, at least, line of sight cover. Strong Gal looked up and shook her head a negative. She cuddled with Snappypants and waved ta me. "You can come in...we are talking about Denny...who was not kind."
Snappypants looked over ta me too and grined slightly noddin a greetin. Old, he is, old like Her Ladyship, but not as quite. Here’s some more advice. Anythin that lives that long is GOOD at livin that long, that means they’re dangerous. Because there’s plenty out there that looks ta make ya dead, and they evaded, defeated or over come everythin that’s come their way, fer a LONG time. "no intrusion there Grr, has been a while since I last set my eyes on one of the specimens of your kind I do not mind having in my immediate surroundings" he grinned wider and gestures me over. I’m glad him and Her Ladyship make exception fer me. My kin and theirs, we aint exactly bestest of friends. Natural enemies some would say. Predators chasin tha same prey, just not fillin tha same niche. We distress them, cause we’re monsters that tha Fleshies can see, and it makes them wonder about tha ones they –can’t- see, like tha Fangers.
I padded over and hopped onta tha short heavy table in tha lounge, and copped a squat. "I been . . . .broken, in tha head, but, I’m better now, not best, but, better, and . . . I wanted to come and see ya both" even now, its hard ta make sense of it, and harder ta make words ta tell of it. Strong Gal said ta me, "Merry Christmas....and....yah...Merry Christmas." She thought a moment, then answerd her mate "I thought Denny would know better than his words." She asked me if I was well, but I was starin at tha kitchen, and tha floor as tha smell seemed ta come back. "I remember comin, err, before, tha . . .before tha , when there were rats" Strong Gal nodded to me and said "And we made cookies one day not so long ago....they were good cuz you don't cook them." Snappypants caressed his mate’s hair and kept tha ever-present grin on his face listenin to Strong Gal's description "not best you say but better. better is a whole step from worse Grr, glad to hear you are recovering and I hope it is speedy to that best part, mind you"
I looked ta Strong Gal, she’s delicate, fer all her strength, she don’t see things tha way they are either, but not tha way I did. She sees things better. Brighter. She sees new friends, where I saw a target rich environment. She sees a spot fer a picnic, where I saw kill-zones. "cookies, yeah, we baked . . . did you like them? its hard ta get all tha right stuff fer em, but, they're good solid food, tops fer tha body." I asked her, then pondered a bit, and offered my own worries about Featherpants. "Denethorn . . .he's been . . .real cranky, so, I guess we both been burnt by tha fire of his mind recently then .. ." Strong Gal smiled real bright hearin cookies are good tucker, but frowns again about Featherpants "He called Ethan vile things... and.... then he said our marriage was cursed and mentioned divorce!" Her mouth curls into a pout and she blinks wide-eyed before cuddlin Snappypants.
That’s fuckin bat-shit crazy, that is, I know Featherpants and Sanppypants don’t see eye ta eye on a lot of things, especially where mate and adopted pup are concerned, but, that’s daft and I couldn’t get it right in my head "but . . .yer .. .yer mated . . I, why? that don’t make no sense .. ." Snappypants smirked slightly but recovered his grin turnin to Strong Gal "he was either drunk regardless of what he said, or just hurt about some other matter. maybe his girl ran away or he didn't get a girl he wanted... or he was just miserable and could not see straight. really princess, do not trouble yourself with him at this time, besides I told him to stay away from you until he manages not to upset you with his presence"
Bombshell! That’s just fucked up. I know he’s been goin through some fuckin aweful times, he went ta fuckin HELL, and brought Blue-Wife back, at tha cost of parts of his soul, but, I seen him since, I remember it, with one of my kin, courtin, it looked like. He seemed on top of things, at least, getting on with it. But, Snappypants went on "how IS that recovery going though Grr and are there any issues you could need assistance with regarding the recovery?" I try ta answer, but I’m still flash-banged from hearin about what Captain Featherpants said. I look ta Snappypants and then ta Strong Gal, on his lap, in his arms "Mr Brit, you always put tha Corp . . .no, Strong Gal, you always put Strong Gal's good first, right, as she's yer mate?" She looked up at him and back ta me, then kissed him on tha head and said "My beloved always takes care of me, It's why I stay close to him."
Back ta me, and how im recoverin, "ahh, its all . . .my head, I was seein things wrong, like my past was overlayed on my now, and, Her Ladyship, she reminded me, she sang down tha moon for me" Snappypants nodded in response ta my initial question about Strong Gal's good, then tilted his head like he was tryin ta follow my story. I talk funny, at tha best of times, I been told. Go figure, my brain aint wired fer Fleshie thinking, I can do it, butm, it aint tha way I was born, I had ta learn. He asked me "she sang down the moon for you... would you like to elaborate on that one Grr?" turning ta Strong Gal he said soft like ta her "that sounds like more or less of a romantic story" Strong Gal looked up and her eyes went wide. "How can someone sing down the moon?" She touched her mate's hair more as she heard him speak, "Oh yes, please...I wish to hear the story."
So I started my telling. "well, when I was broken, I could talk, and think, but if I touched what was broken, I couldn’t talk, if I thought about it? I couldn't say, I was trapped in my head. but I could sing. my breed, we're called tha singin dog, we sing to tha mood on tha nights when she's lonely. I think in tha way back, we upset her, so now we sing to make her happy. so even with my brain broken, I could still sing my heart. Strong Gal listened, but looked up and asked "You mean the moon...is a she?" I looked over and could see she was strugglin to understand. I just rolled my head side to side cause it was a strange question but I remember, "yep, she’s a she, tha Lady Phoebe, or Mother Luna, she's a she . . ." Snappypants runs his hands down Strong Gal’s back "I think it is a mannerism but the moon is often referred to as a she. now if it is a female indeed or the big orb floating in space is called a she for example's sake is rather irrelevant. what is important is, is Luna has an effect on Grr and his ancestors it seems what the sung communication goes" then thinking on my words and turned ta her "there you have your answer" She looked out tha window ta see tha thin crescent of tha Moon that hung there, givin me back tha gift of Change, which, right now, let me wear my furm, and be warm.
So I went on "I sang and I sang, and no one understood me, except tha Spook, Dryl, she sang a little back to me, but, she had ta go away, and I couldn't give her enough song, folks asked me what was wrong, they told me I was crazy, tha nasty angel lady said they should put me down, they laughed, or cried, but couldn't listen to my songs. they HEARD my songs, but they couldn’t listen to them" Strong Gal blink blinked a few times, like she was rememberin and puffed her cheeks. "I thought you were just singing...." Someone wandered in and got a bowl of chilli and sat eatin. I went on with my story. "I know, its awright, Strong Gal, I don’t mind none, but, there were times I just wanted ta die, I was . . .trapped, and broken, and no good ta no one"
Snappypants looked over his shoulder and nods in his usual greeting at tha eatin one, then turns back to me "sometimes we have to break hard, so we can rise and know we are whole again but it is rather healthy not to have the need of that often..." he hushed to hear the story continue, so I did "I stood my Watch, like I was ordered, I guarded War, like it pleased Her, I stood and I starved, and I sang. Then War went away, Death went away, Pestilence went away, and there was just me, broken, locked in my head, singin fer help. then . . . then . . .. Her ladyship came back ta me, I didn’t rightly know when, or how, but, She was back, and She loved me. So tired, She was, so, I fed her, and she held me, and loved me, not cause I fed her, but because I would, because I will Always, Always, be there fer Her, as long as Coyote gives me breath and blood ta live, and, maybe longer, because tha Wide River hold no mystery from me"
Strong Gal ran her fingers through Snappypant's hair rememberin something . She buried her face against his hair, a few blinks and she pulled back ta look at her mate. Snappypants blinkd once at the 'fed her' part and looks my neck and wrist, then looks back down trying not to stare for too long. Don’t know what he was expectin ta see, he leaves his bites on Strong Gal, plain enough, but, I got fur, and I heal, real fast. "but I was still broke, even fer all tha love and care, fer all their guilty thoughts, and such, my head was broke. they fought, tha folk in tha Library, about how ta make me better. They wanted ta magic me, I had folks rummage in my thoughts, pokin and proddin, and all I could do was sing" Snappypants nodded letting his head hang a bit "sometimes people come with the best of intentions and all but examine you to death searching for an approach that really touches your being" he smirks and clenches his fist momentarily like he knew what he is talking about, from personal experience.
"but, eventually, Her Ladyship listened to my songs, she heard, and she listened and I sang ta her, a song of us, and she knew." Strong Gal asked me what I meant about them tryin ta magic me. As Bohny tha Feline came in talking ta tha new folks "they were wanting ta use magic, and MAKE me better, ta fix my head like they thought it should be, I only got a small brain, Strong Gal, and a thick skull, and it was pretty messed up in there, I don’t think even if they tried, none of em seemed ta get that I aint a man, dressed as a dog, im a wolf, given tha shape of a man. As Bohny chatted, then wandered off, I was watchin her, old instincts and memories bubblin up, she wandered off, and I muttered, watchin her tail go "she's got good breedin hips . . . .err . . ."
Snappypants tried to keep focused on my story with all the interruptions but I saw him cover his mouth after my comment about good breedin hips "that reminds me of something" he trails the sentence off "but don't let me interrupt" he looks back at the new lookin couple millin about who just got assigned a room "there might be an issue with the beds squeaking but there is an oil can under the sink" Tha fella chuckled and shrugged. "That's fine. At least it's a bed" I grinned and added "not fer internal use" which sent them both giggling and blushin. Tha female was real pale and not bothered at all by tha cold, dressed in, well, not a lot. Fanger, my guess. Strong Gal asked ""You may wish to find some clothing for your beloved....or she will freeze...or someone will think she is like um... maybe... yah..... she needs clothes before she dies of cold." But it sounds like they both knew who, and what, tha female was.
Back ta my story, like I told them, small brain, easy ta get off track, when their aint a task at hand "err, Sergeant Menjou . .no . .. no, Spirit Gal, my Spirit Gal, she saw somethin I was lost without too, and she, she helped me, so much, she took me, or, showed me tha Path, at least, ta tha Forest. tha First Forest, tha Great Wood and, I , we, we went there, I took her. I ran, I RAN, through ta trees, in tha wild, oh, Strong Gal, tha feelin, tha wildness, tha purity, it was . ... primal. I hunted, I cast off all my army stuff and ran barefurred and hunted." Strong Gal keeps listenin ta me, as she directs her charges about and I can see she’s obviously followin what I mean, which is good, we connect more often than we don’t, I thinkwhich is odd ta think, sometimes, I’m all fire and earth, and she is water and air. I keep goin "I killed, and brought my kill back ta Spirit Gal, and we ate, under tha forest sky, we shared my kill, she's, she . . .we're mated too, I’m very lucky ta have tha both of them, they, I need them, tha fire, tha air, tha night, I need them both like fire needs wood and air, like it needs dark ta shine."
Strong Gal gasped happily, "you married Joah????" I just rolled my head side ta side lookin at Strong Gal, she was real excited by what I said, but I didn’t quite know why. Snappypants blinked like he was wonderin how he would explain. I tried, "I walk tha Path with her, wherever it leads, I took her ta tha Wide River and froze and burned fer her, and she'd do tha same. i shared my kill with her under tha open moon, does that mean we're married?" Snappypants gets a real nervous look in his eyes and looks from Strong Gal ta me and back a few times She looked thoughtful fer a moment then said "Well.....if she is your beloved...and you are hers....and you love each other...and are going to stay together...and are dating and god approves, I think it means married....yah?" She looks to Snappypants fer confirmation. Snappypants intentionally looked away checking tha soup and cookie supply before hearing her reply. Yup, fear, ha. "well, I would say that is rather accurate... if all of the above applies at least" he looks over to me biting his lower lip "congatulations then" he worked hard ta give me a happy face, but something was worryin him, not about me and Spirit Gal, but about how he was gunna explain ta Strong Gal tha details, I think.
"err, ta, mate, its nothin new, ya woulda seen me holdin her down when her and Strong Gal here got lust-dusted a whiles back." Strong Gal asked, "Lust-dusted?" and turned, rubbin noses with Snappypants and still playin with his head fur. "well, yeah, there was somethin tha two of ya got exposed ta, somethin that made ya beg fer kisses, and cuddles, remember?" Snappypants reminded her too "when you trashed Deb's bike and Joah and you were rather intensely asking for cuddles and kisses after getting exposed to that stuff in dust form" Sorted. So, I went on "but, err, anyways, Spirit gal reminded me of tha wild, and that let me heal, she made tha big step, and took herself in with it, and put herself at risk ta help me. . .. she, she cant walk between worlds on her own, and, well, she had only hope that when we got there, I wouldnt eat HER, but, love is thicker than madness, yeah? and she healed my spirit there. and in time, we came back here, where my Family is," Strong Gal turned beaming at Grr. "So she saved you....." Nodding, she beamed again and lisped at me "Beloveds do that for each other."
"that she did, Strong Gal, and so, I came back, still broken, but only in tha head, my spirit was mine again, and Spirit Gal was mine again, and that made tha world a better place. but, I was still broken, and I still was trapped in my head, and that’s when Her Ladyship listened to my songs. she listened as I sang of War, tha horror of it, tha pain that comes when ya cant leave it, and at tha same time, tha love I have fer Her. I sang Our song, and that’s when she KNEW, she thought I was askin ta die and be like Her at Her hand, at first, ta be unmade and then eternal, but, that aint it. I wanted Her ta know I would Always, ALWAYS be Hers. fer as long as I have breath and blood, fer as long as my debt ta Coyote lasts, and beyond. And then . . .then . . She sang to ME. She sang, ta ME."
I could feel myself startin ta cry. Big scary werewolf, big tough dog-soldier. Its ok, aint nothing wrong with havin emotions, I am wild, I am free, and holdin that locked up aint good, "She sang of peace, of tha end of War, sang of a long future, song of joy, and . .. She sang, ta ME". Strong Gal hopped up and dashed fer a paper towel thingy ta let me dry my face on, sweet thing she is, I got FUR, but, never poke a gift Fleshie in tha eye. She told me "She sang because she loves you...." Snappypants was tappin his figers on the chair listenin and focused real close on my tale blinking in surprise at tha tears, I saw his eyes open wide but he locked up shop not makin any move or lettin him express himself freely. Bottled up. Maybe that’s why he’s lived so long, but he said "and through this you started healing on the inside again?" I nodded at him, and went on, with hardly a blubber. "She sang down tha moon. Strong Gal, that’s what my kind do, in tha cold of tha night. when we are alone and empty, we sing, and tha moon listens, and comes ta kiss tha ground, and we sing to each other, and find our mates. She sang ta ME. and yeah, She reminded me, She let moon touch ground, and I . . .I .. . un-snapped, with her love, and Spirit Gal's"
Strong Gal goes soft in tha eyes, softer, even, I guess, and "oh’d" softly. She nods understandin and said, "I'm glad you are getting well again." With a glance to Snappypants, she lisped, "I would perish if my beloved did as well."
