Musins on tha world

((original idea swiped from ))

Gone Fishin

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Pencil note on water spotted paper, with greasy spots smelling of creole spices dated 16/6/08
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I tracked My-She's scent through South Tox to tha bay, and off by tha breakwater I saw her, sittin starin out over tha breakers so I took a swim. Tha water in tha bay is oily, but tha surf keeps it from bein too stagnant. On tha way over, as I paddle as quiet as I can, I spy some movement under me. "Always take an easy meal" my drill instructors used ta say. So I duck-dive, pullin my short sword free as I do and hit bottom. It ain't natural, a Shifter in War-Form on tha sandy bottom of a bay in amoungst tha rocks, but then again a shark would have ta have some -big- balls ta try me. Croc's too, they're tasty. But taday I had crab in my sights. A fast thrust and press and my prey was well and truly McFucked. Half way down my blade and wrigglin as I surfaced and clamboured up tha rocks to My-She.

I shook tha water off and brandished my trophy, my food offerin ta My-She.
"err, i got dinner . . ." She smiled ""is it ok if i want my share cooked?" I told her i can do that too, My-She looked past me at somethin "walking on water... i thought only one guy in history did that." I asked "Bob?" as Sorenz nodded a greeting to us, the fishing couple as he put it. My-She greeted him whilst I wrestled with the big blue crab " hi Sorenz, how are you?" he said he was fine and asked if there were any bites?. I waved my crab on the sword "just tha one, but i fucked his shit RIGHT up." he said that it looked right tasty and if we weœe gonna steam it or broil it. My-She laughed and told him we were gunna
bbq it.

"i got drift wood, and cyclohex tabs" as I sheathed my sword holdin tha crab in one paw fishin in my pack. My-She asked "cyclowhat?", so I told her "fire starters" and she got a funny look in her eyes "um.. my One?, my most amazing One? um.. see..." I frowned and bashed the crab, tryin ta make a break for it "im a witch.. right?" she went on as I was distracted "mmm? Wait, which?"
She went on "um.. one thing i can do is .. start a fire" Obvious. What a drongo, of course she can! So i grined and ploped the deadish crab on the driftwood. She just looked at the wood and it burst into flame, then glancin at me says "such is....."
and I finish fer her "YOUR awesome power!" SIMAP. Tha true source of force. Understandin tha part Will plays in makin shit happen. She nods and cackles "ok.. chalk up another use for me.. good for when the power goes out . I poked at the sizzlin crab on the cackling driftwood fer a bit. Tha shades of tha flames were really. I bet they were pretty colours too.

"ya know, My-She, this is a really beautiful spot ya invited me ta dinner at" go me pullin out tha smooth lines. My-She reached into a pouch and pulled out a palmful of Old Bay Seasoning and sprinkles it on the crab, which sets me ta droolin as she says " t'was a good spot to come think" I want ta make it over her walls, not bust through em. Infiltrate, not assault. I, really, really think I love her. At least, I think that’s what this feelin is. I don't know what I wouldn't do fer her. don’t know what i'd do without her. "I, erm, like bein here with ya" stunnin wit again from tha Shifter. She smiled "i like being anywhere you are" a keep at it, "almost looks peaceful, dont it?" She looks back over my way, ta Tox. "it is peaceful, i havent heard gunfire all day" almost there, I try one more, "it is, now, with ya here, and some sizzly crab". My-She sighs "i'm sorry i stomped off, my One, just being a moody bitch.. i really am sorry" I think of somethin quick, point up at the sky, "see that glow?, thats tha moon . . . ha. truuuust me, i get it. My-She looks and sighs again "the full moon is still more than 2 days off"

"I get pissy fer worse reasons than some snooty trouble maker who was pusshin EVERYBODYS buttons" My-She looks at me "wasn't Spa..and she best not be thinking i left because of her self importance" but I try ta keep tha talk flowin. "I meant Kaine.." not tha right answer either. "oh I’m not upset at him either." I take a moment ta flip the crispy crab, singin my paw in tha process as she goes on "about what was offered him, yes" she catches me burnin myself "goofy mutt it's hot" which leads ta tha inevitable "thats what that stuff is right?" she looks at tha crab then at me, lickin my paw. "the red stuff is spices" so I blow a raspberry and steal a crispy leg "or are you meaning the fire...." I wink "yeah tha MOVIN hot stuff, ha." I pop tha whole leg, shell and all inta my mouth and munch it. All goodness, and go on. "so, whats tha trouble with kaines possition?" My-She breaks off a leg and snaps the end from it .. sucking the meat and juices and spices from it "ages ago.. while I was still a coven member.. i offered.. to Miss and to Tony.. to help run the coven.. my offer was turned down so i end up in the haven... which was a happy thing because we met there and now in the OI.. where im sorry but i feel less than useless much of the time. and kaine gets asked to go to the coven to help run it" we pause ta eat more legs as they cook

"yer dream post, goin ta loser after loser, fuck, thats tough" My-She is a tough kitty though, just shrugs "not my dream post.. but at least something i might be useful at" so I try ta lighten her mood as best as I can, barracks-style "well . . . . maybe if he had . . . .an accident . . . 'oops, Kaine's fuckin head fell off and got hit by a tree chipper' . . . ha" but she looks at me with a mock witherin stare "you know better than that. there is a reason there are no chippershredder things in Toxia, they wont let you have THAT much fun, sorry, my One". Well what can I say ta that, but I think my ploy worked. I grab the crab, snaps it in two with a flick of my wrist and claws and pass one steaming spicy half over, the more spiced and less burnt half.

