All after incinerators . . .?

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Pencil entry, messily scribbled, there are food stains on the pages, dated 12/4/2009
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Tha winds of change, they kinda stink, sometimes. This time, though, I got a wiff before tha real stink hit, and tha stink was of death. Time ta bug out. Time ta enact “Grr’s Evac plan #3”. Needed to get do some “shoppin” fer that. Why were we buggin out? Well, tha nasty critter that had gotten loose, run amuck and brought down tha heat from tha Septic Federal’s. Agent Men, wanderin about, huntin. Tha good citizens of Tox, well, they did what they do best, and after tha smoke cleared, and tha agents had been BBQ’d at tha stake, their helio shot down, and tha reprisal strike by ship ta ship missile on tha supply barge, I knew it was only a matter of time till they came back in force. I talked with some of tha Pack, who were determined ta stay, and fight fer their territory, angry pups who’ve never seen battlefield combat with a well trained and equipped military.

Between that, and the breakup of tha Institute, and everythin else that had been goin on there, tha waters were already lookin choppy, but like I say, tha wind brought tha scent of death, and even tha Messenger was absent. When tha Valkyrie depart, its time ta bug out. Didn’t have too much time, but enough ta do what needed ta be done. I collected tha tools of my trade, and set out shoppin. Huntin, is more accurate, though.

My first target was ta be tha easier of tha two, I just put my nose to tha ground, and sniffed about till I found tha right kind of scent. Male, Shifter, new to town. Alone. Spent a while till I tracked him down, then some more time observin. Stayin down wind, stayin outta sight, and sound. Casual, like, not makin it feel like a stalkin, in case his instincts were good. Turns out, though, he was just another turned Fleshie, stumbling about in his War-Form, like he was finding his paws. Poor bastard, well, him or me, I win out every time. I checked tha surrounds, didn’t want any witnesses for this, or tha whole jig was up. The look in his eyes was hardest, when tha first three round burst caught him in tha middle of tha pelvis. Silver hollow-points, make em myself. I keep a couple of 5.56 clips of them handy, just in case. Silver is a sacred metal, and is due tha respect my kin give it. I craft it with prayer and blessin, because there is only one reason for me ta use it. To take my own kind over tha Wide River.

Those three rounds hit him and shattered tha heavy bone of his pelvis, and hopefully, his spine too, I saw his legs bucklin even as tha second burst took him mid-chest, a little high and left of solar plexus, but, I wasn’t at too much distance, and tha MoA was only slight. Heart shot, rather than another spine hit, but, hollow-points make a mess, even subsonic 5.56’s. Tha trick is ta make a big hole, and not over-penetrate, leave that blood-metal in tha wound ta do its work. I kept whisperin my Prayer fer tha Departin, as he jerked and twitched, bodymass dropping him as his hips cracked wider, fallin in slow motion, impacts ta his chest, rib shards and silver mushrooms sproutin in his lungs and heart. His head turned to me, as he dropped, reflexes and canine hearin getting triangulation on tha second burst, even suppressed. That’s when tha third burst landed. His eyes landed on my position, in tha bushes by tha tattoo parlour, and he opened his mouth to try to howl for help.

Even lung-shot, my kin can let out a howl loud enough ta be heard by all those who would listen, fer quite a ways, and as it happens, I was ready, in case that happened, but, fallin as he was, mouth opening ta howl, my third burst found tha mark I gave them, mouth is as good as throat, and he ate at least two of tha three rounds. He crumpled, and lay still, back of his head a wet mess, where bone fragments and silver shards punched through tha back of his skull. I had ta move fast, in case I gotr spotted, but tha hours I keep, and picked, made that pretty easy, no one much is ever about when I am, so, I was in luck. I gathered my brass, slung my weapon, and double timed it over to him. I wondered what his name was, but, Coyote knows, and will add it to my tally. I reached him ,saw his tattered clothes and realised how young he must be, maybe his second moon as Kin, not even old enough ta know how ta deal with clothes. Too bad fer him. Dog eat Dog. I whipped out a poncho liner and rolled him onto it, tied him in, and threw him over my shoulder, and got my tail back to the Library.

I got him in, unseen again, I think, and stashed him in tha store room, before changing, and re-equippin myself fer my second item. A couple of hours had passed, not sure how much longer we had, and with tha time tickin away in my head. I got myself together, and headed back out. As I wandered, I got word that a supply ship had been spotted comin in, and we were expected ta make a show of gatherin intel. Well, that’s what we do, and it’d have raised more attention if I hadn’t. Her Ladyship was still out, makin her own arrangements. So, it was up to me. I passed tha crowd, squablin over booze and eats, as they stood about tha docks, all tha while, I was scanning bodies. Size and shape, needed ta be Fleshie, if this was gunna work. There were folks talking about tha critter, and that it had been loaded up ta be shipped off. I boarded tha barge, and poked about, myself, even whe nit pulled away, I kept lookin through what was left. Folks on tha shore yelled ta get back, that I’d get taken, but, I just waved cheerily, seemed ta me like them seein I was finding a way of tha island fer a holiday wasn’t a bad thing, would add to tha confusion, and if there were repercussions? Well, all tha better, blame tha Mainalnders fer what they were gunna find, later on.

I disembarked as tha barge turned tha corner near tha harbour, out of eye-line from tha docks. Double backed through tha sea wall, past tha Pit, and towards tha Park, tha fountain. Always one by tha fountain, or at least, in tha old days. I was in luck. All alone, again, bloody good fortune, pardon tha pun, and I set up quickly in tha rubble behind tha Vet Clinic, under tha toxic vat. I had my M-70 this time, and a different load. Folks think that bein in tha Institute is all about reading books, and filin reports. What they forget is that we larn everythin, we collect everythn, we never throw anything away. As Praetor, I had access, and knowledge.

I had tha anti-Fanger Serum, to de-Fanger folks, as used in tha Fanger-Lycan War, two strains, actually, because we had developed our own, too, a legacy of Shiny, Lyra tha Furf. I had taken that, and loaded it up into tranq darts, tha same kind that used ta get used on me, when I was in tha zoo, when I was learnin ta think like a Fleshie, in tha 7RAR-L. Tha same I’ve used on my own kin ta drop them when they go moon-struck. I had two of each strain, and had them on paw, just in case.

Tha female was not big, but she moved with tha fluid power that comes with tha Fangers, sex on a stick and as cool as a Melbourne eve. Her hair wasn’t dark, wasn’t light, so I was hopin it was tha right colour, but in tha end, that’s just icin on tha cake. I lined up as she fed from tha trough, tha fountain I helped build. At least she had tha grace ta use a cup, Her Ladyship would have been pleased ta know. I was pretty sure she didn’t have a clue I was there, again, I wasn’t that far off, and this could get messy if I bullocked it up.
Tha first dart hit her in tha back, about kidney height, she flinched, and spat her mouthful out and wheeled on tha spot and looked around fer what had hit her. Not seein anything, she reached back to grab at the dart, and struggled to reach it. I loaded up tha second kind, and drew another bead on her, and tagged her, upper right chest, above her teats, below collarbone. When she took that one, she staggered a little, off balance from reaching fer tha first dart.

When she plucked it and looked at it, tha look of contempt and spite that crossed her face was something outta tha movies. Classic Fanger rage face, fangs dropped, predator’s snarl, and she was on tha road ta revenge. She heard tha second shot, too, just like my kin had, and came at me, or at least, my way, a keening call made its way out of her mouth, as she ran towards tha vat I was under, I expect that she thought she’d zip under, and tear out tha throat of tha fool who tried to dart her, like some mortal. Well, I was hopin tha serum was fast actin, and that a mixed double dose would do tha trick, because tha next round I loaded was just a regular copper jacketed steel core. She had crossed tha park in good time, rounded tha tank, and was getting ready to vault tha chainlink fence I was behind, when she slowed. Makin tha jump, she only got half way up tha fence, and with a look of rage, and anger, had ta go hand over hand up it.

I took that as a sign my plan, and tha serums, had worked, and unloaded tha third round, mid-chest, iron sighted. Tha full military load cracked hard, kicked hard, and did it’s job. She was still goin up, but when that round punched through her chest, she just crumpled and sagged mid-air, and dropped off tha fence into a heap, behind tha vat. She wasn’t quite dead, makin that raspy, wheezy sound folks make when they are getting ready ta Cross, after takin one to tha lungs. I re-chambered, gathered my brass, and slipped around tha fence, at-shoulder, keeping her covered, in case tha serum wore off sudden-like whilst she was still kickin. I looked her in tha eyes as tha life went out of her, and whispered tha same prayer I had fer tha first target. She might have deserved ta die, but she wasn’t even my enemy, just needed her fer tha plan. Another name on Coyote’s list. Rolled her ta see that it was a through and through shot, then bagged her too, and after slingin my weapon, carried her as swift as i could without lookin like I was runnin with fresh meat, back to tha Library.

I got back, and again, as it often was, these days, found it empty, dumped tha almost-Fanger in tha store room, and got tha rest of what I needed. Clothes. Two sets, mine and Hers. I stripped tha two bodies, and changed them, hard work when ya think about it, harder ta do, even more so when they are all bloody and fucked up like these two were. I managed, I had to, time was tickin down on us something fierce. I dragged tha two bodies out, and Her Ladyship was there, ready, and lookin . . . grim. She nodded to me, and looks sadly at the two bodies, dressed like us, but, not us. Tha once-Fanger still had tha fangs, but tha thing that makes them be undead was dead in it, so, she was just in-between. She wasn’t even old enough ta go ta ash, just kinda looked dead and sickly. My kin had gone back to Fleshie form, reverted slowly after tha silver had done its work. I looked at them like so much meat, I had a job ta do, and I was gunna see my mission to tha end.

I reached up and yanked a pawfull of fur out, and tossed it at tha couches and look out my KA-BAR, and lookin away from Her Ladyship, stabbed myself through tha forearm. Whimpered, I did, it’s a hard thing ta do, without rage goadin ya, ta stab yerself, but I did it, and left tha blade in, and spun my arm about a bit, ta spray some blood about. Pulled it out again, and at tha same spot, sliced a chunk outta my arm, skinned a patch tha size of a dog food can lid, growlin as I sawed it off, and tossed it against tha fire place. Tha look in Her Ladyships eyes at me hurtin myself made me feel bad fer doin it, but, I could feel tha regeneration as I got to tha next stage, so, no harm done. Her Ladyship surprised me then, but, and said “I suppose I should offer the same evidence to our pursuers, don’t you think?” and before I could say anything, she bit her wrist and flicked it at tha wall and floor aways from tha bodies. I nodded, and bowed my head in thanks to her forwards thinking.

Last step. I got a metal canister out of my supplies, and slopped tha sticky, stinkin mess out of it, all over tha bodies, makin a mess of it, makin sure I didn’t spread it too far off them, but, its good stuff, made it myself, real thick and sticky. Napalm. Covered tha bodies but not tha Library. I had told tha Library Spirit our plan, and I got tha feelin it was just as unhappy as we were about tha situation, and I got tha feelin it was thinking tha same thing. It had dropped a book, for me when I had first told it about my evac plans, tha book was “You Only Live Twice” by Ian Fleming, a spook book, but I didn’t get ta read it, maybe next time . . .

We set tha bodies, and with our small bags of things, look out tha grimy windows into to that grimy city fer what was probably tha last time. I reached inta my pouch and fished out my mirror and asked Her Ladyship if she was ready. She smiled, a fierce, determined smile and nodded, I offered my paw, she took it in her smooth as stone hand. “See ya on tha flipside, Library, its been swell, but tha swelling’s gone down” and with that, we flashed outta that place, leavin mystery and misadventure in our wake, misery and muck in our past.

A song with two voices

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a CD lyric sheet, rescued from the dumpster, cleaned and pasted into the journal
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Will I fall again into dismay?
Will I be ashamed of crying?
And I know it's never been the way that I described
But I am afraid of trying
She's the one who keeps me all excited
She keeps me begging for more
She's the one who deems me uninvited
Now it's over

Never leave me, and don't deceive me
I'll keep on crawling my friend
Never tease me and don't leave me here
It's all the same in the end

Now I find that I am weaker fair
That I am ashamed of lying
And I know things never feel the way that's right inside
And I am afraid of dying
'Cause you're the one who keeps me all excited
You keep me begging for more
You're the one who keeps me uninvited
Now it's over
Never leave me, and don't deceive me
I'll keep on crawling my friend....

It's only a symbol

You've got me falling away
And I am afraid
Take back what I said

Never leave me, and don't deceive me
I'll keep on crawling my friend
Never tease me and don't leave me here
It's all the same in the end [x2]

It's all the same in the end
It's all the same in the end
It's all the same in the end
It's only a symbol

-Seether: Never Leave

When the mighty treat with the magnificent

"I have a task for you, My Coyote" Her Ladyship came to me as i was sittin in tha Library, by tha fire. All she ever need do was ask. "Yes, Yer Ladyship, what do ya need?" She smiled, a flash of fang and a twinkle of an eye. "There is a document, a rather special document, that is in danger, and i wish for you to secure it for the Institute, GrrBrool." I nodded, awaiting further instruction. "When the British Empire encountered these people, it was at the height of its power. It was the mightiest force the world had known and one group of savages, on the far side of the planet, put up such a tenacious struggle, a treaty had to be struck. A copy of that treaty, is at risk of being lost."