He looked reall worried fer a second there again, and I aint quite sure why, or I wasn’t at tha time "that is a touching story Grr and it is good to know there are those that care and will go out of their way to reach for you" I thought I needed ta say more though, cause tha tale wasn’t done. "I . . .I almost killed Spirit Gal, ta free her from tha Thing, I burnt with Sacred Fire, and it worked, fer a little while, I took her ta tha Wide River where the dead go, and nothin can die, and . . .it wasnt enough. then tha Things took Her Ladyship, MY Omega, and I stabbed Her, pinned Her through tha heart to tha wall of tha Library, thats when I snapped. thats when it all went crazy. thats why tha Library kicked me out. But, they came back, and they came back fer me. I wasn't left behind again. I wasn’t left in tha crater. with tha bodies, in tha blood, in tha mud" I started ta loose it again, I remembered tha siege at tha Firebase, tha Indo Felines comin over tha wire, tha barrage, tha whistle and tha fire, tha blast, and tha pain, and what came later, in tha hospital . . . after they eventually found me. I musta been starin off fer a while, I realised I was scratchin at tha scars on my chest, that poked through my open jacket.
Strong Gal asked Snappypants "Is this why you do not wish me to go back into the library?" Snappypants stays silent regarding Brit's question for a while then responds "the events Grr described or part of them were definitely a fragment of the reasons I did not wish you on the road alone during those days" he looked back ta me "as I said, not best is fine as long as you are on your way to best and better is a good waypoint towards that". he nodded over to the newcomers "welcome to the shelter" I snapped back tat ha here and now "but they did, both of them, and all my Family, they all loved me, needed me and were there, and now, now I’m better, not best, but better" I looked over my shoulder and waved "g'day folks, warm and safe in here, food in tha pot, chilli taday, its good" then blinked, shook my head and grined "see, some things come natural, some things, tha things close ta my heart, take some doin . . but yeah, im on tha road ta redemtion . . ." Snappypants repeats rather mumbled "redemption" he mouths the word slowly and goes absent minded for quite some while. I looked Snappypants right in tha eye, noddin "I speak true, Mr Brit, I only had a short span, but I need just as much as those with a longer one, and I think ya understand, too, better than most"
Strong Gal asked me "Grr...is...um....the library safe again?" one of the neew folks perked right up and asked where it was, and I told Strong Gal "far as I know, if Blue Shadow aint bled anywhere, I . .. I need ta talk to tha Spirit, yeah mate, its my home, and Strong Gal here's . .. err. Brit's . . OTHER home" She goes on, telling tha new folks "there is a beautiful library...." She looks to Snappypants and back, "But I cannot go there....these days It has a pretty fireplace...and it is warm.... We used to canoodle in front of the fire place way lots....it's very good place to canoodle." Snappypants took a while to respond and then waited for a moment until there was a silent span again looking back at me "I reckon such a thing has nothing to do with the time we have been given but with our drive for it, that can build up rather magnificently in days and weeks and months and doesn't need aeons. I understand you well. maybe better than most would think, Coyote" he turns to Strong Gal and his previous expression fades into a warmer one. looking over at the couch he grins slightly "good we have not found any rat pieces there in a while"
He called me Coyote, too, fer all his stuffy ways, and bein a Fanger and all, I like Snappypants, he is true ta himself, and sees deep. "a critter's gotta eat, and, tha Felines all seem ta prefer fish in cans . . ." Strong Gal lisped, "It would have been like your dream buffet then...cuz they all exploded from the inside out...everywhere." She looked at tha walls, ceilin, and floor. Snappypants shruged in memory of that "whether it tasted good or not, that sight was rather appalling. even the sight of hundreds of chicken exploding uncooked all over the place is not rather good for appetite" he shook the image off "good thing the chilli smells better, too" he points at the pot on the stove. We talked a bit on tha best ways ta make use of city-meat, burgers and peanut satay, they were my favourite ways. Back ta Strong Gal’s question, I told them both "ha Library is safe. though, too safe fer some, these days, tha Library Spirit was well rankled that tha Horsemen could out-strip Her fer power" Strong Gal nibbled her lower lip and peeks at her mate again. She puffed her cheeks slightly and looks thoughtful, then shaking her head, she said, "I'm glad...it is safe again."
Snappypants gestures goodbye tat ha new folks, I think they will be stopping in at tha Library soon, seemed, clever too, we should look ta recruit em, if they last long. He looked over at Strong Gal like he was half keepin track of what she just thought and not said. I wonder how close their bond is, they seem ta know each others minds pretty close "maybe I will take you again sometime soon"
I grinned and shook my head as they left "kids .. .ha . .. was I ever that young? hell, im still probably younger even . . " Strong Gal nuzzling Snappypants, smiled sayin, "I'd like that....to go again with you...." She smiled real warmly at the thought and cuddled playfully. Then ta me, she said, "I'm glad you are well again...better.....I would have been very sad.....very sad....if you would have lost your way...." Snappypants added "or if you had perished..." he nods several times after the statement. "after all, you are very set to your sense of duty and no-one can really keep his track constantly without exception, you are rather of the reliable sort when you are not in the worst state, just as long as it is good, better or best" he caresses Strong Gal's hair slowly "we should do that soon"
"well, we'd like that, Strong Gal, Mr Brit, we'd like ta see ya both there, and yeah, Kin, Pack, Blood. Duty ta all three" That got her thinking, and she puzzled over my Words. Tha motto I learnt as my first words. "Kin... Pack.... Blood. Kin is family? Pack... is...... um Blood.... like sharing as I do with Ethan?" Snappypants blinks up at her question and looks ta me with a slightly amused grin on his face "interesting question I would say, though I think the initial meaning was meant to be a bit different" So I tried ta explain so she’s understand. "kin, thats my own kind, tha other shifters, Pack, thats family, like you . . . and blood, that’s, those I would fight for, shed blood for, and beside, my brothers and sisters in arms" Strong Gal, sharp mind she’s got in there, asked me a real good question, something that’s hard ta explain ta civilians. "what is the difference between family and blood?" I give it a shot, in terms I think she’ll follow "Family, is all of those I would protect, who protect me, my future, my dear ones, my Beloveds"
Snappypants coughed unnecessarily to conceal the plural form of the "Beloved" word like he was hoping it went unnoticed, then nodded "family is important to any animal, including humans mind you" he didn’t seem to exclude himself from the animal description and nudges Brit with the side of his cheek, that’s good, that’s what I hoped, and expected ta see, that’s why they are good tagether.
"Blood, are those I respect for their strength, and their sacrifice, their fulfillin of duty with their bodies ahh, yeah, not tha same . . .that, that’s what I would call Pack, in yer case, Strong Gal, you and Mr Brit there, a pack of two." Snappypants grinned wide and repeated me mouthin it slowly "Mr Brit" he turns to her and nudges her again "you see, I am your pack" he looks back to me "you see, I do only work in a pack that big, I could not have a larger pack than that" he looks back ta her "nor will I ever need to" She wonders fer a moment "That is not very many... Perhaps Gweneth is part of the pack." She looks to him and shrugged, "When she is near.... she came when it was important for her to be here Maybe two....is enough... Beloveds rather than a pack, maybe." Ahh, see, this is what Snappypants was wonderin over. "I understand that, its in tha nature of most two-legs ta make a small Family, but, well, I was never like that, I was born in a litter of six, my kind, we'd have big Families, lots of uncles and aunts ta look ta us, and care fer us, but, in tha zoo, there was only us . . ." Strong Gal muses some more. "I only had Pars...then....Denny and the people in the library....then...Ethan." Trailin her fingers through his head fur, she lisped, "And....our marriage is not cursed....and....we will not divorce....... and..... Ethan will always be my beloved...and my one and only. Denny is not usually unkind."
Snappypants shifts a bit uncomfortable in the sofa "Gwen is like adopted family but not pack, it is more like a child, that now is old and is not supposed to live at home anymore staying out there to hunt and be on her own" he shrugged and looks to his mate "you like beloveds more? beloveds it will remain" he shakes his head again "stop thinking about what Denny said, he was just rambling, baby" This is my cue ta tell em how I felt about tha two of them. I was reall worried, when I first noticed Strong Gal, well, becoming Strong Gal, but, I think I see what and why, now "I think yer marriage is one of tha best things thats ever happened in this city" and I can leave it at that.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Rats!
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Ash and blood smeared, water spotted entry dated 23/11/2008
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Tha runner that came from tha Shelter told us "Joah" wanted me, Her Ladyship or Denny ta meet her there, and that she needed a Vessel. Tha runner said someone named Brit was with her.
Tha Messenger said "Is probably a trap.." then as Raven's Song said "Brit?" I just yelled "FUCK" and Tha Messenger gasped "No.." I didn't wait fer nothin, pulled my mirror and did what i'd call a combat-fold. No checkin, no recon, just hopped tha Other in no-time. I flashed in ta tha Shelter lookin face ta face with my target "Hello Strong Gal . . .tha thing that look like Joah, is riding her body." hard intel out, I looked about and looked at her, fer Signs. Strong Gal nibbled her lip and said "Ethan hates bugs." She scratched slightly at a red mark on her chest near her chain. I went on "like a cheep version of what Labyrinth was, through tha Huntress Nareth." Strong Gal nodded and said "Blue did not look so good either...they are looking for a vessel..." I nodded, sniffin and lookin about. I could smell Pestilence. I knew its foul scent now. It was loose. I could scent Death too, a chalky, dusty smell. "no. they are both in our friends. They stole our friends bodies to be tha Four Horsemen." Pestilence was here. "and they can fuck. right. off."
Pestilence tilts her head slightly, her eyes hooded like she was day-dreamin. As she did, there was a skitterin sound, a scratching against the walls. I looked close to Brit's chest, well inside her personal space, and inspects the mark there. I heard Raven's Song come in lookin about cautiously, her body braced and tense at tha sounds; Strong Gal scratched more at the reddish mark. "Who are the other two?" Lookin about at the walls, she looks back to me. "If that is a rat, Ethan is gonna toss a hissy fit. He hired real people to do a toxic sweep of this place for living space."
Pestilence looks at me, mouth open, smiling, lips unmovin as handful of worms tumble from her mouth. "You want to fuck, dog?" tha whispers rasped. The scratchin in the walls got louder. I could hear it in the cabinets in the kitchen, echoing against the wooden drawers and panels. "Strong Gal . . .tha thing tha looks like Joah? its a Rider of tha Apocalypse, its Pestilance, its filth and decay, its undone tha stuff Snappypants paid fer" Tha Messenger walks around the corner, stopping as she see's the others. Raven's Song offered the young femal Fleshie quietly, " If they are, They're not reminants of what had been there. I'm doubting these are even natural... if they are." Strong Gal waved at Lia, “this ... this is Lia ... and she is way nice .... and .. .Lia, this is Grr ... and .... Rhaven .... and ..... that is Faye Li...." Lia said back ta her “I met Grr before. He saved me from a vampire!" Thought I recognized her scent, most Fleshies look alike ta me, ha, as tha sayin goes. Tha Messenger said ta Pestilence “I am the guiding light of death.. and I'll show you the way to yours, filth.” Tha kitchen drawers began ta rattle, the sound tableware clinkin, boxes knocked over in the cabinets...the scurrying in the walls.... I looked at Pestilence, ridin tha body of my Spirit Gal, as Strong Gal woulda said, one of my Beloveds. “fuckin is natural, fuckin is right, fuckin is natures way of makin more nature. you got tha right holes, Thing, but you aint part of nature,like ya said, yer before, so yeah, i want to, and you and me aint gunna. find a demon” Strong Gal was lookin real worried She whispered ta me, "you know Ethan is going to fuss....you know how he gets sometimes...." Raven's Song steadied herself, turnin in on herself as she drew tha Watchtowers, I could tell from tha energies movin around her reachin out to Tha Messenger and me with tendrils of psychic light.
Pestilence laughed. "You said fuck off, dog....I merely made the offer..." As it laughed tha cabinet doors popped open, there was tha sound of drawers bein pushed out, fallin to tha floor. A wave of rats streamed over the counters, around the counters, into the room...the air filled with their fuckin screechin and screein of claws on the tiles. I looked around "oh, nature's bounty . . . ." and I unfurled my new bull-whip and drew my little sword "stand back, meat comin up . . .” Lia gasped as she saw the rats. Palin, she backed up, Raven's Song drew a ward to her, a growin island in the chaos of writhin fur that seems to pile out of nowhere. Strong Gal blinked and looked from one to the other of us. She ran to grab Lia's hand and evaced toward tha little office so she is nearer to a door. Smart thinking, our Strong Gal. Tha Messenger stood her ground, glanced at Strong Gal briefly, showing a slight relieved smile, before glaring back at Pestilence. This was my dance. I spuns and whirled in a song of blood as from my crouch in a furious series of swings of fur and cloth, I sliced and diced tha rat tide with whip and sword. “Never. Pass up. Free. Food.” I was makin a mess. A big red and brown mess. They kept comin, mad in their sickness and hunger, and I kept cutting a swathe. Blade and lash, and little chunks of broken and busted rat.
Pestilence parts her lips, whispering something in that not-Arab language they use. As she did tha remaining rats seemed to collapse where they were, dead on the floor. The smell of rotting flesh begins to permeate the area. I massacred the rats. Pestilence upped tha stakes. Raven's Song continued to draw on the favors of gods and goddesses past, their names whispered in sweet tone under her breath. "Isis... Asate... Dianna... Hecatate..." but tha flesh of the dead rats, the ones that I splattered and the others who died at Pestilences biddin, began ta roil and ripple. The smell in the Shelter almost becomes unbearable.... So I
I stopped and flicked tha gore off his sword and sheathed it, then looks at Pestilence, and cracked my whip at her, snappin it in front of her face so that rat gore sprays her. Fuckin godlings. Least I can show my contempt fer their breakin tha cycle, by paintin them with their own wastage. I see Lia gaggin as she takes in tha scent. Then try ta keep her food down, she slapped a hand over her nose.
I stood amidst the whelter of my gory display and waved the others out "you others, who aint stood knee deep in tha blood of yer kin, out”
Strong Gal blinked in bewilderment, poor luv, she ain’t used ta this kinda SNAFU. She watched as the rat bodies piled up and at the first whiff, she brought her sleeve to her nose and blinked hard.