"did i explain about the dead dinos?" She gave me a shirt. I kill shirts. This one read "tha dinos, I kilied them" she picked a large juicy hunk of crab meat from her half.. and holded them out for me to nibble. Typical, she's so good ta me. "naw, ya didn't, .please?" so, she does. "well..there is this sex toy.. called an eroscillator, it's one of those things a guy should never ever guy his lady. because they are so amazing as to render the guy completely unneeded. apart from cooking and cleaning, taking the garbage out, and um.. dead things..yeah, so anyway.." I butt in"can ya smash spiders with it?" stoppin her fer a moment "i um.. have said device.. um.. if i was inclined to get THAT close to a spider... maybe." more chance fer mistchief. "i get weekends off for beer and sport! And make my yobbo face. "wait wait wait, what kind of sport?" woops. She's got me now. I don’t no anythin. " uhh...cricket?"
My-She looks amazed "do you actually understand that game?" but that gives me a out "ahaha, NO ONE understands that game thats why it takes three fuckin DAYS, ta TEST . . .ahhaahah" My-She looks amused. I win. "brits.. what do you expect, anyyyyyyyyyyyyway i have the aforementioned device and at one point in time... used it on my dearest friend Kaj. who now lives in utter terror of it.. so.. the other day.. we were all standing and talking.. and somehow.. she brought up the eroscillator... and i had to sadly explain that it was dead... that i had killed it... she goes "you killed your erosothingie? and Master... almost as goofy as you can be... goes.. "wait!!! you killed a velociraptor??" hence.. the tshirt. I just burst out lauguin.

I almost roll inta tha bay as she mutters ta herself "it made more sense in my head at the time..." but i'm awready plannin, "oh, i cant wait to show them, thats CLASSIC "she killed it . . .with her PUSSY" " and she laughs "i knew right then that a) i would make the tshirt and b) you of all people would truly enjoy wearing it once you knew the back story" so I keed at it "i'd be afraid, but im too aroused" which causes her ta giggle "afraid of a pussy??" wind up, "hell YES, if it can kill a velociraptor, whats it gonna do to ME" which makes her cough "the question really is.. do you care that much? you would die happy...after all.. they did.." she wrinkled her nose "can i keep you alive instead?" so I tell her I prefer option TWO and she agrees, claimin the only use for a dead wuff is as a rug, and they STILL shed, that i give good hug and i cook and i make her smile. so alive it is, ok? I pipe up "or even undead" which she answers "either or" but then frowned .. thinkin. "but you aren't... so... planning to become undead?"

"err, no. i like bein me. and brains .. . kinda bland and mushy" I make a zombie face. She leans over and kisses me, face and all "i kinda like you being you too. lets catch more crabs and cook them over the fire in tha library, feed tha Family" I flick out my short sword with a flourish, she told me ta be careful with it in her face and grinnin we went swimmin and crabbin. I wanted to give Choi crabs, so she could take them back to share with Jon. I’m a givin critter.

Mission: accomplished!

Dimentox's Gift, Omega's Delight.

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A pencil entry, in a very messy hand, messier than normal dated 13-06-08
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It was a quiet night by tha fire. I was sittin listenin ta small talk when with a flurry Her Ladyship and Ry come in in a swirl of smiles. Brings a leap ta my heart ta see Her so pleased. A strong and happy Leader makes fer a strong and happy Family. Their small-talk is easy and light, matchin thier moods. Ry and me got a good thing goin. Him and My-She are like cousins. I like tha big lion. He's got style and my low sense of humour. He makes Her and She happy. What else could a critter ask fer in a brother? Tha peace don't last long though.

Beaumont, one of Dimentox's sprogs sauntered in with a snear and a waft of vaseline. Charmin fella. Considerin his Sire killed one of my Kin in tha Haven outta hand ta send a message i guess my opinion is coloured. Still. Tha contempt from tha man was thick in tha air. He comes in disdainfully sits and -tells- Her Ladyship we need more chairs, cause last time him and his brood-mates met, one of tha dears had ta stand. Do em good I say. Not like they work tha fields or anythin.

He makes some jibes ta Her Ladyship about tha company She keeps. How tedious it must be fer Her ta be surrounded by "flash in tha pan" bein's like me, Ry and all us "mortals". I remind him of tha sayin "tha candle that burns twice as bright..." cause he rankles my hackles. I know he could wipe tha floor with me, if he felt like it. His Sire's power surges through him. I can sense it. But I don't like tha assuption of superiority. Power don't make a better Bein. Her Ladyship made comment on how Dimentox had been content with how She ran things in Her House well before -he- had appeared "unsaught and unannounced"

Then he makes a tellin mistake. Like I say. I might not be his peer, but neither is he, Her peer. He remembered aloud that he had a message and a Gift fer Her from Dimentox, and crossed tha space from where he sat ta Her. Reached out ta touch Her. I outta respect fer Her, and ta show She didn't need any guards, but that she had them, I looked away. Left him ta do what he would. So I didn't see what happened. I just hear Her Ladyship call out "do NOT touch me, Childer", and he was rebuffed.

Now I watched him as he stood, glowerin for a moment, before turning his eyes on me and sayin ta her "fine then, I will give it to yer mutt instead." and zapped me. With, somethin. I felt like i'd had a bucket of warm water poured slow over me, warmin me. There was a smell of sudden blood. Tha smell ya get when someone next ta ya gets a fist sized hole shot outta their chest by a sniper, or if ya tear someones arm off. That blood spray smell. I sat, and wondered if I was dead but didn't know it yet. I sat for a second or two. Just breathin and blinkin. Was only a few days since I got Healed. I got stuff ta do, I don’t got tha time nor luxury of bein dead.

Beaumont sits back down as Her Ladyship goes off Her nut at him. Callin him fer touchin me, he backed outta that sayin he didn't -touch- me, which he didn't. He -zapped- me. She asked if I was awright. Ry looked nervously between us all. He's got spirit, my Lion-brother does, but this was heavier shit than he was expectin. Someone asked how I felt, if I was ok. I let em know I wasn't hurt, but I was pissed. Pissed and desperate not ta shame Her Ladyship by startin some shit in Tha Library of all places. So I stood up. Took my time. Casual as I could show. I reached and pushed Ry ta one side, partially ta give me clear line of sight, partially ta get him clear of tha danger zone and partially ta make a point ta Beaumont that his "gift" was ta no crazed mutt, but a Praetor of Tha Omega Institute, a proud and free Lycan.