She meant tha Maori, tha indig's of New Zealand. With wooden clubs and stone axes, they fought tha Red Coats and tha Royal Navy to a standstill, fought em so hard it was easier fer tha Poms ta shake their hand than try ta beat em down, like they had done ta every other culture they had ever ran inta, or since. They got a platoon of tribal leaders ta all agree ta terms, and they all signed. The signed with a representative, of tha Crown, ta share, on terms, tha land that tha Poms woulda just taken form anybody else.

Seems tha powers that be in Kiwi-land felt it was time ta do away with tha past, and purge some inconvenient records, like treaties they have had ta deal with fer a couple of hundred years. SO i packed some essentials, left some stuff behind, and took one of tha clandestine boats that Duckie gets in, off Tox, and to tha mainland. From there it was stowage-class, and undercover, pressurized cargo flights across tha Pacific, and eventually, ta Kiwi-land. Not comfortable way ta travel, but, beats bein snagged by tha government, any government, and handed back to tha 7RAR-L, in a cage or in a bucket.


I got into tha city, Wellington, little port town, hardly any toxic sludge or firefights in tha street, civil unrest though, looks like tha Maori population kinda objects to somethin tha Anglo run leadership is doin. Figures. Fleshies do this kinda thing all tha time, one tribe against another, even when tha original trouble was gone generations ago. Tha poor stay poor and tha rich get richer, usually its tha locals, tha ones who's land got taken over, that are still on tha bottom, and still pissed off about it. That and tha way that tha different tribes seem ta always settle out. This time, same as tha last time, tha Anglo's got tha tech, and tha Maori got tha balls. Good luck to them, again.


Not my problem, though, i was after a document, simple snatch and recovery. I found tha museum, it woulda been pretty impressive a couple of decades ago, but now it was old and shabby, not maintained well. Security on tha doors, cameras, some of tha glass frontage was walled up with steel plate to cover damage. I scoped it out for a while, tryin ta avoid bein picked off by either tha gangs or tha government dragoons, and planned my entry. I was gunna hit tha archives, tha briefin Her Ladyship had given me stated that it was under lock and key in tha basement, in a room i had tha number fer. So, insertion. I found a side that was sheltered, and in a service access only area, Changed inta my War-Form , and bounded up tha slopin wall, to tha roof. From there, i popped a lock, and slipped in, paddin my way through tha inners of tha place, till i made it to tha basement.

Didn't figure on guards, but. I mean, guards? in a Museum? who steals from a museum? Oh, well, apart from me . . . Just Fleshies, one skinny old dude, tha other some kinda fat young guy. I woulda thought they'd have some big hulkin Maori fellas or sheilas guardin it, with those awesome face-tats, but, nope, just those two. I came t them from tha side, after i scoped them out, and realised they weren't goin anywhere fast. One was leanin on a counter, tha fat one, sittin at a desk. Both smelt of coffee and bad food. Neither smelt of fear, they didn't know i was there, or didn't care. I'm guessin tha former. Didn't stop ta ask. I bounded in, and kicked tha old fella in tha back of tha knee. It kinda did that snap-crackle-pop thing old bones do, he made a noise, and then fell over, and passed out pretty fast, then his leg hit tha ground. Feel a bit bad about that, Fleshies don't heal too good, worse when they are old. Tha fat kid was just starin at me, and reachin fer tha tazer on his hip when i came over tha desk, all fur and fang, and flat-palmed him on tha forehead, off his chair, and popped him one to tha side of tha head. Out like a light too.

I searched em both, and checked their vitals, i even gave tha old fella a bit of Coyote's Light, and fixed up tha bones in his leg. Keys were tha prize though and i got them right smart, and off to tha store rooms. Fuck me, there were a lot of things in there, good thing i had a serial number, or i would never have found tha damn thing. There is was thought, Her Ladyship's intel was spot on. I popped the case, and took out tha document. It was in a plastic sheet, so i rolled it up, careful like, and slipped it inta tha hard plastic map-tube i'd brought, and piss-bolted outta there. Just in time too, on my way off tha roof, i saw a van, unmarked, but with spook-lookin goons roll up, and pop tha back doors of the place, looks like i got there just in time, or maybe that had made me, either way, i didn't stick around ta find out.

Back home tha same kinda way, in tha belly of big planes, and on tha smuggler-ships, but i made it, not a worry, and slipped back inta tha Library. I read tha treaty, or tried, its in wavy writin, and not proper English, old-talk, i guess, but its powerful stuff. When tha Might of the British Empire nodded its head to tha Magnificence of tha Warrior Nation of tha Maori. Now, its safe in Her Ladyships keepin, in tha Library, tha Institute. Where Sacred learnins aint burnt cause they aint popular no more.

Well done them. We're still gunna take em in tha rugby, but. This year . . .

OOC - Assignment: Secure this Document for the Institute, and history

http://www.nzhistory.net.nz/politics/treaty/read-the-treaty/english-text

War and tha Blood-Song

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Pencil entry, dated 30/1/2009, it is messy, as if written balanced on a thigh
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Not a real war, more like a border skirmish, folks still die though, no matter what they call it. Tha Pack called an end of peace on tha K.A. Tha K.A. seemed ta launch a preemtive strike on tha Pack. As we had been expectin, it was revolvin around tha two sets of "cures" we been hearin about. Tha very idea that someone was makin "cures" ta both tha fanger HVV or tha lycan genes creeps tha fuck outta me.

I get that some folks don’t wanna take tha Embrace, or tha Gift. I get that folks on either side wanna have tha ability ta take out tha other, its a weapon whether ya think it if or not. Unmaking someones race by injectin them is a bio-weapon, especially in an evironment where lead flys as much as it does in Tox. I sure as fuck don’t want anyone un-makin ME. Cause bein a lycan lets me talk and walk in two legs. That's assumin that’s how it works. I guess it would be even worse if it took away tha canine in me. Bad enough three of four days a moon.

So it was war. Not the pissy street scuffles where one heavy faces off against another where all can see, but proper war. Ambushes, sniper coverage, wave assaults and bombardments. Tha Pack put a satchel charge up at the K.A. HQ and set it off, takin out a whole wall, their theumaturgical library, and generally upsettin tha aesthetic. At least this time none of them wanted ta come after me fer my pelt. Seemed it was fairly clear that it was a Faction War, rather than a race one, Tha Continuum signed up with tha Pack and I think tha Ryders might have signed on with tha K.A. but that’s just a rumour. Tha Righteous and Shadows stayed out of it, this time.

Whether it was just tha smell of blood and cordite, or maybe tha spray of “cured” blood in tha air, but I felt my hackles raising all week, building up. I could hear the blood song, tha Hunt, and tha drums of War beatin in my head and chest. Always building, building. My temper got shorter and tha length of reactions got longer. Tha others in tha Institute couldn’t see it, couldn’t feel it, it was just something affectin tha Shifters. Pensive felt it, but didn’t know what it was, but I did, and I knew what was comin. It was always building, building. Tha thing that cut me deepest, was Spirit Gal. She has been starving, starving herself and lookin to tha needs of others, Nareth Realmwalker mostly.

Starvin herself like tha Maker does. And here was me, brimming with power, brimming with life and tha blood-song singin in my head. I was so full, I thought I’d burst. I needed to let it out, or I’d explode. So I channelled it at her, givin up my all, or at least opening tha door so she would take, and use, and grow, and feed. She is Family, She is Sister-Lover. I will not see my Family starve when game is abundant, and tha plentiful game fer her, right now, is me. Except it ain’t. She spurned it, and me, I think I scared her, so I ran, I ran and raged and ran some more.

I came back to tha Library, and tried ta keep control, I stayed away from folks, and tried not to break anything. Quillis found me, and Spirit Gal did too, and they backed me into a corner, up against tha window, I could see tha marks I put in tha wall of tha Library, tha marks I inscribed with my own blood, imbued with Dimentox’s power, to offer my respects to tha Library, and return its protection with my own. They came, and they started fightin over who got to deal with me. Quillis grabbed me just as I was boltin fer tha Great Forest. So she came too. She’d never been. Figures, it’s a scared place, and she’s, well, old but hardly what I’d call devout, or even a believer.

Tha very purity of tha place repelled her, and she started pukin up black muck, and leakin. Purgin. We couldn’t stay long, too much, too soon. But I took tha time to show it to her, from tha Clearin, and went, and found my sword, which was still there, in the leaf litter, where I dropped it, slowly getting buried and removed from tha place, it was marin its purity, bein a thing made by hands and not by wind and water, rock and fire. I took it, and Quillis, and returned. Spirit Gal looked at me with burnin hatred, so I cleared out. As Featherpants says “let them hate, as long as they fear”. I will not abandon my Family, I will not see them starve.

Not that I needed to worry. Nareth came, and Spirit Gal went to her. Went to her and later, after, when they both smelt of each other, of sex and blood, Spirit Gal had fed, as had Nareth. My Family would not starve. I was not needed for that. Not what she wanted, tha Crystal Coyote, too delicate ta touch, too fragile ta use or drink from, better to leave on display, and look at from afar. Tha useless vessel, too brittle, too wild, too jagged ta drink from. But I could still guard, and Watch. So guard and Watch I will do. I tracked Spirit Gal to tha place of dead and stone, and Watch. This I can do, at least.

New Faces, Old hearts

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pencil entry, dated 28/1/2009
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Tha day i met with Strong Gal and Snappypants at tha Shelter, and we talked about redemption, i met some new meat. A cybernetic chick who looked half-done, and a Feather lady. They seemed real interested in tha Library when it got brought up, so i told em to come around and look me up. So look me up they did. Tha bot-girl didnt seem ta have any memories for anythin other than that week, and tha Feather was cheery but not to sure of herself, like she's been sent here fer bad behaviour. They both seemed nice enough.

Redd and Tonks. Both real polite, and eager. I got tha feelin that Dee, who Featherpants Named "Double" Dee, on account of how her name gets spelt. (That and she's not a nice rack, i think, Featherpants has always got an eye fer that kinda thing. ) Anyways, i think that she "woke up" before she was done, whether she got abandoned or not, i dotn think she was quite "done". She's fine, she dont seem ta be bothered much by it, except she worries about how she looks. That and she worried about what it meant that i called her a construct ta someone. Worried that she weren't real, or worth anythin, cause someone made her. Spent a long while tryin ta do herself harm, cause of it, and doubtin her feelins. All come back ta that.

Tonks, Tonky, is a cheerful Feather, real eager ta help out, and do stuff. Young. Do Feathers get made, or born? Do they know time like tha rest of us? She's sure younger seemin tha Featherpants, younger than Tobe. Nice kid, i guess thats kinda their job, but. Bein nice, at least, early on, it seems. Turnin people inta pillars of salt and layin waste ta cities dont come till later, apparently. Seems she's got a taste fer fur, too, as her mate, Pensive, Pennie, a cousin of mine. Another good kid. He had his First Change leadin up to tha Full Moon, and tha Hunt. Tonky got recruited, but i think Pen is holdin back ta run free, fair enough too, we run a strict house, and he's new. Bitten new, i think. I dont right remember.

Then there's Kryss tha Scale Lady, we only got to know each other recently, i think she musta arrives whilst i was bonkers, so, i missed out on tha meet and greet. She's some kinda nagha thingy, snake lady. Demon of some kind, but more like a Shifter. She's interestin, like a Fanger, but, like a Shifter too. She can change shapes, but, she aint a were. She was born, or, kinda yeah, born, but tested, they got a culture about it, which is interestin. If it weren't fer tha scales, you'd think they were lika a Pack. If it weren't fer tha bein alive, ya might think they are like Fangers, tha way their culture works, and, endures. Old. Not just lastin, but, old, their elders are, so Scale Gal says.

Just more recent was Doc Basalia. Formerly of tha Ryders, Fleshie Israeli trauma surgeon. She runs real close with Stilleto tha K.A. Fanger. They work on bloodlines and specialised in tha infective agents of tha Fanger Makin Embrace and tha Lycan Change Gift. This is gunna be tricky. One of her first lines was ta point out that she dug chicks and "was that an issue". Can't say as it was, I prefer females, so we got common ground. Spirit Gal had a giggle at her, askin if it mattered if she -did- mind. Seems tha Doc prefers to be on top. She learnt quick that our Matriarchy is already strong. Strong and stable. The Triumvirate is joined again.

Dee. She's a real person, she's more than just flanges and wires and meat and programs. And tha Maker proved that. I figured if she was, and she hit on him, he'd get all indignant and cat-bum faced. So I told her it was a test. He did, she passed. She's a person. Lucifer's soul detector can't lie. Not if it means he has ta point out how much he needs it and how much he suffers. He's too wrapped in it for that. Perfect tool for tha job.