I saw Raven's Song grimace, trying her best to hold on ta tha contents of her stomach as she contues her chant, "Dimitre... Kali... Inanna." Again and again, she calls upon Goddesses and Watchtowers, buildin her Inner Self to send out in Golden auric waves toward me fer me ta take, and use, as needed. Bloody grateful fer that. No idea what Pestilence was gunna throw at us next. It just tilted her head back, acceptin the spray and smilin. She opened her lips, and tha expression crossin her was like she was is deep in passion. Maggots begin to drip out of her mouth, falling to the floor, rippling through the slain bodies of the multitude of rats lying at her feet. She opened her eyes fuly, looking at Raven’s Song, then at me, and laughed a sparkling, tinkly laugh. I coiled tha bull-whip and coughed, wrinklin my muzzle up, and again, I felt the light of Others reflectin through me, making my fur to glow golden. Tha Messenger glanced at the ones near her, "Come. We don't need it escaping." I slungs my whip over my shoulder and kicked a rat thigh off my paw. “we're gunna need shovels . . .” Lia gagged again even through she was coverin her mouth. Raven's Song 's head came back up and in lighter mimic of Joah's pose, her own in contrary bliss as her chantin continued, gainin in tempo; a sing song of a mantra from a soulful voice. Nice and all, but there mighta been something building. Plague Rats don’t bring much good. “out, all of you's out, this aint tha place fer plant-eaters” Strong Gal looked around at the couple of hundred of dead rats that were brought. Each of them in different levels of decay. "Um....how can we get them out of here....?" Raven's Song blinked, openin her eyes and noddin, backing her way out though still concentratin as Tha Messenger lightly tugs at her arm.
I tell them “shovels, Strong Gal, we'll need shovels but later, now, we need you out, or ya'll get sick” Pestilence bent low, pickin up the bloody corpse of one rat and rubbing it against her cheek. Tha maggots drop from tha little broken body, wrigglin away on the floor. Dropping the rat, Pestilence walked outta tha Shelter without a word. I try ta calm things, now It’s gone “Strong Gal, once this is over, we'll burn these and use tha ash ta make fertiliser fer flowers, hows that sound, nature dont abide waste” Pestilence lookd at tha Messenger as It walked by, saw her weapon and grinned. Tha Messenger glares back, "I'm coming for you."
Tha Messenger stood back. Pestilence stops turning slightly toward me. "Tilt at windmills, dog. Tilt all you like." I give It a hard look, seein if I catch a glimpse of Spirit Gal in there “till my debt is paid, you should know that, i gave my all ta two of yer kin, and i did it good.” Tha Messenger growls, knowing Spirit Gal’s still in there somewhere too. I go on. “ask yer sister how good a servant i was.”
Some fresh Fleshie chick wanders up and get slapped in tha nose with tha smell. stopin short lookin over the floor, " Oh My and i sleep here" I just opened my mirror and got out of there, back home to tha Library. Raven’s Song, and Tha Messenger ran on back after me. I picked fragments of rat off my fur and popped it in my mouth, chewin as I thought. Tha Messenger looks me over again, her eyes were still glowin white like her sword, "Did it flee?" and Raven's Song 's eyes and skin still glow with the light of Inner Self, Watchtowers ain’t something easily called or, as easily, put away. Raven's Song said “We... were up to our eyeballs in Grr's lunch. I don't think it went very far.” Pep talk time “yeah, i think we're startin ta piss it off, nice work, tha lot of ya” I finished picking big globs of rat off myself and moves to inspect the rest of my Family. Tha Messenger nods slightly, "It was.. right there.. but, so is she.." she released the sword back to the aether and the glow left her eyes.
“yeah one lob of a sword, problem solved, and . . .no Spirit Gal” I didn’t like tha thought that I might have ta do that, not thinkin in, not thinking of thinkin of it. And sure as fuck not anyone ELSE thinkin of it neither. Raven's Song sobered a moment, sendin out her Sight before calling, and thanking, the Cardinal Guardians and Goddesses alike... sending them back to their resting places. There as a feelin like altitude change, pressure let off. Blinkin again, she let herself to sink to the ground, trembling in exhaustion. Tha Messenger said “I will not take Joah..” I plucks chunks off Faye, popping each into his mouth nad chomps then away. I gave her a good lookin over, she’s been real stand-up through all this. Raven's Song said “I... I hope it doesn't have to come to that...”
It might though, if it comes ta that, better it were me. She’s make tha trip over tha Wide River better that way, I think, but I got tha feelin that tha Messenger knew what she was doin too. Somethin about that mark she put on my head, and tha Words she spoke. “it aint goin nowhere, if it comes ta that, i'll collect its fuckin head, and see her over tha River myself.” Tha Messenger nods slowly, "I'll go with you.." Raven's Song said “As will I.” I looked at them both shrewdly "you just might at that . . . " Tha Messenger said “You see why it's so hard.. accepting this..”
But I couldn’t let em all taste that cold water. I looked ta Raven’s Song, that bright, glowin gal, young and fresh, full of life and wonder “Raven's Song, no offence intended, but i think yer place is more in tha realm of tha livin. if i judge right. you dont wanna be treadin tha Realms of tha Dead.” I finish snackin off Messenger’s gore coat and moves to Raven’s Song next as Griff tha Righteous Fanger came in “good evening Omegans” Raven's Song gaze lifts ta meet mine "I'm not afraid to face my mortality. I told y'all, once, it's what I do with what I have that matters. I will stay behind, though, if that's what's needed of me." Tha Messenger said “I don't want to take her.. I didn't want to have to ever make that choice.. so I don't accept this, not what I am.” I was bein a bad host, but I managed ta get out ta Griff “not much fuckin good about it, but, hello” as Blake came in too. Raven's Song turned to Blake offering a warm smile. "Hey, boo." Tha Messenger turns, noddin a slight hello to Blake too "Hey.. sight for sore eyes.." Griff raised an eyebrow at me "Grr you look like you’ve been on one hell of a pub crawl" I was splattered with rat, burnt and charred from fightin off tha cold of Death with thermite, and still coated and matted with tha mud from tha Dark Jungle by tha side of tha Wide River where I took Joah, after Tha Thing tried ta end her ta fuckin spite me. Bastard. Tha Messenger walked up ta me, dusting herself off on the way sayin “The blood may wash away, but your blessing is true.”
“yeah, all tha best bars from Bali ta Beirut, Mogadishu ta Baghdad, i'm gunna go swim some, and get kinda clean” I bobbed my head in thanks to Tha Messenger, then puts a paw on Raven’s Song’s shoulder and padded away out the door and around the corner, too tired to walk up and down stairs. Bereft of my Spirit Gal, burnt by Sacred Fire, chilled by tha Wide River, then burnt by science, then frosted by Death Herself, then two combat-folds, and splattered in rotten scavenger as summoned by tha very Thing that stole my Spirit Gal and rode her body. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I wish Her Ladyship would come home soon, I need her strength and her wisdom.
I miss Featherpants. I miss Spirit Gal, I miss Her Ladyship. I need backup.
Ash and blood smeared, water spotted entry dated 23/11/2008
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Tha runner that came from tha Shelter told us "Joah" wanted me, Her Ladyship or Denny ta meet her there, and that she needed a Vessel. Tha runner said someone named Brit was with her.
Tha Messenger said "Is probably a trap.." then as Raven's Song said "Brit?" I just yelled "FUCK" and Tha Messenger gasped "No.." I didn't wait fer nothin, pulled my mirror and did what i'd call a combat-fold. No checkin, no recon, just hopped tha Other in no-time. I flashed in ta tha Shelter lookin face ta face with my target "Hello Strong Gal . . .tha thing that look like Joah, is riding her body." hard intel out, I looked about and looked at her, fer Signs. Strong Gal nibbled her lip and said "Ethan hates bugs." She scratched slightly at a red mark on her chest near her chain. I went on "like a cheep version of what Labyrinth was, through tha Huntress Nareth." Strong Gal nodded and said "Blue did not look so good either...they are looking for a vessel..." I nodded, sniffin and lookin about. I could smell Pestilence. I knew its foul scent now. It was loose. I could scent Death too, a chalky, dusty smell. "no. they are both in our friends. They stole our friends bodies to be tha Four Horsemen." Pestilence was here. "and they can fuck. right. off."
Pestilence tilts her head slightly, her eyes hooded like she was day-dreamin. As she did, there was a skitterin sound, a scratching against the walls. I looked close to Brit's chest, well inside her personal space, and inspects the mark there. I heard Raven's Song come in lookin about cautiously, her body braced and tense at tha sounds; Strong Gal scratched more at the reddish mark. "Who are the other two?" Lookin about at the walls, she looks back to me. "If that is a rat, Ethan is gonna toss a hissy fit. He hired real people to do a toxic sweep of this place for living space."
Pestilence looks at me, mouth open, smiling, lips unmovin as handful of worms tumble from her mouth. "You want to fuck, dog?" tha whispers rasped. The scratchin in the walls got louder. I could hear it in the cabinets in the kitchen, echoing against the wooden drawers and panels. "Strong Gal . . .tha thing tha looks like Joah? its a Rider of tha Apocalypse, its Pestilance, its filth and decay, its undone tha stuff Snappypants paid fer" Tha Messenger walks around the corner, stopping as she see's the others. Raven's Song offered the young femal Fleshie quietly, " If they are, They're not reminants of what had been there. I'm doubting these are even natural... if they are." Strong Gal waved at Lia, “this ... this is Lia ... and she is way nice .... and .. .Lia, this is Grr ... and .... Rhaven .... and ..... that is Faye Li...." Lia said back ta her “I met Grr before. He saved me from a vampire!" Thought I recognized her scent, most Fleshies look alike ta me, ha, as tha sayin goes. Tha Messenger said ta Pestilence “I am the guiding light of death.. and I'll show you the way to yours, filth.” Tha kitchen drawers began ta rattle, the sound tableware clinkin, boxes knocked over in the cabinets...the scurrying in the walls.... I looked at Pestilence, ridin tha body of my Spirit Gal, as Strong Gal woulda said, one of my Beloveds. “fuckin is natural, fuckin is right, fuckin is natures way of makin more nature. you got tha right holes, Thing, but you aint part of nature,like ya said, yer before, so yeah, i want to, and you and me aint gunna. find a demon” Strong Gal was lookin real worried She whispered ta me, "you know Ethan is going to fuss....you know how he gets sometimes...." Raven's Song steadied herself, turnin in on herself as she drew tha Watchtowers, I could tell from tha energies movin around her reachin out to Tha Messenger and me with tendrils of psychic light.
Pestilence laughed. "You said fuck off, dog....I merely made the offer..." As it laughed tha cabinet doors popped open, there was tha sound of drawers bein pushed out, fallin to tha floor. A wave of rats streamed over the counters, around the counters, into the room...the air filled with their fuckin screechin and screein of claws on the tiles. I looked around "oh, nature's bounty . . . ." and I unfurled my new bull-whip and drew my little sword "stand back, meat comin up . . .” Lia gasped as she saw the rats. Palin, she backed up, Raven's Song drew a ward to her, a growin island in the chaos of writhin fur that seems to pile out of nowhere. Strong Gal blinked and looked from one to the other of us. She ran to grab Lia's hand and evaced toward tha little office so she is nearer to a door. Smart thinking, our Strong Gal. Tha Messenger stood her ground, glanced at Strong Gal briefly, showing a slight relieved smile, before glaring back at Pestilence. This was my dance. I spuns and whirled in a song of blood as from my crouch in a furious series of swings of fur and cloth, I sliced and diced tha rat tide with whip and sword. “Never. Pass up. Free. Food.” I was makin a mess. A big red and brown mess. They kept comin, mad in their sickness and hunger, and I kept cutting a swathe. Blade and lash, and little chunks of broken and busted rat.
Pestilence parts her lips, whispering something in that not-Arab language they use. As she did tha remaining rats seemed to collapse where they were, dead on the floor. The smell of rotting flesh begins to permeate the area. I massacred the rats. Pestilence upped tha stakes. Raven's Song continued to draw on the favors of gods and goddesses past, their names whispered in sweet tone under her breath. "Isis... Asate... Dianna... Hecatate..." but tha flesh of the dead rats, the ones that I splattered and the others who died at Pestilences biddin, began ta roil and ripple. The smell in the Shelter almost becomes unbearable.... So I
I stopped and flicked tha gore off his sword and sheathed it, then looks at Pestilence, and cracked my whip at her, snappin it in front of her face so that rat gore sprays her. Fuckin godlings. Least I can show my contempt fer their breakin tha cycle, by paintin them with their own wastage. I see Lia gaggin as she takes in tha scent. Then try ta keep her food down, she slapped a hand over her nose.
I stood amidst the whelter of my gory display and waved the others out "you others, who aint stood knee deep in tha blood of yer kin, out”
Strong Gal blinked in bewilderment, poor luv, she ain’t used ta this kinda SNAFU. She watched as the rat bodies piled up and at the first whiff, she brought her sleeve to her nose and blinked hard.
I saw Raven's Song grimace, trying her best to hold on ta tha contents of her stomach as she contues her chant, "Dimitre... Kali... Inanna." Again and again, she calls upon Goddesses and Watchtowers, buildin her Inner Self to send out in Golden auric waves toward me fer me ta take, and use, as needed. Bloody grateful fer that. No idea what Pestilence was gunna throw at us next. It just tilted her head back, acceptin the spray and smilin. She opened her lips, and tha expression crossin her was like she was is deep in passion. Maggots begin to drip out of her mouth, falling to the floor, rippling through the slain bodies of the multitude of rats lying at her feet. She opened her eyes fuly, looking at Raven’s Song, then at me, and laughed a sparkling, tinkly laugh. I coiled tha bull-whip and coughed, wrinklin my muzzle up, and again, I felt the light of Others reflectin through me, making my fur to glow golden. Tha Messenger glanced at the ones near her, "Come. We don't need it escaping." I slungs my whip over my shoulder and kicked a rat thigh off my paw. “we're gunna need shovels . . .” Lia gagged again even through she was coverin her mouth. Raven's Song 's head came back up and in lighter mimic of Joah's pose, her own in contrary bliss as her chantin continued, gainin in tempo; a sing song of a mantra from a soulful voice. Nice and all, but there mighta been something building. Plague Rats don’t bring much good. “out, all of you's out, this aint tha place fer plant-eaters” Strong Gal looked around at the couple of hundred of dead rats that were brought. Each of them in different levels of decay. "Um....how can we get them out of here....?" Raven's Song blinked, openin her eyes and noddin, backing her way out though still concentratin as Tha Messenger lightly tugs at her arm.
I tell them “shovels, Strong Gal, we'll need shovels but later, now, we need you out, or ya'll get sick” Pestilence bent low, pickin up the bloody corpse of one rat and rubbing it against her cheek. Tha maggots drop from tha little broken body, wrigglin away on the floor. Dropping the rat, Pestilence walked outta tha Shelter without a word. I try ta calm things, now It’s gone “Strong Gal, once this is over, we'll burn these and use tha ash ta make fertiliser fer flowers, hows that sound, nature dont abide waste” Pestilence lookd at tha Messenger as It walked by, saw her weapon and grinned. Tha Messenger glares back, "I'm coming for you."