I took a pad closer and addressed him as formal as I could. Thanked him fer Dimentox's Gift. Let him know it was appreciated, as was tha gesture and that I hoped his Sire would be happy it had been bestowed on a mear mortal, just a Lycan, and that in a few short years when I was dead and dust, the memory of tha Gift would still be cherished fer what it was. I stood, waitin, waitin, as Her Ladyship suggested in terms as sharp as tha onion chopper I wear at my side, just how much She thought of his stunt, that if Dimentox wanted ta send Gifts he was always welcome, as he ever had been, and had no need to send messenger boys.

Beaumont musta got tha hint. Got in a huff too, and told us Dimentox was too busy. That pretty much summed up his visit. Shortly after he made a break fer it and left us in peace. Once he did I sat back down and told em all again I was ok. Which I was. Felt kinda funny, but I was ok. Seemed tha effect of tha zappin had worked its way ta Her Ladyship roundabouts, must have been tha smell, cause as soon as She stopped bein angry, She headed fer tha stairs, callin ta Ry ta join Her, commenten in a husky voice that tha smell of blood had kinda distracted her. I quietly kept tha others occupied, givin Ry a sidelong smile and a wink. Talkin ta tha faces that came and went.

All too soon though, Rh had ta flit, a Pet's duties were never done, it seemed and it was with edgy steps that I heard Her Ladyship return, still distracted and restless. She walked past us all over ta tha far window and looked out. I caught Her eye and was a touch worried. I left tha others ta tha talk of Tha Reckonin, and their plans and motivations. Crossin tha floor I paused ta look ta both doors.
Force of habit. Never can be too careful. I pad over to tha far window where She waits. She's absent mindedly touchin tha window frame, lookin pailer than normal. I'm guessin that She didn't get much of a feed.

"Did you smell it? Smell the blood? It filled the room" I nod to Her. I more than smelt it, I felt it. She looks at me, and I get swept up in tha depth of Her history. Not age. History. I see tha Predator in Her, but know no fear in it. Its one way we're equals. I heard gossip that Her Ladyship feeds on all Her Praetors, but actually She don't. It ain't a part of tha job. She only feeds on a handfull all told. Several have held that Rank. Some never would. I don't know how She decides. I think its different fer each. But She only feeds from willin, healthy folks. She don't share. She's not over fond of, animals neither. I guess I’m kinda an exception. I always been in my Fleslie form for Her, previous. I see Her need. I feel it. It don't scare me, even though I seen what can happen. Tenguska. Poncho's throat all but torn out.

I pad up and asked Her if She wanted me ta Shift. She shook Her head. Fergettin, I figure, that it don't hurt me not a bit anymore. Just waves me close and holds me. She's warm, but less so than a Fleshie. Tha Fire-Within. Pale though, very pale. I offer her my hand, rollin wrist up ta show where my fur is thinist. Hair, hoof or horn. Don't bother me none, but Her Ladyship is discernin. With a sigh she looks up and asks. She always asks. Always asks and always uses my Name. I strengthen tha Family with my body and blood. I feed a friend, who I trust, and love. Its a bond of a pack. Ta share. Ta give.

She takes my wrist ta Her mouth and with a final look, ta my nod, She bit down. Here's tha thing. Ya take from life what it gives ya. At Her bite I hear tha wind in tha tall grass,that endless woosh of free scrub. Tha soft earth under paw, tha chase with tail held high. As I was, in my War-Form, I get big. I'm healin almost as fast as She's feedin. Tha call of tha wind is tha reminder as we leant against tha window. I'm still scannin, chow time's a perfect ambush time. Princess Miss strides by and I answer her grin and wave with a sleepy nod of my own. Her hunger is deep, but not urgent and I ain't fadin, not like durin tha New Moon.

Clingin, once She's had Her fill, I wrap Her in my arms, lettin tha feelin make itself known more than my crappy talkin can. I had clawed tha wall sometime as She had fed. Four gouges in tha stone, fresh and raw. I had marked Tha Library. I looked at my wrist, damp from Her mouth and red with a trickle of my blood. I knew in a flash what to do. Dippin a claw in my blood I started ta scribble in tha gouges my message. Footsteps, scent, voices.

My-She has come. I turned and grinned lazily ta her as tha two of them embraced. I kept scribblin as Her Ladyship told My-She that She'd just had a very sweet drop, and wondered if she'd like a taste herself. I winked ta My-She and kept scribin my message. Had ta be quick, or else it'd dry. I'd already fully healed. They kissed, deeply and My-She did get a taste of me from Her Ladyships still bloody lips. When they parted, both of em looked at me, nodding, as I finished my marks, then back to each other. Her Ladyship wondered aloud what My-She might taste of. "fire and spice, Lady" came the answer. Tha lights of passion were in both their eyes and my nose flared at tha smell of My-She's arrousal. Again, She asked, and My-She made it very clear she too, wanted to give, nurture and be Known by taste. Its our Way. In our Natures.

Her Ladyship held My-She close again, cradlin her head in one hand and slippin tha other down her spine ta tha base of her tail. Ta that sweet spot where ass meets tail and tail becomes spine. Tha hollow. Her Ladyship stretches up as My-She leans in and mouth meets neck. Fangs I know are there do their job and I see tha shudder roll through her. I finished my scribble and turn propper around, and take tha step ta touchin range, and wrap them both in my arms. Close, warm, and held. I got long arms, and even though i'm not as meaty as some of my Kin, not too boney. Tha fur helps too, I been told. Her Ladyship is gentle. She ain't have a reason ta rush, She's savourin and My-She knows it too, I think. Eventually they break and for a moment we just stand, held and holdin before Her Ladyship moves and with a smile moves off, ta take her seat passin Belshazaroth, who I think was pissy at not bein seen as a snacky-treat fer Her Ladyships amusement.

Like I said awready, She is paticular about who She feeds offa. Her Praetors ain't meal-tickets. She only takes what’s given. She don't drink from bags nor communal sources, be they Pools or Blood Dolls like Bel. I don't know why she choses some and not others. Ain't my business. My business is ta see ta tha needs, safety and security of my Family. I do so outta love, respect and instinct.