Chief Joseph

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a carefully torn out page of a book, pasted into the Journal dated 22/1/2009
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You sound like your forefathers, Coyote
xoxoxo, redd

Tell General Howard I know his heart. What he told me before, I have it in my heart. I am tired of fighting. Our Chiefs are killed; Looking Glass is dead, Ta Hool Hool Shute is dead. The old men are all dead. It is the young men who say yes or no. He who led on the young men is dead. It is cold, and we have no blankets; the little children are freezing to death. My people, some of them, have run away to the hills, and have no blankets, no food. No one knows where they are - perhaps freezing to death. I want to have time to look for my children, and see how many of them I can find. Maybe I shall find them among the dead. Hear me, my Chiefs! I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands I will fight no more forever.
Chief Joseph - Thunder Traveling to the Loftier Mountain Heights - 1877

Disciplinin tha Alchemist

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Pencil note, dated 17/1/2009
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We had just been dealin with one of Featherpants' meltdowns, and low and behold, tha Shadow-Wives were in attendance. In fact, we had a whole gaggle of Shadows come callin. Spirit Gal had been talkin to Featherpants before he blew and and stomped off yellin somethin like ""Fuck This Institute and fuck Toxian City, I think I'll tender my resignation to Omega next time she is here". Not happy, but, thats been tha way of things for a while. Since he went ta Hell ta fetch back Blue-Wife. Bad trade if ya ask me, but, love is a funny thing, it seems. I'd have gone into it, or looked after him, but we had a situation brewing, more like about to boil over, that i needed to see to.

Blue-Wife snaps aloud "quit that, I will sting you in the ass... I am warning you" I look over and see Blake, standin about like a lump, grinnin. Blue-Shadow reacts, and tells Spirit Gal she's goin ta back up her sister-wife. Blake is oblivious to tha trouble "oh lookie here imma shadow . . ." Blue-Wife frowns, then grins wide and asked "hows the skin rot?" Spirit Gal leans up against me and groans. Blake got the Shadow-Wives in a foul mood, and they cursed him with some kinda flesh eatin bug, gave him a right cankerous wound. We sorted it, tricky in a Fanger, but he just dont learn. "oh much better, i thought it was sexy how you spit in the wound" great, just what we need.

I saw Blue-Wife flick her tail out, lashin at him trying to jab him in the ass, he just chuckled "hey hey heeyyy now" So i get involved tellin him "Blake, dont antagonise our guests, or you'll be in tha same shit yer always fallin in" Tha Shadow, Mei pipes in askin Spirit Gal "isn't your lot supposed to be non-violent? And non-irritating?" Don't know where she got that idea. With all tha crap goin on in tha city, we've stepped up our security, and close quarters battle trainin, and its been one of our long standin operatin procedures to NOT be irritatin. Better intel gathered that way. Blue-Shadow steps up to Blake and talks to her wife. "How about we deal with him easily?"

Blake tries to squirm his way outta it nowm he sees tha trap hes stumbled towards "im just joking...i know who not to provoke.." Bollocks he does. Tha drongo couldn't negotiate his way outta a wet paper bag with both hands. Blue-Wife ain't mollified none "he's too dumb to be taught... just like a retarted puppy... all you can do is drown it in the bathtub" Blue-Shadow follows up with "make him drown himself its easy" What did tha dumb as say to that? Did he back off, shug it off no, more fuel to the fire. "i love it when you talk dirty, not that i need to breathe.."

Now Shadow Kytara decided to get involved "Hey Blue, is that dinner?" she smirked as she headed out. Blue Shadow was firin on all four cylinders by now, "Fill your body with cement so you can't ever come up you can just rot under the ocean" Doesnt sound like a fun plan ta me, but Blake just goads them along "give yall something to do huh?" Spirit Gal sighed heavy like and took my paw in her hand. "How are you, beloved?" She looked up at Double Dee and smiled. Blue-Wife shrugged "I already cursed his skin to rot off once... didn't seem to detur him. I don't actually mind... he's just another loudmouth like the rest of this city. No manners, no brains, no balls"

Figured i needed to call fer some order, so i told them "Shadows, behave, we'll look to ours, awright? Blake, shut the FUCK up" as he was comin out with "ya'll seem to have the balls" he grabbed at his crotch lookin between her legs

Kytara hadn't left after all, "Aww, that's a shame. Probably doesn't taste very good then." She chuckled as she heard me startin ta give Blake a dressin down. HE just wandered up to the window and looked out. Blue-Wife smirked and shook her head "like I said... retarted puppy", "Needs a brain transplant" said her Sister-Wife. He must have been feelin lyrical, casue he just started philosophisin "this city is humourless ..no wonder everyones so bitter..." grins, and walks off. Right into my trap.

"Blake, you start this kind of shit with them every time you cross their path. do you require me ta get tha chain of command involved? you will NOT keep provoking tha Shadows, as a member of tha Institute, do ya understand?" he gives me a "yes Praetor" as Blue-Wife calls back at me "should have let me leave the curse on" but i'm startin ta see red at his lack of sense. "you grinnin at me, boy? or do ya think ya'll enjoy what tha "or else" is? Spirit Gal and Double Dee ar etalkin, but stop about then. a still settled on tha Library.looks down momentarily. Blake looked at tha floor.

Blue-Wife looked at her sister-wife and fretted a tad "lets go hmmm? this place has too many memories" she nodded and said "I need to sleep" but i was on Blake like a pup on a bone. "because this is exactly tha kind of fucked up shit that tha other Factions spend their whole fuckin lives wadin through, and we got plenty better things ta do than puttin out tha fires that tha people who are meant ta be workin, but aint, are lightin in tha magazine, Do. You. Understand. Me?" i can smell blood as Blake bit his own tongue, eyes still to the floor, frownin. "and if ya intend to stay in tha Institute then you will put this shit behind you. Am. I. Understood?" He mumbled "i understand Praetor"

I kept on it, because lettin a bloodied deer go aint right. Finish tha job. "because as Coyote is my witness, if -i- can, after all tha fucked up shit that i have gone through with tha House of Fuckin Shadows, then you can pull yer fuckin head in, and toe tha line. Do we have an understandin?" He said we did, so i decided it was done "Good, dismissed. get out of my sight, and do somethin useful for Her ladyship." He scuttled off. Tha Shadow females had all pissed off too, leavin just me, Spirit Gal, and Double Dee. Spirit Gal wandered over and stroked my arm soothin me. Double Dee winked. I relaxed some, and unlocked my posture. I bleew a raspberry, with if ya never seen or heard is somethin else, from a Shifter in War-Form.

Spirit Gal smiled "One should never think that you are tame, Beloved. It would be a serious mistake." Aint that tha truth. I gave her a big, sloppy kiss, makin Double Dee squirm and blush in shock, and head out for a run, to go stomp some snow. Dickhead.

the Fang that bites no more

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Pencil entry 14/1/2009, faint blood smears
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Right. Time for some geurilla tactics. I can rememeber Ardere tauntin me when i was broken in tha head. Suggestin ta have me put down, stirrin tha pot when i needed ta settle. She was doin it fer tha joy of seein me squirm and suffer. Wasn't much i could do, cause she was right on tha money. Her and Pontifex, they were close, i gathered, these days. I dont know where Angel Lady had gotten to, but it seemed Big Red prefered darker meat with a lighter skin, these days. Not that i give a damn, he made his choice, and lives as he likes, servin no one but himself, and free ta worship tha thing that was tha Godling, Nareth.

But i hear tell that Ardere had been tradin harsh language with Spirit Gal over havin me fer tea. and not tha Russian Caravan, white and one, Tim-Tam's and lammingtons tea. Grr-tarter, Grr-sushi. She wanted ta fuckin eat me. tha idea really bothers me. Kill me? well, i cant see why, but, hell, shes a demon, who can say. Torture me? well, again, demon, its what they do, no reason i expect, other than i was broken, and she liked seein me suffer. Eat me? fuck that right off. i'm an apex predator. no one eats me! (well, not like that, anyways.)

As it happened, i came inta tha Library and caught Pontifex, and Spirit Gal, castin a bindin ritual on her, somethin about bindin her to his will. Right in tha fuckin Library. Made me mad ta see, but Featherpants waved me down. The did it. With wheelin circles of lights and swirlin stars. Durrin it all, Spirit Gal yanked out Ardere's last fang, just sorta reached in and plucked it, it was broken, i guess thats part of it, how to bind a demon, take its fangs. Or something. I found out later that Omega had taken the other one, yonks ago, and had given to Nareth. Turns out she still has it too.

Later on, a few days later, i chucked both Pontifex and Ardere outta tha Library, cause he was disciplinin her there, ta appologise fer beein a sandy vagina to Kit-sis, and to Spirit Gal. Discipline looked ta turn to torture, and me and tha Library got jack of it. Pontifex has been spoutin a lot of jibberish, and i wouldn't be surprised if hes got a few roo's loose in tha top paddock too, lots of that goin around. i dont judge him fer that, and frankly, it didnt bother me none that he was bendin tha bones of Ardere, but it bothered tha Library, and Nareth, and she was right, he didn't have tha fuckin right to be doin that, there. Lots of skanky dark holes fer that kind of behaviour.

Then, when i was doin a set at Haven, Ardere was there, workin tha pole, and i had a bunch of tha Institute lettin their hair down, i got an idea, and asked Spirit Gal if she still had tha tooth, she did, and she gave it to me. Once together, always together. So I got to work, and set about a Workin, ta give myself a bit of an edge on Ardere. Tha Rite of tha Ashen Tongue. Any time she lays paws on me, she tastes ashes. See how fond of eatin me she'll be once i set that up.

Tha Hunt, Tha Sacred Rite

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Pencil note, dated 13/1/2009
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Full moon last night.

I Hunted along with tha Pack.
I shared my kills with tha other Packless.
I returned, and found one of my mates.

The Moon will be pleased, and so would Coyote.

i think Spirit Gal was too, eventually, heh.

After the Hunt - OOC - not in the journal

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the following piece is a of a sensitive and sensual nature. If you may be offended, please stop now.

it is not a story as recorded in Grr's journal, but was written as a glimpse into his life, as seen by the Library Spirit and its inhabitants.
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the Hunt had finished, and Grr returned, unclothed, golden fur splattered with flecks of blood and melted sleet. He padded past Denenthorn standing watch in the doorway, and towards Tonks, who offered him praise and thanks for looking to the needs of his less fortunate or skilled kin, dropping parts of his kill at the snow at their paws, teaching them, showing them the way of the Hunt. He nodded to Denenthorn and they shared a wry joke, and exchanged eye rolling at Lei's whining and moaning about how the Pack was pathetic, but at the same time, would not lift a paw to better them.

Grr had other things on his mind, though. in the warmth of the Library, his unclothed body began to steam, frost thawing and melting away, and he padded over to the fireplace to drive off the rest of the chill and damp. He looked for his clothes, discarded when the Hunt arrived, and he heard its call at the windows and door. Kicking them behind a chair, he wiped the remainder of the rat-blood off his paws and looked upstairs. Upstairs to the room beside Her Ladyships office. Upstairs where Spirit Gal was sleeping.

A yearning need was tugging at him, calling, and he slowly made his way up, bare paws making barely a sound other than the click of claws on stone and polished wood. Denenthorn walked to the hidden doorway and lay against it, guarding the returned Childer, but Grr, his thoughts were of the living, tonight. Passing the foyer, reaching the spiral staircase, he wound his way up, all four paws clicking and padding. Reaching the top, he padded close to the door, and checked it. Locked, but not to him.

Slipping inside, Grr padded to where the sleeping woman lay, her breathing was even, and the scent of sleep was in the air. Clothes lay draped over a simple chair and a pair of golden earrings lay on a dresser against a wall. Reaching the foot of the bed, he gently lifted the heavy quilted cover, and poked his head very slowly under. A movement, and a foot slid one way, Grr froze, then after a moment, continued to slide under the covers, an inch at a time, claws reaching under as he pushed his lean furred body into the bed. Breathing in the scent, he crawled further forwards.

For a moment there was stillness, then flesh touched fur and a another frozen moment passed. Stillness. Anticipation. The leg move again, access is gained, and taken. With the alacrity of a commando raid, Grr, clawed his way further up the bed, towards the source of the heat, the scent, agaisnt the sleepy legs of the stirring woman. She was waking at the sudden motion and sensation, but groggily, the press of soft warm fur of Grr's muzzle and neck ruff strangely familiar in her dreaming.

Suddenly, she realises something is happening and sits up, in a panic, and tries to pull away, but Grr is on her now, paws reaching up and pinning her thighs. She cries out, in the daze of sleep and panic, and a pulse of prana lashes out, in defence. Stunned for a moment Grr slumps in the bed, his paws gone slack on the womans thighs and she tries to pull away, but he recovers quicker then she expected, such was his need. With a grunt, he levers himself forwards, gripping her thighs again, and presses his muzzle forwards, and manages one long lick before stilling again.

A quick gasp as tongue hits its mark, and a pause, "Beloved? Grr?". The quilt is lifted and a light is switched on, the light plays over Grr's fur, dappling the caramel coloured fur, still flecked with blood. Blinking, dazed he tries a grin, but with his ears pressed back by the covers, and most of his muzzle wrapped by thighs, it is only his eyes that express his delight. Then his tongue speaks for him, in action rather than sound. Regaining his bearings, he pulls back at her hips, pulling her towards him, and himself to her. She smacks her palm on the top of his head several times, trying to object to the intrusion, the shock, but his insistance is . . . insistent.