Tha Messenger stood back. Pestilence stops turning slightly toward me. "Tilt at windmills, dog. Tilt all you like." I give It a hard look, seein if I catch a glimpse of Spirit Gal in there “till my debt is paid, you should know that, i gave my all ta two of yer kin, and i did it good.” Tha Messenger growls, knowing Spirit Gal’s still in there somewhere too. I go on. “ask yer sister how good a servant i was.”
Some fresh Fleshie chick wanders up and get slapped in tha nose with tha smell. stopin short lookin over the floor, " Oh My and i sleep here" I just opened my mirror and got out of there, back home to tha Library. Raven’s Song, and Tha Messenger ran on back after me. I picked fragments of rat off my fur and popped it in my mouth, chewin as I thought. Tha Messenger looks me over again, her eyes were still glowin white like her sword, "Did it flee?" and Raven's Song 's eyes and skin still glow with the light of Inner Self, Watchtowers ain’t something easily called or, as easily, put away. Raven's Song said “We... were up to our eyeballs in Grr's lunch. I don't think it went very far.” Pep talk time “yeah, i think we're startin ta piss it off, nice work, tha lot of ya” I finished picking big globs of rat off myself and moves to inspect the rest of my Family. Tha Messenger nods slightly, "It was.. right there.. but, so is she.." she released the sword back to the aether and the glow left her eyes.
“yeah one lob of a sword, problem solved, and . . .no Spirit Gal” I didn’t like tha thought that I might have ta do that, not thinkin in, not thinking of thinkin of it. And sure as fuck not anyone ELSE thinkin of it neither. Raven's Song sobered a moment, sendin out her Sight before calling, and thanking, the Cardinal Guardians and Goddesses alike... sending them back to their resting places. There as a feelin like altitude change, pressure let off. Blinkin again, she let herself to sink to the ground, trembling in exhaustion. Tha Messenger said “I will not take Joah..” I plucks chunks off Faye, popping each into his mouth nad chomps then away. I gave her a good lookin over, she’s been real stand-up through all this. Raven's Song said “I... I hope it doesn't have to come to that...”
It might though, if it comes ta that, better it were me. She’s make tha trip over tha Wide River better that way, I think, but I got tha feelin that tha Messenger knew what she was doin too. Somethin about that mark she put on my head, and tha Words she spoke. “it aint goin nowhere, if it comes ta that, i'll collect its fuckin head, and see her over tha River myself.” Tha Messenger nods slowly, "I'll go with you.." Raven's Song said “As will I.” I looked at them both shrewdly "you just might at that . . . " Tha Messenger said “You see why it's so hard.. accepting this..”
But I couldn’t let em all taste that cold water. I looked ta Raven’s Song, that bright, glowin gal, young and fresh, full of life and wonder “Raven's Song, no offence intended, but i think yer place is more in tha realm of tha livin. if i judge right. you dont wanna be treadin tha Realms of tha Dead.” I finish snackin off Messenger’s gore coat and moves to Raven’s Song next as Griff tha Righteous Fanger came in “good evening Omegans” Raven's Song gaze lifts ta meet mine "I'm not afraid to face my mortality. I told y'all, once, it's what I do with what I have that matters. I will stay behind, though, if that's what's needed of me." Tha Messenger said “I don't want to take her.. I didn't want to have to ever make that choice.. so I don't accept this, not what I am.” I was bein a bad host, but I managed ta get out ta Griff “not much fuckin good about it, but, hello” as Blake came in too. Raven's Song turned to Blake offering a warm smile. "Hey, boo." Tha Messenger turns, noddin a slight hello to Blake too "Hey.. sight for sore eyes.." Griff raised an eyebrow at me "Grr you look like you’ve been on one hell of a pub crawl" I was splattered with rat, burnt and charred from fightin off tha cold of Death with thermite, and still coated and matted with tha mud from tha Dark Jungle by tha side of tha Wide River where I took Joah, after Tha Thing tried ta end her ta fuckin spite me. Bastard. Tha Messenger walked up ta me, dusting herself off on the way sayin “The blood may wash away, but your blessing is true.”
“yeah, all tha best bars from Bali ta Beirut, Mogadishu ta Baghdad, i'm gunna go swim some, and get kinda clean” I bobbed my head in thanks to Tha Messenger, then puts a paw on Raven’s Song’s shoulder and padded away out the door and around the corner, too tired to walk up and down stairs. Bereft of my Spirit Gal, burnt by Sacred Fire, chilled by tha Wide River, then burnt by science, then frosted by Death Herself, then two combat-folds, and splattered in rotten scavenger as summoned by tha very Thing that stole my Spirit Gal and rode her body. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I wish Her Ladyship would come home soon, I need her strength and her wisdom.
I miss Featherpants. I miss Spirit Gal, I miss Her Ladyship. I need backup.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Second Horseman
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Ash and blood smeared entry, dated 23/11/2008
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I was still mud covered from bringin Joah back from tha clutches of Death. Spirit Gal was locked up by Tha Thing again, but Featherpants had yanked her off to some Other Place. I had been back in tha Library, tryin ta pick up tha pieces. I had given Shiny some PT, caught up with tha Messenger, and Raven's Song. Our Family was in trouble, and we needed ta regroup. We were missin Her Ladyship bad, but she was off on a tour. That meant tha role of command was on me. Not tha first time, but maybe tha most serious. Whilst Featherpants was off dealin with Tha Thing, and Her Ladyship away fer however long she was gunna be off, I had ta keep tha place together.
I was achin still from my burns, even though I'd gotten healin from Spirit Gal before Tha Thing took her again. More than that, I was chilled to tha marrow by Tha River. I could hear its song still in my head, it was callin me ta its flow. My tak there un-done, and tha longer task, my own journey on it, waitin fer me at tha end of my days. Nothin lives fer ever. Nothin that really lives, anyway. But in came Tha Thing that rode Joah. It jumped up tha mantle and begins meditatin, eyes roving from person to person below. Blue Shadow had come in a bit before and we had been talking about torture, how it was her thing, and I had argued it weren;t tha wolf in her that brought it out, but tha human. Wolves don't torture prey. They kill it and eat it after a chase. Harry, maybe, wound, yeah, but that aint torture, its tactics. Blue looked up at Tha Thing and grumbled, but all but ignored her fer a bit. It bothered ME though "beats me why tha Library dont object ta It, but She doesnt." I said, Messenger took a good look at It too, but It spoke at us "You mean the Old Woman in the Walls?" It smiled down at me, It looked so much like Spirit Gal's smile, but, not, tha eyes, tha eyes were wrong, I couls See It, and It knew I could. "you know who i mean." I said back ta It, I wan't in tha mood fer its games, in my home, with my Family, and our guardian spirit. Blue speaks up, a little confused. "There was this thing scampering around in here yesterday... where did it go?" I ask her if she means our spook, she blinked and looked surprised "is that what it is?" so I asked her if she was talkin about a wee ghostie.
Raven's Song was curious about it too, but Blue Shadow went on. "I don't know I never seen a ghost before... it was white and trying to hide behind things" Sounds like her ta me, Messenger agreed "I remember a spirit 'ere before. She 'ad a wand or a scepter some sort." I tried something, a touch of tactical mis-information "we think she was one of tha original Libraians, from before tha disaster. she's shy" no harm in sayin so, I could fix Blue Shadow up with tha truth later but Tha Thing couldn't help but correct me from stolen memories "Dryl is more of an it, really," she grinned. "Or rather, many its. It looks like a hairless she-rat," Tha Thing wearin Joah said mildly. "There are men and women and animals and vermin inside it " Blue Shadow looked up at Tha Thing "You.. where are the other three"? It glanced back at Blue. "Three?" she smiled and waved Its hand at the hearth. The flames began ta sputter as if dying, and a chitterin sound came outta tha chimney.
I looked over at tha Messenger and Raven's Song "tha ghostie is a she, whatever else she is, or what she's made of, she's a bein and she's real alone, poor critter, couldnt make it over tha River and now she's stuck her till she's ready again all life clings ta life. tha Other is a frightenin thing," as Blue Shadow snarled up at Tha Thing, "You are only one of four don't act stupid with me" Tha Messenger glanced at Blue and back up to Tha Thing, "If she still insists she's Joah.. she wont give us any answers.." I was getting more and more pissed, Tha Fire was a sacred gift, given to us through sacrifice and love, and it always burned ta offer warmth nad harmony ta all who came to sit by it. Blue knew it too and crossed her arms, "Joah wouldn't hurt the salamanders" but tha Thing only looked at Blue, grinnin. The sound in the hearth becomes louder, scuttling and clicking. The flame dies down almost too embers. To sets of eyes can be seen peeking over the logs, two tails siwshin in alarm, before there is a pop and the two salamanders vanish. Poor little buggers. "they've retreated ta their Other" I could see them go, at least they'd be out of Its reach there. The chitterin, whirrin sound was growin louder. Tha Thing looked at Blue, "You want to know where they are?" Raven's Song cursed low at tha treatment of tha Fire Salamanders and Blue Shadow, who was a practicing fire-caster, stared at the fire. I could see her gaze which was usually cold and hard was now filled with burnin hate. Her hands sparked with a few flames. "Fuck you, stop it you aint Joah. WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE YOUR SLAVES". She breathed deep controllin her temper, "Don't hurt the salamanders, this isn't how it was meant to be". I offered a prayer ta tha Sacred Flame, letting it hear my call.
That's when a stream of cockroaches poured down outta the hearth and straight toward Blue. Right about when tha Messenger asked "What do you even want?" I offered my paws to tha fireplace, and to tha cockroaches, letting tha magics flow through me. But tha Thing opened Its mouth, and more bugs streamed from outta her lips and dropped on the floor. "I want nothing...." the sound of many whispers echoes, Joah's mouth unmoving. Blue Shadow clenched her fists her eyes rolled to tha back of her head as her own fire engulfed her body in defence, "Grr tell it tell the Library to let me scorch the pests". Well, see, folks assume I control tha Library, I helped bring it ta Life, but its more like I got keys, but I don't drive tha car. It drives itself. In this instance, it didn't mind one but, and between Blue and me, we gave tha bugs something ta get hot under tha wing flaps about, and each of the cockroaches became livin fire, and got swept back into the grill, where they rekindled the logs Raven's Song gasped sharply she wasn't at all happy with tha bugs, me, I don't mind em, good scavenger food, fulla protein and crunchy too.
I did something I don't often do, I gave voice to my prayer in Fleshie terms "hear it well, oh yea of Gaia's children all life is sacred, and mark those that can call them for right or wrong, all can burn with the Sacred Fire". I looked up at Tha Thing "yeah . . . i been lookin inta you. Thing" Blue muttered somethin as tha flames moved but I had somethin else ta say to tha salamanders "stay away, little friends, for a while, till tha one who wears your Shepherds Skin is gone, and Phoenix's Child returns to us, tha Spirit Gal, in all her wonder."
Tha Thing stopped meditatin and leapt lightly to tha floor, landin in a crouch then stood quickly. Her eyes followed Blue, disregardin me. Blue looked at her cautiously, "Where are they? You know me you would if you know Joah". Tha Thing just reached out fer her "Sister," the whispers echoed. More roaches, now worms, and other creatures slithered from her mouth. Tha mouth I like ta kiss. " fuckin Godlings" then It rushed toward Blue, vermin spilling from her open mouth as she kisses her full on the lips. Blue flinched, bringin her fire back up, but all she got was a few sparks before it died due to the expendture before. She relaxed against Tha Thing, her eyes closin and the glow diein down. Tha Messenger gasped, runnin over and tryin to push Blue away from Joah. I knew what was happenin now. So I just stood by tha fire lookin at tha little flamin bugs brushin them back in with the shovel if they tried to make a run fer it.
“Messenger . . .dont, Blue knows what is comin.” I could see tha Messenger and Raven’s Song both strainin ta get in there and help, horror in their eyes, ta stop this Thing from doin what it was doin. Wasn’t till I saw tha bugs that I Knew. It all came tagether, though.
Tha bugs swarm over Blue, runnin through her hair, over her skin. Tha Thing embraced Blue like a lover, Its hand cupping her breast, her mouth seeking Blue's own. A stench of rotting carrion fills the room. I wasn’t expectin that. Blue wraped her arms around It takin what It offered, her hands roamin down Joah's back, her form dropped revealing what she truely looked like. I seen it a few times, when she slips, Blue’s Demon form suits her better, I think. I was never human, so I don’t got their prejudice about what “proper” people look like. This weren’t that ha time ta be admirin tha demon, we were bein visited by a Power. I held the fire shovel in the flames, waitin, it was getting hot, tha edge takin on a low cherry glow, and I was planning ta use that, if needs be. My two were still edgin close, wantin ta help, “Raven's Song, this wont be pretty . . . “ I said. She’s talented, but, not used tat ha horrors, yet, and I didnt want ta have her head broken by it. She kept watchein on, mouth agape and violet eyes still wide through her finge of hair. Shaking her head, she slides her gaze to Grr, her voice a hoarse, shocked, whisper..."...my strength is yours." She murmured softly.
Tha termperature in the room began ta drop noticeably, I could feel it through my fur, the smell got thicker as Tha Thing pressed into Blue, hands carressin her back, her waist, her hips. I poked at the fire, buildin it up with care. I didn’t take my eyes away from tha fire, but I was sniffin continuously and had both ears swiveled to the couple. I heard tha rip-tear of Blue’s shape-shift and heard her mutter something in a language I don’t know, sounded kinda Arabic, but, not.
Frost began to coat tha chairs and the smell of rottin meat and vomitous skankafied the air. Tha flames in the hearth begin sputtering and dying down, just a wisp of smoke coming from the embers. Beside me, tha Messenger started ta shiver. Fuckin Godlings. I squinted hard at tha fire, trying ta See if it was qushed, stilled or what and had an idea. "Messenger, in my pack, second pocket, left hand side, there is a can, get it out” Tha Little Medic crept inta tha room, and came up beside us as tha Messenger rummaged in my pack, and I could feel Raven’s Song’s energy building and slippin my way as tha Messenger hands me tha steel can. See, I was trained in breakin things. People, places, gear, infrastructure. I know how ta make things burn. I opened tha can tossed a pawfull of tha stuff inside onto tha flames. Tha Messenger is starin at me, and I hear Tha Thing in Joah take a step towards me as Tha Thing in Blue said “Do you really want to do that, hound?” That’s when tha fistful of thermite hits the fire, and burts forth in a flare of bright white light as it reaches a sustained 1200oC. I know my trade. I manage ta turn me head aside but I still winced as my fur singed at tha flash of heat, Joah’s Rider laughed at me but I get a soft hiss breaking from Blue’s Rider, the cold that emanates from her was the cold touch of Death. It would chill the bones of those who could feel it and I was still cold from Tha River. Her River. "Die fire... I tire of you". Fuck this shit. I flicked more of tha thermite in, eat hot science, godling. As tha flare hits, drivin back tha cold one burst at a time, I managed ta bark out “Fuck. Right. Off.” I could feel some of my fur catch. That’s when Joah’s Rider magiced tha can outta my paw and laughed at me. Tha hearth got cold. My fur went out. Small mercies.