I was starvin. Whatever Dim's sprog had zapped me with was reduced ta a throb by Her Ladyship, so I suggested a trp to tha Diner for my special burgers. My-She, Blaze and me weœe gonna eat, Her Ladyship would join us for earthy company, and a feelin of tagetherness. Ta make sure My-She and me looked after our needs too. Which we did, burgers. Then fixed a gas-leak. Ask Choi about that sometime.

What did I scribe in my fresh, Dimentox-boosted blood inta tha livin stone of Tha Library? Tha start of somethin bigger. A warnin. A Mark.

I am GrrBrool.
I am a protector of this place
Bring no ill will,
Know no dread.

Healing Old Wounds

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Pencil entry dated 9/6/08 Two different pencils had to be used due to the length
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Dear ratty old notebook, I got some bloody brilliant news. i been runnin about doin stuff, feelin good, livin life to busy ta write about my amazin good fortune. My amazin friends. My amazin Family. My amazin love.

Last week I got a call that a body had been found, second one like it, and another set of eyes would be useful. I arrive as Jon, Poncho and Her Ladyship are talking quietly. They fill me in but there isn't much to tell about what was already a cleaned scene. "err, i think i need ta see tha first body . . i might be able ta tell somethin from it . ..bodies i know . . ." Poncho looks over to Her Ladyship to confirm, who nods. Poncho looks over "First body is in the morgue, follow me" Her Ladyship agrees "Yes, I think that is a wise idea" and we head over. When we get there I look about and speak quietly "Ladyship . . ." She answers, She always uses my Name. "Yes, GrrBrool?" I go on as I slide open the cabinet I smell fresh kill on, even with my Fleshie nose. "ya know, i hid out in here fer a while . . . always quiet in here, no one tryin ta Hunt, AND, tha smell masks mine . . ." I look at the body "so, whatcha gonna show me, meaty-chunks?"

Poncho hands me a folder, "Heres what we've recieved thus far." he's a good fella, sharp, deed seein, good head on his shoulders. A Leader. I look through the file. A letter. Crazy stuff. I look back at tha body. "huh. cut, fast slash, right ta left, sharp, maybe claw, could be a serrated knife, oooohkay. ya been gutted, aintcha? missin some liver, . . .good eatin in liver . .. looks like some of tha ribcage came away, thats some serious force . . . other organs just kinda shredded. I don't get fazed by meat, unless it's got a face I care about. Poncho nods, taking down the notes, surprised when I stop, hand still in the cavity and look up sharply. He don't have any idea what I got happenings with my hand deep in this dead woman. my whole body stiffens and i slowly pull his hand out, gripping the slab, Tha Pain has set in and I start ta rabbit on "muuk, fer. FUCKS. sshhhhhAKE." I pushe away from the slab, leanst the wall, gripping it, nails raking it "rrrrkkkk" Poncho looks puzzled, turning to Her Ladyship as I slide down the wall to ground level, clutching his chest and belly, smearing the girls blood over me. Her Ladyship raises an eyebrow and looks to Pontifex.. "the New Moon nears its end.. he changes, perhaps?" Poncho nods, "Nareth will be hunting again..."

I leaned my face agaisnt the cold wall panting, sweating . Bloody inconsiderate “ggguuuukhhhhccchhhh"
I punch the door of the next slab, breaking fingers like an idiot. Tha Pain. Not good. Her Ladyship steps forward, unsure what to do to help. I arch my back, and a sickenin poppin sounds out briefly. Her Ladyship tilts her head, eyes widening. She's not seen my Moon-Shift before. I’ve managed ta be elsewhere. No such luck this time. Too eager ta be useful. Failin at that too. " grrrruuh, rrruuuhhhaahhhh" Then it stops i stop shuddering, still panting, sweating, now clutching my banged up hand. "fuck this shit" I look up at Her Ladyship and Poncho "fuckin sorry, folks, guess we're occilatin. Moon must be wigglin on tha equator. fuckin Newton" Poncho is caught off guard by his own chuckle. I guess he's laughin with me, not at me. I just look pained, and feel embarassed. "I, i think i broke somethin. usually come good by now"
I hold up a swelling left hand, split knuckles. "erm, i think i better get some ice" Her Ladyship nods, I look to the body but She cuts me off. "Let's get you sorted out, hmm? We can finish this later - she's not going anywhere." but I can sum it up. she was gutted, awright, fer food, er ritual, hard ta say, though. i feel tha right plonker. bad timin, that. Her Ladyship shakes her head.. I grin, in spite of things, then flex my hand and frown. its broke, two fingers i think. I duck off, leavin Ponch with His Lady, lookin fer ice, mutterin to myself "great . . .now yer a wus AND a freak"


Later on, there was a bunch of us in Tha Library. We've been talkin Gods and Mortals. Dreams come up. I let slip about mine. Must be Tha Pain.Lari regards me "Are you fighting nightmares?" as My-She banters with Kaine "you can choose to refute hope and give up on dreams... or you can choose to chase them.. search for them.. find them... my choice is to chase them till they are mine" I tell Lari that I dream about Timor as Pix stares into the fire "sometimes dreams are all there is" My-She catches my line, bites her bottom lip and whispers "we will take care of part of that soon, my One.. today maybe.."
I just make a face "cant take away what i did, My-She" as Lari asks "Timor?" My-She reached over and wraps around me tightly ..whispering fiercely "being the most beautiful Being i know" I know. I go on though "yeah, Lari, little place north of Australia" Kaine still continues to sing to himself, I press on "lovely place, where children would dance and play and sing, and loving mothers bring cool drinks ta their loved ones . . .oh, wait, we killed them all" I shut up with a frown. Lari nods. "Your past hunts you, then?"
I try ta apologize "sorry, all, ya didnt need me ta say that" no one wants ta hear about tha monster I used ta be.My-She looks at me eyes aching with my pain "wasnt you, my One.. was The Soldier.."