"you startled me, Beloved, are you alright?" she asked. The only reply Grr made was a low rumble, an an intensifying of his licking and lapping, all along thigh and behind her knees, edging further and further upwards again, after the initial lick. With a pull of both his warm leathery paws, Grr presses to her mound, need taking precedence to subtlety, and laps vigorously, letting the curl of his tongue caress and part her, nose pressed, snuffling firmly and growls softly.

Before he got very far, Grr felt a firm palm press on his head, on the ridges of his pointy skull and the woman spoke. "Beloved, wait, what if . . .." Grr continued licking, tasting, but lifted his head, forming a crest in the covers through which he peaked. Looking over her belly and breast, covered though they were in a nightie, his eyes glinted in the shadow, even as his matted muzzle rested between her thighs. He had stopped, for a moment, then with a throaty and cheerful snort, and a shake of his head, he continued, nuzzling into her groin, pressing his nose into her mound as he parted her with his agile tongue.

She made a noise, pleased but at the same time, anxious. There was a brief moment, a decision was made, Grr could feel it. She sighed and pulled the covers over his head. Grr took this as a sign and continued, under cover. As he chased his hunger, she lay back in her bed, and with a chuckle resigned herself to having been caught. Grr's tail poked above the back of the bed, wagging he had hunted, but now he had far deeper hungers to satisfy. The quilt undulated as Grr went about finishing what he started, and soon the woman was making noises as animal as his.

As she lay back, trembling, gasping to catch her breath, hands grinning the sheets in now slack fists, she felt him, fur against her thighs, shoulders against her knees, and the huffing breath, waiting. There was a stillness in the night, no gunfire, or screams, only the faint faraway crackle of the fire in the hearth. The building was still, watchful, but calm. This was the feeling they shared, flesh on fur, entwined, longways, as it were, for a moment. This dreamy warmth ended abruptly with another cheerful snort that she felt for than heart, sending tremors of delight once more. It signalled a rush of motion.

With a paw on either thigh still, Grr gripped, pulled and twisted, lifting the slight woman and rolling her. In a daze still, she was momentarily confused and wondered what was happening, but she felt Grr clamber onto the bed. With a gentle but insistant shove, she was dropped first onto all fours, then knocked onto her elbows. The room barely had time to stop spinning when she felt Grr behind her, a press of fur to the backs of her thighs, along the curve of her back, and along the backs of her arms, as his own planted and wedged her in place. It began.

It began with a soft searching, a fast paced and shuddering entry, followed by a pause, and Grr hugged the woman close, still not having said a word, waiting for both acceptance and confirmation. He gained it as she throatily gasped "oh, Beloved, yes" No further signal needed, he moved within her, and they shook. She felt the burning need, tempered by a compassionate heart, struggling. Always holding back, always tender and gentle, she felt the struggle, and acted.

Growling slightly herself, she turned her head, and bit his forearm as it gripped the bed, wrapped around her own. This tipped the scale, and Grr let instinct loose. Wild and free. Hungry and inhumanly strong. The coupling became rough, and fast. Driving forward over and over, Grr had pushed the woman further down, so that her shoulders were on the bed, his paws against the sides of her chest at her armpits, so that his fur was brushing that delicate flesh. Need and hunger. Primal and passionate.

Something new. something she had never felt, and had only pondered. A pressure, a parting, a fullness, followed by a rush of heat, a shuddering throb, and a mixture of Grr's whining, whimpering and deep throated growling and utterances, words and non-words. Sounds that might have had meaning, or simply been the language of the gods. Then stillness, they lay together, joined, tied both physically and spiritually. the fierce heat of Grr's metabolism, combined with not only the rush of the Hunt, but of the fires of their passion, combined with the fire that lived within the woman drove away any chill in the air.

Pulses continued for a long, long time, and when the feeling of fullness did not abate, the woman turned her head, and kissed Grr, who was still crouched, supporting himself on digigrade knees and along his forearms. She could see that his eyes were half lidded, his tongue lolling out as he panted, staring into the Other, and with every third or fourth breath, they shared another pulse, and his nostrils flared. "Beloved? . . . Grr?" No answer, but the slightest contented smile and a rolling "hmmmmm" she felt throughout her body, covered in her own, personal furred blanket.

Slowly Grr stirred, and after many long minutes, Grr was able to withdraw, and did so gingerly, having regained enough rational thought to consider his partner. The moment he had, again, in a rush of sensation , he clambered off and behind his mate, and soothed her in the way most natural to him, with licks. This was almost too much for her to bear, and only after a moment, she pulled away, rolled to her side and grabbed at his fur, pulling him up to lay with her.

As they filled her little bed, limbs entwined, and touching each other, fingertips running through fur and tracing scars and tattoos, and claws tracing skin and curved, Grr uttered his first distinct words, and his last for the night. "Spirit Gal". They lay, sleeping or gazing, until duty and the ruckus of the city stirred them on another cold, Toxian winters day.

--unfinished entry--

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Pencil note, dated 24/11/2008, it is unfinished
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this is gettin beyond a joke, im not sure if i can keep tha Institute tagether all by myself like this., We're playin host ta tha fuckin Horsemen of tha Apocalypse, two at least, and one is in Spirit Gal.

Featherpants is who tha fuck knows where recoverin still from losin his marbles and fishin fer Pickett in Hell, and her Ladyship is still outta town

I need their help, i'm not gunna be able ta . . . . . . . . . ..

Feedin Khali

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Pencil note, dated 24/11/2008
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Death glided up behind me makin the air cold as she came, she puts her arms around his waist to embrace me. Deaths embrace ain't nothin ta be mockin or even scornin "You do not like me much, do I give you too much work Ferryman? I thought these forms would have pleased you at least, my brothers and I are enjoying the city though we lack two vessels still". Tha Spook fidgeted. Good reason too. I stood real still "i dont answer ta yo or yer brother no more" Death breathed on my neck the cold air of what she is, like ice cubes, slippin over me. "You are mad at us for taking your lover, you can still enjoy her as she is now with my brother in charge. Much more fun that way". Death fuckin tutted me like a pup, slidin her hands down my flanks "You do and you should, you can not break such things Ferryman. I continue to reap the souls of the dead for you". Some times it takes a primal force ta confront a primal force. So I Sang. I sang slow and low to Blue's Rider

"O, Death, Won't you spare me over til another year
Well what is this that I can't see
With ice cold hands takin' hold of me
Well I am death, none can excel
I'll open the door to heaven or hell
Whoa, death someone would pray
Could you wait to call me another day
The children prayed, the preacher preached
Time and mercy is out of your reach"

I finished I said to Death "you took my sister-lover, you took my sister-lover's sister" Death said "It is fate" fuck me. How do I argue with that? I said "i aint sayin it aint Fate. i'm a servant of tha Change, i KNOW Fate. When you see your red brother, you tell him he knows my heart. i know tha role i have ta play" Death embraces me tighter, I could tell It was enjoyin the warmth of my fur, of my life. "Your role is what I say it is, their role is what I say it is. I have that right, and this vessel grows hungry". I answered It back, with what I could say was tha authority of my office. "but i am what i am, and you and your kin have taken from me and my Family" Death said "I will take from where I see fit. There is no distinction" damned Thing. It don’t, it can. It will and it did, so I said "but i dont answer to you or your red brother no more, i answer to tha Laughter, but i still walk tha Path to yer River. i will not hide that, or my duty. I got still, desperate so I asked It direct. "what do you WANT?"
Death rested her chin on my shoulder simply listening to me, "The end of all things, it is our duty and purpose after all". Shoulda expected that. So I said "ask your Red Brother the debt i have to pay in Yer and His name to tha Laughter." Death said "must I do such weary things?" interestin point there. Avoidance. They may not be here on official business, unsanctioned action. We can use that.

That don't get Spirit Gal back though. So I said "I owe nothin to tha one that took my Spirit Gal, and i will rile against that one forever, it is in my nature, my kind are excused from Its grasp, for tha most part. and i HATE IT" Death huffed a little turnin her head to nibble upon him, Death fuckin NIBBLED on me. "Ferryman stop babbling and feed my vessel". I squinted and looks at Deaths eyes, I said "burgers, or cookies? we got LOTS of rat right now, swimmin in it . . ." Death giggles in my ear, "This vessel feeds on sex, I smelt it on her before I took her".I squinted and looks at Death Seein Blue's demonic form, knowin she was trapped in there, and now Tha Thing was tellin me it was starvin. I Watched with dispair and compassion, "Khali-rama, Khali-ur, Khali-Bhavatarini. if that will appease you." Death pressed her body closer to his rubbing slightly as she purrs low, the air getting colder around her. "You disappoint me, you can not tell me you do not find this one attractive"? Death slid her hands down the front of my pants, "Then what is stopping you Ferryman? Feed the vessel". Holy Fuck. Literally. Tha Little Medic wanders in but from tha look in her eye I gather she feels she should aughta wander back out. I said "nothin stops me but desire, Khali" I leans in close so I could tell It, personal like "and you got coooold hands" I started sniffin all over Death face and shoulders. She hardly smelt of Blue Shadow, more like dust and old bones. Not my idea of an awesome scrumpin partner, even pretty lookin like It was in Blue Shadow's skin. Death purred tenderly, her tail waggin, so I could tell she was takin in the femine side ofthis body, she was rather enjoying molestin me Tha Spook was seethin with a confusion, poor critter, I figured she got no understanding of what was happenin. I traced Blue's shoulder with a clawed fingertip as i sniffled her, a hard look in my eyes as I studied It and how it responded to me. I looks over at tha Spook and asked tenderly do you know what Khali is?" Death whispers softly to him in that not-arabic they talk as she swayed her hips slightly.

Tha Spook nodded an anxious "yes", and I swayed with Blue, tracing her skin with his clawtips, intricate swirling patterns, dots, "well, little Spook, this ya see before ya is an aspect of Her". Tha Spook begins to whisper, "no, no, no" as Tha Little Medic bit her lips, worried about my proximity to tha demon. Death shivered slightly, her eyes closin to the tender attention I was give, "It is appropriate that I took a demon to live in, specially one that needs a certain food source hmm” I nodded sadly as I swayed entwined with Death, continuin ta trace patterns on her arms, back, flanks and any exposed flesh. I had a plan. Tha Spook 's voice cracks, above a whisper for the first time in her memory: "Our God who is in Heaven - hallowed be thy name. " I said "Khali the Black, Khali the Hungry, Khali the Reaper, Goddess of Death, Sex. . . . . . .” Tha Spook goes on, "THY Kingdom come, THY Will be done - in corporeality as it is in ethereality. Gee ye us this day our daily food, and forgive us our sins as we forgive the sins of those who harm us." I flicked my wrist to find purchase on an edge of cloth, then pulling it free. Death bit me on the shoulder, she kept her voice low and purrin as she directs her words to Tha Spook "It is his will that I am here". She reached her hands up under my shirt her claws trailing through my fur, tracin my scars, "His will". Tha Spook chants "Mother! Jai Ma Kali! Kali Ma! Siavea!" I was gettin close ta what I was wantin ta see, I said "are you feeling this? is this what you need for your vessel? Tha Little Medic watched on anxiously as Death replies “full feeding I believe requires copulation” whilst Tha Spook sings "Shanti prava prava, om shivaya!" I think maybe she was startin ta be faced with what she was MEANT ta be, I said "and what does your vesel think of that? we aint exactly close . . .” Death said “I do not care what the vessel thinks, tell that one to be silent or I send her to where she belongs” I distracted her by tuggin away more of her clothes befer turnin my muzzle towards Dryl "dont you get yerself fried . . . . i know what it is that i'm doin, tha Gods require offerins, and tha vessel . . .Blue Shadow, she dont deserve ta starve because of this, Spirit Gal neither, and i fed her too . . ." Damn Death stuck its boney mit in sayin “the Ferryman is so giving to the poor things we enslave, her hunger batters me. I have never felt what this is before, it will be new to me” Poor Spook, she was all but beggin me ta stop. I traces more shapes into the back and flanls of Blue with his claws, pressing hard enough to raise whelts but not yet break the skin

Death drew her hand to his chest, she nibbles along his neck. "Make her bleed, that is not wise I know what her blood does". I offered tha Spook a sad smile and told her "i am a Shaman, Little Spook, i have a Sacred Duty, i cant pick and choose how i play my part, Tha Goddess gave me tha strength, Coyote gives me tha Will, and if not me, then someone else, someone who's soul aint prepared, and they might not fare so well . . ." Tha Spook was weepin, tryin ta make head or tails outta this. She’s lookin about like she was tryin ta find help. Death thought about what I had said, “Could always try Delrith she loves so much, what a tear it would be for him. Once again for him to be betrayed” I looks right at Death’s eyes as i griped her tight and pulls her close growling "dont think i aint fergot that, neither, this blood sent me back ta Timor. This blood is madness and death. Sex and madness." Death slid herself around to face him kissing him on the nose, "Line of Belial... Lord will not be pleased with this but I however am” I griped Death so tight that my clawtips began ta work through tha fabric and into tha skin "not be much use to ya if i was a screamin comabt vet again, now, would i?" Tha Spook collapses, and Tha Little Medic bends down ta tend her, as best she may, with soft words. Death lifted her right leg hookin it around me, the spikes on her thigh rakin me, but not doin me too much grief, "True enough Ferryman". Lickin her lips she gave a low and fervent moan, lettin it course through her body in a tremor.