I still had my eyes squinted shut, against tha sting and burn. I hear them kiss again as Death’s voice comes from Blue "Let them play their games, we have no use for them". Now I Name one, the others come forth, Pestilence said "Dogs who play with fire..." Chilled, twice burnt and defeated on my own turf I know I can’t fight them head on, but I can give them a piece of my mind so I growled at them a halting voice. Seemed I had burnt my throat too "you can leave my home now . . ." Death better get used ta it, Tox ain’t Rainbow-land not many here will be cowed by them at face value. “We are going, but I will return for you, Ferryman when the time comes” I crack an eye at that, shit. It Knows. Well, I guess It would, and I just took a bath in tha Wide River, how could It not . . . Tha Little Medic is fixin up some sort of lotion, on a cloth, lookin at me, I musta been a right mess. That’s when Pestilence tried ta stick tha boot in "You know the River...the one you love so well...." tried and hit tha mark. Bastard. “fuchhk offfghh. you khhnow nothhink of what i lovghhh” that’s all I could hear myself say, but they got my point. Bastards. All I could do was glare, still smoking, fur from my front all but gone, some skin blackend and cracked under that. I could feel tha Messenger there, and Raven’s Song. Tha Little Medic stepped up ta dab me with something cool and soothing,
The flame in tha fire continued to glow brightly, again but instead of the smell of woodsmoke, there is the smell of rats full of maggots, rotting fish, and vomit. It permeateed the flames...they started lookin and felt...wrong. Fuck. Tha Messenger asked me "What 'appened Grr? Are they both taken?" all icould do was nod, as I got lotion nabbed on me, and I started ta heal tha burns.
Tha Messenger clenched her fists and uttered a slow breath, "Damn.. it." Out in tha street I heard Pestilence speak ta Death "We are not yet whole. Our brothers have not come to the city, And the Sariel is a problem that must be dealt with." My nose was burnt bad and was bleedin from it, so I got Wire ta tend it first. I hyperventilated, then got still, and stoped breathin, trembling a bit and noded ta Wire who started ta tend my snout. Raven’s Song was feedin me healin too, which went a long was as well. "We must find the vessels" Death’s icy voice from tha street I could hear tha Messenger’s teeth grind and tha Little Medic patted me on tha back as I stood there tremblin. "R-remember to b-breath buddy." Raven’s Song asked "This has just gotten tenfold harder, hasn't it?"
Tha Little Medic keeps dabbin my nose with antiseptic then used some jelly ta sooth it. I whined at the touch, bit didn’t budge, or flinch or nothin, utterin a "uhn nuun" She gave me a bottle of sport drink ta have, and I guzzled it, that helped a lot. “i think they were ALL in Joah, now there's one less . . .” Raven’s Song catches on an idea “So, this... Toru thing... was Legion?”
Now, I tried ta get this clear in me head as I said it, and I think that it was comin tagether fer them too. “no, but i think they are goin fer Him, Her . . .It , , , next, i think thats what they were talkin about as they left. We need ta get a warnin ta Lorne, that they're Two now” my nose healed enough fer tha stink ta hit me proper then "oh, Goddess, what tha fuck is THAT?" like bein dumped head first in a market tip in Timor after a big weekend party. Tha Messenger thought we’d have been better if it stayed in her. It was in her, and jumped ta Spirit Gal, when we booted it. As much as I was tearin me up inside that it had taken MY Spirit Gal, as much as I wanted that cup ta be passed ta someone elses, I couldn’t wish it on another of my Family. I would rather kill Spirit Gal than let her be taken forever, and burn on tha Sacred Fire ta save her, but I couldn’t wish it on one of mine. Raven’s Song summed that up with “We couldn't have let that happen, Faye. You're Family... and besides that, if we had let them have you... you're the Messenger. I can't imagine how much worse things would have been. What good are you? How much of this would we have been prepared for without you? How many of us would still be standing if you weren't here to forewarn us, and lend us your help and knowledge? What good are you? You’re EVERY good.”
We all tended each others wounds, physical, mental and spiritual fer a bit, I told them about Pestilence killin Joah, and my trip to tha Wide River. Thats what it meant about "my beloved River" fuckin bastard. Tha Wide River is not somethin ta love, its somethin ta respect, if not fear. I ask them “tha Wide River . . .do ya know what that is? i'm not sure if i made that clear . . . its why they called me ferryman . . . tha old Greeks called it Styx, its somethin Lorne and me got in common, he can go back and forth, but it takes a Mortal ta be a Ferryman.” Tha Messenger shakes her head, at tha understandin, and Raven’s Song just looks at me funny "Wow... I swear, I had no idea what I'd be walking into when I stepped off that ship. The Ferryman... The River Styx. Every myth and legend I'd ever read... Wow." I kinda shrugged "part time job . . . . kinda like . . . . community service . . . . its somethin my kind has always taken a share of . . . tha Wild Hunt, tha Black Dog, Anubis, tha Hound of tha Baskervilles, its awright, Raven's Song, i ain’t no mythic figure, i just got a lot of hats, is all.” I think about that fer a bit, mullin it over in me head, and I tell them. They are Family, they need ta know, so I tell them. I told them my Name, in my own tongue “i am Praetor of Her Ladyship, Omega, tha Keeper of Eden's Soil who Burns with Sacred Fire, Her Beloved, Shaman and Four-Leg born, Coyotes Left Paw, Psychopomp and Watcher. “ I think I kinda was in shock, from tha cold, from tha fire, from witnessin all of this. Loosin Spirit Gal. Maybe that’s it, I wasn;t strong enough ta save her, and I needed ta tell myself who I was. So, in chant, I told them. “Once packless, once Pack Scout Leader, Once Pack Hunter Leader, Once Pack Hunter, AWOL and Kinslayer. Platoon Sergant 7RAR-L, 7RAR-L Special Ops- 0571, Specimen 071239 "Gabriel", Grr. i am Grr. i am. Kin. Pack. Blood.” I got real quiet and just stared at tha fire. swayin, hypnotised by the fire and nods slowly at Wire's words "Well…g-give me a c-call if y-you need me."
Raven’s Song said to us all, "I stand with you, and proudly." Then I hear, far away like, Tha Messenger sayin “Blood..GrrBrool.. I 'ave an odd request.” That snaps me out of it a bit, my name, my full name bein pronounced, even by a Fleshie throat “I... 'ave a blessing to give you.. You're kind of tall, I need to see your fore'ead. Ah.. I need.. uh.. a knife..” I crouched and both me and Raven’s Song pulled our blades, me my sturdy KA-BAR, her, a little punch dabber outta ber boob-cleavage."Um... you didn't see that." Tha Messenger takes her little one, and I sheathe my heavy. She tries ta fob it off . "Um... mines a letter opener?" She’s was never good at lying. Tha Messenger took a breath, obviously a little troubled by somethin, but cleared her throat and held the knife across her palm a moment. Then with a slight whimper sliced across it. Then she settled tha knife on the ground, dabbin her fingers in the blood. She traced a markin on my noggin, murmurin something under her breath, if it's even words. A word. An Old Word, of Power. She looked at me a moment and the mark she left, then handed the knife back to Raven’s Song. Somebody came boltin in to tha Library, and I stood up from my kneelin, a Fleshie female she blurted "Someone named Joah needs... Grr.... Omega.... or someone else to bring a vessel. Anyone named Grr.... Omega... or.... Denny?"
I just start ta see red. “i BET she does, yeah, i'm Grr, fuckin gready bastards.” She said “Grr... someone named Joah needs you” Raven’s Song asked where as tha Messenger tended her cut hand. Tha Fleshie said, still pantin “Shelter, By the hospital. With that nice girl, Britt.”
All I could think was FUCK. I didn’t even think ta run, I took out my Mirror, and went through tha Other. Thinkin “Not Strong Gal too . . . . .”
Ash and blood smeared entry, dated 23/11/2008
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I was still mud covered from bringin Joah back from tha clutches of Death. Spirit Gal was locked up by Tha Thing again, but Featherpants had yanked her off to some Other Place. I had been back in tha Library, tryin ta pick up tha pieces. I had given Shiny some PT, caught up with tha Messenger, and Raven's Song. Our Family was in trouble, and we needed ta regroup. We were missin Her Ladyship bad, but she was off on a tour. That meant tha role of command was on me. Not tha first time, but maybe tha most serious. Whilst Featherpants was off dealin with Tha Thing, and Her Ladyship away fer however long she was gunna be off, I had ta keep tha place together.
I was achin still from my burns, even though I'd gotten healin from Spirit Gal before Tha Thing took her again. More than that, I was chilled to tha marrow by Tha River. I could hear its song still in my head, it was callin me ta its flow. My tak there un-done, and tha longer task, my own journey on it, waitin fer me at tha end of my days. Nothin lives fer ever. Nothin that really lives, anyway. But in came Tha Thing that rode Joah. It jumped up tha mantle and begins meditatin, eyes roving from person to person below. Blue Shadow had come in a bit before and we had been talking about torture, how it was her thing, and I had argued it weren;t tha wolf in her that brought it out, but tha human. Wolves don't torture prey. They kill it and eat it after a chase. Harry, maybe, wound, yeah, but that aint torture, its tactics. Blue looked up at Tha Thing and grumbled, but all but ignored her fer a bit. It bothered ME though "beats me why tha Library dont object ta It, but She doesnt." I said, Messenger took a good look at It too, but It spoke at us "You mean the Old Woman in the Walls?" It smiled down at me, It looked so much like Spirit Gal's smile, but, not, tha eyes, tha eyes were wrong, I couls See It, and It knew I could. "you know who i mean." I said back ta It, I wan't in tha mood fer its games, in my home, with my Family, and our guardian spirit. Blue speaks up, a little confused. "There was this thing scampering around in here yesterday... where did it go?" I ask her if she means our spook, she blinked and looked surprised "is that what it is?" so I asked her if she was talkin about a wee ghostie.
Raven's Song was curious about it too, but Blue Shadow went on. "I don't know I never seen a ghost before... it was white and trying to hide behind things" Sounds like her ta me, Messenger agreed "I remember a spirit 'ere before. She 'ad a wand or a scepter some sort." I tried something, a touch of tactical mis-information "we think she was one of tha original Libraians, from before tha disaster. she's shy" no harm in sayin so, I could fix Blue Shadow up with tha truth later but Tha Thing couldn't help but correct me from stolen memories "Dryl is more of an it, really," she grinned. "Or rather, many its. It looks like a hairless she-rat," Tha Thing wearin Joah said mildly. "There are men and women and animals and vermin inside it " Blue Shadow looked up at Tha Thing "You.. where are the other three"? It glanced back at Blue. "Three?" she smiled and waved Its hand at the hearth. The flames began ta sputter as if dying, and a chitterin sound came outta tha chimney.
I looked over at tha Messenger and Raven's Song "tha ghostie is a she, whatever else she is, or what she's made of, she's a bein and she's real alone, poor critter, couldnt make it over tha River and now she's stuck her till she's ready again all life clings ta life. tha Other is a frightenin thing," as Blue Shadow snarled up at Tha Thing, "You are only one of four don't act stupid with me" Tha Messenger glanced at Blue and back up to Tha Thing, "If she still insists she's Joah.. she wont give us any answers.." I was getting more and more pissed, Tha Fire was a sacred gift, given to us through sacrifice and love, and it always burned ta offer warmth nad harmony ta all who came to sit by it. Blue knew it too and crossed her arms, "Joah wouldn't hurt the salamanders" but tha Thing only looked at Blue, grinnin. The sound in the hearth becomes louder, scuttling and clicking. The flame dies down almost too embers. To sets of eyes can be seen peeking over the logs, two tails siwshin in alarm, before there is a pop and the two salamanders vanish. Poor little buggers. "they've retreated ta their Other" I could see them go, at least they'd be out of Its reach there. The chitterin, whirrin sound was growin louder. Tha Thing looked at Blue, "You want to know where they are?" Raven's Song cursed low at tha treatment of tha Fire Salamanders and Blue Shadow, who was a practicing fire-caster, stared at the fire. I could see her gaze which was usually cold and hard was now filled with burnin hate. Her hands sparked with a few flames. "Fuck you, stop it you aint Joah. WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE YOUR SLAVES". She breathed deep controllin her temper, "Don't hurt the salamanders, this isn't how it was meant to be". I offered a prayer ta tha Sacred Flame, letting it hear my call.
That's when a stream of cockroaches poured down outta the hearth and straight toward Blue. Right about when tha Messenger asked "What do you even want?" I offered my paws to tha fireplace, and to tha cockroaches, letting tha magics flow through me. But tha Thing opened Its mouth, and more bugs streamed from outta her lips and dropped on the floor. "I want nothing...." the sound of many whispers echoes, Joah's mouth unmoving. Blue Shadow clenched her fists her eyes rolled to tha back of her head as her own fire engulfed her body in defence, "Grr tell it tell the Library to let me scorch the pests". Well, see, folks assume I control tha Library, I helped bring it ta Life, but its more like I got keys, but I don't drive tha car. It drives itself. In this instance, it didn't mind one but, and between Blue and me, we gave tha bugs something ta get hot under tha wing flaps about, and each of the cockroaches became livin fire, and got swept back into the grill, where they rekindled the logs Raven's Song gasped sharply she wasn't at all happy with tha bugs, me, I don't mind em, good scavenger food, fulla protein and crunchy too.
I did something I don't often do, I gave voice to my prayer in Fleshie terms "hear it well, oh yea of Gaia's children all life is sacred, and mark those that can call them for right or wrong, all can burn with the Sacred Fire". I looked up at Tha Thing "yeah . . . i been lookin inta you. Thing" Blue muttered somethin as tha flames moved but I had somethin else ta say to tha salamanders "stay away, little friends, for a while, till tha one who wears your Shepherds Skin is gone, and Phoenix's Child returns to us, tha Spirit Gal, in all her wonder."
Tha Thing stopped meditatin and leapt lightly to tha floor, landin in a crouch then stood quickly. Her eyes followed Blue, disregardin me. Blue looked at her cautiously, "Where are they? You know me you would if you know Joah". Tha Thing just reached out fer her "Sister," the whispers echoed. More roaches, now worms, and other creatures slithered from her mouth. Tha mouth I like ta kiss. " fuckin Godlings" then It rushed toward Blue, vermin spilling from her open mouth as she kisses her full on the lips. Blue flinched, bringin her fire back up, but all she got was a few sparks before it died due to the expendture before. She relaxed against Tha Thing, her eyes closin and the glow diein down. Tha Messenger gasped, runnin over and tryin to push Blue away from Joah. I knew what was happenin now. So I just stood by tha fire lookin at tha little flamin bugs brushin them back in with the shovel if they tried to make a run fer it.