Kaine pipes up too "I think I may take my leave.... I suddenly wish to forget the bitter taste of forsaken dreams" Her Ladyship nods solemnly to him. Lari gasps quietly, and nods, standing up, and crouching beside me She strokes his chin and made me look into her eyes so I lean forward and bumps heads with her then look up, catching Laris eyes in my own. bright yellow matching hers. We feel tha touch of minds. Her Ladyship sighs a little, looking concerned.."There is not one of us here without a little regret over the past, GrrBrool.." my eyes go wide as Lari touches my mind. My-She looked over my head, to Lady Omega.. biting her bottom lip as Pix silently nods in agreement, staring into the fire.

"gerk" Tha Pain has come back. I blink rapidly at Lari, and shudder as she just stares, her skin, even her eyes glowing, pulsing as she breathes. She keeps on staring after he blinks, still holding my chin. I know what’s coming. I try ta leave, ta spare them tha spectacle. I try to lift myself up on my broken hand and rolls to one side. Idiot. "gakh, aww, fuckkkiittt." can’t get away. Lari winces, and reaches to hold me up so I don't tumble too hard. My face screws up, I started twitching, jaw clenched tight. Her Ladyship sighs, watching. My-She watches.. helpless. "ahhhrrrrhkkkk" real captivatin speech. I just twitched and writhed, clutchin my chest and belly Some one I love calls "Grr????" I can’t tell who, it hurts too much. Lari glows even stronger, holding me gently by an arm, watching I shudder, calming, breathin slows to normal. Lari's doin. as she stared into my eyes, so she slowly disappeared, takin a trip in me. Then with a sudden burst, fur sprouts, bones shift, spine rolls, tail grows, joints pop and roll the way only a Shifters can, and I just curl inta a ball. I can hear My-She start to reach for me, then tha creak of tendons as she pulls back. Her Ladyship winces at my pain. I hear it over my pantin I relax, steamin, and sit up.

Pix's smile is wary. She's seen it before. My-She whispers so so so softly "please help me to fix this, Goddess, please.." I padded carefully to her, drapin an arm and she nuzzled softly against me. I looked over to Her Ladyship and around tha room. "i'm so sorry ya all saw that". Well, that set My-She right off. "will you STOP apologising for this!!??!!?? each and every one of us loves you, you goofy mutt. LOVES. not just .. yeah ok, hes a nice enough guy. LOVES, so stop being a nit". I could just barely nod. Pix chimes in "She's right Grr, and you know it" I tried ta make my self clear. "well, thats why i dont want ya ta see it, yeah?" My-She croons to me "baby" before Lari grined to My-She "Well he is just modest." I feel I gotta explain. I ain't groppin fer sympathy or pitty. "what kinda sick thing ya think i am, huh?" but its Her Ladyship's turn "Should I apologise, GrrBrool, for being a Vampire? Would you like me to offer you an apology for that?"

Lari tilts a head to Omega, laughing. Pix kicks in "Grr, all of that is part of who you are, just like Lar can show you her wings and I can yell at you. We love you" Makes me feel worse, it ain't what I mean at all. " no, Yer Ladyship, I just dont want ta show all that pain." My-She gets fierce at me "then tough guy.. allow me to try to take that pain away?" Her Ladyship is on a roll though, "And what of Mirah. Look at her! Whiskers sprouting from her cute face. Should she apologise? Perhaps Pix might apologise for her wings." She shakes Her head. I reply real low. "I, um, it aint tha Change i'm sorry fer." My-She mutters "whiskers tickle" Pix agrees, "wings are useless". I go on real quiet. They ain't heard me. "Please. dont make me show this anymore, please." but Her Ladyship is riled "It's an insult to all of us, to think we would require an apology. Because you feel pain. And should we hide from you, then? Our pains, our joys? I whimpered "i dont want ya ta see it" My-She "oh my One... the very last thing any of us want is for you to be in pain, ever, but share it with you, we will. until we can make it disappear. and i am going to try to do that" I just balled up, curled up, putting my arms over my head. Her Ladyship noded to her, and she went on. "i would love to see you live your Changes in the joy they used to be for you" then she reached into a small pouch and pulled out a couple tiny metal balls, and rolled them onto the rug.

"may i show you what i am thinking...? these metal balls are not the same composition of metals as the shrapnel.. but." I relaxed again, and looked as My-She's eyes seem to change .. almost looking metallic.. her gaze is into some distant place, then I peaked at tha balls as her lips moved, without sound, and her fingers swirl the air with softly glowing streaks. Pix carefully walked up to me smiling gently and kisses the top of my head "rest easy, we all love you" before rising and walking away "take care all". At first I didn't see anything happening to tha balls but gradually their edges become fuzzy looking.. their smoothness was gone. more quickly, they seemed ta erode from all sides, becoming smaller.. paler... dimmer..until they disappear. I watched intently as My-She leaned back, breathing softly, her eyes changing to their normal bright colour." it isn't exactly the same... but.. like that, much much more care of course.. this is inside you..." I looked from her to Her Ladyship and back. I saw tha approval in Her eyes. "and much healing and patching needs to be done too and scar tissue to heal..but.. i can .. i think"

I curled into My-She's lap "do it, when yer ready, do it, i don't love my pain, i hate it. i hate it cause it stops me from bein . . me, it huts ta see ya all hurtin, do it. i'm more afraid of tha looks in yer eyes than what might happen. Do it." She stroked my fur softly and whispered "here.. now.. you in my lap.. our Lady at our sides? what of the penance you seek?". "fuck penance. my pain aint gonna hurt no one else." She kept strokin my fur.. "alright... but i have one request first" I can smell her tears. And feel Her Ladyships gaze. "kiss me first?" how could I refuse?

I looked up, bright yellow eyes, sparkling, lovingly, as i kissed her, muzzle softly pressing, she responds to the kiss, passionately... pulling away gently, she whispered "I love you GrrBrool" my heart lept. But I stood my ground. I sat up, leant over and hugged Her Ladyship, Omega, around the waist swiftly, leaning up to rub my muzzle agaisnt Her cheek and pulling back to look Her in the eyes. She held me tight, whispered.. "all will be well..."