I feel all these conflictin things, Blue is in there, back-stabbin, poison spreadin, Shadow Demon without a conscience. She’s locked in her own body, bein toyed with like a meat puppet. Spirit Gal’s heart-sister. I can feel my expression change from anger to compassion, to despair and resignation "i do this as an offering to tha Goddess, in Coyote's Song.” I offer my blessing to Life. To Laughter. There is no life without death, no death, without life, and both sides of tha coin must be honoured. I pulls more of Blue’s clothes free, as Death draws me closer to her, "You are an odd one Ferryman, always have been". She pushed up my shirt to bite at my chest, tracin tha scars that brought me ta her service in tha first place, her tail wagged slowly in tha air around her cold but now full of the energy she needed. I said ""do what thou wilt, and that shall be tha whole of tha fuckin law" and with that, I lifted my shirt, so It would feed and be gone. I bared tha deep and unnatural criss crossing of deep scars running over my furred belly, chest, back, up his left arm and into my waistline. Death lingers over my form staring at it, she licks over every inch of me she bites upon trailing each of tha scars I bear from her callin. She paused in her actions and backs away from him, all of a sudden"That is enough". Her cheeks were warm despite the cold she produced, she was shakin from things she never felt before it was overloading her. "I will take no more, I can not".

I think I called its bluff. I said "do my scars offend ya? they are tha badge that binds me to you and yer Red Brother. they were His gift ta me, and as i lay bobbin in tha Wide River, i came inta my callin as Guide of tha Dead. This is tha mark that bound me to ya both.” Death puts a hand to her face, "They do not offend me, I had not counted on the vessel feeling so much". I pulled my shirt back on and covers up tha scars. Seems maybe It bit off more than it felt like swallowin this time around. Now, I’m not fond of braggin, but it put a glow in my pants ta think that Death-as-Khali had had enough before it’ shad gotten inta my pants. I said "i would never let my Family starve whilst i stood by, whole and fit. and tha body you have taken is tha sister of tha heart to my Spirit Gal, my sister-lover. i offer to her that what she needs, i do this fer Kin, pack and Blood” Death shook a little takin the last strands of lust from around them, "It has been many centuries since I took over a coperal form, I do not need your lecture on family. No matter I will get accustomed to it and use it to its fullest". I look Death in Its eyes and make my point, I was talking ta Blue. “well, maybe im tellin HER that”

Raven's Song wanders in from the front, makin her way down the stairs to the lower seatin area. Death shifts her weight on her feet, "One of yours is here".
I nodded and finished fixin my clothes as Raven's Song halts, her head snappin up as she peers toward the sound of the voice, her gaze shiftin immediately to me as her body goes tense, eyebrow quirked. I looked up her feelin sad, tired in tha eyes "g'day Raven's Song. i been sharin a sacred meal with Khali here" Death giggles as she bounced past me, groping my groin fondly before soddin off. "More like starters", she moves for the door her shadow being dragged behind her bound and tied. It screamed in protest but, silent. I said "if ya see tha Little Medic, Wire, or tha Spook, Dryl, tell em i'm awright, will ya, they were aweful worried fer me soul.” Raven's Song 's eyes narrow as she repeats. "Sharin'?" she looks toward Death, wary and cautious as though making ready for near anything. I sneered at the passing of Blue's body. Death said “Next time Ferryman” I said "knot you” don’t get much more personal than that, really.

Raven's Song watches Blue leave... then turns her head to peer over her shoulder at me. "Are you... Are you alright?" No, I aint awright. I just fed tha enemy, one of tha things that sotle my Spirit Gal away, but I did it fer a reason, and I learnt more about it cause of that. It gained something it could get anywhere, I gained something it’d never let me know otherwise. I said "seems i'm too much beast fer It ta bite off in one helpin, is all. Blue, tha real Blue, she, err, feeds on passion, fuckin . . .Death that Rides needs ta feed its prisoner. i was tha warm body it took a first shinin to, mostly ta spite me i figure, or more likely, ta spite Blue Shadow. sacred duty of a Shaman, Raven's Song, ta partake of tha Great Rite, and honour tha gods and That . . . . embodies Khali, as well as holdin Joah's heart-sister captive. it got its passion, and then had enough. kept my pants on, if thats whats botherin ya?”


Raven's Song said “They've got other ways of feeding. I may be chaste but I am familiar with tantric. What concerns me is that you're feeding the very thing we're going to need to combat. Yes, she's your friend, and Joah your love but, right now, neither are themselves and... weaker is better... at least from what I've learned." She got quiet a moment, like she thought se’d probably spoken out of turn. "But, my strength is yours. I gave you my oath. I'll do what you ask."
I shakes his head " i dont think they need tha body strong fer them, they got all tha power they need" I paused and looks around, then stops, and quickly looked back at Raven’s Song "yer chaste? as in no breedin and scrumpin?” I looked where Blue went "well, fer me, err, not bein ever been a Fleshie, its natural as livin and feedin, and ya know, gave me a wee chuckle knowin i was offerin life ta Khali, see tha symetry there? i think, one day, Raven's Song, ya'lll find a mate worthy of ya. i'm a pack creature, i believe in tha sanctity of a matriarchy, and sustainin Family.” Raven's Song said “Khali is the mother Goddess. The Hindu equiv to Gaia, Nature Goddess and who I... we... Wiccan give knee to.” I nods to Rhaven " not tha kind mother ya might be thinkin of, "Khali the Black, Khali the fierce, Khali the Hungry, Goddess of sex and death, the Jackal Rider”

And I made her buck.

tha Spook and tha Medic

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Pencil note, writen in a strained, messy hand dated 24/11/2008
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Tha Little Medic nudged me as I stood by tha fire, dryin off and tryin ta get warm. Tah fire is still stinkin, but more like a funeral pyre now, rather than a charnel house burnoff. Tha Spook whispers "hello" to her from the shadow of tha fireplace, tha Little Medic waved back. I looked from tha Little Medic to tha Spook "g'day there Little Medic . . ohhh! you've met tha Spook! ripper!" She made a face, guess it’s a cultural thing, and tha Spook blushed, I think . . Tha Little Medic scratched her head. "Th-the who with th-the what now?" and I waved to Tha Spook to come closer, in a relaxed fashion, she fidgeted... but creept closer...and tha Little Medic rubbed her nose and inspects Tha Spook. "W-who's she?" I can feel tha Spook strainin to appear as relaxed and friendly as possible, and at tha same time is fightin ta calm her fidgetin.

Tha Little Medic grinned a little, which is good ta see. Tha Spook gave her funny lookin smile back. I think she's been practicin. I said "well. thats actually a hard question ta answer, but . . have ya asked -her-?" its always good ta treat folks who can talk like they can answer. Odds are they will. Tha Little Medic said "Uh…oh…wh-who're you? P-please …err…uh…m'am…miss…" I could tell Tha Spook was thrilled to answer, she gets a bit more "here" when she's feelin good. She creaks an answer "I am called 'Wraith' by the Institute's scholars - " I gave Tha Spook a conspiratorial wink. Tha Little Medic nods. "N-nice to meet you… uh… Wraith…s-so w-what are you?"
Tha Spook blushed deeply and went on, "The Praetors have determined that I am composed of the incorporeal essence of 81 creatures, mostly human, all victims of the Toxian catastrophe." Tha Spook went on ta say how she once believed that she was only a piece of forgotten paper blowing in the wind. She has learned that she is, in fact, a corporate entity and a real Girl. She finished up grinnin proudly.

Tha Little Medic nodded. "T-that's wild." Tha Spook thought so, too she even showed off her new skill of winking at me. I think she's soft on me. Can ghosts get tha hots? If they do, can they -do- anythin about it? That would suck, if they couldn't. I like her. I was happy ta ask her if she'd like ta go on tha books we couldn’t ger her ta sign nothing, but, intent is everythin. Tha Little Medic said “S-so are you a g-ghost then?” Tha Spook answered in her Real Girl voice "Yes. A ghost, as in Lewis Carol's fiction, or as in folklore." Tha Little Medic nodded "N-neato, th-then I won't e-ever have to s-stitch you b-back up!" Tha Spook shows Tha Little Medic her skill at becomin unseen. She asked me”H-how's your nose Grr? G-good, fur growin' back”, whilst grinning at tha dissapearing act. I said "err, yeah, i, um, dealt with that . . . had a bath and everythin . .fur dont regenerate, but it does grow back, one day, when she's ready, i'll be happy ta ferry tha Spook across tha Wide River, but only when she's ready ta go” Little Medic took it in and said “Eat l-lots of c-carrots and f-fish.” I guess its fer tha healin, and give my coat a nice healthy sheen, as opposed tat ha nasty greasy one it gets walkin about Toxia.

Tha Spook trembled..... but then sorta paused like she remembered to say "thannnnk you verry much" in her out-loud whisper. I guess she don’t feel like goin away anytime soon, and as long as she aint sufferin fer bein on this side of tha Wide River, I’m happy ta have her here. She kinda idly wondere outloud if anyone else has noticed that FLeshies look lovely by firelight, and added that she had become a huge fan of Agatha Christie, I don’t know who that is, but I think it’s a book thing, and also that there is a secret entrance into Hell on the other side of the rocks on the south beach. That at least was interesting info. I nodded "err, actually, i shifted ta Fleshie and back as i swam, fur came back then." She then wondered aloud if carrots and oranges taste the same. Tha Little Medic nods.. and then did the old “yawn and stretch trick and stuck a hello-kitty bandaid on me they have a bit of a giggle and I asked "does that me look more or less scary, ya think?"

Then tha mood dropped, no fault of those two, their sweet as. Tha Little Medic asked “H-how's Joah?” Tha Spook reported in her Real Girl voice that “Joah is immensely open, and far too close to the ether for such a fragile and sensitive person, and that she hoped with all her heart that Joah was well, right now, wherever she was”. I swallowed several times, fightin back bile and rage, grindin my teeth fer a moment before answering "Joah . . . .is still in tha grip of Pestilence, the first of the Four Horsemen . . . . we're workin on how ta ger her back" Tha Spook frowned and started weepin invisible, immaterial tears of worry! Just cause ya ain’t got no body don’t mean ya cant cry, it seems. Tha Little Medic asked me “Grr, i-is there anyway t-to ask f-for help f-from more powerful s-spirits, like, l-let them possess you?” I nodded slightly, "maybe thats tha best way, but, we're still lookin ... its a high cost deal, tha bigger tha Spirit, tha higher tha cost, and tha Hosemen . . .well, they embody tha four disasters, thats pretty heavy.” Invitin something strong enough ta go toe toa toe with them, might be worse then them anyways. I could call Coyote, but, Coyote aint one ta oppose Nature’s course. Cheat it, maybe, trip its minions, but not stop anyone doin what their path is.

I frowned and looked to tha poor, sobbin Spook, and offered a frownin smile, then brightens, and rummaged in my bag. Tha Little Medic said “E-emotional l-li'l gho-ghostie aint sh-she?” Tha Spook dodges herself, as others dodge bullets, she’s plenty shy, I want ta open her up, not shut her down, so I had a thought, hence tha rummaging. I said "i got somethin . . . .when Pestilence was here makin that goddess-awful stink, i thought of ya, and remembered somethin
I pulls out a box of nag-champa incense, and reached into the fire, whish still bubbled and pops with the smell of burning meat, lighting the ends of six sticks, and stuffed them into a wrinkly but still good orange, letting the aromatic and decidedly sensual smoke rise up swirl about "there, good smells” Tha Spook 's face relaxed, and dreams entered into her from the beautiful smoke, and she ceases to think quite so much...slowed down and got calm. I said "i remembered that Fleshie cultures offered burnt offerin’s ta tha spirits of tha departed, because they cant eat or drink, but can smell smoke”.

Tha Little Medic scratched at her funny little Fleshie nose. "Y-y'know, I'd b-be willing t-to offer m-myself as a v-vessel, s-since I don't h-have any supernatural p-powers." Another one willin ta lay down their very soul fer tha good of others, I reached over and laid a paw on her shoulder. "yer real brave ta offer that, Little Medic, we'll see what tha plan is, and i'll be sure ta remember ya volunteered . . ." Tha Spook desolidified a bit, and becomes full of Empty, fadin inta tha Other and makes a Silence. She looked at me real soulful like, well, kinda, deep, and looked less afraid. Tha Little Medic shuffles her feet. "A-also…uh…s-so wh-what exactly h-happens t-to the spirit wh-when the v-vessel dies?" Tha Spook musta seen many, many different sorts of outcomes. I can see a look in her eyes, guess she knows first hand, a lot of ways. 80 or so, at least. I answered "err, ya mean in general, or . . .Pestilance?” Little Medic said “I-if there is a g-general rule a-at all. I…g-guess in general” Tha Spook supposed that the lucky ones are just poured out, “like smoke from a cup” she said, but that most, though, demand ta be taken ta Hell and tortured for some reason. I never understood that, neither. Unless they knew deep down, they weren’t bein true to who they were. I said what I knew "well, if all goes well, ya get sent along to tha Next Place, through tha Other, or ya get another turn here, and get reborn and recycled”. Tha Spook told us she has never, ever met another ghost. It seems an unusual fate. I have, most of them were wretches, and needed ta get taken over tha River.