“Messenger . . .dont, Blue knows what is comin.” I could see tha Messenger and Raven’s Song both strainin ta get in there and help, horror in their eyes, ta stop this Thing from doin what it was doin. Wasn’t till I saw tha bugs that I Knew. It all came tagether, though.
Tha bugs swarm over Blue, runnin through her hair, over her skin. Tha Thing embraced Blue like a lover, Its hand cupping her breast, her mouth seeking Blue's own. A stench of rotting carrion fills the room. I wasn’t expectin that. Blue wraped her arms around It takin what It offered, her hands roamin down Joah's back, her form dropped revealing what she truely looked like. I seen it a few times, when she slips, Blue’s Demon form suits her better, I think. I was never human, so I don’t got their prejudice about what “proper” people look like. This weren’t that ha time ta be admirin tha demon, we were bein visited by a Power. I held the fire shovel in the flames, waitin, it was getting hot, tha edge takin on a low cherry glow, and I was planning ta use that, if needs be. My two were still edgin close, wantin ta help, “Raven's Song, this wont be pretty . . . “ I said. She’s talented, but, not used tat ha horrors, yet, and I didnt want ta have her head broken by it. She kept watchein on, mouth agape and violet eyes still wide through her finge of hair. Shaking her head, she slides her gaze to Grr, her voice a hoarse, shocked, whisper..."...my strength is yours." She murmured softly.
Tha termperature in the room began ta drop noticeably, I could feel it through my fur, the smell got thicker as Tha Thing pressed into Blue, hands carressin her back, her waist, her hips. I poked at the fire, buildin it up with care. I didn’t take my eyes away from tha fire, but I was sniffin continuously and had both ears swiveled to the couple. I heard tha rip-tear of Blue’s shape-shift and heard her mutter something in a language I don’t know, sounded kinda Arabic, but, not.
Frost began to coat tha chairs and the smell of rottin meat and vomitous skankafied the air. Tha flames in the hearth begin sputtering and dying down, just a wisp of smoke coming from the embers. Beside me, tha Messenger started ta shiver. Fuckin Godlings. I squinted hard at tha fire, trying ta See if it was qushed, stilled or what and had an idea. "Messenger, in my pack, second pocket, left hand side, there is a can, get it out” Tha Little Medic crept inta tha room, and came up beside us as tha Messenger rummaged in my pack, and I could feel Raven’s Song’s energy building and slippin my way as tha Messenger hands me tha steel can. See, I was trained in breakin things. People, places, gear, infrastructure. I know how ta make things burn. I opened tha can tossed a pawfull of tha stuff inside onto tha flames. Tha Messenger is starin at me, and I hear Tha Thing in Joah take a step towards me as Tha Thing in Blue said “Do you really want to do that, hound?” That’s when tha fistful of thermite hits the fire, and burts forth in a flare of bright white light as it reaches a sustained 1200oC. I know my trade. I manage ta turn me head aside but I still winced as my fur singed at tha flash of heat, Joah’s Rider laughed at me but I get a soft hiss breaking from Blue’s Rider, the cold that emanates from her was the cold touch of Death. It would chill the bones of those who could feel it and I was still cold from Tha River. Her River. "Die fire... I tire of you". Fuck this shit. I flicked more of tha thermite in, eat hot science, godling. As tha flare hits, drivin back tha cold one burst at a time, I managed ta bark out “Fuck. Right. Off.” I could feel some of my fur catch. That’s when Joah’s Rider magiced tha can outta my paw and laughed at me. Tha hearth got cold. My fur went out. Small mercies.
I still had my eyes squinted shut, against tha sting and burn. I hear them kiss again as Death’s voice comes from Blue "Let them play their games, we have no use for them". Now I Name one, the others come forth, Pestilence said "Dogs who play with fire..." Chilled, twice burnt and defeated on my own turf I know I can’t fight them head on, but I can give them a piece of my mind so I growled at them a halting voice. Seemed I had burnt my throat too "you can leave my home now . . ." Death better get used ta it, Tox ain’t Rainbow-land not many here will be cowed by them at face value. “We are going, but I will return for you, Ferryman when the time comes” I crack an eye at that, shit. It Knows. Well, I guess It would, and I just took a bath in tha Wide River, how could It not . . . Tha Little Medic is fixin up some sort of lotion, on a cloth, lookin at me, I musta been a right mess. That’s when Pestilence tried ta stick tha boot in "You know the River...the one you love so well...." tried and hit tha mark. Bastard. “fuchhk offfghh. you khhnow nothhink of what i lovghhh” that’s all I could hear myself say, but they got my point. Bastards. All I could do was glare, still smoking, fur from my front all but gone, some skin blackend and cracked under that. I could feel tha Messenger there, and Raven’s Song. Tha Little Medic stepped up ta dab me with something cool and soothing,
The flame in tha fire continued to glow brightly, again but instead of the smell of woodsmoke, there is the smell of rats full of maggots, rotting fish, and vomit. It permeateed the flames...they started lookin and felt...wrong. Fuck. Tha Messenger asked me "What 'appened Grr? Are they both taken?" all icould do was nod, as I got lotion nabbed on me, and I started ta heal tha burns.
Tha Messenger clenched her fists and uttered a slow breath, "Damn.. it." Out in tha street I heard Pestilence speak ta Death "We are not yet whole. Our brothers have not come to the city, And the Sariel is a problem that must be dealt with." My nose was burnt bad and was bleedin from it, so I got Wire ta tend it first. I hyperventilated, then got still, and stoped breathin, trembling a bit and noded ta Wire who started ta tend my snout. Raven’s Song was feedin me healin too, which went a long was as well. "We must find the vessels" Death’s icy voice from tha street I could hear tha Messenger’s teeth grind and tha Little Medic patted me on tha back as I stood there tremblin. "R-remember to b-breath buddy." Raven’s Song asked "This has just gotten tenfold harder, hasn't it?"
Tha Little Medic keeps dabbin my nose with antiseptic then used some jelly ta sooth it. I whined at the touch, bit didn’t budge, or flinch or nothin, utterin a "uhn nuun" She gave me a bottle of sport drink ta have, and I guzzled it, that helped a lot. “i think they were ALL in Joah, now there's one less . . .” Raven’s Song catches on an idea “So, this... Toru thing... was Legion?”
Now, I tried ta get this clear in me head as I said it, and I think that it was comin tagether fer them too. “no, but i think they are goin fer Him, Her . . .It , , , next, i think thats what they were talkin about as they left. We need ta get a warnin ta Lorne, that they're Two now” my nose healed enough fer tha stink ta hit me proper then "oh, Goddess, what tha fuck is THAT?" like bein dumped head first in a market tip in Timor after a big weekend party. Tha Messenger thought we’d have been better if it stayed in her. It was in her, and jumped ta Spirit Gal, when we booted it. As much as I was tearin me up inside that it had taken MY Spirit Gal, as much as I wanted that cup ta be passed ta someone elses, I couldn’t wish it on another of my Family. I would rather kill Spirit Gal than let her be taken forever, and burn on tha Sacred Fire ta save her, but I couldn’t wish it on one of mine. Raven’s Song summed that up with “We couldn't have let that happen, Faye. You're Family... and besides that, if we had let them have you... you're the Messenger. I can't imagine how much worse things would have been. What good are you? How much of this would we have been prepared for without you? How many of us would still be standing if you weren't here to forewarn us, and lend us your help and knowledge? What good are you? You’re EVERY good.”
We all tended each others wounds, physical, mental and spiritual fer a bit, I told them about Pestilence killin Joah, and my trip to tha Wide River. Thats what it meant about "my beloved River" fuckin bastard. Tha Wide River is not somethin ta love, its somethin ta respect, if not fear. I ask them “tha Wide River . . .do ya know what that is? i'm not sure if i made that clear . . . its why they called me ferryman . . . tha old Greeks called it Styx, its somethin Lorne and me got in common, he can go back and forth, but it takes a Mortal ta be a Ferryman.” Tha Messenger shakes her head, at tha understandin, and Raven’s Song just looks at me funny "Wow... I swear, I had no idea what I'd be walking into when I stepped off that ship. The Ferryman... The River Styx. Every myth and legend I'd ever read... Wow." I kinda shrugged "part time job . . . . kinda like . . . . community service . . . . its somethin my kind has always taken a share of . . . tha Wild Hunt, tha Black Dog, Anubis, tha Hound of tha Baskervilles, its awright, Raven's Song, i ain’t no mythic figure, i just got a lot of hats, is all.” I think about that fer a bit, mullin it over in me head, and I tell them. They are Family, they need ta know, so I tell them. I told them my Name, in my own tongue “i am Praetor of Her Ladyship, Omega, tha Keeper of Eden's Soil who Burns with Sacred Fire, Her Beloved, Shaman and Four-Leg born, Coyotes Left Paw, Psychopomp and Watcher. “ I think I kinda was in shock, from tha cold, from tha fire, from witnessin all of this. Loosin Spirit Gal. Maybe that’s it, I wasn;t strong enough ta save her, and I needed ta tell myself who I was. So, in chant, I told them. “Once packless, once Pack Scout Leader, Once Pack Hunter Leader, Once Pack Hunter, AWOL and Kinslayer. Platoon Sergant 7RAR-L, 7RAR-L Special Ops- 0571, Specimen 071239 "Gabriel", Grr. i am Grr. i am. Kin. Pack. Blood.” I got real quiet and just stared at tha fire. swayin, hypnotised by the fire and nods slowly at Wire's words "Well…g-give me a c-call if y-you need me."
Raven’s Song said to us all, "I stand with you, and proudly." Then I hear, far away like, Tha Messenger sayin “Blood..GrrBrool.. I 'ave an odd request.” That snaps me out of it a bit, my name, my full name bein pronounced, even by a Fleshie throat “I... 'ave a blessing to give you.. You're kind of tall, I need to see your fore'ead. Ah.. I need.. uh.. a knife..” I crouched and both me and Raven’s Song pulled our blades, me my sturdy KA-BAR, her, a little punch dabber outta ber boob-cleavage."Um... you didn't see that." Tha Messenger takes her little one, and I sheathe my heavy. She tries ta fob it off . "Um... mines a letter opener?" She’s was never good at lying. Tha Messenger took a breath, obviously a little troubled by somethin, but cleared her throat and held the knife across her palm a moment. Then with a slight whimper sliced across it. Then she settled tha knife on the ground, dabbin her fingers in the blood. She traced a markin on my noggin, murmurin something under her breath, if it's even words. A word. An Old Word, of Power. She looked at me a moment and the mark she left, then handed the knife back to Raven’s Song. Somebody came boltin in to tha Library, and I stood up from my kneelin, a Fleshie female she blurted "Someone named Joah needs... Grr.... Omega.... or someone else to bring a vessel. Anyone named Grr.... Omega... or.... Denny?"
I just start ta see red. “i BET she does, yeah, i'm Grr, fuckin gready bastards.” She said “Grr... someone named Joah needs you” Raven’s Song asked where as tha Messenger tended her cut hand. Tha Fleshie said, still pantin “Shelter, By the hospital. With that nice girl, Britt.”
All I could think was FUCK. I didn’t even think ta run, I took out my Mirror, and went through tha Other. Thinkin “Not Strong Gal too . . . . .”
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Killing Joah
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Dark mud smeared pencil note, dated 23/11/2008
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Tracked Spirit Gal's scent to the crane by tha Factory, and up I went, along tha rail line, as saw her sittin on the ledge. A looked at her, and tha Thing glanced up. “well, lookit there . . . far away from tha rest of tha meat?” The Thing said “The meat? I suppose you could call it that....” It just makes me so mad, this bastard, stole my Spirit Gal, wanderin around in her. So I say to it“what i dont get is if yer so old and poowerful, why take a meat body anyway? just make one meat is . . . just meat, after all” The Thing don’t much like that “That is what you think of this one? Just meat? You hurt it, you know.” Bastard. I tried ta get It ta stop gouging tha mind of Raven’s Song, I asked Tha Library ta smack her about a bit. It stopped. “i know i did got yer attention though, didn't i?” Bastard Thing told me “It's shoulder is dislocated. She hurts. I do not.” Not good. So I vaulted over tha rail from tha tracks ta tha crane and told It ta give me her arm, she don’t resist. just looked up at me. I tenderly took her arm, and feels up from the elbow to the shoulder, and closed my eyes, manipulating it. I didn’t dare open myself up ta heal it, in case it came back up tha link ta me, but I still got my trainin, and as tha Govenator said I got “detailed files” on Fleshie anatomy. “and ya know what? ta set her free?” Joah’s body winced in pain as I worked. "What?" It asked. “i'll kill her ta free her from you, if i have to” I opened my eyes and looked as her as I reset tha shoulder with a jerk.
“she may not thank me, they usually don’t but she'd be free. Free” Joah's body grits her teeth. "You think that matters?" it hisses at me, but I know what I’m dealin with by now, I think, “i dont think you have a concept ta compare it ta” The Thing reaches one hand out to the metal bar beside her. She touches it and ice coats it making it brittle. With a snap she tears it off. "You are mistaken, dog. I've watched you before the world." Tha arrogance of these Godlings, that before they were befer so much, they are beyond us, or better than us. It shits me “then ya watched dumb” I said ta It.
Tha Thing disagrees, of course it would "No. I watched with eyes wide open. Ears hearing." Joah takes the broken bar in her hand. "Each of your steps from the primoridal ooze to legs and paws and claws." She raises the bar studying it. “yer a second rate Laybrinth, and ya stole from me, and mine, least tha Huntress offered herself . . . . tha shoulder will be stiff, mind ya work inta full rotation . . . I turn away from It, and started ta climb down. The Thing called after me "I offer no one anything. I am without form." Joah raised tha bar and plunged it inta her chest, heaving Her body shuddered as it was impaled. "Waste. Void." Blood begins to form at her mouth. "See what I do to the body you care so little for, dog."
I screamed at it, and ran back up tha steps as her body began ta slump. The whispers came through her mouth didn't move. "You said you'd kill it. Let me save you the trouble." At some stage I think I tore a toe claw off, but I didn’t notice till after. I just snatched her up, held her tight and jumped off tha crane, inta tha deep water of tha port, into the water, to tha Wide River. In tha eternity between ledge and water-strike I watched the light in Joah's eyes begin ta fade. I called out with all my bein fer tha one I knew could make it there ta help me. Who would hear tha call and feel Spirit Gal’s need as I did. At tha moment we woulda hit tha water, tha oppressive heat and humidity of tha Dark Jungle slamed into us as I trudged down tha backs inta tha to Wide River. “welcome to Death” Her eyes were wide and starin, barely a flicker of life let in them. Blood streamed down her chest from tha wound. The whispers said, "If that is what you wish for her, Coyote. She won't return. The body will be .... destroyed." They echo in many voices.