My-She said softly "you will be awake.. you will see both of us.. here with you.. ok?" as I give a posture of total relaxation, tail wagging slolwy, eyes lidded, hunkered down looking from one to the other, utterly, UTTERLY secure."i will try hard to make sure it wont hurt at all" I tell her. "pain and me .. . got a special two fer one deal, My-She, dont you worry aboiut that one little bit" she goes on some "and i want you to tell me anything you feel ok? i do worry about it.. the last thing on earth i ever want is to hurt you"
I shook out my head, back, arms, my whole body, grabed my bag, and sword, and gently undid them, and sent them skittering under tha couch. I tell My-She i'll see her on tha other side, either way. She growled.. "no talking like that. you will be awake.. here.. talking..." she scooted over.. snuggling me between Her Ladyship and herself.. wrapped her arms around me. "baby.. it will be ok.. YOU arent going ANYwhere. promise" Reminds me how much longer tha two of em have been about. I look from face ta face. I tell them I believe. That I got . . .Faith.

Mirah McGuire smiles at the Lady, and beams at me " i could do this encased in a full ritual..calling the quarters.. setting the wards.. calling the guardians.. but.. there are three of us here..three is the perfect number and She is with us always. i lay still as I can breathng softly, mouthing a prayer ta Coyote and tha Goddess that my body lets her work. That I don't fight her. Merma comes in and greets, open-mouthed. "so.. simply... Mother.. we seek healing for the Being we love, GrrBrool.. i, Your Priestess, ask for Your wisdom, Your healing skill, Your love and Your Blessings in this Work... thus i have prayed, in perfect Love and in perfect Trust.. so mote it Be"

Merma's eyes widened looking around"what happened to grr?" I hear Her Ladyship say "He's fine, Merma.. we heal an old wound." and My-She continues, sparing a smile for Merma as always.. "nothing .. well nothing new... i am .. we are.. seeking to heal old wounds" Merma nods looking between them both "do you need assistance?" My-She stroked her hand softly over my cheek, shaking her head, "not in the actual work, but love and adding to the power would be very welcome" Merma nods and goes the cushion near us "I will pray then." My-She starts the Working. Moving tiny atoms.. patching wounds the doctors could never touch so long ago.. i lay as still as i can, just my ears and tail twitching. I see through Lari's gift as My-She finds a jagged piece of shrapnel.. accepts the agony .. fire.. from the cold iron, and Merma clsoes her eyes praying softly opening her energies for her use. She feels Merma's beautiful spirit along with Lady Omega's... as she slowly .. painfully works not only to disintegrate the cold iron that is tearing at her soul.. but to heal the tears and wounds and scars it's caused inside me. She continues slowly, scanning.. moving tiny atoms.. pushing things back into the shape they should be. Several pieces of shrapnel lodged near and in my spine require very slow close intense concentration... rejoining nerves.. making sure their spark travels as it should.... the pain of the cold iron numbing her extremities now. She whispered soothing words in several different languages.. eyes still far far away.... fingers moving over me body, directing her Work.. Through Lari's ghost eyes I see Her Ladyship hand grip tha arm of the chair as She watches. Merma kept prayin softly with her eyes closed. delicately.. easing a piece of metal away from his spine while healing the flesh as the shrapnel erodes.. filling the hole it leaves with healing flesh and sinew and blood and bone...

I twitches twice, and get still, she slides over the area making sure all the shrapnel around my spine is gone.. that everything seems right.. whispering "GrrBrool, wiggle your toes and fingers please?"
I wriggled fingers, left hand, right hand. I wriggled toes, left foor, left foot. I wriggled my tail. My-She whisperd a soft thank You to Tha Goddess as she continued.. searching my body, healing, the touch of the shrapnel .. the deep numbness is spreading and Lari sees that My-She knows she doesn’t have much more time.. she has to finish healing him before..... before..something. She finds a large piece is against my heart.. so close.. so dangerous.. atom by atom ..slowly eroding it.. agony lancing through her.. to fall off into the dark numbness that is slowly filling her... patching the wound.. healing the Being she loves... Me. Desperate to finish this Work before she cannot continue.. Her Ladyship watches Mirah, her brow furrowing..

My-She, deep in her search whispered "deep breath... tell me .. does it hurt?" She scans his lungs wondering how I survived these wounds... wishing she had been there to help me back then... It hurts, but it’s a healin hurt. Like bein shot, er stabbed. Not tha long ache of an untended wound “rrrr, no, feelin . . .peachy” is all I can muster, I don’t wanna et her feel anything but confidence, and success. She passes hands over me finding one more grouping of shrapnel.. its all she can see... eyes darkening... eroding the pieces with a little less finesse.. healing carefully as she can.... then she whispered try.. “try changing”. Her Ladyship watches intently, her eyes shifting to Merma who whispered softly ta herself. My-She watched me carefully... looking for wounds hidden from sight.. sees none.. Merma looked up still mumbling softly watching mirah intently. I nod. I lay, hesitant, waitin for tha pain as Lari’s eyes show me My-She as tha dark cold fills her .. she clings to awareness.. has to see if im awright. Merma sees it too, moved closer to her askin softly "are you okay?". I get ready, I sighed and rolled inta a ball. My She doesn't answer... watching . feeling.. waiting. I roll tighter inta a ball.

I Changed!

In a flash, a bright, beautiful flash inside my eyes, held from me for years now. I Changed with no pain. I am in my four-leg form so i sat upright wagging tail and panting as My-She lets slip a tear and collapsed. Her Ladyship leans forward in her chair and Merma reaches out to My-She stopping her from hitting the floor, quickly her hand changes colour to black and starry light motes entering her body healing and soothing. I lean in, nuzzles My-She and lick at her cheek, murmuring in my native tongue of growls, yip, and chirps. I whimpere and looked ta Merma and Omega closed my eyes and swiftly Changed again.
Her Ladyship rises swiftly from her chair, leaning over Merma who frowned as beads of sweat show on her forhead "I dont understand.. its not working like it should." Her Ladyship looked to Merma, nodding slightly, decision made.. but I’m faster to act.