Tha Little Medic asked us “I…uh…h-have you ever r-read R-romeo and J-juliet?”
Tha Spook got excited and told us had and loved that Shakespeare guy. I frowned "thats tha same guy that did Henry Vee? about intertribal conflict and betrayal?" We got some of his stuff at Basic, teachin us about tha Glory of War, and leadership. “once more unto the breach, my friends, once more” and “we few, we happy few, we band of brothers” and all that. Stands my fur on end, even now, when I’ve given up tha Warriors Path fer tha Shaman’s Path. From a Fleshie who’s been dead hundreds of years no less. Wacky world. But I guess he wrote other stuff too. Tha Romeo and Juliet story was about two tribes at war, and two kids in tha middle, or something, not important ta our trainin, so it got missed. Tha Little Medic nods at tha Spook. "Y-you k-know th-the scene w-where J-juliet t-takes the f-fake poison, and t-tricks the family into th-thinking sh-she's dead. M-medically s-speaking i-it's possible t-to k-kill someone, th-then bring them b-back.” We’re both noddin at this stage, tha Spook remembers something in tha story, and I know ya can get flatlined on purpose and brought back. It’s a good way ta do deep surgery on a Lycan, our healin makes cutting on us difficult.

That’s tha procedure, but I think I see her plan, I asked "to shunt tha bugger out, is that what ya mean? Tha Spook told us she’d gladly trade her murky existence for the safety and happiness of Joah. Tha Little Medic went on “S-sometimes i-its used t-to d-diagnose v-very serious illnesses…anyhoo, y-yea, t-to trick i-it so t-to speak.I've a-already b-been working on s-streamlining th-the procedure, s-so it's only a m-matter of t-two injections.” Droppin Spirit Gal in tha Wide River was one of tha hardest things I’ve ever had ta do. I coulda lost her right there. Freed her, but lost my Spirit Gal to tha lands of tha Dead. Thinkin of doin it again made me swallow heavy and get tha shudders, fur ripplin over my whole body. Tha Little Medic said “S-something w-wrong?” Tha Spook wonders out loud “where the line between Death and simple not-being lay.” And then she saw me and looked afraid I was getting angry, but, no, just sad, real real sad, cause I’d failed my Spirit Gal, failed ta free her, almost, so close, but, no. I tell them what I could manage ta get out "i . . . Joah . . .she did die, a little, and it did leave her, but . . . . it came back and i did it, well, i did it my way, which is a messy way, maybe yer jabs would be better..” Tha Spook purposefully immersed herself in tha luxurious smoke and forced herself to stop having thoughts. Poor little thing. I wish I could do more fer her.

Tha Little Medic nodded, understandin my fear. "F-first off, d-don't worry, I w-wasn't thinking a-about d-doing this procedure on Joah, i-in all likelyhood h-her body is m-much too weak now t-to withstand it. B-but th-the spirit i-is more vulnerable w-when it i-is out of a b-body right?" I told them “yeah, it sure didnt like havin been booted” not sure if that made it weaker or just didn’t fulfill its mission parameters. Maybe it needed ta be in a body ta meet some criteria or something. Who tha fuck knows. I just want it outta my Spirit Gal, and outta Blue Shadow FOR my Spirit Gal. Tha Little Medic nodded and went on. "W-well, I w-was thinking, I c-could g-give someone i-instructions f-for the injections, th-then try to c-contract…err… get possesed b-by something that m-may help, a-and if i-it gets out of c-control, y-you could d-do the p-procedure. Or a v-variation on th-that plan…I d-dunno, it's p-probably a stupid i-idea.” That sounded ta me like a good plan, risky as all fuck, and really, I didn’t know if it’d make a lick of difference, but it was a solid plan. I said "thats not stupid at all Little Medic, we need ta work out what ta do ta keep tha bugger out once we boot it, and yer bootin system sounds better than tha way i managed it. which was fuckin touch and go” Tha Little Medic shrugs. "S-since th-this sort of th-thing…uh…really h-hasn't been done b-before, I v-volunteer.”

I looks over at Tha Spook and in a flash of inspiration rolls his head side to side curiously and reaches out to touch her with a claw tip, it goes in, and wafts about a little, I think I tickled her. I said "who's gunna know how ta do it right, if its you?” Tha Spook was probably thinking similarly.... she said she’d not be endangered, and can have flesh to receive injections with. And that she volunteers.” That spun me out. She could have flesh? I wonder where it’s come from, or was it just that Aether stuff that tha Messenger conjures from tha Other. Tha Little Medic went on “A-as I said, I c-can simplify th-the procedure s-so it's j-just a matter of t-two injections, I'm s-sure you, or even someone e-else could do that. A-and I h-had a thought, i-if the sp-spirit somehow m-manages t-to k-keep you from injecting m-me, I c-can do the f-first dose on a t-time release system, s-so if it grows too p-poweful, I'll die a-and it won't b-be able to harm you.”

I said "yeah, i can give jabs easy enough, hell, i was medic trained too, i even do a straight stitch, if just a little deep . . .” Tha Spook squeeked out that she’d do anythin, anythin, to help. I smiled warm like now, for the first time today at my two friends "you two are tops, ya know that? this is a big fuckin ask, we live, err , exist, in hash fuckin times, and yer both willin ta step up ta tha crease, thats tops, it really is” Tha Little Medic shruged and stared at her feet. "N-nah, I'm j-just reckless and a b-bit psychotic…" I said "ha! but yer OUR kinda psychotic” Tha Spook looked hopeful that the plan would work, and was just painfully desperately willing to take whatever risks might be required. She looked thoughtful fer a moment and said " 'Doktor' means 'speaker of the truth' Library taught me this” Tha Little Medic looked slightly nervous. "Y-yea…f-funny…I'm k-kinda a l-lier…" but I wasn’t letting this slide, praise where praise was due, they always told us that in tha Army, its good trainin technique fer Lycans, at least. I said "and you, ya wee Spook, yer real brave lookin ta go toe ta toe with these things, we all know it was hard enough fer ya ta peep up in tha first place too . there truth, then theres Truth, ya know . . . .. .” She blushed, goin a deep grey. Tha Spook blulshed and nodded fast

Tha Spook said she saw “Truth in fiction every day”. That she has been taught by Library that some Truths are only discoverable in Myth, and Fancy. She pledged herself to the endeavor, and carefully whispers "I will save Joah if it means not-being, or even Pain!" Tha Spook told us she remembers too well that she would still be a scrap of nothing blowing around the graveyard if not for the Institute. " Joah taught me what I am, and Rhaven showed me that I belong. I belong to the Institute." Tha Little Medic said “I-it's t-true they are wonderful, b-but you belong t-to yourself.” Tha Spook smiled and and hugged herself and said "Gift for Family." Family. This is my Family. My Family has been stolen. I need to save my Family. I need my Family to come back. I cant loose any more of my Family. They may die, but I cant LOOSE them, like tha Huntress. Never Again. I reached up and held Her amulet, rubbing the curved bronze glyph in my paw. Were was Her Ladyship? I need Her. Where is my Feather-Brother? Can he feel it when I rub my amulet? Do I feel it when he calls to his?

Tha Little Medic scratched her nose again. "Y-yes, I g-guess you c-can belong t-to a family and b-belong to y-yourself at th-the same time." Tha Spook smiled and it looked like she was feelin completely new feelins. I’m glad of that. I nodded, thinkin slow "and tha best is when ya can give yer all and have it all accepted, with love, fer what ya are" I kept rubbin Her amulet and looked at the empty chairs by the fire, then out tha window. Their chairs. I stood by tha fire, touchin my cushion and Spirit Gal’s cushion with my paw. I felt cold. Like ice dropped inta rum. Poppin and creakin. All I could say was "Kin, pack, Blood.” I could see tha Little Medic was getting slightly weirded out by my behavior, but said nothing. Bein a bad leader, spookin tha troops. I pulled myself tagether and said "we'll sort these buggers out, and get back our Spirit Gal, goddess damned Hosemen can get new riders” I even believed it.

Then tha cold of tha Beyond fell on us again, and Death was there. It said “Ferryman you speak ill of us” and Tha Spook recited " In the face without masks, Death is a woman." My fur bristled and I turned ta face tha Death that wore Blue. "get knotted, Thing.” I can offer defiance, I can offer hope to my Family.

But I know, better than most what will appease Death. Even a little.

Rats!

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Ash and blood smeared, water spotted entry dated 23/11/2008
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Tha runner that came from tha Shelter told us "Joah" wanted me, Her Ladyship or Denny ta meet her there, and that she needed a Vessel. Tha runner said someone named Brit was with her.
Tha Messenger said "Is probably a trap.." then as Raven's Song said "Brit?" I just yelled "FUCK" and Tha Messenger gasped "No.." I didn't wait fer nothin, pulled my mirror and did what i'd call a combat-fold. No checkin, no recon, just hopped tha Other in no-time. I flashed in ta tha Shelter lookin face ta face with my target "Hello Strong Gal . . .tha thing that look like Joah, is riding her body." hard intel out, I looked about and looked at her, fer Signs. Strong Gal nibbled her lip and said "Ethan hates bugs." She scratched slightly at a red mark on her chest near her chain. I went on "like a cheep version of what Labyrinth was, through tha Huntress Nareth." Strong Gal nodded and said "Blue did not look so good either...they are looking for a vessel..." I nodded, sniffin and lookin about. I could smell Pestilence. I knew its foul scent now. It was loose. I could scent Death too, a chalky, dusty smell. "no. they are both in our friends. They stole our friends bodies to be tha Four Horsemen." Pestilence was here. "and they can fuck. right. off."

Pestilence tilts her head slightly, her eyes hooded like she was day-dreamin. As she did, there was a skitterin sound, a scratching against the walls. I looked close to Brit's chest, well inside her personal space, and inspects the mark there. I heard Raven's Song come in lookin about cautiously, her body braced and tense at tha sounds; Strong Gal scratched more at the reddish mark. "Who are the other two?" Lookin about at the walls, she looks back to me. "If that is a rat, Ethan is gonna toss a hissy fit. He hired real people to do a toxic sweep of this place for living space."

Pestilence looks at me, mouth open, smiling, lips unmovin as handful of worms tumble from her mouth. "You want to fuck, dog?" tha whispers rasped. The scratchin in the walls got louder. I could hear it in the cabinets in the kitchen, echoing against the wooden drawers and panels. "Strong Gal . . .tha thing tha looks like Joah? its a Rider of tha Apocalypse, its Pestilance, its filth and decay, its undone tha stuff Snappypants paid fer" Tha Messenger walks around the corner, stopping as she see's the others. Raven's Song offered the young femal Fleshie quietly, " If they are, They're not reminants of what had been there. I'm doubting these are even natural... if they are." Strong Gal waved at Lia, “this ... this is Lia ... and she is way nice .... and .. .Lia, this is Grr ... and .... Rhaven .... and ..... that is Faye Li...." Lia said back ta her “I met Grr before. He saved me from a vampire!" Thought I recognized her scent, most Fleshies look alike ta me, ha, as tha sayin goes. Tha Messenger said ta Pestilence “I am the guiding light of death.. and I'll show you the way to yours, filth.” Tha kitchen drawers began ta rattle, the sound tableware clinkin, boxes knocked over in the cabinets...the scurrying in the walls.... I looked at Pestilence, ridin tha body of my Spirit Gal, as Strong Gal woulda said, one of my Beloveds. “fuckin is natural, fuckin is right, fuckin is natures way of makin more nature. you got tha right holes, Thing, but you aint part of nature,like ya said, yer before, so yeah, i want to, and you and me aint gunna. find a demon” Strong Gal was lookin real worried She whispered ta me, "you know Ethan is going to fuss....you know how he gets sometimes...." Raven's Song steadied herself, turnin in on herself as she drew tha Watchtowers, I could tell from tha energies movin around her reachin out to Tha Messenger and me with tendrils of psychic light.

Pestilence laughed. "You said fuck off, dog....I merely made the offer..." As it laughed tha cabinet doors popped open, there was tha sound of drawers bein pushed out, fallin to tha floor. A wave of rats streamed over the counters, around the counters, into the room...the air filled with their fuckin screechin and screein of claws on the tiles. I looked around "oh, nature's bounty . . . ." and I unfurled my new bull-whip and drew my little sword "stand back, meat comin up . . .” Lia gasped as she saw the rats. Palin, she backed up, Raven's Song drew a ward to her, a growin island in the chaos of writhin fur that seems to pile out of nowhere. Strong Gal blinked and looked from one to the other of us. She ran to grab Lia's hand and evaced toward tha little office so she is nearer to a door. Smart thinking, our Strong Gal. Tha Messenger stood her ground, glanced at Strong Gal briefly, showing a slight relieved smile, before glaring back at Pestilence. This was my dance. I spuns and whirled in a song of blood as from my crouch in a furious series of swings of fur and cloth, I sliced and diced tha rat tide with whip and sword. “Never. Pass up. Free. Food.” I was makin a mess. A big red and brown mess. They kept comin, mad in their sickness and hunger, and I kept cutting a swathe. Blade and lash, and little chunks of broken and busted rat.