Fuckin bastard would lie and cheat me of my Spirit Gal, rule one, never believe tha kidnapper with a gun to his own head. I waded in ta tha River lettin the icy dark water wash over, stingin cold in the jungles heat. Tha Thing lay limp in my arms, the voices laughed at me, those Nail-their-God-to-a-Stick folks would call it a Baptisp. I call is a Sacred Rebirth. All birth comes with pain. He heard my Call, and into tha River decended Denethorn, in true Feather Grace. I looked up at my looked up at him, eyes glazing, fur slick with blood and sweat "now!" He heard tha Call, but I guess I need ta work on content “"FB, what is going on and where am I?" he asked curiously, he was looking about, kinda like he knew, but not sure “yer in tha Wide River, Angel-Brother. Death is here.” The Thing: in a rush of whispers that filled tha silent air, "The dog wished this body to die." Joah's lips didn’t move. "He brought it here. To the river of death." Tha laughter seemed ta come up from indise me, and I didn’t like it, not one bit.
“but Death stops here, From here, nothing dies.” I lifted Joah’s body in the water “Death is my ally, here” My Angel-Brother blinked and mutters and does his best to not cry out and speak calmly "I... I am assuming the Tohu has injured, Lady Grace..."
i turned and showed tha iron bar rammed inta Joah's chest “ya could say that”
her eyes flickered as if the light is going out of them. Blood washed from her clothes, spilled from her lips inta that cold, dark water. Featherpants sighed and grumbled "How may I help?" he remains strangely calm, I guess all them years has gotten him use to this... “It tried ta hurt me by hurtin Joah, cause i told it i'd kill her ta free her. Fuckin Ancient Spirits, so much power, so little BALLS. . . . hold her?” and i offered her still body like a precious flower to him. The Thing whispered at us "I have dwelt ever in realms apart from the visible world," the voices lilt. He nodded, and took her from me "I see... Sure..." and he held his hands out to hold the beauty he calls Lady Grace and I Name Spirit Gal, we pass her, passed from one of her lovers to another, from one Brother to another.
“then ya shoulda know better than ta come ta where we can bind ya” I say ta it as her blood swirls in the cold darkness. Here’s a hint. NEVER look under tha waters of tha Wide River, unless ya don’t value yer mind. The voices whisper and the wind rushes. "The River s more ancient than the mountains, and freighted with the memories and the dreams of Time. I am beyond both." Featherpants gives its yammerin a yawn "Stupid fool does not even know I am prince of a forgotten kingdom long dead, I have dwealt in other worlds too..." I take a grip of tha bar in her chest, the icy water numbing and slowing her flesh and mine. The Thing just keeps at it whilst I do my Work. "Life is a hideous thing," the voices laugh. "You didn't want the body. I will take it" I hate It. I hate what It has done, tha contempt It has shown its vessel, my Spirit Gal. There is a covenant between spirit and flesh, and this has been flaunted. Featherpants is getting cranky now and grumbled "Look, stupid, I want the woman and the body back, stop pissing me off and shut yer trap, otherwise I'll shut it fer ya" he growls "And dn't think I can't" which is good, cause now I’m ready.
“before, maybe, but yer in tha River now, you have no idea, Old Spirit , what i sacrifice, for her. you couldn’t. you took her Fire and in this water, i give it BACK” Tha Thing gets one more shot off "Only the silent can tell all that has lain hidden," its whispers mocked. So I played my hand. I reached inta tha water, and fished in my cargo pockets for tha leather bag I had given tha Messenger. She had showed me her lucky coin, and told me she used ta make more fer her master, when she was in a cage. She’d been kind enough ta make two fer me, she knew I aint interested in wealth, and could see that it was a sacred thing fer me. So she did. Two coins fer tha River Crossing. I opened tha bag and took out tha two doubloons. “see these? Tha Messenger made em for me, know what they're for?” my Feathered Brother nodded.
My paw started ta steam and smoke as I held tha coins, I could feel tha burn, and tha tingle of tha Other Side callin. The Thing gurgled. It suddenly KNEW. Maybe Featherpants didn’t but I told themn both, ta make sure It knew. Intent is all. He blinked and told me ta be careful. But I was well past bein fuckin careful. “it burns me. its tha sacred fire of tha sun, given shape and form” I put both coins in one paw and made a fist, tha pain was searin, like a blowtorch, I could hear my paw burnin, seein flames lick between my knuckles. “I see” my Brither said, takin it in. Smoke and steam rose up from me and again, It spoke at us "cold, humorous stars only the dying sun and the pale mournful planets," the voices whisper. Featherpants snarled at it "I SAID... SHUT... UP!!!" I reached out with my other paw and griped the bar. “tha sacred source of life, tha all fire, tha light that drove tha emptiness away.
I yanked tha bar out, I could hear tha wet slurpin sound of it as it came free, runnin over ribs and back outta her meat and lungs, its smooth sides slipping cleanly from the wound and I tossed it like a dart inta tha banks of tha River. The voices lilt in a mirthful laugh. "Prying the bar means death....." Joah's body went right slack. My time was up. I pressed one coin against the wound with my burnin paw and growled out at It. “Nothing. Dies. Here. Death. Stops. Here.” Then I did something I’d have cursed ya out for a fuckin nong if ya would tell me I’d have ever done. I put tha other coin in my mouth. Featherpants smirked and whispered to It"You are wrong also in the aspect that death means nothing to us..." and she convulsed in tha water. My mouth. Oh Goddess, my mouth, it burnt, steam and fire in my mouth, in my lungs, comin outta my nose, as I felt Fetherpants pumpin power inta me from On High. I stopped bein able ta see and moved in close ta find Joah’s face. There was a pop, and I felt fire spillin outta my lips. I know I was makin noises, but all I could think of was ta kick that bastart out of my Spirit Gal.
I bent over, and kissed her, letting tha fire breathe outta me, and inta her. Sacred Flame. Sacred Kiss. Fire of Life. Kiss of Life. Between tha fuck-off pain, tha icy sting of tha River, I barely felt tha tingle of tha Other Side no more, but I knew it was there, callin me, and something else, like shadows beginin ta gather around us. At first, furtive little ones, then bolder ones in dark clouds. I could see bright red through my clenched eyes, goin ta white as Featherpants Came Forth. But then something odd happened, I felt tha River pull away from me, I didn’t move, but tha weight pulled away from my belly, my legs. Tha River was trying to get away from Life as I burned inside and out. Over my own sounds, I geard as gasp, and felt her body move. I felt tha shadows give way, and move off. I heard tha sizzle and pop of me, burnin and tha low lap of tha River, holdin back.
Spirit Gal’s voice. I heard her voice, from so far away. "Grr? D-d-denenthorn?" she was stammerin in a breathy whisper. I opened my eyes and saw, though my tears, that she was lookin up at him, from tha waters where he held her, she looked at me, and tha River washed back over me. I guess I kinds slumped inta it, spittin out that fuckin coin, which was still burnin, musta had parts of me stuck ta it. It hit tha water and boiled on tha way down fer just a second. My muzzle went under, and I heard tha Other Side callin, callin strong. Oh, Goddess, tha fear of that. I got too much ta do, I cant Cross, I owe, I owe big, and I gotta pay off my debt, like in tha deal. I coughed as that icy blackness put tha fires in me out, spultterin and in desperate panic, I scrambled up through the mud up the bank curled up into a ball, shuddering, almost out of my mind in pain, fear and grief. I know that now.
In tha Faraway I heard Featherpants sayin “Name, rank, and smethin about you no one else would know?" and Spirit Gal’s voice askin "What happened?" there was a pause, and th heat of tha Dark Jungle soaked back inta me, burnin in a different way ta tha coins did. "Nothin much, my brother just almost killed himelf to save yer ass..." I heard him yawn. And Spirit Gal, clear as a bell across a valley"Is he alright?" she asks with worry. The wind begins to stir. That was odd. Ain’t no wind by tha River, nor in tha Dark Jungle. But at tha time, all I could do was lift my head, and then I saw it, Tha Wide River. Waitin. I was sprawled on tha back, face down in tha mud and when I looked at tha River I just kicked up and away from it, whimperin and whining.
Featherpants snarled I don’t know who to "He better be, otherwise I'm gonna hunt Tohu va Bahu and utterly destroy his soul and send it to Lucifer..." musta been ta Spirit Gal, I hear her too, I try to dig a foxhole in tha mud. Everythin’s better when yer in yer hole. They can’t see ya when yer in yer hole. Tha shrapnel will miss you when yer in yer hole. Sometimes. "Take me to him...please," Joah begged. I hear their feet as they crunch and mush over to me, someone knelt next ta me and I felt a hand "Come on, FB, it's ok you did wonderful..." I looked up, saw their faces as I lay there, lookin down at me and it all came rushin back. THa firefight at tha Firebase, tha Felines comin over tha barricades, and heard tha whine, tha shrill wine of tha shell that took me here tha first time. I bet my eyes just rolled wildly from face ta face and then back at tha River, I could see my feet, pushin away from it and started clutchin my belly and chest. Tha burnin, tha burnin inside me.
I heard Spirit Gal kneelin by me too, leanin over me. The wind roared loud, the trees bent in tha wind. No wind in tha Dark Jungle, no wind by tha Wide River, it’s a still, still place. "My brother you are ok, you sacrifice much and now tat sacrifice is over and Joah is here to protect you as am I..." I opened my muzzle ta warn him, ta warn her, but I was burt too bad, all I could do was ta make a keein noise, cracked and raw and just cry, runnin paws over my old wounds and stare at tha River. Featherpants stood up, tha mud not stickin ta him and he looked down at us both and sighed as he grabbed his cane outta no-where and just guardin, like we was his most precious treasures. Spirit Gal was cryin, and holdin me. I like her eyes. She’s got nice eyes, and she always smelt good. Like fresh dress uniform. I wished I coulda smelt her then, but all I could smell was burnt me and mud. The wind began ta howl, her hair whips back, the trees bend low ta the ground.
Its time, I just wanted ta be away. I tried ta close my eyes but when I did, tha Dark comin fer her was there, waitin in my Other Sight, and that was scarier than seein tha River. Just. So I panted, clutchin my belly and Spirit Gal holds me tight, and I feel her fer tha first time, she was pourin herself inta me, takin my burns, takin it inta her. I reatched up, and clung ta her, and grabbed at Featherpant’s leg, holdin them both like I was drownin. I guess I was. A roarin sound is heard as waves from the River pounded into tha shore. "I want it back!" I guess I healed enough ta croak out “Spirit Gal . . .i love you . . .i'll always come for you, Always” as I looked from tha faces of my Brother and Sister-Lover. She looked up inconfusion and pain. "I...beloved...." She twisted her mouth, her face grimaced in pain and her lips sealed tight. It was back, so I told it, lookin from tha River to It "and that . . . that you will never know, will you?" Tha Thing convulsed as the wind howls. "She is MINE," voices say in a rush of whispers. “no, she aint. theft dont make ownership. she is HERS” I pushed myself up ta all fours in tha mud. The Thing stood, lookin from Featherpants ta me. Tha look of worry and concern on her face is off, it aint right. She laughs silently at me, unable to speak.
Featherpants lets go of his own shell as his eyes rolls into the back of his head and a strong boomin voice came outta nowhere and everywhere "Abomination!" it screams "I cal thee forth, it is time to BOW DOWN!" I couldn’t take all this, I go down inta tha mud again. He booms at It "Come out, Tohu, face a King!" as I crawl away, back ta my foxhole scratchin. The Thing turned and followed me nudged me with the toe of her boot, the reared back her foot and kicked me in tha ribs. Bastard. Tha winds seem ta pick up as a storm darker than night came forth and surrounds my Brother. The Thing looked at the sky. I grabbed at Its foot, and yankin it ta topple It, never get inta a mud fight with a jungle fighter but Featherpants trumps me "Away from HIM!" and throws up his hand, castin fuckin Lightning and aiming at Joah' body, seeming to miss by inches as his eyes flick ta me holdin her.
I go back down as tha static gives me a zap but Tha Thing just stands still, grinnin at me. She turned back toward Featherpants and smiled. His True Form, tha Darkstorm spoke "You're fucking with the wrong woman, YOUNG spirit" he held out his hand and growled "Remove you slimy paws from my Kryptonite, Tohu..."I looked up from the mud as Tha Thing stretched her arms out and smiled. The Darkstorm grabbed It by the arm "perhaps it is time for you to enter my nightmare..." The Thing whiped her head around, realisin it was in tha shit now. He looked down me as they began ta fade away, dematerializin into nothing and he whisperd "Allow chaos to handle this, rest and stay away, you will not be able to help her nor I..." I just nodded and pushe myself deeper into my muddy hole.
Even this, fer all tha risk. Fer all tha cost, was worth it, if fer nothing else, It knows what we’re willin ta do ta get her back.
Failin that. I told her.
Dark mud smeared pencil note, dated 23/11/2008
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Tracked Spirit Gal's scent to the crane by tha Factory, and up I went, along tha rail line, as saw her sittin on the ledge. A looked at her, and tha Thing glanced up. “well, lookit there . . . far away from tha rest of tha meat?” The Thing said “The meat? I suppose you could call it that....” It just makes me so mad, this bastard, stole my Spirit Gal, wanderin around in her. So I say to it“what i dont get is if yer so old and poowerful, why take a meat body anyway? just make one meat is . . . just meat, after all” The Thing don’t much like that “That is what you think of this one? Just meat? You hurt it, you know.” Bastard. I tried ta get It ta stop gouging tha mind of Raven’s Song, I asked Tha Library ta smack her about a bit. It stopped. “i know i did got yer attention though, didn't i?” Bastard Thing told me “It's shoulder is dislocated. She hurts. I do not.” Not good. So I vaulted over tha rail from tha tracks ta tha crane and told It ta give me her arm, she don’t resist. just looked up at me. I tenderly took her arm, and feels up from the elbow to the shoulder, and closed my eyes, manipulating it. I didn’t dare open myself up ta heal it, in case it came back up tha link ta me, but I still got my trainin, and as tha Govenator said I got “detailed files” on Fleshie anatomy. “and ya know what? ta set her free?” Joah’s body winced in pain as I worked. "What?" It asked. “i'll kill her ta free her from you, if i have to” I opened my eyes and looked as her as I reset tha shoulder with a jerk.