I scooped My-She up, she weighs nothing at tha best of times, and now, I have tha rush of life in me and I glow. Literally. Her Ladyship tears a glove off. bites savagely at her right wrist, tearing flesh with her fangs... as I begin ta chant outloud, in tha language of tha Wild. None there would know what I said, and I don’t feel like sharin, but this is what it woulda sounded like in case ya hear it again.

“aashuah nae ruak sheeneaah frrauah cheena han sha newferas nee hans soo alliea ba ne go cha nee whron, cha ne sh vata ne ro vata ne shuan! VATA NE Sh-AHN!”

Tha call was between me, Coyote and Tha Goddess.


Her Ladyship holds her wrist out, nodding to me..”Feed, Mirah..” as I called down the elemental forces of the Wild and started ta glow from within with a golden red light as it filled me. Her Ladyship brought her dripping wrist close to Mirah's lips.. as I made my own Working.

“aashsunaka ara she no ma naeee i sha SHE mana She MATRE SHE”

Again, its between Coyote, Tha Great Mother and me. But I think ya get tha idea what I was askin fer.

The scent... the blood.. the.. other... calls My-She to feed, gasping in agony and beauty as the fire races through her, she leant in Her Ladyship growled low in her throat, her tone commanding.. “FEED.” My-She yowled, an unearthy sound.. and started feedin almost ravenously... I loomed, filled with an essence greater than my body could hold, standing taller and larger than most have seen a mortal do. I breathed in, holding the breath of the room stilled. I breathed out, to the sound of Chinook wind. Her Ladyship snarled, forcing herself to stand still and My-She gasped.. blood dripping down her chin.. and blinked.. eyes open but still unseein. Flames reflected inside her eyes for the briefest second.. then they cleared and she saw Lady Omega standing right there as I held her in my arms, eye ta eye with Her Ladyship, “Lady... is ... he .. is ....” Her Ladyship replies “He's fine Mirah.. just fine..” and I bend my head down to kiss her in my arms, before startin dancin about the room gently with her in his arms. She sees the blood on herself, on Her Ladyship, on my muzzle from the kiss and asks "what...... who .. " then realises the room is whirling and she realised who’s strong arms are holding her.. "Grrrr???" as I lick her face clean of tears and blood and worry.

Her Ladyship steps back, sinking into a chair, cradling her wrist.. as I still dance. My-She catches a glimpse of Lady Omega.. and wiggles out of Grr's arms to race to her, kneeling at her feet “ Lady... oh Goddess, Lady what have You done?.” I can barely contain myself. Its been so long, and the pain is gone. “Nothing, Mirah.. only what I could. You are all right?” My-She cried again, I could smell it "for me?.. i ... " My eyes were still glowing, as I winked to Merma "thanks" as Her Ladyship gives Her blessing “of course for you..for both of you..” The Two are close in talk “i dont know how to thank You” My-She turns to Merma.. “or you.." I gleefully Shifted one more time, back to my native form. One too many, I guess after what I’d been through, after a Summonin, a Channelin, and a Workin. I stood there, standing close on my four paws, wobbling fer a moment as exhaustion kicked in. I kinda made a happy yip, wagged my tail, and did something really sissy. I passed out.

I had had a big day

Why I talk like I do.

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Pencil note, scribbled in a passably legible hand. Dated 3/6/08
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I got ta thinkin, after some laughin yesterday. I don’t talk pretty, I don’t get some of tha tricky double meanins of words sometimes. I think I do awright but. Thing is, I learnt ta talk after getting yanked from Melbourne Zoo by tha DSTO goons who dropped me off to tha 7RAR-L. What’s tha big deal ya ask? How long did it take ya ta learn ta talk? When did ya start? How many kids were in ya class? Did ya family all come around ta see ya? Let me tell ya, that’s not how it went fer me.

They got a special program fer us ferrals, tha Four-Leggers, ta educate and train. It'd start with another , older Shifter cominin and establishin dominance, and communicatin like that, buildin a bond. Same one came in when I was Fleshie and did tha same till I got it. Then there was object ID: ball, box, chair. Kids stuff. Just like any Fleshie family would, I guess, except I was full grown. A man ta look at. Retarded, some mighta thought, some stupid enough ta say after I learnt what it meant. Eventually they got tha picture. As soon as I was good enough ta get taught other stuff say, sam Trainin. Took about a year ta get there. I got lots of exercise durrin that year too, mind, and Shiftin practice, so I could take all my forms as I pleased, Moon phase allowin. I'm a fast learner. I read slow, but I never had much ta read or time ta do it in.

When I 'graduated' from talkin school I had been house-trained and given tha basics of Fleshie social skills. Only as much as was needed fer a Drill Sergeant ta work with. All that "Sir, yes Sir" stuff, military indoctrantion, weapons and tactics and tha like. That’s when I got tha specialized anti-non-human trainin too. With that came folklore, myth and both sciency and arcane learnin. How did all thif affect how I talk? Well, I learnt ta talk proper in tha baracks, with tha other Snarls. I been told I swear a lot, well, what did ya fuckin think, I was gunna do? Stuck way out in tha bush 2 days run from a town, on a secret Army base inland north Queensland.

Tha other thing I got was movies. Unlike my Two-Leg cousins, I never grew up in Fleshie society, fer better or worse. That meant I didn't "get" a lot of thins about how Feshies did stuff, and they couldn't afford ta let me lose in public, we got kept on-base any time we weren't in-country. So I got ta watch a lot of movies. Some of them were even required learnin. Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, Rambo: First Blood, Sniper, Heartbreak Ridge, Hamburger Hill, Gladiator, Navy SEALS, Predator, Henry V, Black Hawk Down, We Were Soldiers, 300, Dog Soldiers, Galipolli, Tha Light Horsemen, Aliens, Soldier, Patton, Tha Battle of Tha Bulge. All kinds of good stuff in there. Taught me all kinds of thins about Fleshie society and how ta be a good soldier. How ta talk socialy. How ta interact with civilians.

So if ya wonder some time why I talk like I do, think who taught me ta, and how.