Pestilence parts her lips, whispering something in that not-Arab language they use. As she did tha remaining rats seemed to collapse where they were, dead on the floor. The smell of rotting flesh begins to permeate the area. I massacred the rats. Pestilence upped tha stakes. Raven's Song continued to draw on the favors of gods and goddesses past, their names whispered in sweet tone under her breath. "Isis... Asate... Dianna... Hecatate..." but tha flesh of the dead rats, the ones that I splattered and the others who died at Pestilences biddin, began ta roil and ripple. The smell in the Shelter almost becomes unbearable.... So I
I stopped and flicked tha gore off his sword and sheathed it, then looks at Pestilence, and cracked my whip at her, snappin it in front of her face so that rat gore sprays her. Fuckin godlings. Least I can show my contempt fer their breakin tha cycle, by paintin them with their own wastage. I see Lia gaggin as she takes in tha scent. Then try ta keep her food down, she slapped a hand over her nose.
I stood amidst the whelter of my gory display and waved the others out "you others, who aint stood knee deep in tha blood of yer kin, out”
Strong Gal blinked in bewilderment, poor luv, she ain’t used ta this kinda SNAFU. She watched as the rat bodies piled up and at the first whiff, she brought her sleeve to her nose and blinked hard.

I saw Raven's Song grimace, trying her best to hold on ta tha contents of her stomach as she contues her chant, "Dimitre... Kali... Inanna." Again and again, she calls upon Goddesses and Watchtowers, buildin her Inner Self to send out in Golden auric waves toward me fer me ta take, and use, as needed. Bloody grateful fer that. No idea what Pestilence was gunna throw at us next. It just tilted her head back, acceptin the spray and smilin. She opened her lips, and tha expression crossin her was like she was is deep in passion. Maggots begin to drip out of her mouth, falling to the floor, rippling through the slain bodies of the multitude of rats lying at her feet. She opened her eyes fuly, looking at Raven’s Song, then at me, and laughed a sparkling, tinkly laugh. I coiled tha bull-whip and coughed, wrinklin my muzzle up, and again, I felt the light of Others reflectin through me, making my fur to glow golden. Tha Messenger glanced at the ones near her, "Come. We don't need it escaping." I slungs my whip over my shoulder and kicked a rat thigh off my paw. “we're gunna need shovels . . .” Lia gagged again even through she was coverin her mouth. Raven's Song 's head came back up and in lighter mimic of Joah's pose, her own in contrary bliss as her chantin continued, gainin in tempo; a sing song of a mantra from a soulful voice. Nice and all, but there mighta been something building. Plague Rats don’t bring much good. “out, all of you's out, this aint tha place fer plant-eaters” Strong Gal looked around at the couple of hundred of dead rats that were brought. Each of them in different levels of decay. "Um....how can we get them out of here....?" Raven's Song blinked, openin her eyes and noddin, backing her way out though still concentratin as Tha Messenger lightly tugs at her arm.

I tell them “shovels, Strong Gal, we'll need shovels but later, now, we need you out, or ya'll get sick” Pestilence bent low, pickin up the bloody corpse of one rat and rubbing it against her cheek. Tha maggots drop from tha little broken body, wrigglin away on the floor. Dropping the rat, Pestilence walked outta tha Shelter without a word. I try ta calm things, now It’s gone “Strong Gal, once this is over, we'll burn these and use tha ash ta make fertiliser fer flowers, hows that sound, nature dont abide waste” Pestilence lookd at tha Messenger as It walked by, saw her weapon and grinned. Tha Messenger glares back, "I'm coming for you."
Tha Messenger stood back. Pestilence stops turning slightly toward me. "Tilt at windmills, dog. Tilt all you like." I give It a hard look, seein if I catch a glimpse of Spirit Gal in there “till my debt is paid, you should know that, i gave my all ta two of yer kin, and i did it good.” Tha Messenger growls, knowing Spirit Gal’s still in there somewhere too. I go on. “ask yer sister how good a servant i was.”

Some fresh Fleshie chick wanders up and get slapped in tha nose with tha smell. stopin short lookin over the floor, " Oh My and i sleep here" I just opened my mirror and got out of there, back home to tha Library. Raven’s Song, and Tha Messenger ran on back after me. I picked fragments of rat off my fur and popped it in my mouth, chewin as I thought. Tha Messenger looks me over again, her eyes were still glowin white like her sword, "Did it flee?" and Raven's Song 's eyes and skin still glow with the light of Inner Self, Watchtowers ain’t something easily called or, as easily, put away. Raven's Song said “We... were up to our eyeballs in Grr's lunch. I don't think it went very far.” Pep talk time “yeah, i think we're startin ta piss it off, nice work, tha lot of ya” I finished picking big globs of rat off myself and moves to inspect the rest of my Family. Tha Messenger nods slightly, "It was.. right there.. but, so is she.." she released the sword back to the aether and the glow left her eyes.

“yeah one lob of a sword, problem solved, and . . .no Spirit Gal” I didn’t like tha thought that I might have ta do that, not thinkin in, not thinking of thinkin of it. And sure as fuck not anyone ELSE thinkin of it neither. Raven's Song sobered a moment, sendin out her Sight before calling, and thanking, the Cardinal Guardians and Goddesses alike... sending them back to their resting places. There as a feelin like altitude change, pressure let off. Blinkin again, she let herself to sink to the ground, trembling in exhaustion. Tha Messenger said “I will not take Joah..” I plucks chunks off Faye, popping each into his mouth nad chomps then away. I gave her a good lookin over, she’s been real stand-up through all this. Raven's Song said “I... I hope it doesn't have to come to that...”
It might though, if it comes ta that, better it were me. She’s make tha trip over tha Wide River better that way, I think, but I got tha feelin that tha Messenger knew what she was doin too. Somethin about that mark she put on my head, and tha Words she spoke. “it aint goin nowhere, if it comes ta that, i'll collect its fuckin head, and see her over tha River myself.” Tha Messenger nods slowly, "I'll go with you.." Raven's Song said “As will I.” I looked at them both shrewdly "you just might at that . . . " Tha Messenger said “You see why it's so hard.. accepting this..”

But I couldn’t let em all taste that cold water. I looked ta Raven’s Song, that bright, glowin gal, young and fresh, full of life and wonder “Raven's Song, no offence intended, but i think yer place is more in tha realm of tha livin. if i judge right. you dont wanna be treadin tha Realms of tha Dead.” I finish snackin off Messenger’s gore coat and moves to Raven’s Song next as Griff tha Righteous Fanger came in “good evening Omegans” Raven's Song gaze lifts ta meet mine "I'm not afraid to face my mortality. I told y'all, once, it's what I do with what I have that matters. I will stay behind, though, if that's what's needed of me." Tha Messenger said “I don't want to take her.. I didn't want to have to ever make that choice.. so I don't accept this, not what I am.” I was bein a bad host, but I managed ta get out ta Griff “not much fuckin good about it, but, hello” as Blake came in too. Raven's Song turned to Blake offering a warm smile. "Hey, boo." Tha Messenger turns, noddin a slight hello to Blake too "Hey.. sight for sore eyes.." Griff raised an eyebrow at me "Grr you look like you’ve been on one hell of a pub crawl" I was splattered with rat, burnt and charred from fightin off tha cold of Death with thermite, and still coated and matted with tha mud from tha Dark Jungle by tha side of tha Wide River where I took Joah, after Tha Thing tried ta end her ta fuckin spite me. Bastard. Tha Messenger walked up ta me, dusting herself off on the way sayin “The blood may wash away, but your blessing is true.”

“yeah, all tha best bars from Bali ta Beirut, Mogadishu ta Baghdad, i'm gunna go swim some, and get kinda clean” I bobbed my head in thanks to Tha Messenger, then puts a paw on Raven’s Song’s shoulder and padded away out the door and around the corner, too tired to walk up and down stairs. Bereft of my Spirit Gal, burnt by Sacred Fire, chilled by tha Wide River, then burnt by science, then frosted by Death Herself, then two combat-folds, and splattered in rotten scavenger as summoned by tha very Thing that stole my Spirit Gal and rode her body. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I wish Her Ladyship would come home soon, I need her strength and her wisdom.

I miss Featherpants. I miss Spirit Gal, I miss Her Ladyship. I need backup.

Second Horseman

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Ash and blood smeared entry, dated 23/11/2008
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I was still mud covered from bringin Joah back from tha clutches of Death. Spirit Gal was locked up by Tha Thing again, but Featherpants had yanked her off to some Other Place. I had been back in tha Library, tryin ta pick up tha pieces. I had given Shiny some PT, caught up with tha Messenger, and Raven's Song. Our Family was in trouble, and we needed ta regroup. We were missin Her Ladyship bad, but she was off on a tour. That meant tha role of command was on me. Not tha first time, but maybe tha most serious. Whilst Featherpants was off dealin with Tha Thing, and Her Ladyship away fer however long she was gunna be off, I had ta keep tha place together.

I was achin still from my burns, even though I'd gotten healin from Spirit Gal before Tha Thing took her again. More than that, I was chilled to tha marrow by Tha River. I could hear its song still in my head, it was callin me ta its flow. My tak there un-done, and tha longer task, my own journey on it, waitin fer me at tha end of my days. Nothin lives fer ever. Nothin that really lives, anyway. But in came Tha Thing that rode Joah. It jumped up tha mantle and begins meditatin, eyes roving from person to person below. Blue Shadow had come in a bit before and we had been talking about torture, how it was her thing, and I had argued it weren;t tha wolf in her that brought it out, but tha human. Wolves don't torture prey. They kill it and eat it after a chase. Harry, maybe, wound, yeah, but that aint torture, its tactics. Blue looked up at Tha Thing and grumbled, but all but ignored her fer a bit. It bothered ME though "beats me why tha Library dont object ta It, but She doesnt." I said, Messenger took a good look at It too, but It spoke at us "You mean the Old Woman in the Walls?" It smiled down at me, It looked so much like Spirit Gal's smile, but, not, tha eyes, tha eyes were wrong, I couls See It, and It knew I could. "you know who i mean." I said back ta It, I wan't in tha mood fer its games, in my home, with my Family, and our guardian spirit. Blue speaks up, a little confused. "There was this thing scampering around in here yesterday... where did it go?" I ask her if she means our spook, she blinked and looked surprised "is that what it is?" so I asked her if she was talkin about a wee ghostie.

Raven's Song was curious about it too, but Blue Shadow went on. "I don't know I never seen a ghost before... it was white and trying to hide behind things" Sounds like her ta me, Messenger agreed "I remember a spirit 'ere before. She 'ad a wand or a scepter some sort." I tried something, a touch of tactical mis-information "we think she was one of tha original Libraians, from before tha disaster. she's shy" no harm in sayin so, I could fix Blue Shadow up with tha truth later but Tha Thing couldn't help but correct me from stolen memories "Dryl is more of an it, really," she grinned. "Or rather, many its. It looks like a hairless she-rat," Tha Thing wearin Joah said mildly. "There are men and women and animals and vermin inside it " Blue Shadow looked up at Tha Thing "You.. where are the other three"? It glanced back at Blue. "Three?" she smiled and waved Its hand at the hearth. The flames began ta sputter as if dying, and a chitterin sound came outta tha chimney.

I looked over at tha Messenger and Raven's Song "tha ghostie is a she, whatever else she is, or what she's made of, she's a bein and she's real alone, poor critter, couldnt make it over tha River and now she's stuck her till she's ready again all life clings ta life. tha Other is a frightenin thing," as Blue Shadow snarled up at Tha Thing, "You are only one of four don't act stupid with me" Tha Messenger glanced at Blue and back up to Tha Thing, "If she still insists she's Joah.. she wont give us any answers.." I was getting more and more pissed, Tha Fire was a sacred gift, given to us through sacrifice and love, and it always burned ta offer warmth nad harmony ta all who came to sit by it. Blue knew it too and crossed her arms, "Joah wouldn't hurt the salamanders" but tha Thing only looked at Blue, grinnin. The sound in the hearth becomes louder, scuttling and clicking. The flame dies down almost too embers. To sets of eyes can be seen peeking over the logs, two tails siwshin in alarm, before there is a pop and the two salamanders vanish. Poor little buggers. "they've retreated ta their Other" I could see them go, at least they'd be out of Its reach there. The chitterin, whirrin sound was growin louder. Tha Thing looked at Blue, "You want to know where they are?" Raven's Song cursed low at tha treatment of tha Fire Salamanders and Blue Shadow, who was a practicing fire-caster, stared at the fire. I could see her gaze which was usually cold and hard was now filled with burnin hate. Her hands sparked with a few flames. "Fuck you, stop it you aint Joah. WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE YOUR SLAVES". She breathed deep controllin her temper, "Don't hurt the salamanders, this isn't how it was meant to be". I offered a prayer ta tha Sacred Flame, letting it hear my call.