“she may not thank me, they usually don’t but she'd be free. Free” Joah's body grits her teeth. "You think that matters?" it hisses at me, but I know what I’m dealin with by now, I think, “i dont think you have a concept ta compare it ta” The Thing reaches one hand out to the metal bar beside her. She touches it and ice coats it making it brittle. With a snap she tears it off. "You are mistaken, dog. I've watched you before the world." Tha arrogance of these Godlings, that before they were befer so much, they are beyond us, or better than us. It shits me “then ya watched dumb” I said ta It.
Tha Thing disagrees, of course it would "No. I watched with eyes wide open. Ears hearing." Joah takes the broken bar in her hand. "Each of your steps from the primoridal ooze to legs and paws and claws." She raises the bar studying it. “yer a second rate Laybrinth, and ya stole from me, and mine, least tha Huntress offered herself . . . . tha shoulder will be stiff, mind ya work inta full rotation . . . I turn away from It, and started ta climb down. The Thing called after me "I offer no one anything. I am without form." Joah raised tha bar and plunged it inta her chest, heaving Her body shuddered as it was impaled. "Waste. Void." Blood begins to form at her mouth. "See what I do to the body you care so little for, dog."
I screamed at it, and ran back up tha steps as her body began ta slump. The whispers came through her mouth didn't move. "You said you'd kill it. Let me save you the trouble." At some stage I think I tore a toe claw off, but I didn’t notice till after. I just snatched her up, held her tight and jumped off tha crane, inta tha deep water of tha port, into the water, to tha Wide River. In tha eternity between ledge and water-strike I watched the light in Joah's eyes begin ta fade. I called out with all my bein fer tha one I knew could make it there ta help me. Who would hear tha call and feel Spirit Gal’s need as I did. At tha moment we woulda hit tha water, tha oppressive heat and humidity of tha Dark Jungle slamed into us as I trudged down tha backs inta tha to Wide River. “welcome to Death” Her eyes were wide and starin, barely a flicker of life let in them. Blood streamed down her chest from tha wound. The whispers said, "If that is what you wish for her, Coyote. She won't return. The body will be .... destroyed." They echo in many voices.
Fuckin bastard would lie and cheat me of my Spirit Gal, rule one, never believe tha kidnapper with a gun to his own head. I waded in ta tha River lettin the icy dark water wash over, stingin cold in the jungles heat. Tha Thing lay limp in my arms, the voices laughed at me, those Nail-their-God-to-a-Stick folks would call it a Baptisp. I call is a Sacred Rebirth. All birth comes with pain. He heard my Call, and into tha River decended Denethorn, in true Feather Grace. I looked up at my looked up at him, eyes glazing, fur slick with blood and sweat "now!" He heard tha Call, but I guess I need ta work on content “"FB, what is going on and where am I?" he asked curiously, he was looking about, kinda like he knew, but not sure “yer in tha Wide River, Angel-Brother. Death is here.” The Thing: in a rush of whispers that filled tha silent air, "The dog wished this body to die." Joah's lips didn’t move. "He brought it here. To the river of death." Tha laughter seemed ta come up from indise me, and I didn’t like it, not one bit.
“but Death stops here, From here, nothing dies.” I lifted Joah’s body in the water “Death is my ally, here” My Angel-Brother blinked and mutters and does his best to not cry out and speak calmly "I... I am assuming the Tohu has injured, Lady Grace..."
i turned and showed tha iron bar rammed inta Joah's chest “ya could say that”
her eyes flickered as if the light is going out of them. Blood washed from her clothes, spilled from her lips inta that cold, dark water. Featherpants sighed and grumbled "How may I help?" he remains strangely calm, I guess all them years has gotten him use to this... “It tried ta hurt me by hurtin Joah, cause i told it i'd kill her ta free her. Fuckin Ancient Spirits, so much power, so little BALLS. . . . hold her?” and i offered her still body like a precious flower to him. The Thing whispered at us "I have dwelt ever in realms apart from the visible world," the voices lilt. He nodded, and took her from me "I see... Sure..." and he held his hands out to hold the beauty he calls Lady Grace and I Name Spirit Gal, we pass her, passed from one of her lovers to another, from one Brother to another.
“then ya shoulda know better than ta come ta where we can bind ya” I say ta it as her blood swirls in the cold darkness. Here’s a hint. NEVER look under tha waters of tha Wide River, unless ya don’t value yer mind. The voices whisper and the wind rushes. "The River s more ancient than the mountains, and freighted with the memories and the dreams of Time. I am beyond both." Featherpants gives its yammerin a yawn "Stupid fool does not even know I am prince of a forgotten kingdom long dead, I have dwealt in other worlds too..." I take a grip of tha bar in her chest, the icy water numbing and slowing her flesh and mine. The Thing just keeps at it whilst I do my Work. "Life is a hideous thing," the voices laugh. "You didn't want the body. I will take it" I hate It. I hate what It has done, tha contempt It has shown its vessel, my Spirit Gal. There is a covenant between spirit and flesh, and this has been flaunted. Featherpants is getting cranky now and grumbled "Look, stupid, I want the woman and the body back, stop pissing me off and shut yer trap, otherwise I'll shut it fer ya" he growls "And dn't think I can't" which is good, cause now I’m ready.
“before, maybe, but yer in tha River now, you have no idea, Old Spirit , what i sacrifice, for her. you couldn’t. you took her Fire and in this water, i give it BACK” Tha Thing gets one more shot off "Only the silent can tell all that has lain hidden," its whispers mocked. So I played my hand. I reached inta tha water, and fished in my cargo pockets for tha leather bag I had given tha Messenger. She had showed me her lucky coin, and told me she used ta make more fer her master, when she was in a cage. She’d been kind enough ta make two fer me, she knew I aint interested in wealth, and could see that it was a sacred thing fer me. So she did. Two coins fer tha River Crossing. I opened tha bag and took out tha two doubloons. “see these? Tha Messenger made em for me, know what they're for?” my Feathered Brother nodded.
My paw started ta steam and smoke as I held tha coins, I could feel tha burn, and tha tingle of tha Other Side callin. The Thing gurgled. It suddenly KNEW. Maybe Featherpants didn’t but I told themn both, ta make sure It knew. Intent is all. He blinked and told me ta be careful. But I was well past bein fuckin careful. “it burns me. its tha sacred fire of tha sun, given shape and form” I put both coins in one paw and made a fist, tha pain was searin, like a blowtorch, I could hear my paw burnin, seein flames lick between my knuckles. “I see” my Brither said, takin it in. Smoke and steam rose up from me and again, It spoke at us "cold, humorous stars only the dying sun and the pale mournful planets," the voices whisper. Featherpants snarled at it "I SAID... SHUT... UP!!!" I reached out with my other paw and griped the bar. “tha sacred source of life, tha all fire, tha light that drove tha emptiness away.
I yanked tha bar out, I could hear tha wet slurpin sound of it as it came free, runnin over ribs and back outta her meat and lungs, its smooth sides slipping cleanly from the wound and I tossed it like a dart inta tha banks of tha River. The voices lilt in a mirthful laugh. "Prying the bar means death....." Joah's body went right slack. My time was up. I pressed one coin against the wound with my burnin paw and growled out at It. “Nothing. Dies. Here. Death. Stops. Here.” Then I did something I’d have cursed ya out for a fuckin nong if ya would tell me I’d have ever done. I put tha other coin in my mouth. Featherpants smirked and whispered to It"You are wrong also in the aspect that death means nothing to us..." and she convulsed in tha water. My mouth. Oh Goddess, my mouth, it burnt, steam and fire in my mouth, in my lungs, comin outta my nose, as I felt Fetherpants pumpin power inta me from On High. I stopped bein able ta see and moved in close ta find Joah’s face. There was a pop, and I felt fire spillin outta my lips. I know I was makin noises, but all I could think of was ta kick that bastart out of my Spirit Gal.
I bent over, and kissed her, letting tha fire breathe outta me, and inta her. Sacred Flame. Sacred Kiss. Fire of Life. Kiss of Life. Between tha fuck-off pain, tha icy sting of tha River, I barely felt tha tingle of tha Other Side no more, but I knew it was there, callin me, and something else, like shadows beginin ta gather around us. At first, furtive little ones, then bolder ones in dark clouds. I could see bright red through my clenched eyes, goin ta white as Featherpants Came Forth. But then something odd happened, I felt tha River pull away from me, I didn’t move, but tha weight pulled away from my belly, my legs. Tha River was trying to get away from Life as I burned inside and out. Over my own sounds, I geard as gasp, and felt her body move. I felt tha shadows give way, and move off. I heard tha sizzle and pop of me, burnin and tha low lap of tha River, holdin back.
Spirit Gal’s voice. I heard her voice, from so far away. "Grr? D-d-denenthorn?" she was stammerin in a breathy whisper. I opened my eyes and saw, though my tears, that she was lookin up at him, from tha waters where he held her, she looked at me, and tha River washed back over me. I guess I kinds slumped inta it, spittin out that fuckin coin, which was still burnin, musta had parts of me stuck ta it. It hit tha water and boiled on tha way down fer just a second. My muzzle went under, and I heard tha Other Side callin, callin strong. Oh, Goddess, tha fear of that. I got too much ta do, I cant Cross, I owe, I owe big, and I gotta pay off my debt, like in tha deal. I coughed as that icy blackness put tha fires in me out, spultterin and in desperate panic, I scrambled up through the mud up the bank curled up into a ball, shuddering, almost out of my mind in pain, fear and grief. I know that now.
In tha Faraway I heard Featherpants sayin “Name, rank, and smethin about you no one else would know?" and Spirit Gal’s voice askin "What happened?" there was a pause, and th heat of tha Dark Jungle soaked back inta me, burnin in a different way ta tha coins did. "Nothin much, my brother just almost killed himelf to save yer ass..." I heard him yawn. And Spirit Gal, clear as a bell across a valley"Is he alright?" she asks with worry. The wind begins to stir. That was odd. Ain’t no wind by tha River, nor in tha Dark Jungle. But at tha time, all I could do was lift my head, and then I saw it, Tha Wide River. Waitin. I was sprawled on tha back, face down in tha mud and when I looked at tha River I just kicked up and away from it, whimperin and whining.
Featherpants snarled I don’t know who to "He better be, otherwise I'm gonna hunt Tohu va Bahu and utterly destroy his soul and send it to Lucifer..." musta been ta Spirit Gal, I hear her too, I try to dig a foxhole in tha mud. Everythin’s better when yer in yer hole. They can’t see ya when yer in yer hole. Tha shrapnel will miss you when yer in yer hole. Sometimes. "Take me to him...please," Joah begged. I hear their feet as they crunch and mush over to me, someone knelt next ta me and I felt a hand "Come on, FB, it's ok you did wonderful..." I looked up, saw their faces as I lay there, lookin down at me and it all came rushin back. THa firefight at tha Firebase, tha Felines comin over tha barricades, and heard tha whine, tha shrill wine of tha shell that took me here tha first time. I bet my eyes just rolled wildly from face ta face and then back at tha River, I could see my feet, pushin away from it and started clutchin my belly and chest. Tha burnin, tha burnin inside me.
I heard Spirit Gal kneelin by me too, leanin over me. The wind roared loud, the trees bent in tha wind. No wind in tha Dark Jungle, no wind by tha Wide River, it’s a still, still place. "My brother you are ok, you sacrifice much and now tat sacrifice is over and Joah is here to protect you as am I..." I opened my muzzle ta warn him, ta warn her, but I was burt too bad, all I could do was ta make a keein noise, cracked and raw and just cry, runnin paws over my old wounds and stare at tha River. Featherpants stood up, tha mud not stickin ta him and he looked down at us both and sighed as he grabbed his cane outta no-where and just guardin, like we was his most precious treasures. Spirit Gal was cryin, and holdin me. I like her eyes. She’s got nice eyes, and she always smelt good. Like fresh dress uniform. I wished I coulda smelt her then, but all I could smell was burnt me and mud. The wind began ta howl, her hair whips back, the trees bend low ta the ground.
Its time, I just wanted ta be away. I tried ta close my eyes but when I did, tha Dark comin fer her was there, waitin in my Other Sight, and that was scarier than seein tha River. Just. So I panted, clutchin my belly and Spirit Gal holds me tight, and I feel her fer tha first time, she was pourin herself inta me, takin my burns, takin it inta her. I reatched up, and clung ta her, and grabbed at Featherpant’s leg, holdin them both like I was drownin. I guess I was. A roarin sound is heard as waves from the River pounded into tha shore. "I want it back!" I guess I healed enough ta croak out “Spirit Gal . . .i love you . . .i'll always come for you, Always” as I looked from tha faces of my Brother and Sister-Lover. She looked up inconfusion and pain. "I...beloved...." She twisted her mouth, her face grimaced in pain and her lips sealed tight. It was back, so I told it, lookin from tha River to It "and that . . . that you will never know, will you?" Tha Thing convulsed as the wind howls. "She is MINE," voices say in a rush of whispers. “no, she aint. theft dont make ownership. she is HERS” I pushed myself up ta all fours in tha mud. The Thing stood, lookin from Featherpants ta me. Tha look of worry and concern on her face is off, it aint right. She laughs silently at me, unable to speak.
Featherpants lets go of his own shell as his eyes rolls into the back of his head and a strong boomin voice came outta nowhere and everywhere "Abomination!" it screams "I cal thee forth, it is time to BOW DOWN!" I couldn’t take all this, I go down inta tha mud again. He booms at It "Come out, Tohu, face a King!" as I crawl away, back ta my foxhole scratchin. The Thing turned and followed me nudged me with the toe of her boot, the reared back her foot and kicked me in tha ribs. Bastard. Tha winds seem ta pick up as a storm darker than night came forth and surrounds my Brother. The Thing looked at the sky. I grabbed at Its foot, and yankin it ta topple It, never get inta a mud fight with a jungle fighter but Featherpants trumps me "Away from HIM!" and throws up his hand, castin fuckin Lightning and aiming at Joah' body, seeming to miss by inches as his eyes flick ta me holdin her.
I go back down as tha static gives me a zap but Tha Thing just stands still, grinnin at me. She turned back toward Featherpants and smiled. His True Form, tha Darkstorm spoke "You're fucking with the wrong woman, YOUNG spirit" he held out his hand and growled "Remove you slimy paws from my Kryptonite, Tohu..."I looked up from the mud as Tha Thing stretched her arms out and smiled. The Darkstorm grabbed It by the arm "perhaps it is time for you to enter my nightmare..." The Thing whiped her head around, realisin it was in tha shit now. He looked down me as they began ta fade away, dematerializin into nothing and he whisperd "Allow chaos to handle this, rest and stay away, you will not be able to help her nor I..." I just nodded and pushe myself deeper into my muddy hole.
Even this, fer all tha risk. Fer all tha cost, was worth it, if fer nothing else, It knows what we’re willin ta do ta get her back.
Failin that. I told her.
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