Medical Report. Field Veterinary Hospital 3. 7RAR-L . East Timor. Operation: Red Moon

GrrBrool Lykin OOC backstory, some details and likely the whole thing will come out IC, but in dribs and drabs, ask, and he will probably talk . . .
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Medical Report. Field Veterinary Hospital 3. 7RAR-L . East Timor. Operation: Red Moon
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Combat Surgeons Report 19/06/2004
Case 0178
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Lycan 0571. Platoon Sgt GrrBrool.
Gender: Male.
Breed: Canine.

Initial Assessment: massive thoracic and abdominal trauma resulting from near direct hit from 90mm artillery. Left thigh partially de-fleshed. Left arm multiple compound fractures. Massive blood loss and extensive shrapnel wounding. The fact it is still alive at all is a testament to how hardy these things are. This one was recovered by chance following after-action clean up at dawn after heavy counter-offensive. Subject was caught in the open during a barrage and was found in a crater under bodies and debris.

Triage:
Subject delivered by MediVac in "hybrid" state having been given field transfusion of 6 units plasma + 8 units autologous RBC.
Some innate regenerative healing had already occurred, stabilizing the Subject to some extent. Despite massive trauma, organ damage and/or loss and blood-loss,
Subject was still responding reflexively whilst unconscious, and as unlikely success appeared, according to protocol, due to its value, emergency surgery was attempted.

Procedures:
Emergency transfusion continued.
Thoracic cavity was irrigated and debrided following venus and arterial closures and/or clamping was effected.
Silver nitrate euthanasia system in place as standard precaution if Subject regained consciousness. (Records later showed Subject is not affected by typical Lycan silver anaphylactic reaction, gold has similar effect in this case. WE NEED TO HAVE THIS KIND OF DATA PEOPLE !!)
Surgical removal of shrapnel + debris from thoracic cavity complicated by deep lodgment in spinal column and proximity to heart. Thigh and arm wounds comparatively simple to attend.
Subjects innate regenerative ability dramatically reduced but still observable.

Prognosis:
Subject may eventually return to active duty status following recovery. Recommend follow-up surgery NOT be attempted to remove remaining thoracic + spinal shrapnel. It should re able to function without risking killing it with further invasive surgery.
Recommend Level 3 containment throughout recovery period due to recovery pain and its Canine breed.
Again, the fact it made it back here to the table is nothing short of miraculous. If we had more of these things I could retire.

Time, passes

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Pencil note in hasty, messy scribbles, written in several sessions dated 27/5/08
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Seems I been so caught up in tha four walls of Tha Library I have missed stuff out in tha city. I feel kinda torn between two sets of duties. I keep tha late watch, tha wee small hours when most of Toxia sleeps. Tha hour of tha wolf till tha cold grey hours before tha dawn. Means I miss most of tha traffic, but I meet tha lurkers and crazies. Tha big news mostly passes over me as I curl in tha corner upstairs or in a dark corner. Just tha way it is. Nocturnal, I guess.

Portia reminds me, gives me an earful that she never sees me anymore, that i'm always cooped up in ta safety of Tha Library. I don’t argue it, I have been. It don't matter that I got duties and catchin up ta do. I need ta get out more. Yet, I got stuff I been doin. Learnin, bein a face of tha Institute. Seein ta tha well bein of my Family. And still, I’m a workin Shifter. I need a mission. Purpose I got. Station I got, I been wonderin if I’m doin enough. Who knows. Poncho knows, that’s who. Tricky bugger has been lookin at tha books, checkin tha chalks and doin tha numbers.

We had some damn awful luck recent like with Praetors. Arcann, Lorne. Totally different ways, but still. Nareth's been gone a long time too. I know she comes in now and then with tha King Tide, but her seat is lonely. New faces, or at least, new ta tha roles, Joah, Merma and Lari have been promoted ta reward service and so we got extra hands ta keep busy. Just like back in tha 7RAR-L, we got section heads. Bloody good thinkin. Exactly what I needed. We got our Covert Ops, headed by Comerade Bork, Her Ladyships Left Hand (gotta keep operational security ya know. Media + Public Relations is Poncho's baby. Paranormal Studies will go ta Joah I figure, bein tha lab-coaty type. Magical Research seems likely ta go Lari's way, beein recenty back from tha beyond herself and all Agelified.

Library operations I think might go ta Merma. She's got an affinity fer book learnin. Her Ladyship and Poncho asked me ta look over tha list and see if there was anythin that struck my fancy. Ya know, there was one thin, one job that seemed ta jump out at me and latch on. I just grinned my most canine toothy grin at em both and handed tha list back ta Poncho sayin what ta some mighta been tha furthest from their minds. Somethin ya might think me mad ta suggest.

Diplomacy.

I'm gonna take tha job of tha Institute's Diplomatic Praetor. Ha. If only Drill Sgt Cunninham could see me now. Never thought he'd toilet train me and teach me ta eat my Kibble'n'Pal with my FRED (thats P38 ta ya septics) and now I’m gunna be representin a movin and shakin civilian research Institute in a volatile target rich environment. He'd be spittin chips if one of tha other SNARL's hadn't torn off his arms after one too many slaps with his marshalin crop.

I know it's Poncho's old post. I know a lot rides on it. I hope I can hold my head up ta tha task. I got friends in all tha Factions, more or less. No enemies ta speak of, fer my part. I been around long enough that folks get ta know my face and scent. I figure they can trust me ta be me, at least. So, respect i'll see if I get, but with Coyote's favor and tha Goddess' grace, i'll do a good job, come back with my shield, or on it, as they told us they used ta say in tha swords'n'spears days.

Sometimes ya just have ta wait and watch, and somethin good wanders in front of ya on tha trail. I was worried I was just bein a fireside General. I'm no Sir, I work fer a livin, now I got somethin ta do. Just gotta show My-She that there is a place fer her in tha Institute, that tha unique spark she's got, Priestess, High and humble is just as important as tha Nephilum, tha Angels and tha Elder fuckin Fangers who start ta go toe-ta-toe with them fer years. That a witch is just as needed as a broken soldier Shifter like me. I know what it is ta run alone, ta follow and ta lead. It was drilled inta me beyond instinct. I hope I can show her. Tha Family's stronger with her. Takes all kinds in this Family. It's what makes us, us.