That's when a stream of cockroaches poured down outta the hearth and straight toward Blue. Right about when tha Messenger asked "What do you even want?" I offered my paws to tha fireplace, and to tha cockroaches, letting tha magics flow through me. But tha Thing opened Its mouth, and more bugs streamed from outta her lips and dropped on the floor. "I want nothing...." the sound of many whispers echoes, Joah's mouth unmoving. Blue Shadow clenched her fists her eyes rolled to tha back of her head as her own fire engulfed her body in defence, "Grr tell it tell the Library to let me scorch the pests". Well, see, folks assume I control tha Library, I helped bring it ta Life, but its more like I got keys, but I don't drive tha car. It drives itself. In this instance, it didn't mind one but, and between Blue and me, we gave tha bugs something ta get hot under tha wing flaps about, and each of the cockroaches became livin fire, and got swept back into the grill, where they rekindled the logs Raven's Song gasped sharply she wasn't at all happy with tha bugs, me, I don't mind em, good scavenger food, fulla protein and crunchy too.

I did something I don't often do, I gave voice to my prayer in Fleshie terms "hear it well, oh yea of Gaia's children all life is sacred, and mark those that can call them for right or wrong, all can burn with the Sacred Fire". I looked up at Tha Thing "yeah . . . i been lookin inta you. Thing" Blue muttered somethin as tha flames moved but I had somethin else ta say to tha salamanders "stay away, little friends, for a while, till tha one who wears your Shepherds Skin is gone, and Phoenix's Child returns to us, tha Spirit Gal, in all her wonder."

Tha Thing stopped meditatin and leapt lightly to tha floor, landin in a crouch then stood quickly. Her eyes followed Blue, disregardin me. Blue looked at her cautiously, "Where are they? You know me you would if you know Joah". Tha Thing just reached out fer her "Sister," the whispers echoed. More roaches, now worms, and other creatures slithered from her mouth. Tha mouth I like ta kiss. " fuckin Godlings" then It rushed toward Blue, vermin spilling from her open mouth as she kisses her full on the lips. Blue flinched, bringin her fire back up, but all she got was a few sparks before it died due to the expendture before. She relaxed against Tha Thing, her eyes closin and the glow diein down. Tha Messenger gasped, runnin over and tryin to push Blue away from Joah. I knew what was happenin now. So I just stood by tha fire lookin at tha little flamin bugs brushin them back in with the shovel if they tried to make a run fer it.
“Messenger . . .dont, Blue knows what is comin.” I could see tha Messenger and Raven’s Song both strainin ta get in there and help, horror in their eyes, ta stop this Thing from doin what it was doin. Wasn’t till I saw tha bugs that I Knew. It all came tagether, though.

Tha bugs swarm over Blue, runnin through her hair, over her skin. Tha Thing embraced Blue like a lover, Its hand cupping her breast, her mouth seeking Blue's own. A stench of rotting carrion fills the room. I wasn’t expectin that. Blue wraped her arms around It takin what It offered, her hands roamin down Joah's back, her form dropped revealing what she truely looked like. I seen it a few times, when she slips, Blue’s Demon form suits her better, I think. I was never human, so I don’t got their prejudice about what “proper” people look like. This weren’t that ha time ta be admirin tha demon, we were bein visited by a Power. I held the fire shovel in the flames, waitin, it was getting hot, tha edge takin on a low cherry glow, and I was planning ta use that, if needs be. My two were still edgin close, wantin ta help, “Raven's Song, this wont be pretty . . . “ I said. She’s talented, but, not used tat ha horrors, yet, and I didnt want ta have her head broken by it. She kept watchein on, mouth agape and violet eyes still wide through her finge of hair. Shaking her head, she slides her gaze to Grr, her voice a hoarse, shocked, whisper..."...my strength is yours." She murmured softly.

Tha termperature in the room began ta drop noticeably, I could feel it through my fur, the smell got thicker as Tha Thing pressed into Blue, hands carressin her back, her waist, her hips. I poked at the fire, buildin it up with care. I didn’t take my eyes away from tha fire, but I was sniffin continuously and had both ears swiveled to the couple. I heard tha rip-tear of Blue’s shape-shift and heard her mutter something in a language I don’t know, sounded kinda Arabic, but, not.
Frost began to coat tha chairs and the smell of rottin meat and vomitous skankafied the air. Tha flames in the hearth begin sputtering and dying down, just a wisp of smoke coming from the embers. Beside me, tha Messenger started ta shiver. Fuckin Godlings. I squinted hard at tha fire, trying ta See if it was qushed, stilled or what and had an idea. "Messenger, in my pack, second pocket, left hand side, there is a can, get it out” Tha Little Medic crept inta tha room, and came up beside us as tha Messenger rummaged in my pack, and I could feel Raven’s Song’s energy building and slippin my way as tha Messenger hands me tha steel can. See, I was trained in breakin things. People, places, gear, infrastructure. I know how ta make things burn. I opened tha can tossed a pawfull of tha stuff inside onto tha flames. Tha Messenger is starin at me, and I hear Tha Thing in Joah take a step towards me as Tha Thing in Blue said “Do you really want to do that, hound?” That’s when tha fistful of thermite hits the fire, and burts forth in a flare of bright white light as it reaches a sustained 1200oC. I know my trade. I manage ta turn me head aside but I still winced as my fur singed at tha flash of heat, Joah’s Rider laughed at me but I get a soft hiss breaking from Blue’s Rider, the cold that emanates from her was the cold touch of Death. It would chill the bones of those who could feel it and I was still cold from Tha River. Her River. "Die fire... I tire of you". Fuck this shit. I flicked more of tha thermite in, eat hot science, godling. As tha flare hits, drivin back tha cold one burst at a time, I managed ta bark out “Fuck. Right. Off.” I could feel some of my fur catch. That’s when Joah’s Rider magiced tha can outta my paw and laughed at me. Tha hearth got cold. My fur went out. Small mercies.


I still had my eyes squinted shut, against tha sting and burn. I hear them kiss again as Death’s voice comes from Blue "Let them play their games, we have no use for them". Now I Name one, the others come forth, Pestilence said "Dogs who play with fire..." Chilled, twice burnt and defeated on my own turf I know I can’t fight them head on, but I can give them a piece of my mind so I growled at them a halting voice. Seemed I had burnt my throat too "you can leave my home now . . ." Death better get used ta it, Tox ain’t Rainbow-land not many here will be cowed by them at face value. “We are going, but I will return for you, Ferryman when the time comes” I crack an eye at that, shit. It Knows. Well, I guess It would, and I just took a bath in tha Wide River, how could It not . . . Tha Little Medic is fixin up some sort of lotion, on a cloth, lookin at me, I musta been a right mess. That’s when Pestilence tried ta stick tha boot in "You know the River...the one you love so well...." tried and hit tha mark. Bastard. “fuchhk offfghh. you khhnow nothhink of what i lovghhh” that’s all I could hear myself say, but they got my point. Bastards. All I could do was glare, still smoking, fur from my front all but gone, some skin blackend and cracked under that. I could feel tha Messenger there, and Raven’s Song. Tha Little Medic stepped up ta dab me with something cool and soothing,

The flame in tha fire continued to glow brightly, again but instead of the smell of woodsmoke, there is the smell of rats full of maggots, rotting fish, and vomit. It permeateed the flames...they started lookin and felt...wrong. Fuck. Tha Messenger asked me "What 'appened Grr? Are they both taken?" all icould do was nod, as I got lotion nabbed on me, and I started ta heal tha burns.
Tha Messenger clenched her fists and uttered a slow breath, "Damn.. it." Out in tha street I heard Pestilence speak ta Death "We are not yet whole. Our brothers have not come to the city, And the Sariel is a problem that must be dealt with." My nose was burnt bad and was bleedin from it, so I got Wire ta tend it first. I hyperventilated, then got still, and stoped breathin, trembling a bit and noded ta Wire who started ta tend my snout. Raven’s Song was feedin me healin too, which went a long was as well. "We must find the vessels" Death’s icy voice from tha street I could hear tha Messenger’s teeth grind and tha Little Medic patted me on tha back as I stood there tremblin. "R-remember to b-breath buddy." Raven’s Song asked "This has just gotten tenfold harder, hasn't it?"
Tha Little Medic keeps dabbin my nose with antiseptic then used some jelly ta sooth it. I whined at the touch, bit didn’t budge, or flinch or nothin, utterin a "uhn nuun" She gave me a bottle of sport drink ta have, and I guzzled it, that helped a lot. “i think they were ALL in Joah, now there's one less . . .” Raven’s Song catches on an idea “So, this... Toru thing... was Legion?”

Now, I tried ta get this clear in me head as I said it, and I think that it was comin tagether fer them too. “no, but i think they are goin fer Him, Her . . .It , , , next, i think thats what they were talkin about as they left. We need ta get a warnin ta Lorne, that they're Two now” my nose healed enough fer tha stink ta hit me proper then "oh, Goddess, what tha fuck is THAT?" like bein dumped head first in a market tip in Timor after a big weekend party. Tha Messenger thought we’d have been better if it stayed in her. It was in her, and jumped ta Spirit Gal, when we booted it. As much as I was tearin me up inside that it had taken MY Spirit Gal, as much as I wanted that cup ta be passed ta someone elses, I couldn’t wish it on another of my Family. I would rather kill Spirit Gal than let her be taken forever, and burn on tha Sacred Fire ta save her, but I couldn’t wish it on one of mine. Raven’s Song summed that up with “We couldn't have let that happen, Faye. You're Family... and besides that, if we had let them have you... you're the Messenger. I can't imagine how much worse things would have been. What good are you? How much of this would we have been prepared for without you? How many of us would still be standing if you weren't here to forewarn us, and lend us your help and knowledge? What good are you? You’re EVERY good.”

We all tended each others wounds, physical, mental and spiritual fer a bit, I told them about Pestilence killin Joah, and my trip to tha Wide River. Thats what it meant about "my beloved River" fuckin bastard. Tha Wide River is not somethin ta love, its somethin ta respect, if not fear. I ask them “tha Wide River . . .do ya know what that is? i'm not sure if i made that clear . . . its why they called me ferryman . . . tha old Greeks called it Styx, its somethin Lorne and me got in common, he can go back and forth, but it takes a Mortal ta be a Ferryman.” Tha Messenger shakes her head, at tha understandin, and Raven’s Song just looks at me funny "Wow... I swear, I had no idea what I'd be walking into when I stepped off that ship. The Ferryman... The River Styx. Every myth and legend I'd ever read... Wow." I kinda shrugged "part time job . . . . kinda like . . . . community service . . . . its somethin my kind has always taken a share of . . . tha Wild Hunt, tha Black Dog, Anubis, tha Hound of tha Baskervilles, its awright, Raven's Song, i ain’t no mythic figure, i just got a lot of hats, is all.” I think about that fer a bit, mullin it over in me head, and I tell them. They are Family, they need ta know, so I tell them. I told them my Name, in my own tongue “i am Praetor of Her Ladyship, Omega, tha Keeper of Eden's Soil who Burns with Sacred Fire, Her Beloved, Shaman and Four-Leg born, Coyotes Left Paw, Psychopomp and Watcher. “ I think I kinda was in shock, from tha cold, from tha fire, from witnessin all of this. Loosin Spirit Gal. Maybe that’s it, I wasn;t strong enough ta save her, and I needed ta tell myself who I was. So, in chant, I told them. “Once packless, once Pack Scout Leader, Once Pack Hunter Leader, Once Pack Hunter, AWOL and Kinslayer. Platoon Sergant 7RAR-L, 7RAR-L Special Ops- 0571, Specimen 071239 "Gabriel", Grr. i am Grr. i am. Kin. Pack. Blood.” I got real quiet and just stared at tha fire. swayin, hypnotised by the fire and nods slowly at Wire's words "Well…g-give me a c-call if y-you need me."

Raven’s Song said to us all, "I stand with you, and proudly." Then I hear, far away like, Tha Messenger sayin “Blood..GrrBrool.. I 'ave an odd request.” That snaps me out of it a bit, my name, my full name bein pronounced, even by a Fleshie throat “I... 'ave a blessing to give you.. You're kind of tall, I need to see your fore'ead. Ah.. I need.. uh.. a knife..” I crouched and both me and Raven’s Song pulled our blades, me my sturdy KA-BAR, her, a little punch dabber outta ber boob-cleavage."Um... you didn't see that." Tha Messenger takes her little one, and I sheathe my heavy. She tries ta fob it off . "Um... mines a letter opener?" She’s was never good at lying. Tha Messenger took a breath, obviously a little troubled by somethin, but cleared her throat and held the knife across her palm a moment. Then with a slight whimper sliced across it. Then she settled tha knife on the ground, dabbin her fingers in the blood. She traced a markin on my noggin, murmurin something under her breath, if it's even words. A word. An Old Word, of Power. She looked at me a moment and the mark she left, then handed the knife back to Raven’s Song. Somebody came boltin in to tha Library, and I stood up from my kneelin, a Fleshie female she blurted "Someone named Joah needs... Grr.... Omega.... or someone else to bring a vessel. Anyone named Grr.... Omega... or.... Denny?"

I just start ta see red. “i BET she does, yeah, i'm Grr, fuckin gready bastards.” She said “Grr... someone named Joah needs you” Raven’s Song asked where as tha Messenger tended her cut hand. Tha Fleshie said, still pantin “Shelter, By the hospital. With that nice girl, Britt.”

All I could think was FUCK. I didn’t even think ta run, I took out my Mirror, and went through tha Other. Thinkin “Not Strong Gal too . . . . .”